You hope you’ll be the cool mom in the neighborhood and be the house where all the kids want to hang out.
Cool has never been a word anyone would use to describe me. Though lots of kids hang out here, but it’s all because I have awesome kids(and probably because they have fun toys and it practically seems like a non stop play date here anyway, since I have three boys running around to begin with).
So I’m not the cool mom, I’m the mean one.
If you want to ride one of my boys’ bikes or scooters, you must wear a helmet. I don’t care if your parents don’t make you wear one(even if it is a LAW in NC and probably in your state, too), then you ride your own bike or scooter if you aren’t putting on a helmet.
You can jump on our trampoline, but only if one of my kids is out there. If I call my kids to come in, you have to go.
Speaking of the trampoline, you can not have wrestling matches or any sort of battle where you’re knocking into each other on it.
Get out of the street if a car is coming. Move, kid!
If you aren’t playing with the child who lives in that house, don’t play in that neighbor’s yard.
No, you can’t ride my youngest’s crazy kart. It’s tricky to learn to drive and he’s not allowed on it without an adult present. I’m not comfortable with anyone else on it. You could hurt yourself, break the cart, or destroy another neighbor’s property with it.
I will say no to popsicles or juice boxes or whatever other treat you send my child inside to ask for when you just knocked on our door two minutes ago to ask him to come out. It feels like you only asked him so you could get a treat. (None of the kids who do this are ones who don’t have enough to eat, this is just about wanting treats).
I’ll also say no to you trampling through my house to use the bathroom. You can see your house from mine, go use your own.
I’m immune to your puppy eyes when I’m loading my own kids up to go somewhere fun. I can’t take everyone else with me, too.
I am the cranky old lady on our street. Maybe I should agree when my husband talks about moving to the middle of nowhere.
It’s a good thing my kids are fun enough to compensate for my grumpiness.