Things I Can't Say

Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom

Things I Can’t Say

There are some thoughts that flitter through my head that I realize I can’t say. Maybe I’m just being crabby in that moment and don’t really mean them or maybe I do really mean others but know there’s nothing to be gained from saying them. Or maybe if I said them, it would just confirm how awkward I can be. But, why not share them here?

I’m Auntie to 8 but I have a favorite.

Much as I hate drama that involves me, I’m entertained sitting back and watching others’ drama.

I complain because my hair is a giant pain in the ass, but I secretly think it’s pretty fabulous-looking hair(why is it that we aren’t supposed to admit what we like about ourselves?).

I’ve judged the moms who show up at school pick-up still in their pajamas(not the ones at drop off, though).

Whenever someone mentions buying an old house, I have to literally clench my jaw to keep from launching into warnings about lead paint that they probably don’t want to hear.

I think the next extrovert to mock my need to be quiet or be alone should be made to sit in a quiet room with no one to talk to or call or even internet for 48 hours.

introverting

If I put you on speaker phone, it means that I’m working and probably not paying attention to a word you are saying.

I don’t believe people who say they don’t like bread.

I’m glad my husband finally has friends that I actually like. There were some real creeps over the years.

The socially polite hug makes me uncomfortable and feels fake. I’ll hug a friend I haven’t seen in a while or anyone if we’re in a sad situation and definitely my kids and my husband all the time. But someone I barely know when a handshake or even a smile will do, feels fake.

I think it’s funny when someone doesn’t understand twitter.

I hate when someone says “whatever.” Shouldn’t that word be over by now? It’s rude.

I roll my eyes when someone makes a derogatory comment about yoga pants: haven’t they heard of CUTE yoga pants? Lulus, Lucy, Fabletics, Ellie. Check ’em out. They’re much cuter than mom jeans. (Fabletics is an affiliate link to a subscription service that I love)

I feel zero guilt if dinner is as simple as sandwiches and whatever fruit we have lying around. Suck it, Pinterest.

I refuse to participate in the majority of school fundraisers because I hate bugging friends and family to buy crap when the school only receives a small percentage. For the fundraisers where the school gets all or almost all of money, I’m a pain in the ass about asking for donations.

People who have no dog in this fight yet get up on their soapbox about how kids shouldn’t be medicated make me feel stabby.

When I’m only about 70% sure someone is joking, I have no clue how to respond to them and I feel like an idiot.

I’m really not worried about how much screen time my boys have, even though I hear other moms talking about specific limits. I know mine are active.

Your turn to ‘fess up. What’s something you think but don’t say?

Comments

  1. After 90% of these I was thinking, “ME too!” Bread is awesome! And people who think my kid is only going through a phase make me feel “stabby” too!

    • Those people who have no clue and yet feel like they are somehow an expert on my kid- yup, they make me so stabby.

  2. I don’t trust people who don’t like bread and I’m with you on the social hug. My friends and I were talking about that the other day because her fam is huggers and every time I see on of them they hug me and my hubs who are not the social hugging type. Don’t even get us started on the social cheek kissers I never know what to do or how to respond. 

    • It just feels so weird sometimes. People I know, yup, but when it’s someone far removed, it’s just weird to me.

    • People who say they don’t like bread = liars. My husband says whatever, but he’s learned not to with me!

  4. Let’s see….you sure you wanna get me started? 😉

    Sometimes I want to slap people who complain about their pretty typical lives when I have really big problems that make theirs pale in comparison.

    There. I said it.

    • Oh geez! Do they want to birth that baby and take care of it? If not, then they have no say!

  7. I’m a  hugger, I can’t help it. who the hell says they don’t like bread, I mean I don’t like the way bread makes my tummy feel but I eat it anyway and LOVE IT

    • I don’t mind hugging friends- it’s my normal reaction. But when it’s not someone I know, it feels so weird to me.
      I wish I could live off bread!

  9. OMG thank you for saying about school fundraisers!!!!!! I’m so sick and tired of all these fundraisers my daughters has at their school. Just last month they had two fundraisers going on. I hate bugging people about buying crap that they don’t want!

    • The fundraisers are crazy. And when the school only gets like 20%, it’s so not worth it! I’d rather just hand the school a check, which is what I usually do.

      • i have 3 kids in school.  even my 4 year old in prek gets fundraisers sent home.  now… that’s not the big part. i’m a girl scout leader. i’m FORCED to send home fundraisers 2x a year. got yelled at for not doing it.  school does 4 a year.  gs do 2. that’s already 6 fundraisers.  most sports do a fundraiser.  cub scouts do fundraisers.  its all too damn much!!  

        and the majority of the population drives me batshit crazy with what they complain about.  waaaah wahhh we don’t have any money.  (always someone who says this, goes out to eat 4-5 nights a week.  here’s a hint, STOP SPENDING YOUR MONEY ON STUPID STUFF.  cook at home!)

