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April 29, 2014 by: Shell

Expectations and Confidence: Pour Your Heart Out

My five year old operates under the assumption that everyone adores him. That everyone wants to be his friend and everyone wants to be around him all the time.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a friend of one of his older brothers’, someone who is a few years older than he is. Or the son or daughter of one of our friends- a child in middle school or high school. It can even be friends of ours.

He just expects that spending time with him(or even following his lead) is what everyone wants to do.

His confidence is off the charts. He’s cute, he’s funny, he’s smart, he’s sweet… why wouldn’t you want to be his good friend?

first day

And the funny thing is that because this is how he expects to be treated, it’s how he is treated.

It makes me think there is something to the idea that others treat you how you teach them to treat you.

And that confidence is a powerful thing.

Add this to the list of things my kids teach me.

Do you think there’s something to being treated the way you expect to be treated? What have your kids taught you?

LAST WEEK’S #PYHO HIGHLIGHTS

  • I’m Giving Up Blogging from Writing, Wishing
  • I’m Afraid of My Own Success from Frankly, My Dear
  • Outside My Safe Window from From Tracie

JOIN IN POUR YOUR HEART OUT

pour your heart outClick if you want to find out more about Pour Your Heart Out. Remember, it’s about what you want to pour out: it’s personal, so there isn’t an assigned topic. It’s also about being supportive of others who are sharing: so visit other linkers and be kind with your comments. Linking up? Please visit at least two of the linkers and show them some support in the form of a comment or a share!


Things I Can’t Say
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Comments

  1. Alison says

    April 29, 2014 at 10:25 pm

    I love children’s confidence. My youngest, although only 2, already knows the powers of his charms. Everyone loves him, everyone wants to say hello to him. You get back what you give out, right?

    (thank you for the highlight!)

  2. Melissa says

    April 29, 2014 at 10:45 pm

    How interesting. I think you are right – if you treat everyone nicely, you’re going to get it back. 

  3. Anna Hettick says

    April 29, 2014 at 11:17 pm

    I can see this in my kids as well, not exactly the same characteristics but that they are treated the way they think the should be treated. I have been struggling with being more aware of my tone and trying not to get so frustrated so easily. On the days when I feel like I do pretty good everyone is a lot happier at bedtime. I hope that my kids can learn to be confident in the who they are. 🙂

  4. cyndy says

    April 29, 2014 at 11:32 pm

    I have somehow managed to raise three very confident children.  I was quite the opposite but I was determined that my kids would not have low self esteem like I did and WOW did I succeed.  LOL  My kids are not arrogant but they simply know that they are awesome, smart, friendly, kind, incredible people.  They blow me away.  ANYWAY, because they know they’re great, other people seem to accept it as fact and almost everyone they encounter will agree that they are awesome.  So yeah – definitely something to that theory!

  5. Veronica Spriggs says

    April 30, 2014 at 2:06 am

    he is adorably cute. i hope he keeps that confidence for years and years to come!

  6. Molly Jo at Frankly, My Dear . . . says

    April 30, 2014 at 2:13 am

    How very true! Our kids teach us so much. You are right, we often get what we expect.

  7. Robin (Masshole Mommy) says

    April 30, 2014 at 6:55 am

    My six year old is kind of the same way.  And my guy is so cute & charming, that everyone actually does gravitate towards him.

  8. Julia says

    April 30, 2014 at 7:41 am

    I love that about kids, they are so confident and willing to talk to and play with anyone. 

  9. Carly Bellard says

    April 30, 2014 at 7:44 am

    My daughter calls everyone she meets a friend- but when we are around 50% of them she won’t talk to them… Go figure! Great story!

  10. Tiffany (Fabulous Mom Blog) says

    April 30, 2014 at 7:57 am

    I think it’s great that your son has so much confidence. I’ve been trying to build my 6-year old up for years, she’s finally coming around and his more confidant than before, but it still takes time. My youngest is confidant, he’s the opposite of his big sister. I like how all kids are unique in their own ways. Your son is a cutie pie.

  11. Christie says

    April 30, 2014 at 9:18 am

    Both my kids are more timid, but I love watching their confidence shine through every now and then. Great story about your little 🙂

  12. Lisa Joy Thompson says

    April 30, 2014 at 9:32 am

    I totally agree!  I think that confidence is so huge and that it can totally make the difference in how people perceive you and how people treat you!  It’s great that you son is so confident!

