Things I Can't Say

Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom

Well Then, I’m a Bad Parent, Too


Have you seen this video of a boy “chugging” beer at a Phillies game?

Hopefully the video will still be there when I post this- there’s some sort of fuss about the footage belonging to the Phillies and not being allowed on youtube. Though, if you search youtube, you’ll find all sorts of footage of Phillies games and yet THAT is not being pulled off of there. Hmmm.

Here’s a still image from the video:

He looks like he’s about my Bear’s age, maybe a little younger. So, around four.
What really got my attention about this are the comments that I heard about it.
This boy will grow up to be an alcoholic because his parents are letting him drink at such a young age.

It was the parent’s responsibility to watch their son.

That’s child abuse.

Why aren’t the authorities looking into this?

These parents should be arrested.

Okay, REALLY??????

Now, I could be totally wrong on this, but it looks to me like that bottle is empty. After all, beer costs a lot at ball games, so you don’t set it down unless it’s empty.

But, if it’s not empty…I highly doubt that the parents knew what he was doing.

You don’t hand your kid a beer in public. You wait and do that stuff at home.

Okay, okay, I kid, I kid. It’s hard for me to take this seriously, so my sarcastic side is out in full force right now.

All the negative comments? Be realistic.

Either the bottle is empty or the child snuck a sip when his parents weren’t looking…and probably spit it right back into the bottle- because really- YUCK.

The comments about the parents should have seen it and it never should have happened…oh, really? And you see every single thing that your kid does?

Everything? Don’t limit this to beer-swigging. Anything that they shouldn’t be doing. You see it all?

I remember my middle son grabbed my brother’s fil’s beer at Thanksgiving back when he was 2. He then yelled “YUCK” and turned the bottle upside down to pour all of it out right on my brother’s fil’s mom’s living room floor.

Does that make me a bad mom? Because I was busy nursing my baby in another part of the room when that happened? And we were surrounded by family.

The difference is that my son wasn’t caught on camera for the world to see.

 
If there are parents out there giving their kids beer to chug down…yes, judge them. It’s wrong. Cry foul, have a fit, demand justice.
 
 
But, to just have a moment when you turn your head for a minute and your child does something like that?
 
 
If that makes you a bad parent, well, I’m one, too.

Comments

  1. I caught our son putting grass in my FIL's beer one time when he was a baby. Maybe he was telling my FIL to quit drinking?

    I think people should keep their mouths shut more often.

  2. Heck I gave my kids the bottles to chew on when they were younger than that.

    People need to quit getting caught up in other peoples business esp when they don't know the whole story.

  3. What is it about babies/kids and beer bottles? My kids, even as babies, used to dive for the top of their dad's beer bottle…like the thing had magnetic powers. Did we let them drink it? No! Could this have happened when his attention was diverted? Yup! Did we laugh about it? You bet!

  4. THANK YOU!!! I am sick of everyone thinking they're the perfect parent. Kids are brought into this world to test the boundaries and to try to get away with things. As parents, we catch most of it, but never all of it.

    I remember when I was teaching, so many parents would say "my child would NEVER do something like that" or "we NEVER use that word in our house, so it would NEVER come out of my child's mouth." Of course, then I would have to prove them wrong and walk them through the acceptance stage of grief…yes, your child has faults…doesn't mean you're a bad parent.

    I am so over everyone jumping to these ridiculous conclusions and thinking that they are infallible. Thanks for posting this.

    Does it make me a bad parent b/c I said "only in Philly" when I saw this? Husband is a HUGE fan, so I do it to bother him…bad wifey.

  5. I totally hear what you're saying. One very-late afternoon, one of my friends and I were in her kitchen pouring a glass of wine because it was a Friday…and we sat there and drank our wine and talked and suddenly realized that her 2 year old was missing. While we were pouring, he opened the door to the garage, and went out to ride his bike in the driveway. He went OUT THE DOOR because the mommies were firing up cocktail hour. If anyone else had been there, we probably would've gotten arrested. I'm hoping I don't get arrested after this comment.

  6. We never have beer around so I don't have any beer bottle stories to share. My son does think that my little mini servings of boxed wine are his juice boxes but he hasn't opened it and had a chug.

    I've got mixed feelings. See, I get what you are saying. I've certainly had my kids do stuff when I'm not looking and I fully believe we can't or shouldn't be on top of them for every little thing.