  10. This post made me laugh so hard.  I agreed with almost everything you said.  On my blog I usually try to give it the old optimistic twist.  But if I didn’t (and sometimes I think about It ) it would be a whole other blog.  I LOVE how you said, “people who have no dog in this fight…” That may be the best lead-in sentence I’ve ever read.  I do agree with what you said about “whatever”.  In my opinion it’s just a quicker way to say, eat shit and die.  In short – I love your blog and being so blunt with your attitude cracks me up.  You are me if I weren’t so busy being (careful) optimistic.  By the way, I don’t understand Twitter!

    • 🙂 I had fun doing this- it felt like old school blogging. I usually try to be upbeat, but thought I’d share my list! That is exactly how I feel about “whatever”- perfect description!

  11. Oh hey, it’s me again.  I have a book I think you would like.  It’s called “Quiet”, The power of Introverts in a world that can’t stop talking.  It’s by Susan Cain.  I’ve learned so much about myself from it.  And the biggest things is, IT’S OKAY, EVEN DESIRABLE IN SOME CASES, TO BE AN INTROVERT.
    Blessings,
    Tia

  13. That socially po9lite hug you talk about hits home. I hate it when someone hugs me from 2 feet away with just a couple pats on the back. It is really saying, “I don’t want to give you a hug, but I will make it look like I do.” Don’t bother. And I click your link to Fabletics. I think the yoga pants are very cute.

  14. I was telling someone MY AGE about blogging and she could not understand. I was ready to throttle her. Also, I am a twin and sometimes don’t care that you know my sister and how you know her or whatever minutia that you want to chat about.
    That felt good!

    • Get it out! 😉 No twin here but sometimes people have to tell me how they know my husband and while I appreciate the connection, can we talk about something else?

  15. I can relate to SO many of these! I totally do the speakerphone thing, and I have actually warned about lead paint a time or two.

    People trying to “loose” weight make me stabby – I want to tell them, “How about you start by losing the extra O??”, but I feel it wouldn’t be polite. 😛

    • Since one of my boys had pretty bad lead poisoning, it’s a huge cause of mine. I have a hard time not mentioning the possibility of lead whenever someone is remodeling old houses.
      LOL @ “loose.” I feel you on that!

  16. I have to say that I have thought most of the things that you wrote about. Especially about the being on the speaker phone and the zero guilt about dinner. I have no problem giving my daughter nuggets if it’s a busy day!

  17. Oh bread…how I’ve missed you! I sooo want some.

    And, yes to the speaker phone, but I’m doing better at just not answering.

    I usually want to say something to somebody that doesn’t have their kid properly strapped in their carseat or has the carseat way up high in the shopping cart. But, I never do.

    • I understand giving up bread but not flat out not liking it. 😉 The people who have their kids on top of their shopping carts- I really want to say something. That’s NOT what they are made for and the baby could easily fall. With my last one, we had a Chicco seat and they purposely made them so they didn’t fit in that top part. 

  19. So funny, especially the speaker phone one. I’m so guilty of that one at work! I’d say I’m not a fan of the moms who show up at events wearing their high heeled boots and super stylized clothes and hair and then say I have no time for me!

  20. I love this so much. 

    This is totally me –  If I put you on speaker phone, it means that I’m working and probably not paying attention to a word you are saying.

  21. I too hate school fundraisers…..pain in the butt! I don’t like bread…..believe it or not! :-). I hate when people insist on eye contact 100% of the time. That’s just weird!

    • No bread? None at all? Fundraisers really are a pain. I know the schools need them, but I much prefer the ones where I don’t have to buy or sell anything! 

  22. Love it! But.. seriously what’s your beef with PJ’s in the afternoon? LOL! I work at home, that is one of the perks 😉 Hmm.. I definitely rattle off a lot of things that I shouldn’t say.. luckily my hubby doesn’t mind, which really helps. 

    My main beef today was about morons that don’t walk on the right side of the bike path. I mean really there is no excuse for it –  there are signs everywhere! Hate when they look at me like I’m in their way. Get real dude! 😉

  23. I totally agree about the drama. I could watch/listen/read it for hours, but will run for the hills before I ever get myself involved. We don’t have any screen time limits either. My kids are active and I don’t worry about it. On the rare “down” day I just say “enough” when I feel like they have had too much and there is usually so e correlation between how much I have to get down they day.

    • Since my kids are in so many sports and they like playing outside, I just haven’t set hard limits. Sometime in the summer, I’ll tell them that they have to go out and play first. 

  24. My husband truly doesn’t like bread.
    I feel zero guilt no matter what I serve my family, as long as they’re getting fed that’s more then some people can say.
    When I hear people use the word retarded in an offensive, incorrect and insensitive way I want to tell them what a complete ignorant ass they are. Oh wait, sometimes I do.

    • But there’s so many different kinds- he doesn’t like any of them? I hear you on the meals- the kids are fed, it’s all okay. Hate the use of retarded. 