  13. Emmy says

    April 30, 2014 at 9:41 am

    That is so awesome and I so hope he keeps that gift.  My Alex is the same way, it really is amazing to watch how easily so many things happen for her.  As a parent I struggle with helping her keep that confidence but also remain humble.  

  14. Rachee says

    April 30, 2014 at 9:48 am

    My teen does this thing where she will look in the mirror and say, “I look good today” or “I am so attractive.” Sometimes she is joking but mostly she is being confident about the way she looks and feels. I love that she is confident and feeling so strong about herself. I applaud your little one and hope that he keeps that positive feeling especially when people try to beat it out of him. 

  15. Jenn says

    April 30, 2014 at 11:12 am

    Confidence is a great thing! I’ll have to work hard to instill it into mine since they are not confident by nature.

  16. Southern Angel says

    April 30, 2014 at 11:13 am

    I think it is awesome that he is that confident and people are drawn to him. I absolutely do believe you lead how people treat you in how you act around them.. and I am going to have a mini hissy fit now because you had disappeared from my feed and I thought you were lost forever.. I am trying to find you on Bloglovin to get you back on my list where you belong.. grrrr

  17. Susi says

    April 30, 2014 at 11:19 am

    Sounds very much like my youngest, also 5 years old. She has so much confidence and I only wish I had a little of it some days! 🙂

  18. Christina Gomez says

    April 30, 2014 at 12:04 pm

    My 4 year old is the exact same way! I find myself telling her, “Mia Grace, remember sometimes the “big girls” in our neighborhood just want to be alone” and no sooner are those words coming out of mouth, than one of them is knocking on our door to see if she can play! 🙂 I can definitely learn a thing or two from her confidence and outgoing personality because I’m such a shy person. Your son is precious!!! 🙂

  19. Lindsey @ Redhead Baby Mama says

    April 30, 2014 at 12:39 pm

    When I was in high school i overheard my mom watching Dr. Phil. One of his biggest philosophies is that you TEACH people how to treat you. It’s true!

  20. Jennifer Hall says

    April 30, 2014 at 12:47 pm

    That’s wonderful! I think my son is like that. My daughter…..maybe she’ll get there. I hope she does!

  21. susan says

    April 30, 2014 at 1:03 pm

    I fully believe if you treat others nice, you will be treated nice back. I try to teach this to my daughter and show her every day.

  22. Natalie says

    April 30, 2014 at 1:52 pm

    That’s a wise boy you’ve got right there! 🙂 

  23. Krystal says

    April 30, 2014 at 2:16 pm

    My son is a little confident too! He is only two but he walks up to everyone and gives hugs and kisses. It’s sweet.

  24. Jessica (Savory Experiments) says

    April 30, 2014 at 2:20 pm

    He is a handsome little boy! I don’t have kids, but I know my parents taught me to act how I want to be treated, confidence, but not arrogance.  In other words- I sometimes won, I sometimes lost and didn’t have to be the best at everything, but I was also assured that I was good at many things. 

  25. Dina says

    April 30, 2014 at 3:03 pm

    I love that about him. My daugter was that way. She’s got great self esteem still today at 8.

  26. Roxanne says

    April 30, 2014 at 3:36 pm

    What a great reminder to treat people how we want to be treated. Others are influenced by our attitude and our behavior. Your sweet boy is proof of that.

  27. Isabella Grey says

    April 30, 2014 at 4:14 pm

    I wish I had that kind of confidence as a kid! I was always too shy to go outside, haha.

  28. Katy Rawson says

    April 30, 2014 at 4:19 pm

    My mom often says that people treat us the way we have taught them to. Usually if we are griping about some abused ‘friend’ or someone else. I do agree with this. If we show people what we expect, that’s what we will get.

  29. Liz Mays says

    April 30, 2014 at 5:40 pm

    I totally envy him that type of confidence. That’s awesome to have that! 

  30. Diannedi says

    April 30, 2014 at 6:10 pm

    Such a wonderful little boy. I love his confidence. My four year old is similar to your son. He loves people and being around them. 

  31. Meagan says

    April 30, 2014 at 6:13 pm

    First of all, your son is a cutie! I’m always amazed just how much I learn from my 18 month old son – he teaches me to always be happy no matter the circumstances! 

  32. valmg @ Mom Knows It All says

    April 30, 2014 at 6:44 pm

    Your son is cute! I was not confident as a teen. my oldest is very confident about some things.

