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June 15, 2011 by: Shell

Pour Your Heart Out: Getting Through

Welcome to Pour Your Heart Out- if you need more info on how to participate, check out THIS post.

But it’s personal- it’s what YOU think is pouring your heart out. Please grab the PYHO button or link back in your post if you are participating.

Again, just a brief reminder that everyone linking is pouring their hearts out and we should all be respectful in our comments. πŸ˜‰

 

Last week, I shared with you just how overwhelmed I’ve been feeling lately. And as much as I’d love to pretend that everything is just fine now… and completely change the subject… that wouldn’t be very honest. And I’m nothing if not honest on here. Even when it sometimes hurts.

Besides, you were all so supportive that I want to share with you how I’m getting through now.

I remind myself to take deep breaths.
Because deep breaths calm me and remind me I am breathing.

I cuddle my kids.
Because there is healing power in a child’s hug.

I workout at the gym.
Because I focus on that and nothing else in that moment.

I have a glass of wine.
Because it helps to relax me.

I skype with a friend.
Because she reminds me that life can be good.

I read a sad book.
Because it gives me permission to sob.

I listen to a happy song.
Because it distracts me and makes me laugh.

I sleep.
Because rest is good.

I blog.
Because you make me feel not as alone.

I sit out in the sunshine.
Because it warms me.

I sit out under the stars.
Because the silence calms me.

I take some more deep breaths.
Because I know I can get through this.

Summer of Love
What’s Your Song?

Comments

  1. Jessica says

    June 15, 2011 at 7:07 am

    So glad you are finding some ways to get through, so tough when we are moms and there isn't much we can do about the situation we are in. I hope the next 6 weeks go by quickly!

  2. Oka says

    June 15, 2011 at 7:09 am

    It is tough, I won't pretend. I am constantly reminding myself, this too is a phase. A phase I will miss when I am in my next one.

    Don't forget those prayers.

  3. Not a Perfect Mom says

    June 15, 2011 at 7:18 am

    No one tells a new mom about the stress that comes along with the gig…
    remember when you were little and couldn't wait to be all grown up? yeah, what were we thinking? ha!
    It's tough, but nothing lasts forever…*hugs*

  4. The Blonde Duck says

    June 15, 2011 at 7:21 am

    I love the escape working out brings!

  5. Joann Mannix says

    June 15, 2011 at 7:28 am

    You forget about your own overwhelming issues and take the time to give a blog friend love and support because you are an amazing friend amongst all these other things you do so splendidly.

    Lots of love and luck sent your way for the upcoming weeks. I know how tough it will be.

    And please know, I reciprocate the favor so when you're having a moment, I'm just an email away.

    And isn't it amazing how working out just takes so much stress away? I swear, I can almost feel it leaving my body through my pores, along with the sweat.

    Now that I've left you with that oh so wonderful image, I'll just say, I love you girl. Stay strong. And remember to take your own advice.

  6. Joann Mannix says

    June 15, 2011 at 7:29 am

    You forget about your own overwhelming issues and take the time to give a blog friend love and support because you are an amazing friend amongst all these other things you do so splendidly.

    Lots of love and luck sent your way for the upcoming weeks. I know how tough it will be.

    And please know, I reciprocate the favor so when you're having a moment, I'm just an email away.

    And isn't it amazing how working out just takes so much stress away? I swear, I can almost feel it leaving my body through my pores, along with the sweat.

    Now that I've left you with that oh so wonderful image, I'll just say, I love you girl. Stay strong. And remember to take your own advice.

  7. JDaniel4's Mom says

    June 15, 2011 at 7:30 am

    You are so wise. Each of these is a great way to focus on other things.

  8. Natalie says

    June 15, 2011 at 7:30 am

    I'm so sorry Shell! I'm glad you are working through it and hope you feel better about everything soon. Don't stress girl…we're here for you and know you can get through it!

  9. christine @ quasiagitato says

    June 15, 2011 at 7:47 am

    Yet another reason to re-commit to working out. Damn. I can't seem to get away from that one! Anyway, glad you're hanging in. And I'm in your cheering section.

  10. The Mommyologist says

    June 15, 2011 at 7:51 am

    Just do the best you can…you are stronger than you think!!!

  11. Kmama says

    June 15, 2011 at 8:14 am

    I had hoped to read that everything was better, and I'm sorry it's not. From reading the other comments, it seems like there might be a time limit on this craziness? If so, I hope that time comes and goes quickly for you. Hang in there!