  28. I have favorite niece/nephews too. One of mine really bugs me! LOL. And I have totally had days where I went to drop offs dressed and came to pick-ups back in pj’s because I was so worn out by then. haha.

  29. I don’t worry about screen time either. I have a favorite niece, but only because I just have the one. I judge my friend’s parenting and then feel guilty and embarrassed about it. I hate my ex-husband, not for what he did to me, but for what he is doing to my child. Simple dinners are the best dinners because I get more time with my son. I hate that my son’s teachers take the kids to the book fair and have them write down the books they want because I feel guilty that I don’t want to buy the books. I’d rather take him to the used bookstore and let him pick out a dozen books for the price of just one book at the fair.

    Thanks for that moment, Shell. 🙂 And I agree with a lot of what you said too.

    • I think it’s really not possible to never judge. It’s all in what you choose to do with that judgement that counts. Can’t help that gut reaction. Can’t blame you for feeling like that towards your ex. xo 

  31. I am with you on quite a few of those. And yes people who say they don’t like bread have to be lying…bread is the perfect tasting food, how can you not like it.

  32. I work with someone I lovingly call a closet hermit.  She seems so outgoing, but then she shuts down and needs her alone time.  I can see where you are going with the whole extrovert thing!

    • That sounds like me. I can be outgoing when the situation calls for it but I hit a certain point where I have to get that quiet time. 

  33. My son is an introvert! Sometimes it’s hard because I’m the opposite but i have to remember to give him his space and that things that sound awesome to me….sound horrible to him!

  34. I don’t believe the bread haters either. How can that be?!
    And I am totally with you on “whatever.” So rude. We should be done with that expression by now. 

    • There are so many kinds of bread- how is it possible to hate them all? I don’t get it. 😉 

  35. The screen time comment is something I’m with ya on! My kid plays alllll day at school and is very active at home. If he want to veg out with PBS Kids on the iPad at night for a bit, I’m okay with that.

    • Maybe if my kids weren’t as active as they are, I’d worry more about their screen time. But since they do so much, I’m okay with them having that time. 

  36. Our school just did a fun run with pledges and that’s my favorite fundraiser of the year. 

  37. Hehe…I loved this post. I wear cute yoga pants ALL the time. No shame in my game. I think I’m going to start sucking at fundraisers too. Good idea. What’s the point  when the money is going elsewhere?

  38. I always felt like such a jerk for not participating in school fundraisers, but after doing that for a couple of years, it just gets so old to be asking people. Not worth it!

  39. My teen says, ‘anyway’ when she’s trying to dismiss something I’m saying. It’s as ugly as whatever. 😉

    I hate when someone calls me ‘hon’ even if it’s on a blog. 

  40. Me too girlfriend, me too. There are so many thing I can not say or should not say.It’s hard to keep them in if I’m low on caffiene. 

  41. I am the same way about school fundraisers. My family doesn’t live anywhere close to here so unless they do online I’m not asking them. I will buy something but thats it because I won’t go around asking strangers and I won’t ask coworkers because their kids sell that crap too.

  42. Argh – I just had a pet peeve of mine pop up in my face today. and I admit, I Facebitched about it a tad. probably not the best way to deal. I love to debate and discuss things with people, and I never feel like I have to convince someone to my way of thinking. I am open to other points of view because I think it expands my own understanding and intellect. So I don’t mind listening to someone discuss something I might normally disagree with. The one thing I will never do is control the conversation if I have no actual knowledge or experience with topic: I will admit my ignorance. For example, if we are talking Shakespeare, and I have never read Shakespeare, I will do more listening than talking. Thus, as a Christian — who doesn’t try to force my religious views on anyone — I will get quite irate if you start dissing God or talking about spiritual concepts, or spouting hatred —- If You Have Never Read His Word!! Seriously – what are you afraid of? I read books that are not considered religious and no harm has come to me. Why can’t you read the Bible before you start debating with me about God? Whatcha afraid of?
    gggrrr. seriously drives me nuts. I’m not saying you must believe in it: but do me the courtesy of reading the source material before you debate with me. I

  43. I have favorite nieces and nephews too. And I don’t worry about screen time either. My daughter is active, gets straight A’s in her honor classes, and seems to be adjusting to life fine. If I go in her room at 12:30 pm and she’s still on her laptop, I don’t make her get off.

  45. Whatever, I hate bread. Haha! I’m kidding! I agree with so many of these! And, the medication thing drives me totally nuts. My daughter has so many initials after her name with various diagnosis after diagnosis. I’ll listen to her doctors first, thanks! 

  46. I love bread — I really, really LOVE bread.  Which is why I try not to eat it.

    Despite the fact that I use emoticons, I seldom know how to respond to a response that consists of nothing more than “:)”

  48. Love this.  My gripe – people who drive fast on the country roads where we live.  Some people moved out here to walk on these pretty, quiet roads.  Please don’t run us over.  This is not the city or a highway.