I know I can seem rude.
And like I don’t like you.
And like I want you to leave me alone.
I really don’t mean to be rude.
I do like you.
But I do need you to leave me alone.
Sometimes.
Because we’ve been going and going all day long, talking and doing things and being in very close proximity.
And at this point in the day, I am done.
I’ve tried to explain that I’m an introvert.
My personal heaven: a quiet afternoon on the beach, no need to talk to anyone.
That I can only take so much of the talking and the interaction before I just need to be quiet, to not have someone so close to me, to just be alone and chill out.
I get it- you’re an extrovert.
In fact, you’re so extroverted that if you took one of those introvert/extrovert tests, your score would show zero introvert tendencies.
You have to be talking to someone all the time.
And you have to physically move closer to whoever you are talking to.
You take it as a personal affront when I stop talking.
When I find something to do, like clean the kitchen(even if that kitchen isn’t mine or doesn’t need cleaned) it’s an excuse to put distance between us.
And when you move close to me when I’m trying to find that space, it stresses me out.
So then I’m not just quiet, I look like I’m running away.
You hear me tell you that I’m an introvert and if you looked for them, you’d see the clear signs that it’s not something I’m making up. But sometimes you dismiss this because you think an introvert is some sort of hermit who never talks to anyone and since I clearly talk to others and do enjoy being around people(for certain amounts of time), you think it’s something I’m making up as an excuse to get away from you, when that’s not it at all.
I can respect that you are an extrovert and I’ll talk and spend a large part of a day with you. I know it stresses you out to not have that interaction.
But can’t we find some sort of balance? Can’t I have my time, too?
It’s not a personal affront to you.
You could be anyone, anyone at all.
It’s really and truly not you.
It’s me.
Introverted me who has taken a step outside her comfort zone to give you some of what you need.
But it needs to go both ways.
My needs needs to be respected, too, even if they don’t make sense to you.
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I have a friend who at least once a year needs to totally retreat from everyone outside of her little world and take some time to process her life by herself. I used to take it very personally. Now I Understand, and only feel slightly annoyed when it happens on my birthday! 😉
I’d love to have that getaway! I have to take little times here and there pretty much every day or I get really overwhelmed.
Great point. I’ve never thought of it that way. I need my time, too. Three cheers for the “extroverted (when required) introverts”! I’m one of them.
I’ve definitely gotten better at being extroverted when the situation requires it. But after a certain amount of time, I have to go back to the quiet.
Yes to all of this. I actually breathed a sigh of relief as I read this. I just spent the weekend at my high school reunion and ohmygosh I’m so exhausted from it!
I bet! Weekends like that are fun, but I feel like I need a week to recover.
I totally understand this. Every word.
I figured you would!
I can relate to this post very well. There are times that one just needs to be alone to think and regenerate. Happy Wednesday!
That time is so needed!
I can end up on overload if I haven’t had some down time.
I still feel like I’m trying to recover from this week. It was fun, but I had no alone time.
Yes. I absolutely get every word of this.
Introverts unite!
Separately. 😉
Yes!!! I am an introvert! I have even had to take the personality tests while taking psychology courses; I was always at least 85%+ introvert on those things. I like to be alone. I will make the effort to socialize (i.e. Husband’s work functions) but when I get too overwhelmed I prefer to just be left alone. Besides, it’s hard to study, read books, and write a novel while always having to carry on conversations.
I’m always like that with those tests, too. I can make myself join in social situations like for my husband’s work or friends or blogging conferences, but after a while, I need to be quiet.
I’m a classic extrovert . . . truly.
But I have those times when I need more “me time.” Right now, I’m salivating over pre-sunrise wakenings on vacation, biking to the beach, running along the beach far enough that I know nobody else is going to stumble across the place, and “just being.” It centers me . . . which fuels me to tell stories for the rest of the day, in my extroverted way.
I get it. I think your me time need is like how I do need to connect with some people and not just be totally on my own. But after that, I’m okay for a while.
