Things I Can't Say

Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom

Pour Your Heart Out: Happy Parenting Tears

I started tearing up during my kindergartener’s IEP meeting this year. Not really a shock- I teared up at last year’s too. But this time, it was for a completely different reason.

If you’ve never had to sit in an IEP meeting, basically it’s meant to be a comprehensive plan to help your child in school. An Individualized Education Plan. It states your child’s areas of strength and of weakness. The reason for the IEP being in place is on there(how they qualify- what their special needs are). And then goals are set- specific goals and how they will be monitored for progress.

Last year, there wasn’t much to say in areas of strength- other than saying that he can be a sweet boy. The areas of weakness seemed endless when listed out. And in the area for parents’ goals for the future, the only thing I could think of was to say that I wanted him to be able to function in school and get through a school day.

to schoolLast year, he had multiple goals in the areas of reading, writing, math, and behavior. Along with needing occupational and speech therapy services. He would spend two hours a day with a special education teacher plus additional time each week with OT and Speech, with part of that time being focused on his behavior. He was considered a “resource” student due to the amount of time he’d be served outside of the regular education classroom.

When the goals were set in each of the areas, I remember thinking how far he’d have to go to meet each of them, but how even if he managed to do that in that year, he would still be so far behind where he needed to be by this point in his kindergarten year.

It all seemed so overwhelming.

But this year. Oh, the changes in the past year for my Little Bear.

This year: so many areas of strength listed and very few weaknesses. My goal for his future? For him to go to college.

All those goals that I wasn’t sure if he’d be able to meet? He kicked each one of them squarely in the ass: not only meeting but exceeding them. He wasn’t just meeting his IEP goals, he was meeting or exceeding the regular kindergarten standards.

He no longer needs to have any IEP goals in the areas of reading, math, or behavior.

His speech therapist expects him to “graduate” from speech within the year.

He only has a few writing goals and will only spend 30 minutes of each day outside of the regular classroom. So he’s not a “resource” student anymore, he’s a “regular education” student. As for the behavior goals, all gone, too. They did say he could have up to 15 minutes a day on a consultative/as-needed basis, just in case he did need it, but they said they didn’t really expect him to need it very often.

I knew he was doing better. I meet regularly with his teacher. And I can just tell he had been doing better- it extended to at home, as well.

But to have it all laid out in the IEP like that, so clear. I started tearing up.

And the IEP team laughed and rejoiced with me, saying how much they love meetings like this.  My son is so very fortunate to have such an amazing team helping him. I’m thankful to everyone who helped and is continuing to help my son. I probably need to find some super amazing teacher appreciation gifts for them this year, huh? 

And my little man worked so hard this past year.

I’m so very proud of him. It’s been a long road and I’ve cried so much throughout it all- it’s been a nice change to be crying happy tears.

pour your heart outClick if you want to find out more about Pour Your Heart Out. Remember, it’s about what you want to pour out: it’s personal, so there isn’t an assigned topic. It’s also about being supportive of others who are sharing: so visit other linkers and be kind with your comments. Please add the button from the sidebar or add a text link to your post if you are joining in.



Comments

  1. “All those goals that I wasn’t sure if he’d be able to meet? He kicked each one of them squarely in the ass: not only meeting but exceeding them. ” That line right there, that’s where I teared up.

    You must be one proud mama! Start saving that college money! 🙂

  2. I just cried happy tears with you! What a difference a year can make when you have teachers that care and doctors that listen to you. 
    I’m so happy for all of you, Shell! xo

  7. So very happy for you both! When you have teachers that care and doctors that listen, it really makes all the difference. I just teared up reading this with you!

    • Thanks, Kimberly. His teachers have been so incredible. We are looking at moving soon and decided that there is no way we are leaving this school district. 

  10. So happy for you and your Little Bear. He must have worked so hard this year! I am thrilled for your family that you have found just the right combination of resources and support for Little Bear. Good going Momma! And those teacher appreciation gifts I bet those teaches feel more than compensated by the tremendous progress Little Bear has made, though a Starbucks card probably wouldn’t hurt!

    • His teachers have been great. His regular classroom teacher was so excited to be able to share all the progress with me. Both she and my oldest’s son teacher this year have been incredible. I have something great planned for them. 😉 

  12. I love those moments where your tears are happy ones. I’ve had a few IEP meetings like that and those are my favorite. Even when I speak to their teachers and hear about their positive successes I tear up. Very lucky little boy to have the team he has…he will go far mom!!

    • I know not every meeting goes like this(last year’s sure didn’t) but it makes the good moments that much sweeter! 

  13. Wow, that must be such a great feeling! So happy for you and your family! I just finished my daughters 7 year old assessments for her IEP( she receives home visits for speech, OT, PT- I homeschool since her many seizures make attending school impossible but we still get therapy through the school district).  We have our IEP meeting this week. I always leave feeling so badly- I know I should be used to it by now, but it gets me every time! I wish the listing of strengths,weaknesses, and goals didn’t leave me feeling so hopeless. It is encouraging to read about your experience!