    But I also know that I'm extra vigilant when we are in a crowd situation, for example. And that when I do drink alcohol around my kids- be it at home or out in public- I don't leave my adult beverage unattended so that one of my kids could pick it up. I suppose they could go get an empty wine bottle from the trash but that would take a lot of effort on their part.

    Here's what I think is stupid- news covereage has all these official statements from the Phillies about how they don't condone underage drinking. WELL DUH!

  7. Shell, didn't you know us Philly fans have a reputation? We have to always do somethig to show how bad and shocking we are!

  8. When my girls were young, they would pick up cups and bottles all the time and attempt to drink them. Some people don't have enough other stuff to do so they jump all over other people! You know when you are picking out someone else's faults you don't have to concentrate on your own!

  9. Thanks Shell for letting me know via Twitter that you couldn't comment on one of my posts. Problem fixed! Thanks!!

    I'm a bad Mom too. My youngest likes beer and at times he'll have a sip of hubby's beer. Funny story though.. . . I was at Walmart getting him some cold meds and went to the pharmacy to ask which one was best. She showed be the best one, but I know my son doesn't like grape flavored meds. She then said well give him a chaser of his favorite drink. I giggled and said it was beer. Mind you he's only 4. She giggled with me and said well whatever works. 🙂 Phew! That was a close one!!

  10. I like to think that I see most everything my kids do, but the reality is…nobody does. The second I turn my head my youngest is all up in something she shouldn't be.

    My daughter actually heard my hubby say something about beer last night, and she said, "BEER? That stuff makes you sick!"

  11. Give me a break – it's not like he was a 2-year old smoking 2 packs a day. THAT is something done with intent ~ taking a sip out of an apparently empty bottle not so much a big deal. Until the Brother Bill and Sister Bertha-Better-Than-Yous of the world decide to condemn the parents. Great – got the ol' blood pressure up and running the morning! LOL

  13. I'll take this one step further and would probably tick many off.

    FYI, I don't drink beer (or hardly anything else for that matter). There is never any in my house (and I am not shunning anyone who does). I also don't smoke (and am glad my husband quit exactly 2 years ago).

    With those things said, the only reason I have not imitated my parents way of raising me with alcohol drinking and smoking is 1) the lack of supplies and 2)the amount of education kids receive these days.

    Want to hear how my parents handled it…

    When I was six (my sister 12), my sister opened her big mouth about my dad smoking and how she wanted to smoke. My mom didn't hesitate to light a cigarette and make each of us inhale. It made me sicker than sick and I never had the desire to try it again <—-true story

    as for beer, I was maybe 7 or 8, we were living in Germany and my parents were having a get together with people from Dad's work. Mom had stocked up on a local beer (literally brewed across the field from us) called Bitburger Pills. They were plenty of drinks for kids, but I insisted I wanted beer. After enough nagging, my Mom opened me a bottle of Bitburger Pills and handed it over. I took one BIG sip and spit that shiat right out. That smell and taste stayed with me and it turns my stomach to this day.

  14. Yeah…. I think I'll save my judgment for more serious problems like leaving your baby in a hot car!

    It seems like the people who said all the nasty comments were getting a kick out of feeling like a better parent than someone else!

  15. I had that post about Brady taking a big ol' swig of my margarita. He spit it out, because uh yeah, to a 3 year old, tequila is gross. I'm sure he'll learn to love it, when he's older, but really folks? There are a lot more horrible things in this world than a two year old preteneding to swig a beer. Come on…let's go after the sex offenders, not waste time on this nonsense.

    Beers for everyone…it's on me!

    Lots of yummy love,
    Alex aka Ma, What's For Dinner
    http://www.mawhats4dinner.com

  16. Seriously, people need to calm down. There are much bigger fish to fry than this stupid video. I swear, it's the people who spend the most time pointing fingers whose children grow up to be the biggest deliquents….

  18. My parents did the same thing as Oka's. My dad is a smoker and when my brother's and I were little one of us showed interest in wanting to smoke. So he lit a cigarette for each of us to try. We hacked and never touched them after that. But as a crazy teen I did start smoking only to be "cool". Sadly it let to 15 years of smoking. I don't smoke anymore, but that's another story.

