I used to be afraid to try certain things.
Because I liked to stay in my safe little bubble where I could succeed at everything that I tried. I like to win, people.
Get first place, do a fabulous job, be seen as a success.
And so, sometimes that would cause me to turn down some opportunities. Or make me not try something because I was convinced I would most likely fail.
Somewhere along the line I stopped caring.
Realized I was missing out. That I don’t HAVE to be the best at something- I can just be a PART of it. That the only one who cares is me.
Silly things: like how I used to feel self-conscious about playing a game like softball with friends because I’m horrible at it. A total klutz. Or not playing cards because I never get them. But, really, who cares? It’s just fun. And sometimes I’m surprised by not being the worst one there.
Important things: like a job that I wanted but thought there were others more qualified who would get picked over me. But, it’s still worth a shot.
The trying doesn’t really cost me anything. I used to think it did.
It was a blow to my self-esteem if I didn’t do well, didn’t get the job, didn’t win. If someone sees that I tried something and failed. They’ll see me as a failure.
But, really, the opposite has been true.
With every new experience I have tried- even those I’ve failed SPECTACUARLY at- I’ve grown MORE confident.
Because I always learn something. I grow as a person. I gain experience to do better next time. Or I learn that something really isn’t for me- and then I’m able to shift my focus instead of always wondering “what if.”
I learn that I’m capable of trying all sorts of crazy things and having fun while trying. And that just makes me more willing to say YES or WHY NOT? when an opportunity presents itself.
And though, yes, I fail at some, there are some that I never would have tried if I hadn’t adopted his attitude…where I succeed.
****I wrote all of the above this weekend, inspired by my attempt at getting an online job last week…that I was certain that I had FAILED SPECTACUARLY at. I saved this post in draft, thinking I’d finish it by telling you about my rejection email when it came and tell you how I’m glad I tried but that I was perfectly okay with not getting it.
Instead, the email said the exact opposite. And I’m starting something new today. I’ll tell you more about it soon- I need to figure out what the hell I’m doing first.
But, even with this, there is always the chance that I will flop, too. But, luckily, I now have the attitude that it’s okay to try something and not be the best.
How do you feel when you are faced with trying something new?
Yay!!! I'm so excited to hear that you got it! And you were so worried you wouldn't be the person they were looking for! *hugs* Congratulations~
First of all, congrats on the exciting new opportunity! I too have found myself passing up way to many experiences in life due to an extrememe fear of failure. But over the past couple of years I've really worked on myself and can honestly say that some of my biggest failures were simply stepping stones to some of my greatest success. THIS is exactly the attitude I want to pass on to my daughter! Great post.
You are going to be AWESOME!!! Wink, wink!!!
I was and still am proud of what you accomplished last week.
Congratulations
This post makes me think more about my future. I am considering returning to school in a few years when Bubby is in school all day. Yet, I keeping telling myself I can't do it. I am going to fail miserably like I did the first time.
I can't wait to hear about it! I love learning about new jobs.
Hooray! Congrat's on the job!
If at first you don't succeed try try again!
I've never been the best at anything – and have always been okay with trying. Glad you have learned in life it is okay to fail a little.
Woo hoo. Congrats. Can't wait to hear more about it. I too used to worry what people thought of me to much to try things, now…not so much. I can't be great at something if I never try. Next up to try? Boot Camp. Little butt here I come!
Lots of yummy love,
Alex aka Ma What's For Dinner
http://www.mawhats4dinner.com
Nice! I auditioned for a show once and failed miserably. I'm awesome at bombing vocal auditions. I get so nervous! I called the director the next day and asked if I could re-audition that night (which is about the nerdiest thing you can do). I practiced a different song with my school's choir teacher and went back to the audition again. It was better than I'd ever done! I didn't make the show, but my confidence went up tenfold just for trying and doing better.
Congratulations. I can't wait to hear more about it!
I am the exact same way as you! Especially when it came to school. I didn't want to take the AP courses, because I was afraid of getting less than an A in the class. Silly, huh?
I've learned to put myself out there more, to challenge myself, and be happy with myself, no matter what the outcome is. It's a tough thing to do, but you're right…it creates confidence!
awesome congrats girl π
Good for you! I am the same way about putting myself out there. I've always been very critical of myself in ways I would never be of other people.
Ohmy gosh, Shell.
I just had this talk with my 15 yr old son last night.
You've got to try, you can't go safe.
We said these exact same things.
the last 2 posts I've read here, I've used these words in real life.
