One of my roommates in college used to keep a running list of the crazy things that our parents would do: a list she called “Things I’ll Never Do as a Mom.”
I don’t really remember what was on that list, other than vague memories of things like not calling our daughters fat or calling some boy a boyfriend in front of him unless he’s been introduced that way.
Oh, and never send your daughter flowers on Valentine’s Day, pretending to be a secret admirer.
Whatever it was that was irritating us as young adults that we thought we’d never do to our college kids.
But what about our younger kids?
Is there something your parents did that you definitely don’t want to repeat with yours?
Growing up, we weren’t allowed to have any sugar. No Cheerios for us because there was a single gram of sugar per serving. It was way too extreme and when we could sneak sugary treats, we went way overboard. So with my own, we don’t make those foods forbidden: my kids know they are treats.
Something else that sticks out for me was the tradition of everyone getting a gift, no matter whose birthday it was. In some sort of effort to diffuse sibling rivalry, my siblings would get a present on my birthday and I’d get one on theirs. But it made each birthday be about what the others were getting and not about the birthday child. Here, for the birthday child’s day- it’s HIS day. He gets the presents and gets the choice of what to do, what kind of cake, etc. It’s his special day. And each child knows that he gets his own day.
But what I remember violently hating as a teenager was waking up hearing my mom talking about me on the phone to one of her friends. Things I thought were none of her business or at the very least, none of her friend’s business. And then some weren’t even true- they were just what she thought was going on. So, I thought I’d respect my kids’ privacy more. And yet here I am, writing this blog… two out of three ain’t bad?