    • I try to remind myself that the reason there’s so much negative listed is because that is what they have to address with the goals- it’s not the positive that they have to make goals around. And remind myself that my son is so much more than just those listed weaknesses. I hope your IEP meeting went well. xo 

  15. Oh how fantastic this is to read!!! Congratulations on such amazing progress and here’s to saving up for college!! Oh- those mom moments are a treasure. I’m sure that one will be cherished forever…

  16. Shell!!!! This is such great news! Did you just want to grab everyone and hug them as they told you how far he has come!? What a true testament to never giving up and fighting for help and it paying off in the end. I am truly, truly happy for you and your family!

    • I did. I wanted to give them all slobbery cheek kisses. But I managed to hold myself back. 😉 

  17. Shell, I have goosebumps! What wonderful news. I’m near in tears myself. Praise God. You’ve been on such a hard journey and I feel like we readers have been on it with you. So I’m cheering with you today, too!

    • I so appreciate all the support throughout all of this- so I was excited to be able to share happy news with all of you, too! 

  18. That is such wonderful news! I loved reading this post because it makes me so happy for you and Little Bear. I am hoping to be able to rejoice at my son’s upcoming meeting as well. Thanks for sharing, Shell!

  21. This line? “He kicked each one of them squarely in the ass: not only meeting but exceeding them.”

    BEST LINE EVER! I’m so excited for this news for you and the fam, Shell. That’s awesome-sauce. For real. Your heart must totally be swelling. 

  22. All things are possible. 🙂
    So happy for you Shell, and for your son. What a watershed year, and what a terrific sendoff for the coming summer! Congrats to everyone who helped make this happen!

  24. Oh Shell, I am so happy to read this post.  Kudos to all of his teachers and therapists for helping him get this far…to you for being a mama who didn’t give up, and especially to him for working so hard! Only great things lie ahead for  your little guy!!!!

    • Thanks, Gigi! You know how long of a process this has all been and how disheartened I’ve been through much of it. I’m so excited for my little guy that things are getting so much easier for him. 

    • Thanks, Sara! We’re so excited over all his progress. And zero desire to ever have him away from this team of teachers! 

  27. That’s wonderful for your son and a testament to his school, teachers and yourself. My boy is in kindergarten and this fall went through an IEP plan after meeting with his teacher and IEP committee. I cried during it to, but they have been great and it’s all about helping him along – as the youngest in his class, he was lagging in vocab, math & had some serious immaturity/behavior issues. We went for his spring assessment and were thrilled with the growth he’s have over the past six months – it’s wonderful to have those school resources available. His teacher told me that she has other parents that don’t want to do IEP (which I was amazed at) and says they are still struggling and probably will most of their school-lives.

    • That’s such great news! 

      There are parents(I’ve seen this more from the teaching side) who don’t want their kids to have an IEP, fearing they’ll be labeled for life or somehow traumatized by it… instead of looking at it as something that can help their kids. Especially if it’s something that is put into place early on. SO much easier to help when things are caught early. 

  28. I can so relate to this post. How wonderful your child is responding. it does take work. On the child’s part and on the parent’s part. I too am thankful for a wonderful public school and teachers and administrators who are more than willing to help.

  32. This brought tears to my eyes. I’m so happy for you and for bear. Kids amaze us every day with how much they can achieve. Be proud of your little guy.

    • Wouldn’t that be nice? I know they often aren’t like this. Everyone on the team was so thrilled! 

  35. I’m so happy for you and bear! I teared up reading it! WAY TO GO, MAMA!! He is so lucky to have you as an advocate. I am so proud of you! 

    • Having it all spelled out so clearly- it’s definitely a moment for tearing up. I have to remind myself that my son is so much more than what is written down on the IEP. 

  37. I’m glad it went so well! I know first hand what an excrutiating experience that can be. The right team of educators makes all the difference in the world.

    • Oh, I know. I sat through so many as a teacher (one year, about 50 of my 90 middle school students had an IEP) and I know that these are more rare than they should be. 

  46. Reading this gave me goose bumps!! I’m so proud of Bear, you and those who have spent so much time working with them. Love it when people come together to work for the good of a child!

    • I’m so thrilled with his school. We are looking at moving but we know it won’t be far- b/c we don’t want our boys to have to switch schools! 

  47. Yea for Happy Tears!! It sounds like he is doing do well Shell!! That really warms my heart and is what I needed to read after this crazy week!!

    • He really is. It’s such a huge change! 

      Everything okay? We need a phone call. Need. Soon. 

  49. Shell, I cried happy tears reading this, too! That is awesome!!! PURE awesome. Our kids never fail to wow us. So proud of him! And you, because I am sure you did so much to help him along this past year.

    • Thanks so much, Ellen! I could not be prouder of my boy. And I want to kiss every member of his team for being so incredible. 

Trackbacks