You will be a GREAT mother of teenagers, you know that???
WOOHOO!!! Congrats my friend… you will be successful……. ps.. i always am afraid to venture out of my comfort zone… Im sending you thoughts and prayers…..now go kick some ass!!!!
When I'm not confident I tend to feel very much the same. I tend to stay in my own little world. It sometimes easier until I put myself out there and see the benefit from being involved or trying something new.
oh what i feel all the time is fear, fear of rejection. but along the way, i somehow managed to get over with it. but still until now, that feeling is still present but not too much..
congrats to you dear, hope to hear more about it…
No way!!! Super congratulations, Shell!!
Congrats to you! I'm sure you'll be awesome.
I am always a nervous wreck with new things, but it is true – what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger.
Your post inspires me today, and congrats to you Shell. You'll be great at it too, I have no doubt!
Growing up, whenever we didn't make the team or the play or the ensemble, my mom would say the same thing, "It builds character." I got so incredibly sick of hearing that! By the time I was in high school, things started going better and I was glad of the character-building that had taken place. "Yes, Mom. You were right!"
Congrats on the new adventure!
Awesome post girl! YAY congrats I LOVE good news! You'll be awesome!
Way to go trying and succeeding!
I've failed so much to date that you'd think it wouldn't even bother me anymore. It always does. I took a break from trying for a few years in my stay-at-home mom bubble. I'm emerging now, ready to fail some more!
I can't wait to hear about it!! CONGRATS!
Congratulations! It's hard to step out but many times rewarding when we do. Thanks for the reminder!
Congrats on the job! Wish I could find online work!
A friend's license plate reads "Love to Try," and I think that is such a great attitude.
Congrats on the great opportunity. I can so appreciate you blog post because I have been there so many times, passing up great chances in my life simply because I was afraid I wasn't good enough or that I would fail. I also appreciate you starting this link up! It's really great to have a bigger outlet and hopefully more people who understand what I am going through in my life!
Sounds like "congrats" are in order. That is aweseom- way to step out of your comfort zone. My comfort zone has very strict, steel walls. I don't like to leave it…I like to win and be the star. I really don't like failing at things either! Good for you, girl, from one perfectionist to another!!!
http://survivingandthrivinginmom-dom.blogspot.com
That is great!!!!
Go you. I used to feel embarassed to try things and now I just decided to do the things I like and not worry!!!
I'm the same way! Congrats on the job … can't wait to hear more about it.
Congrats to you! Hope your new opportunity brings you great things!
I have always been afraid of failure. I have passed up things simply because I thought I would fail. I look back now and wish that I would have just went for it. They always say hindsight is 20/20…
Congrats on the new opportunity! I could totally relate to this post and one of my biggest fears is failing at anything. I get so nervous and often times hold myself back because of that fear. I was truly inspired by your post! Thank you for sharing this. Good Luck!
Congrats on the new gig mama!!! Can't wait to hear all the deets!
Yah Shell! I'm soooo proud of you! congratulations my friend!
congrats to you! that's awesome! I can't wait to hear more about it.
You can also add sleeping in a hotel room with a stranger to your list of things you tried that worked out well! well at least it worked well on my end. lol!
Congrats!
How great! Congratulations!!!
Also, I have to know, did you stop being so self conscious after you had kids? For some reason it took becoming a mommy to change a lot of my habits.
Congratulations. This post is exactly what I have been thinking a lot about lately. I actually just posted something about it the other day. It's hard to get over that initial fear of failing royally and just go for things.
Oh wow, congratulations! You are going to rock it!
Congrats on the new job! I am thrilled for you and I'm sure you will just shine at it!
I too hate failing but at the same time they always say not trying is the same as failing. I am terrified of going out there and trying become a part of all the mommy clubs once Jellybean makes his debut but I'm going to bite the bullet and do it for him!
Great way to look at things
Congrats, can't wait to hear more about it!
(Breaking out of the bubble is one of the best feelings!)
I understand this so, so much. I am always hesitant to put too much out there, always hesitant that I will fail. But you are amazing and they obviously picked up on that! I am so, so excited for you!
Congrats! That's wonderful news! It's amazing what we can accomplish when we give ourselves the opportunity to try…no easy task. I'm about to put myself out there on something huge in the coming weeks and am petrified…but looking forward to it and hoping for the best!
http://practicalparenting.blogspot.com
BRILLIANT!
I can so relate, and you've taught me a serious lesson today.
I'm so glad you got the job! And can't wait to hear more about it!!
