Things I Can't Say

Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom

Pour Your Heart Out: Finding Home

For the past ten years, “home” has been wherever my husband and then our kids were.

Wherever we were together, that was my home.

And while I believe that sentiment with all my heart, there was an unease that came from not ever feeling like a house we lived in was home.

Instead, it was always well, we’ll only be here for six months. Or I think we’re probably going to move before the year is out.

And with that came constant looking at houses that we might someday buy and live in for a more permanent basis. Our kids got to the point where they’d see us pull onto a road that didn’t lead directly to our destination and groan, “Oh no! Not looking at houses again!”

Don’t get me wrong, there hasn’t been much of anything wrong with the places that we’ve lived(well, except for the house that gave our middle son lead poisoning). And there was one house that I would have sold a kidney to be able to stay there for more than the six months we were there(anyone know the going rate for a kidney? Think it would have bought me that beach house?).

But none of the places felt like home.

It was rare that I even hung up a photo since after all, we’ll be moving soon.

None of those places felt like me, like our family. They were all just where we happened to live at the moment, before we find our true home.

And after all these years, it really started to wear on me.

I wanted somewhere that was really and truly ours. Somewhere to settle in and feel like we’d found our place instead of forever counting down to the next move.

Earlier this month, we found that place.

Somewhere that felt like us.

As we walked through, I could imagine cooking a meal in that kitchen, one of the boys at the counter doing his homework, another of the boys building LEGOs up in his room, a third running around the backyard.

I could see just where my office would be set up.

Where we’d all curl up on the couch together to watch a movie.

Just to add to its appeal, it was still in my boys’ elementary school district. There is no way I want them to change schools since we love our school.

But I tried not to let myself hope.

There have been so many times we’ve discussed buying a house. And something always got in the way.

And Hubs and I very rarely have the same taste in houses. Plus, I didn’t know if that neighborhood would be in our price range. Could we really make it all work?

But all the pieces fell into place.

And a “SOLD” sign went up in a front window of the house.

home sweet home

Sold to us.

We’ll move in next weekend.

Even knowing all the craziness that comes with a move(yes, even a move that is less than two miles away still means craziness)… but even knowing about that upcoming chaos, I still feel an incredible peace knowing that we will finally be home.

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Comments

    • I don’t know if it’s really forever, but it’s definitely looking a lot more permanent than all the other places we’ve lived over the past 10 years! 

  3. Congratulations! That is the best news. We found our forever home a year ago this month, it took us another 6 months to move in but it was worth the wait. It still is taking me some time for it to feel like it’s ours but I’m so happy to be here. Best of luck with the move, it’s a beautiful home. It’s funny but I knew our house was ours the moment I could imagine us eating dinner in the kitchen.

    • I haven’t had that feeling about many of the homes we’ve looked at or even lived in. Like 2 over the course of 10 years. So this is very exciting! 

  5. Congrats! Very exciting for you and the family! We moved two miles last year. It seems silly but I actually think it was more work than when we moved from much further way. My biggest mistake was not really packing. I packed the important stuff but was very lax about everything else. I kept saying “we can just throw that in the car.” In hindsight, I created way more work for myself. Just my two cents hope it helps out. 

    • Oh, no! There goes my plan! LOL 

      I keep thinking well, I can load up the kitchen stuff in the van, go put it away in the new kitchen. Load up the stuff from my closet, drive it to the new one, etc. Instead of really packing. Though we have a little bit of time before we have to be totally out of where we live now, so maybe being able to spread it out over time might help. 

      Or I’m just in denial. 😉 

      • That’s how our move into the house we bought went. We needed to paint before moving in, so I gradually moved our stuff whenever we’d come to paint. Never did have to rent a big moving truck. IDK if it’s the best way to do it, but it can work!

  9. Oh yay! Congratulations!

    I understand this so well. My parents live in the house they brought me home to and I have yet to find what feels like my forever home. This one can’t be… it’s not big enough…. it looks like we will be on the same journey in the next year. I hope to find the place I know will feel like “home”

  11. Yay!!! Congratulations!!! It is beautiful!!! There really is no place like home. Ooh, and there are so many fun ways to hang pictures and paintings on YOUR walls!!!

  12. How wonderful! We have a great home right now and we should be satisfied but we are still saving and hoping for the day we can find our forever home. That one way out in the country where we can have as many animals and as large a garden as we want 🙂

    Have fun getting all settled in, it’s such a big job but there is nothing that can beat that feeling of finally being settled!

    • I’d move to a place on the beach in a heartbeat, so it’s not exactly my absolute dream home, but one that feels so much more like home- I’ll settle for that for now! 

  14. Congrats! The home looks fantastic. 

    Being military we move every couple of years. It’ll be nice to finally settle down somewhere.

    • I can’t imagine. You know we’re in a big military area so we see people move in and out all the time. I know it has to be hard. 

  17. Congrats on buying the house! I feel this way all the time. Although, it’s not about houses in general. My feelings are more about places. The only place I feel “at home” is in New Orleans. Otherwise, I feel lost and homesick. Good luck on the moving. 

    • I know that feeling. This area doesn’t truly feel like home to me, but since we won’t be moving away from here any time soon, I’m settling for having a house that feels like home. 

    • The boys are excited! My office is going to be in a room with lots of windows- instead of none like my office is here. I’m very happy about that. 

  23. What a beautiful home! Congrats, Shell! I am so happy you finally feel like you are home. I know exactly what you mean. Still trying to find mine…maybe someday I will feel settled. Good luck with the move…and stock that new fridge with plenty of wine. 🙂

    xo

    • Thanks, Mary. I know you understand this feeling. I’m promising myself I WILL hang pics when we move. No more blank walls for me. 