This is hard for extroverted me to understand but once I know someone is introverted I totally get it. Does that make sense? I think it may have to do with the fact that I am feeling a bit more introverted as I get older… I hope you get your quiet time. I know it’s needed. xo
Sometimes I feel like I need a sign or button or something to wear around, letting people know I’m an introvert(and not just bitchy or hateful). If they know, they understand(well, except for certain family members of mine who do not get it at all). My husband is extroverted, but some of my introverted tendencies have rubbed off on him as we’ve been together for so long!
I COMPLETEY understand this and this is something I struggle with, too. I’ve had to perfect my “work personality” over the years because being introverted doesn’t go with my profession. I am not shy and I don’t dislike people, but I definitely get my social fix at work. I like quiet time and my own company. My worst nightmare situation is the cocktail hour or anything that is called a “mixer”.
I think my skin just broke out in hives over the word “mixer.”
I, too, have had to develop an extrovert self that I can bring out when the situation calls for it. But that has a time limit(or a people limit) on it and after a while, I go back to the quiet.
Totally yes! I love people are ok with a little quiet between each other 🙂
Yes! That comfortable silence- it’s priceless to find someone you can do that with!
I get this – I am not an introvert, however I have a friend who is an extreme extrovert and as important as it is for to remember that being an extrovert is not a bad thing, she needs to respect others also.
Exactly. Neither is any better or worse than the other, they’re just different and have different needs.
I can totally relate.
I am SO the same way. I don’t mind the silence. This tends to weird some people out. But I just love it. When my husband has to go away for work, I actually look forward to the silence at night.
I don’t mind when mine is gone, either. I miss him, but I’m perfectly content in a silent house.
Thanks for posting this. I agree and identify with a lot of it!
Oh yes, yes, yes. I am an introvert too and I still don’t always respect myself and the space I need and then I collapse. It is hard for non-introverts to understand, I know that. But I wish some would try a little more.
I get this. I just did 2 back to back events where I had to be “on” the entire time. Then I got home and canceled all our weekend plans through Tuesday I just can’t be on all the time, I need time to myself to recharge and refocus.
Well said. I am an introvert, too!
I still struggle with my need to try to force myself to try to be an extrovert. I love that you know who you are! And I love that I found my way back here this week! I am trying to get back into blogging after a LONG absence, and I really enjoyed reading some great posts and getting inspired to keep trying. Glad you are still hosting this linky!! 🙂
For the longest time I thought I was an extrovert. I love people and telling a story and embrace all those share something about yourself moments during courses. I organise parties, dinners and get togethers. I also hibernate every few months. I close my door, ignore my phone and maintain minimal contact outside of work and kid commitments. I can feel my hibernation coming on and I now explain it to my friends. I recharge, I create, I write and then I rejoin restored and ready. Am I an introvert or extrovert? Not sure.
I completely understand and I too have a lot of trouble getting the extroverts in my life to understand why I need alone time every single day. If I’m not allowed time to recharge I shut down and physically cannot interact any longer. I work in a cubicle so there’s zero privacy and people in my face all day long so when I come home I’m exhausted and I cherish my quiet house.
Oh this, this right here sums it all up. I was just trying to tell this to my husband just last night as he’s shuffling me back out the door to go to an arts center member only opening. I cringe just thinking about how crowded and noisy it was (always is). I ended up in a corner with an elderly lady just hugging my purse looking like a jerk.
It’s been so hard with baseball this year! Too many moms wanting to chit chat all the time! Sometimes I wish I was just there by myself watching peacefully. Lol
I can relate to this so much! I love writing about being an introvert on my blog because I feel we’re often misunderstood. I like to socialize, but people are always pointing out how “quiet” I am. Sometimes I don’t even realize I haven’t said anything! haha. It’s definitely nothing against the people I’m with, but that can be hard to explain.
I deal with this struggle often, even with a friend of mine who is more introverted than extroverted. She still gets offended if she doesn’t hear from me for a while or I retreat when I need to. It’s hard to explain, but it’s nice to know I’m not the only one. I’m not a hermit. I’m just introverted.