Congrats!! I'm always eager to try new things in the way of activities and hobbies, but in the professional world or education? I clam up. =/ I'm supposed to be starting college January 10th and I felt so good about finally getting out there, and then fin-aid fell through. π Feels hopeless!
Congratulations! I read your post over there and loved it. So funny and smart π
Love this post because I'm trying to think outside of the box and try things I'd previously been scared to. Congrats again and thanks for being an inspiration.
I've been trying really hard not to think too much about all the things that could go wrong. Chances are I am the only one who would even notice or remember if I am not the best ;D
Biggest cliche but something that stuck with me, when uttered when I was interviewing a future Hall of Fame baseball player: "Don't be afraid to fail."
Also, my kids were actually impressed when I told them that, no, I'll never win any race I run in. But it's a victory just being out there.
Oh Shell, I'm so happy for you! Congrats! Can't wait to hear more about the new job!
Congrats! I used to be the VERY same way. It was only in the last 5 years that I begin to see how much I was missing out on. I always thought that I was being judged. Then one day, it just occurred to me that it DIDN'T MATTER.
Good for you. Congrats!
Grats on the job! You go Mama! Like you, I have a history of being hesitant to try new things, because I too, don't like to fail.
That's awesome, congratulations! I know just how you feel – I'm a little bit the same way. If I'm not SURE I'll succeed, I don't really even try. I'm afraid of failure, I suppose.
fantastic post! Very much the same here! π bursting the bubble is great!
Congratulations!! Can't wait to hear more about it.
I'm leery of trying things sometimes too so I know what ya mean.
Congratulations!!! And I must say I love this post. I may even book mark this one. It's awesome. Thanks Lovey!
Can't wait to hear more. Keep us posted!
Wow mama congrats!!
You know, I feel the exact same way. I spent my entire 20s insecure about one thing or another. I let it all hang out now, as you can tell on my blog. Why the hell not! My philosophy now is, "it's gotta be someone, why not me?" !!!
Can't wait to hear what you've got cookin. Best wishes.
Congrats on whatever it is that I can't wait to hear about! π
Wow! I am so happy & excited for you. Congrats!
Oh Shell I totally got this post. I am a perfectionist that strives for nothing but perfection. Often I'll shy away from something because I know that I won't be the best at it. Over the years though I've learned that all I have to be is good enough. No one is perfect. No one wins all the time…well except for Oprah, but she's Oprah..and of course she's perfect.
Awwww, Shell. I'm SO VERY HAPPY to hear this. Congrats on the new gig! That is AWESOME news and you are so deserving of all these successes–you work so hard at them. (Charlotte does a little happy dance in Shell's honor).
I know exactly what you mean with this post, because I never knew how to be my own cheerleader. Like you, I was so wrapped up in the idea that I could potentially fail at something that the things that were most important to me (like writing) fell by the wayside. If I tried and failed at something I loved more than anything, well, it would have been devastating. In the past year, I've learned that not only do I have a talent for writing, but that I should really pursue it professionally. And if I fail? I will have failed doing something I love doing best. It's okay to not be the best at everything all the time.
Congrats! Sounds so exciting!
Thanks for stopping by my blog. Don't you just love Fall?
Shell I am the same way as you are. I have always been insecure and doubted myself but in the last year I am really working on being confident in who I am.
I am so excited for you. I know you will be awesome at your new job, so happy for you!
Congrats! I also do not like NEW things….but I just faxed 6 resumes hoping to find a better job…one that will actually help support my monsters π
Also…I'm gonna link up…a day late, if that's ok….
*One* positive thing about growing older is that I think we tend to get more comfortable in our own skin and more confident in our choices –
Good for you for going out on a limb into the unknown, I know you'll be FABULOUS!
Can you tell I'm catching up no my blogs??
I totally know what you are talking about! I'm trying to take any opportunity that comes my way. My brother wants me to do a blog for his art company and I'm terrified but I'm gonna try…
Good luck with the new opportunity!!
Way to go Shell!!!
Scoring the gig for sure, but more for having the gumption to even try.
They're lucky to have you.
This reminds me of my "Will I Regret My College Years?" post. And, since then, I've felt more confident about myself, too. I've felt more confident in the decisions that I've made and realize that just because I don't live life like someone else, doesn't mean I'm going to regret it.
I think what you're doing is amazing! It takes a lot of guts to apply for something you don't think you're qualified before. I'm glad that, in turn, it's given you the confidence to give things a shot!
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