Things I Can't Say

Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom

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October 4, 2013 by: Shell

What She Can’t Say

things they can't sayAbout Vi: I’m a 28 year old mom of two crazy girls over here! I’m married to an amazing man, who cooks and takes care of the kids, while I suffer through Medical School.  My blog, Confessions of a Vi3tbabe, houses book reviews, lifestyle posts, and family updates I like to share with the world.

I thought it was rather funny to discuss this topic since Shell’s blog is titled “Things I Can’t Say”.

I’ve been with my husband for over ten years now, having been married for six of those years. I love him to pieces! One of the little quirks of our relationship is the fact that we never call each other by our names. That’s right, we CAN’T say each other’s names! This goes for when we say “Hi!”, try to get each other’s attention, or just acknowledge each other in any way. Instead, we’re heavy on terms of endearment, especially “babe” or “hun”. I even throw in a “Hi, husband!” and he counters with a “Hi, wife!” every now and then just to mix it up.

family

Sure, when we talk to others, we sometimes refer to each other by name, but even then it’s a rarity, even more so for him as he just refers to me as “my wife”. Even if we’re in a crowded store and I have to holler at the dude from across a sea of people, my first instinct is to yell “Babe!!!!!”.  And then when he doesn’t hear me and people stare at me like I’m crazy, I realize I better yell his name the second time around for good measure.

Once in awhile, we bring this topic up, joke about it, and then we try to go through the motions of calling each other by our names and boy, does that leave a bad taste in our mouths! It just feels so weird, which is a bit ridiculous because it’s our own names and we have no problems with anyone else calling us by our names. But for us to say it to each other, it just doesn’t feel right; foreign, almost.

So, yes, I can’t say my husband’s name and vice versa.

I honestly don’t remember a time when we used our names. Maybe when we first started “talking” to each other and dating, I mean, we were friends before we dated. But we’ve been building this habit for so long and it doesn’t look like we’re stopping any time soon. Whether we’re acknowledging each other lovingly or screaming our heads off at each other, names just never come into the picture.

Either way, that’s how we do it, we love it, and we’re sticking to it!

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Comments

  1. Marta says

    October 4, 2013 at 9:21 am

    My husband and I do the exact same thing. Whenever he calls me by my first name I’m really confused and it just feels wrong!! I completely know what you mean!

    • Vivian says

      October 8, 2013 at 9:47 pm

      Whew! I swear, I thought we were the only ones, lol. Glad to know other couples are like that, too.

  2. Julia says

    October 4, 2013 at 9:51 am

    That’s really cute that you use pet names with each other regularly.

    • Vivian says

      October 8, 2013 at 9:48 pm

      Lol, thank you! We just can’t call each other anything else! 

  3. Marjorie says

    October 4, 2013 at 10:23 am

    My hubs and I hardly ever use names either, but I have never really thought about it before.  Funny!

    • Vivian says

      October 8, 2013 at 9:49 pm

      Haha, yeah, it just comes naturally, doesn’t it? I love it when we joke about it from time to time, too. He’s the best!

  4. JDaniel4's Mom says

    October 4, 2013 at 1:51 pm

    I tend to call my husband Honey, but I do call him by his name.

    • Vivian says

      October 8, 2013 at 9:49 pm

      That’s good that both options work for you! Thanks for stopping by!

  5. Amber says

    October 4, 2013 at 3:47 pm

    I call my husband by his pet name. He calls me Amber Geez a lot. Because apparently a lot of what I say or do confounds him. 

    • Vivian says

      October 8, 2013 at 9:50 pm

      LMAO! That is too funny!

  6. Amy @ Book Loving Mom says

    October 5, 2013 at 8:36 am

    This post is really funny because me and my hubs don’t use each others names either. We have also been together for 10 years and I don’t remember a time when we referred to each other by name. Even when we first started dating everyone called him by his last name so that’s what I used, then it quickly changed to babe or hon. It’s so funny how that happens. It really does feel odd to refer to him by name now.

    • Vivian says

      October 8, 2013 at 9:51 pm

      AMY!!!!! So happy you followed me here, lol. I heart you so much! OMG! I swear, this is why we click. That’s so cool that you’ve been w/your hubby for 10 yrs, too. You guys are awesome! You know exactly how I feel & I love that! Tackle hugs!

  7. Teresa says

    October 5, 2013 at 6:29 pm

    We’re the exact opposite. I can’t bring myself to call him anything BUT his name. I’ve never been able to do the whole pet name thing. I just feel so awkward calling him “babe” or “honey” or anything like that.

    • Vivian says

      October 8, 2013 at 9:52 pm

      Haha, that’s interesting. Yeah, I def feel awkward calling him pet names in public, especially in a crowded area, but it’s so natural, I always forget to call him by his name, lol.

  8. cyndy says

    October 6, 2013 at 10:32 pm

    We do the same thing!  And the other day he called me by name for the first time I can remember, and I honestly thought he was mad at me.  He wasn’t, it just came out of nowhere.  With us it’s usually Baby or Baby Love.

    • Vivian says

      October 8, 2013 at 9:53 pm

      Lol, that’s hilarious!

  9. Kimberly says

    October 12, 2013 at 2:53 pm

    That’s funny! We once in a while will use each other’s names, like if we are trying to get each other’s attention or something, but it always feels weird. 🙂

Welcome to Things I Can't Say: Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom. I'm Shell. Boy mom, beach girl, bookworm, ball games, baker, brand ambassador, Thinking yoga, food, and travel should start with "b," too. Finding the easiest way to do some things while overthinking so many others. Read More…

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