  12. Jen Has A Pen says

    June 15, 2011 at 8:21 am

    I hope things start to clear up for you soon. That feeling of being overwhelmed, undersatisfied, and incapable of fixing it is sooo intense. Good luck to you.

  13. K Pugliano says

    June 15, 2011 at 8:26 am

    You are taking it one day at a time, and that is all you can do. Sounds like you are finding your balance.
    xoxo

  14. Dawna says

    June 15, 2011 at 8:29 am

    You are anything BUT alone, Shell!

    Big, BIG hugs to you! Just keep holding tight to the good "things" in your life and remember (in the scheme of things) it's but a bump in the road.

    xoxo
    ~Dawna

  15. Rochelle@AFamilyofLooneys says

    June 15, 2011 at 8:29 am

    You really can get through this.

  16. living-the-balanced-life says

    June 15, 2011 at 8:33 am

    Shell,
    I am so glad you are doing these things to help you overcome the feeling of overwhelmedness (I made that word up and use it on my blog all the time!) I hope you are also learning to say NO to some things, as that can help too!
    You say you read a book for a good sob, I listen to country music!
    Can't wait to see you next week!
    Bernice

  17. Jen says

    June 15, 2011 at 8:33 am

    Life is a juggling act but sometimes you need to drop the balls and take care of you.

    I think you are doing a great job.

  18. Brittney says

    June 15, 2011 at 8:42 am

    thats great! i need to do some of those things to calm myself

  19. mama marchand says

    June 15, 2011 at 8:46 am

    I love your coping mechanisms, Shell. I'm in the same boat this week, feeling very overwhelmed with life. Thanks for the suggestions!

  20. Evonne says

    June 15, 2011 at 8:52 am

    I wish there was a quick fix to the stresses in life.

    Take a minute to laugh. even if it's over something silly, like your son getting his fingers stuck in a Chinese finger trap.

    Locking yourself in the bathroom for 5 minutes can do wonders. At least until those little people start pounding on the door.

  21. Stephanie says

    June 15, 2011 at 8:52 am

    Those sound like some really good ways of coping. I hope that whatever is overwhelming you will get better soon.

  22. The Riggs Family says

    June 15, 2011 at 8:53 am

    I love your honesty. Keep taking those deep breaths.

  23. Kim says

    June 15, 2011 at 8:53 am

    Sounds like you are doing the right things. I will continue to pray for you. Don't forget to talk to your husband about this too. He is your support and your partner. It helps to confide in him. Glad you have a system in place. Now to just get through it, that's the harder part. Big hugs!!

  24. Jessica says

    June 15, 2011 at 8:57 am

    I think those are all great things to do to help from being overwhelmed.

  25. ModernMom says

    June 15, 2011 at 9:00 am

    Sounds to me like you are doing everything right and taking care of you! Hugs…

  26. Kir says

    June 15, 2011 at 9:02 am

    there is no bad thing in admitting you're overwhelmed and your honesty with us is refreshing and I'm sure it helps to write it all out too. So you're helping us AND yourself.

    All those things you are doing, are Fantastic things. I'm just happy that you are in a place where you know the things you should do to get back to center and sooner or later you'll get there.

    We all will.

    until then, I'll send chocolate and hugs
    xo

  27. singedwingangel says

    June 15, 2011 at 9:03 am

    Truth. I think all of us have been where you are and understand completely.I think you are doing what we all need to learn to do everyday, not just when we are in that spot, but as women we often don't because we think we are supposed to keep it all together. I am glad you spoke up, and allowed others to come in an shoulder some of it even if it was simply by lending an ear.

  28. Angie says

    June 15, 2011 at 9:07 am

    I so wish I was near you so I could help you through. If you ever want to talk please call.((hugs))

  29. TornadoTwos says

    June 15, 2011 at 9:07 am

    This is a wonderful list, I do almost all these things myself to help me cope with the stress I feel. For me, it's amazing how much just remembering to breathe can accomplish- I didn't even realize how quick and shallow my breathing was until someone pointed it out to me. Now I constantly remind myself to breathe deeply, and it's amazing the peace that comes over me when I do that.

  30. Beth says

    June 15, 2011 at 9:08 am

    Sounds like you are doing what's best–understanding that we all get in "slumps" and doing what you can to overcome it and just take things day by day (or sometimes minute by minute). Plus, these times make the bright days brighter in my opinion. πŸ™‚ My thoughts are with you.

