Do you ever have a line jump out at you from a movie or a book or a conversation and have it stick with you?
Probably whatever you were watching or reading or talking about was about so much more, but it’s that one line that you can’t get out of your head? Or maybe the actual words blur a bit, but their meaning burrows its way into your mind, into your heart.
I had a moment like that at Blissdom last week during the opening keynote by @jonacuff (yes, we call people by their twitter names). While he talked about so many big ideas and so much of it resonated with the crowd, this is what did it for me:
“You must repond to one hundred positive comments before you are allowed to reply to one negative.”
Jon talked about examples of people who get rave reviews from almost everyone and then get one negative: and it’s the negative one that sticks with them.
But, by doing that, we are saying that one person’s negative opinion is more important than 100 positive.
And that’s not right.
That’s not healthy.
That’s not a good use of our time.
With bloggers, the “comment” part hits home; we see it all the time when someone gets tons of positive comments on a post they write and then one negative and it’s the one negative that spurs angry tweets, facebook statuses, follow-up posts, and communities to go after the offender.
But, even more than blogging, this spoke to me on a personal level.
You see, while I was at Blissdom, I had a blast with women I’ve met before and was so happy to see again, women I’ve only talked to on twitter/in blogland and couldn’t wait to meet face-to-face, women that I look up to, and women that our first introduction at all was because we met then.
Hugs all around. Laughs, good times, discussion, jokes, dinners, drinks, dancing, being a woo-girl, getting lost in the hotel together, chatting in a session.
I felt very much like I belonged there.
But, there will always be that one.
Who rolls her eyes at whatever you say.
Who turns and whispers frantically in a friend’s ear right after you talk to her.
Whose face can’t hide her obvious disdain.
But, I had a choice to make: waste all my time and energy trying to sell myself as someone worthy of friendship to that one person or spend the time with people that not only did I want to be with but who also wanted to spend time with me, too.
The keynote echoed in my head and I made a choice: don’t make the 1 negative more important than the 100 positive.
Focusing on the positive made my trip a fabulous experience.
Do you get caught up in the negative or can you let it go and focus on the positive?
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