Danielle is the crazy momma of 4 behind Busy Mom’s Helper, where she shares all her adventures. Married to her best friend & fellow nerd. Totally addicted to Dr. Pepper and chocolate. Staying home with the kiddos keeps her busy, but she loves squeezing in time to create through the ups & downs of life . Now, if she could just figure out how to eat a candy bar without having to share, life would be even more fabulous! Be sure to join the fun at BusyMomsHelper.com
As I’ve gotten older and matured in my life, I’m better able to recognize my (many) flaws, and can strive to improve. I don’t think I’m alone in this, or at least hope I’m not. I’m not going to list ALL my flaws, but one of my biggest that I’ve realized is one that, I believe, most of us women struggle with. Perhaps it’s just human-nature, perhaps it’s just our natural tendencies…..maybe even a way of coping. Whatever the reason, Women Need To Stop Judging!
Like I said, I’m right there with y’all in this, big time. I hate that I do it, and it’s almost unconscious. I don’t realize I’m even judging someone else until it’s like ‘wow, Danielle, knock it off RIGHT NOW!’ The more I’ve tried to pay attention to this issue, the more I’ve noticed.
• At the pool, I judge the moms who put a floaty on their 3-year-old then turn their back so they can chat with other moms.
• At the pool, I get funny looks from others judging me because it may have been a couple days since I shaved my legs.
• At the grocery store, I get plenty of disapproving looks as I push/drag my kids through the aisles, sometimes kicking and screaming. There may be spills that occur that also incur judgment from the employees who have to assist.
• I find myself judging others in the neighborhood who let their young kids run around screaming into the late hours of the night.
• I’m terrible for judging parents who spoil their children to the point of snotty-ness and entitlement.
• I’ve been judged for being a bit stricter with my kids and our rules, sometimes grounding my oldest for lying or breaking rules too many times.
• I’ve been known to unconsciously judge family and friends who are struggling for money, complain all the time about it, yet spend it like crazy on pointless and definitely-not-a-need items or meals.
• Some have judged me for how frugal we are with money, saying no too many outing opportunities and date nights for the sake of getting out of debt and saving.
Through my time trying to overcome this nasty flaw of mine, and speaking to other women, I’ve noticed that we often judge others in aspects that we secretly feel we struggle with. For example, moms always worry about their parenting, so we tend to judge those who do it differently than us. I’m trying hard to be financially smart and sacrifice a lot so we can improve our situation, so I judge others who spend it on whatever they want.
We, as women, need to try our best to love and accept each other despite the things we do differently. Yes, maybe the parents not watching their toddler child in the pool aren’t in the right, but overall we need to just do our best. Whether it’s jealousy that causes us to be so judgmental, a sense of competition, or simply some flaw us women were given to have something to overcome within ourselves, it’s a huge issue.
I’m so far from perfect it’s laughable (again, the shaving the legs only every few days, or sometimes not brushing my teeth because I’m too dang tired and busy), but I think as long as I’m doing my best to overcome my flaws, it’s an improvement. No, I’ll probably never be fully judgment-free, but I’m okay with that. I’m willing to slowly but surely work on this my whole life. If I judge one less person then BOO-YAH, ladies, that’s a good day! One day at a time, right? So who’s with me?!