  31. angela says

    June 15, 2011 at 9:08 am

    It sounds like you have some good coping mechanisms in place, and I hope they are helping you to find some balance and your center again πŸ™‚ Thinking about you!

  32. Erinsgobragh says

    June 15, 2011 at 9:12 am

    Hang in there girl, It's hard, I get overwhelmed a lot too, but we have to fight through it and beat it! Beautiful post!

  33. Alison@Mama Wants This says

    June 15, 2011 at 9:18 am

    Whatever gets you through the day? Is what you need. Sending you love & light.

  34. Di says

    June 15, 2011 at 9:31 am

    You have been an amazing support while I've been overwhelmed by my new mommy role. We are all here for you while you are dealing with the craziness the next six weeks will bring.

    I couldn't imagine dealing with that stress and I hope all these little things bring you some peace!

  35. Just Jen says

    June 15, 2011 at 9:36 am

    Shell, You are leaving out the most important thing…. Prayer. God will grant you anything that you pray for in one way or another. I will keep you in my prayers.

  36. From Tracie says

    June 15, 2011 at 9:37 am

    This is beautiful in its honesty, and its simplicity and its depth.

    If I lived near, I would take you for coffee and breathe with you. Because sometimes breathing is all you can do, and breath leads to more life.

  37. Annie @ astonesthrowfrominsanity says

    June 15, 2011 at 9:43 am

    So glad that you are finding ways to get through. I need to take some of your advice this week. That and buy loads and loads of chocolate to eat.:)
    Hang in there.

  38. Kristin @ What She Said says

    June 15, 2011 at 9:52 am

    I'm sorry you've been feeling so overwhelmed lately. I can completely relate. For me, the blogging aspect you mention can sometimes feel like a double-edged sword – it's a wonderful creative outlet and provides a sense of community, but it can also be just "one more thing to do." And all the necessary social media that goes along with it doesn't help.

    Still, so many of the things you mention in this post also help to calm me. In fact, I felt a sense of calm just reading it! And it reminded me to take a few deep breaths myself.

    I may have to bookmark/print this out for future reference.

  39. Lisa @ Two Bears Farm says

    June 15, 2011 at 10:02 am

    It sounds like you're doing all the right things Shell! I hope it gets easier.

  40. A Mommy in the City says

    June 15, 2011 at 10:10 am

    So glad you can find a way to get through it! I love working out when I am feeling down. It's a way for me to get all of the built up aggression out. Watching mindless television helps too! πŸ˜‰

  41. Lisa says

    June 15, 2011 at 10:10 am

    That's actually beautiful. I am glad you are still able to take a minute out of your overwhelming feelings and do these things. You are definitely not alone.

  42. A Lil Story says

    June 15, 2011 at 10:19 am

    I am glad you are taking some time for yourself, and remembering to breathe always helps πŸ™‚ That's one of the reasons I love working out… turns your brain off from everything else. I definitely need that break sometimes too πŸ™‚

  43. (Florida) Girl says

    June 15, 2011 at 10:21 am

    Sounds like you are making an effort to slow down and be present. Sometimes that is all we can do.

  44. MommaKiss says

    June 15, 2011 at 10:24 am

    You CAN get thru this. One step at a time. And remembering to do these things is what will help you. Especially the breathing part. that's essential, ya know.

  45. Barbara says

    June 15, 2011 at 10:32 am

    Big Hugs!! You will get through this!

  46. Heidi says

    June 15, 2011 at 10:35 am

    You are sooo not alone! We are here for you! Vent anytime you need to.

  47. Practical Parenting says

    June 15, 2011 at 10:39 am

    I will skype you anytime! You have great coping strategies and, even though they don't fix everything, at least they can help you keep swimming along. Thinking of you.

  48. Jenn @ South of Sheridan says

    June 15, 2011 at 10:42 am

    I love a bout of good, therapeutic tears. I just hope that in general, you're starting to feel less overwhelmed. *hugs*

  49. Helene says

    June 15, 2011 at 10:47 am

    Reading a sad book helps a lot, doesn't it? Or watching a sad movie. Sometimes I watch Steel Magnolias when I'm feeling down…and I know what you mean about it giving you permission to sob.

    It sounds like you've found some wonderful coping mechanisms for the stress. More power to you…just keep taking it one day at a time (hell, take it one hour at a time if need be).

  50. Tara R. says

    June 15, 2011 at 10:49 am

    Yes, yes, yes! I hope you can find that peace, and with this approach you can do anything.

  51. Adrienne says

    June 15, 2011 at 10:55 am

    I so needed this today. thank you.

