What happens when our children get older and their stories become more theirs than ours and we can’t blog as freely about them as we used to? Well, it’s nice to still have a place to spill those stories. So, at the request of this week’s guest, this post will remain anonymous. I hope that when my children are grown, I can handle it with the grace that she does.
The right preschool. Tiny jeans that he can button himself. Socks that aren’t too scratchy.
The right lunch. The right friends. The perfect math teacher. The patient baseball coach.
The right test scores. The AP courses. The perfect essay. College acceptance letters across the board.
I thought this was what he needed.
I was wrong.
When my son left for college in the fall, it seemed that my mom badge had been earned. It wasn’t easy, but to have raised a child and nurtured him all the way through high school graduation and into the freshman dorms feels like quite the accomplishment.
That’s what we do, right?
We try to give them every little bit of wisdom, advice, hard-knock lessons and praise they may need to carry themselves through this next chapter of their young adult lives.
And he was SO ready, so amazingly prepared and excited for his future. Truly settled.
He was a good kid, unusually vocal about not drinking, not smoking, not having any interest in any of these teenage rites-of-passage that can drive mothers crazy in the wee hours of the night as they listen for sirens and emergency phone calls.
I thought I was finished.
But then, classes started to get hard… way harder than even the AP high school courses he was so eager to take. Twelve weeks of courses moves by at warp speed when you are falling behind and you don’t grab a safety net. A tutor. A lifeline.
Probation, another chance, a fresh start.
Humbled, but eager to start again he headed back and seemed to be back on track. But it was hard, he was distracted and lost his discipline. The long, slow spiral was too deep this time. He had to come home.
Home. Time to regroup, find a new path, be a bit humble and grow up a bit more.
But why was MY ego bruised? We had raised him to be self-sufficient, be responsible and take responsibility for his actions.
We offered him a safe place to regroup. Since that very first day he has done nothing but impress us with his integrity, honesty, hard work and determination to change his course. He will make it, this is just a bump in the road.
He is resilient.
And apparently, that was what he needed all along.