Lea Grover is a writer and toddler-wrangler living on Chicago’s South Side. When she isn’t cultivating an impressive dust bunny collection she waxes philosophic about raising interfaith children, marriage after a terminal cancer diagnosis, and vegetarian cooking. Her blog, Becoming SuperMommy, won second runner up in Blogger Idol.
Sometimes it’s hard to be friends with somebody you’ve known your whole life. You always see them to a certain extent as a child- the child you knew when you were small. And then, when one day you’re grown and something causes a rift to grow between you… you’re not just losing a friend. You’re losing dozens of friends. The person you knew at Girl Scout Camp, and the person you made prank phone calls with in middle school, the person you practiced makeup with, the person you perfected Care Bear Stares with in a muddy back yard.
You don’t just lose the friend you had last, you lose all of them.
I know what it’s like to lose those friends, and to have no control. To have no choice about when and how the things that held you together fall apart. And I know what it’s like to wish to God you could say something, anything, to change it.
And I know what it’s like to say the wrong thing when you only have once chance.
I’ve been there. My childhood best friend and I had a stupid fight about my boyfriend at the time that she didn’t like and we have never talked since.
What an interesting book. Losing a friend or growing apart is a very hard thing to go through.
I’ve had a few really big, stupid fights with my best friends. One led to not speaking for a few months. Luckily, we were able to resolve differences and are still friends many years after high school, but there are still a few people I wish I was closer to, as an adult.
I have a few childhood friends I have lost touch with. A lot of my friends I lost touch with just because I moved across the country.
How sad. I can relate, and I’m sure most women can. I lost a friend to addiction and we never could repair the damage.
This one hits right in the heart. There are a couple of those friendships that I look back on and wish I could have mended at the right time and possibly saved. And then there were those that needed to be broken up with, and they aren’t easy either.
My wife has gone through a couple instances like this, and sometimes I think it hurt her more than if they had actually died.
Heartbreaking, but it does help so much to write about it and read about it so we don’t feel alone. Thanks for sharing.
I lost contact with my childhood friend when we moved away. It has been almost 30 years and I still think about her. Thanks for sharing.
Wow. Great words. I’m going to order that book. Going through a friend break up, get back together, break up right now (not addiction just outrageous expectations and a little selfishness). Thanks for sharing.
This sounds like a really emotional book. I have been there and lost a friend before. It’s one of the hardest things.
Over the years I’ve lost a few friends through no choice of my own. Always sad 🙁
Great post. Never leave anything unsaid and never let things go. I had a fight with my best friend over something so ridiculous I can’t even remember it. Our last words were something like, “I hate you!” and “I hate you, too!”. He got hit by a car the next day and died. It’s something that will haunt me to my grave.
I love this post. It’s amazing how things left unsaid can either destroy a friendship or just prevent you from saving one.
It’s definitely hard losing longtime friends. But we’re both not the same people we were 10, 20 or more years ago when we became friends. Things change, ideals change….Some people are constant in your lives and be grateful for that. Other people are transient, but all have some type of impact on our lives.
this sounds like a great book. I am experiencing some what of a strained relationship with my best friend
I think many people could relate to this book. I am sure I could have put a few of my own stories in there!
I think we’ll all be able to relate to these stories. There is nothing more valuable than a good friend and it’s heartbreaking to lose one.
What a heart breaking story. The book sounds like it will be an interesting read.
I’m wondering if anyone has felt that way about me? I’ve recently ended friendships like this. It’s nice to know there is a book with other shares. I feel tissues are in order.
I definitely can relate. I feel like I recycle through friends every so often, it stinks!
I’m sorry about your friend. It is really hard to lose someone who is going in a downward spiral that we cannot help them with…
Love Lea! She is such a great lady and an awesome writer. I can’t wait to read this book! So many great writers.
I only have 1 childhood friend left. We’e been ‘together’ for 35+ years. It’s priceless. I couldn’t imagine a life without her! I’m absolutely going to check this book out!
Such a great sounding book that I think many many people can relate to!
Wow, her emotions just poured forth from her words. That totally makes me want to read the book.
I never thought about it but it is so true. My bff and i had a big fight about 5 year ago. It tore me apart. We mended things, but it’s always there.
I can relate. It is heartbreaking and I will never have the chance to dhange it. to say the things I wish I had said.
Looks like a great book. I recently lost one of my oldest and closest friends, heartbreaking!
Losing a friend is always hard, even if the relationship needed to end. Unfortunately, I think it’s one of those things that happens to everyone and is a true sign of growth. Being able to let go and realize it’s just one of those things that happens as part of life.
I’ve lost contact with friends over the years, more so because we evolved into different places in our life. I’ve been fortunate to have a best friend for over 20 years.
Losing friends is definitely a sad thing. I never thought about it as losing several friends, but rather losing a friends with several memories. I’ll have to check out her blog.
Been there. Sounds like a great book. I’m a funny kind of friend. I don’t deal with BS and I’m not a comforter of stupid. ANyone that is in my inner circle is low maintenance and knows to save their drama for other friends that will deal with it. I’ll walk away very fast…run actually!
It’s so hard. And our stories, though all different, have much the same heart ache. I had SO much fun and shared SO much with the friend I lost, but it was a pretty one-sided relationship. Still hard to let to though. Thank you for sharing your story.