  52. Rach (DonutsMama) says

    June 15, 2011 at 11:09 am

    I'm glad you are finding ways to steady yourself. I'm going to take this list too and do some of these things as well. One day at a time, friend. I really hope these clouds will move away soon. Peace to you.

  53. Kristina P. says

    June 15, 2011 at 11:19 am

    Yes! You can!

  54. Tammy says

    June 15, 2011 at 11:29 am

    Great ways to cope! I hope things are getting easier, although it sounds like life is still tough. Saying some prayers girl and sending you great big hugs! πŸ™‚

  55. Courtney K. says

    June 15, 2011 at 11:29 am

    I love that you are finding some ways to overcome all that you have going on. The deep breaths work for me, too. And the hugs from my son…I'm not sure what it is about those sweet hugs, but they fix everything. When I get down, I also like to take a big look at things around me. It always seems to make me realize that no matter how bad or how hard things are for me at that moment, there is ALWAYS someone close by, who is worse off than I am. HUGS!!

  56. amygrew says

    June 15, 2011 at 11:49 am

    Its nice to know that you do have things that help! Music is one thing that helps me with whatever mood I need to have.

  57. Jayme says

    June 15, 2011 at 11:51 am

    My offer still stands! If you just want to meet up somewhere- like a fast food joint with a play land so we can unleash the kids and have adult talk, I'm around πŸ™‚

  58. Blue Cotton Memory says

    June 15, 2011 at 11:51 am

    You list is exactly what I do! Just breathing and focusing on that moment your in instead of the future or the past or the thing you are wrestling with. Last year, in the midst of The Great Challenge, I stopped asking, "God help me" and instead said, 'Please God Be with me" – and that made a huge difference:)

    Praying for you:)

  59. Sorta Southern Single Mom says

    June 15, 2011 at 11:53 am

    Good for you for finding things that help you through!

  60. Kim @ Mamas Monologues says

    June 15, 2011 at 11:56 am

    Those are all wonderful ways to get through the day. Know that we are all here for you, routing you in through this period. Sending hugs and hope to you!

  61. Maggie S. says

    June 15, 2011 at 12:12 pm

    Your post is a precious hymn. I can empathize with that strong emotion right now in my own life.

    I tried to link up, but I cannot get your link to come back here from my post. I am #33 if you need to remove me.

  62. Kimberly says

    June 15, 2011 at 12:31 pm

    Yes we are all here for you and I am so glad that you're nourishing your soul with all of these things. That makes a world of a difference when you take what you love and do them.

  63. Renee says

    June 15, 2011 at 1:09 pm

    Deep breaths and kid hugs always make me feel a little better…at least for a little while.

    Thinking of you!

  64. Lourie says

    June 15, 2011 at 1:17 pm

    Just the other day I realized I do not go to Zumba to lose weight or to better myself…those are just perks. I go to escape and get away from my crazy life. Sunshine and stars sound good too.

  65. Cindi says

    June 15, 2011 at 1:22 pm

    As I am truly learning for myself; God won't lead you to it unless he plans on leading you through it.

    Prayers!

  66. Renegades says

    June 15, 2011 at 1:33 pm

    Good for you taking care of yourself during this tough time. Keep doing it.

  67. Brandi says

    June 15, 2011 at 1:49 pm

    I'm sorry you're having a rough time, Shell. Hang in there. πŸ™‚

  68. We 2 Bees says

    June 15, 2011 at 2:21 pm

    Those are great reminders and things to do! Thanks for the list of how you are coping with this crazy thing called life. Take care of yourself and sending prayers your way!

  69. The Empress says

    June 15, 2011 at 2:41 pm

    denial works for me.

    My coping mechanism of choice.

    xo

  70. Tiffany says

    June 15, 2011 at 2:49 pm

    Baby steps…..baby steps. You have to start somewhere. Thinking about you girl.

  71. Rebecca Watson says

    June 15, 2011 at 3:06 pm

    Well said Shell. . . This was a beautiful post. I sometimes too, like to read sobby stories too, it somehow makes it okay to cry. πŸ™‚

  72. Anastasia says

    June 15, 2011 at 3:11 pm

    You are amazing, and those are all fantastic ways to feel better. I like the cuddle with the kids, that's my favorite.

  73. Lady Jennie says

    June 15, 2011 at 3:33 pm

    I'm glad you find ways to stay zen. Sending you hugs across the Atlantic.

  74. Grumpy Grateful Mom says

    June 15, 2011 at 3:41 pm

    I'm glad you are finding some ways to cope. Still praying of you.