  33. Jenn @ The Rebel Chick says

    April 30, 2014 at 6:45 pm

    Isn’t it funny how at early ages many children are confident and almost fearless. Somewhere along the way it changes and they lose that innocence. It’s a shame.

  34. Amber says

    April 30, 2014 at 6:51 pm

    Very cute! My daughter is the same way. She’ll talk to anyone, and assume that they want to play with her. Even if they are teenagers. 

  35. Keikilani says

    April 30, 2014 at 7:35 pm

    I have 3 boys. And although they are each very different they are all pretty outgoing. Sounded like you described my oldest in your post. 😉

  36. JDaniel4's Mom says

    April 30, 2014 at 10:25 pm

    I really like the way he looks at things! His confidence certainly draws people to him.

  37. Jenni E. {Sweet Pennies from Heaven} says

    April 30, 2014 at 10:30 pm

    That’s pretty awesome!! I think maybe some adults should think like he does.

  38. Chrysa says

    May 1, 2014 at 12:15 am

    Yes! I definitely agree with the treating others as you want to be treated.  What a great kid!

  39. Jenna // A Mama Collective says

    May 1, 2014 at 12:37 am

    This is so good, Shell. I love it! I need this, especially in my work life. I let people walk all over me because I don’t have as much confidence in that environment. But every time they do so, I feel like shit. I’m sick of feeling that way. I want to be confident just like your {baby} boy 😉 Thank you for reminding me of that incredible truth. ~Jenna // A Mama Collective

  40. Veronica says

    May 1, 2014 at 12:57 am

    Great post! I think it is better to treat people better than you expect to be treated. they will treat you better too

  41. Tracey says

    May 1, 2014 at 11:58 am

    I love the confidence children have. It reminds me to find that confidence in myself!

  42. Jess says

    May 1, 2014 at 12:41 pm

    I love this– thanks for speaking your mind. 

  43. Candy @ Candypolooza says

    May 1, 2014 at 3:14 pm

    Love this post! My son knows the golden rule. Treat others as you would want to be treated. Sometimes they are nice, sometimes they are mean but it doesn’t stop him from being kind.

  44. Camesha says

    May 1, 2014 at 3:51 pm

    This couldn’t be more true or more timely! I just wrote a post about my daughter teaching me the art of negotiation. More and more, my kids are teaching me how to follow my dreams. 🙂

  45. Joanna Sormunen says

    May 1, 2014 at 4:05 pm

    He reminds me of my son at that age. They do expect to be the center of the world, lol. But it is true, if you expect the people to treat you well, in most cases they do it.

  46. Toni says

    May 1, 2014 at 4:10 pm

    I love that he expects to be treated that way 🙂 .  I definitely think there is something about how you carry yourself and value yourself as to how others treat you.

  47. Amanda Her says

    May 1, 2014 at 7:58 pm

    Confidence in young kids is a wonderful thing!  He’ll grow up to be sure of himself and that will take him far.

  48. mommy2jam says

    May 1, 2014 at 9:36 pm

    YOUR son is so cute!!! I love it. Confidence goes a long way 

  49. Chelsea says

    May 2, 2014 at 12:36 pm

    Your son looks like he is just radiating good vibes. So cute! I think it’s wonderful that he has this outlook on things. More of us need confidence.

  50. Marina says

    May 2, 2014 at 1:27 pm

    I’ve been learning to be more forgiving and quick to forgive, thanks to my 3 year old’s example 🙂

  51. Rorybore says

    May 2, 2014 at 3:01 pm

    I absolutely believe we teach people how to treat us. My daughter is much like your son, and she is very popular in her class. Parents comment to me on her confidence — how they as adults are not half as confident as she is at 7 years. But my son is exactly the opposite — and he has a very hard time at school. He’s extremely sensitive and always kind. Some boys take advantage of that – which is not his fault, you just can’t prevent some people from being jerks. But, if he stood up for himself and worried less about pleasing them; they wouldn’t make him a target. That would never happen with his sister — no one dare risk her disdain! LOL

  52. Rach (DonutsMama) says

    May 5, 2014 at 9:39 pm

    I’ve learned a lot about confidence through my kid. I also love the way she can let things go. If someone doesn’t want to play with her, she just shrugs it off and goes and finds something else to do. I love how they can bounce back.

Welcome to Things I Can't Say: Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom. I'm Shell. Boy mom, beach girl, bookworm, ball games, baker, brand ambassador, Thinking yoga, food, and travel should start with "b," too. Finding the easiest way to do some things while overthinking so many others. Read More…

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