  24. Congratulations. That is awesome and looks to be a lovely home. Don’t be like us though and actually start missing going and looking at houses. I didn’t really realize how much of our time it used to take up until a few years after we bought our forever (or at least until we win the lottery) home.

  26. that is one GORGEOUS house, YAY!
    Congratulations on finding your “Home” May it be filled with happy, laughter filled memories for you always.

    XO

  28. Congratulations Shell. May your new home be blessed with lots of love, happiness and good times!

  29. Shell!!! So happy for you. I know this has been hard, not feeling at home. You and I have commiserated about this before. It is beautiful and I love the images you painted of your family living there.

    • It is so hard to feel that way for so long. This has all happened so quickly and now I can’t wait til the move next week! 

  30. Hello, my lovely friend. My life right now is a whirlwind filled with senior graduations, *sob* graduation parties, senior trips, vacations and all the rest of the nonsense that makes up a life. So, I’m very sorry for my lengthy absence, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think of you often, especially when you’re moaning about soccer. Gurrrl, I am there with you. I have no love for it, but we do what we have to do, right? 

    But when I saw your tweet, I had to come over. Congratulations. Your home is beautiful. And now you can fill it with custom colored walls, the energy of three boys, and the good juju that exists when a happy family lives in a home. Just hide the Gorilla Glue! Congratulations, again. 

    • I see all your busy-ness on facebook! 😉 

      The gorilla glue will NOT be making the trip with us. And is forever banned from our home. 

  32. Congratulations Shell! That coming home feeling is awesome, and the house is lovely. And I know exactly what you mean. Our house is grand by no means, but when I walked in the front door I knew it was where we were supposed to be.

    • Yes, exactly! This house is considerably smaller than where we live now, but it felt right where the one we’re in now never has. I’m happy to give up the extra space for a place that feels right. 

  34. I am so so very happy for you! How super exciting and I love the yard and it looks like you have a nice backyard… How PERFECT! God is so good and faithful 🙂 

    • There is a nice big backyard! That we’ll fence so I feel safer about letting the kids just run outside(not that it’s dangerous- I’m just a paranoid freak) but that’s all the changes I want to make! 

  35. The house is beautiful!! Congratulations!! I’m still looking for my forever home but I know what you mean about the wandering from home to home until you find your forever one.

    Good luck with the move and enjoy your new HOME 🙂

  36. What a pretty house! I wish you a home filled with love, laughter, and no hidden “surprises” when you move in. You know, like the lovely earwig infestation we had in our sunroom! LOL!

    • Oh, ick! 

      Though we had a SNAKE in our kitchen a few weeks ago. Three foot long beast. That I tried to catch. And failed because it was too long to fit under the storage container I threw over it. I tease my husband that the snake was what made him finally decide it was time to move. 

  37. Congrats! What a beautiful home. It will be chaotic, but you’ll find so much joy in making it your own. So happy for you and your family!

  39. When we moved into our home it was about 2 miles away from our old house and it was still a move…HARD! But oh so worth it! So happy for you!
    Sandy

    • Oh for sure. Any move is rough because you have to move everything from one place to the next- the short distance doesn’t really make it easier! But we’re very excited! 

  40. Congratulations! We are starting to think we may need to move in a few years BECAUSE of schools and we on occasion veer off into another direction so I know the questions from the kids. That being said we’ve been here 7 years and it IS home for us. I can’t imagine not having that feeling for such a long time. Yay for you and your family!

    • It has been rough to constantly feel like we were waiting to find our real home. 

      Around here, people move all the time so there’s no big thing about “new kids” but still- we’re so happy with these schools, we didn’t want to risk moving elsewhere. 

  41. Oh wow, congrats!
    My husband just brought up moving, and I’m scared.
    Scared of all the work, but mostly scared of leaving this house I’ve known for 10+ years!

  42. Oh that’s fantastic, congratulations! I felt similarly when we looked at our house. I could not shake it. It seemed like the best house for us.

  45. I am so excited for you!   I love your house and I am glad that you will have the time there to make it a home. 

  46. Enjoy your new house – it is beautiful!! I remember moving in to our first house six years ago. The house before, was “his” house, but this one is “ours”. It was surreal for quite a while. I felt like a guest in my own home. But then you spill your first drink on the floor, and put the first hand print on the wall, and you realize you are leaving your mark. And it is good.

  49. Yea!!! So happy for you!!  Looks like an awesome house!   We are just renting as yea we just never know how long we will be somewhere at this point.. I dream of buying a home again as that means we will know we will be there long enough to make it worth it.
      Good luck with the move. 

  53. How exciting for you and your family. Now you get to settle in and plant those roots. So excited for you!!!

  54. wow, you bought a house a month ago and you’re going to move right in?
    We bought a house last November and I shit you not, we’re not in it yet….June 21st is out deadline, but it’s taken up this long to get it all fixed up to our-er my-specifications…

    Good luck moving babe

    • Um, yeah- we moved- and then I got behind on everything, as you can tell by me just replying to this now. 

      They do pretty fast turn around on most houses around here. They’re used to it with all the military around. We found this one beginning of May, put in an offer the second week of May, did a little bargaining back and forth, then closed end of May, moved in June 1. It was all really fast. 

  55. I LOVE this post!  I have been going through the same thing for the past 4 years while living in my inlaws basement.  It has been brutal.  Every time we put on offer in on a house, it always fell through.  But today we signed the papers and we are now the owners of my dream house!  It isn’t anything big or fancy, but it is exactly what I have been looking for.  Best feeling ever, isn’t it?!

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