  75. michellespann says

    June 15, 2011 at 4:26 pm

    Hang in there!!!! xo πŸ™‚

  76. Mrs Montoya says

    June 15, 2011 at 4:31 pm

    The simple things always seem to make the most difference. I love the way you wrote this and how you are managing the madness.

    Be well

  77. Putting the FUN in DysFUNctional says

    June 15, 2011 at 5:35 pm

    You have to take care of yourself so that you can take care of everyone else. I'm glad you're finding time to do that.

  78. Jen says

    June 15, 2011 at 5:49 pm

    I was wondering how you're doing since last wednesday's post…glad to hear you're doing ok. I love how you wrote your post. πŸ™‚

  79. Bees With Honey says

    June 15, 2011 at 5:49 pm

    Sending you a great big HUG because I love them and they make me feel good too. *HUGS*

  80. Melanie says

    June 15, 2011 at 6:29 pm

    Amazing. I'm going to take note the next time I go through my bout of feeling overwhelmed: sitting in the sunshine and sitting under the stars – love it.

    Giving you a HUGE Mommy hug. Continue to hang in there. Sounds like you're making it through the overwhelmed stuff. So glad.

  81. Mama Zen says

    June 15, 2011 at 6:31 pm

    I'm printing this out to keep. Maybe, I'll survive, too.

  82. Sarah at The Stroller Ballet says

    June 15, 2011 at 7:20 pm

    I just read your previous post…I definitely go through periods like that, as well. When everything just seems to be…too much. It sounds like you are finding some ways to make things a little easier. I'm thinking of you!!

  83. adrienzgirl says

    June 15, 2011 at 9:41 pm

    I tell myself that I can't be all things to everyone all the time. Then I remind myself that I tell my children that your best is good enough. Then I breathe. Then I shake myself a martini and let it go.

    Love you Shell. Always here when you need me!

  84. strugglingforeverafter says

    June 15, 2011 at 9:48 pm

    great list

  85. Making It Work Mom says

    June 15, 2011 at 10:27 pm

    I am happy that you are working it out day by day. There are good days and bad days. And there is always twitter for the bad days.

  86. Missy says

    June 15, 2011 at 10:59 pm

    Yes to all of those.

    A couple more that help me:

    I veg in front of the TV.
    Because it's nice to turn my mind off at night.

    I go see a movie alone.
    Because it's nice to enjoy something just because I want to enjoy it, rather than because someone else does.

    Perservere, Shell!

  87. Missy says

    June 15, 2011 at 10:59 pm

    Persevere?

    Perservere?

    How to spell? I know not.

  88. Jill says

    June 15, 2011 at 11:04 pm

    Deep breathes, wine, working out…sounds like you're on the right track. xo

  89. Mrs. Tuna says

    June 15, 2011 at 11:18 pm

    Having a sad heart pouring week, but too sad to write about it.

  90. Ms. Salti says

    June 15, 2011 at 11:20 pm

    I love this post! Reading it was very calming and I love that you're seeking solace in simple things. That's what making it through life is all about. Hang in there… you're a strong woman and will pull through!

  91. Joanna says

    June 16, 2011 at 1:05 am

    I'm sorry life has been overwhelming for you. I think we've hit bottom and on the climb back up. Wish I had this list a few years ago.

  92. Peeper says

    June 16, 2011 at 1:11 am

    So relating to every point of your post. And you are so not alone.

  93. Babes Mami says

    June 17, 2011 at 2:09 pm

    one foot in front of the other

  94. Emmy says

    June 17, 2011 at 11:45 pm

    Sounds like you doing good things to make it through. Good luck!!!

  95. kc says

    June 19, 2011 at 12:23 am

    Playing catch up — trying to limit my comments πŸ™‚ great list of things that you do to get through the crazy moments!!!! (sad books…if you haven't read it yet, try "Room" author's last name is Donaghue — I just spelled that wrong…roller coaster of emotions!!!)

    Love you girl!

Trackbacks

  1. Inspiration says:
    January 20, 2012 at 11:37 am

    […] Getting Through by Things I Can't Say – Sometime the truth just hits you and knocks you down, but the strength to get back up inspires me. […]

Welcome to Things I Can't Say: Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom. I'm Shell. Boy mom, beach girl, bookworm, ball games, baker, brand ambassador, Thinking yoga, food, and travel should start with "b," too. Finding the easiest way to do some things while overthinking so many others. Read More…

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