    About a month ago I was out to dinner with my hubs and the kids. I ordered a rum/coke from the bar while waiting for our appetizer. I ran into a friend and we starting catching up and chatting and I didn't notice the waiter bringing me my drink. During the laughter I look over at Little E and he has my drink in his hand and he was sipping it! I couldn't believe it. He looks at me and says " I'm thirsty mommy"! Thankfully we were the only ones who say him do it. I would never let my kids drink my alcoholic drinks but a nosey person wouldn't know that. I guess I'm a bad parent too because I don't have eyes on the back of my head.

  19. Any reasonable human being with kids of their own would I thought have looked at this clip and immediately thought that it was simply a child mischievously exploring while his parents were not looking for a nano second.

    I wish there was so much ready outrage and exposure of the serious crimes being dealt out to children each and every day.

  20. Totally agree. Why do parents go around judging eachother and thinking they're the perfect parent? I'll bet you most of those parents that left judgemental comments well #1 are not even parents or #2 have had things like that happen and maybe don't even know about it. Parenting is hard work and the last thing we need is someone else judging us (moms do enough of that themselves!)

  21. Just a though, but I'm guessing the child who has crazy, irrational, smug, judgmental parents is more likely to grow up and become an alcoholic than the kid in this video … who, as it appreas, is just gnawing on an empty bottle. I mean, really people? Get over yourselves!

    Let's look at the parents reaction first. If they're encouraging the kid to actually drink, then perhaps there is a problem. But, I'm guessing that isn't the case (even if they think it's kind of a cute picture).

    By the way, this is a fantastic idea. I wonder if Baby would find an empty beer bottle a better teether than all the ones I've spent my life savings on at the store … you know, the ones she wants nothing to do with. Okay, I kid.

    I just think these things are ridiculous. There are many, many more serious situations in this world. Let's focus on those, right?

  22. Standing up to clap because *Seriously* this is just a funny thing caught on camera. That kid isn't getting drunk. You're right that it's most likely empty. And I blink, too. You have to let your kids do some things on their own…to learn decision making and consequences and all that. Not that the kid at the ball game fits my logic-he's just tryin to party like his momma 😉

  23. I don't see every thing my kids do. And sometimes…I do see it and just pretend I don't.

    So I guess I can join the Bad Mom club and stop looking for my Mother of the Year certificate to come in the mail.

  24. OMG, the voiceover commentary from the announcers was killing me. Did they TRULY think the child was chugging a beer? First off, if he had been, it surely would have spilled out ALL OVER HIM. Second, seriously? Enough already! We have pictures of my daughter holding Daddy's hands with a cold beer bottle cause it feels good. She's in only a diaper and we're cracking up. 🙂 It's all good!

  25. Oh please. Kids get into stuff that they aren't supposed to all the time. You could be watching them like a hawk and it's still going to happen.

    I think all of us have probably gotten ahold of a drink we weren't supposed to when we were younger. My cousin did. He took a big old swig of my uncle's vodka tonic thinking it was water. You should have seen the look on his face.

    I'm sure those parents didn't go up to the concession stand and order a beer for their kid. People are being ridiculous about it.

  26. I love this post. And I agree with you FULLY. Some people need to just get a life and stop worrying about how others raise their kids. I could understand if they were letting the child chug the beer. But it looks EMPTY to me and all kids have a fascination with beer bottles. I just don't think it's that big of a deal.

  27. I hear you! My son has done this before, I mean really what kid hasn't??? I love how my 4 yr old will say "yeah I drink Daddy's beer."….it happens and all we can do is laugh about it!

  28. My son hasn't done this – but he's 9 months old. I have to wait another few weeks.

    But really? He wants any single thing mommy and daddy have, use, eat or drink. Why would that be different?

    This is why other people freak me out a little…nothing gets thought through anymore. I mean, except by you.

  29. HaHa this is hilarious! I have a picture of myself when i was a baby with a beer in my lap and a cig in my mouth and i didn't grow up to be an alcoholic, let alone smoke. People are so wrapped up in everyone's business these days when they need to be focusing on themselves. I do not hound my child and follow his every move, don't get me wrong he is only 9 months old so i am cautious, but kids need space to explore and figure things out on their own. Just the other day i caught my son eating dog food…am i a bad mom now? I don't think so but I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who would disagree & normally those are the people who children grow up to be socially awkward or rebellious. Just my opinion from experience.

  30. Thank GOD that someone has addressed this! Seriously. People will take a tidbit of something (like this video) and run with it. It's absolutely positively insane to think that this kid was seriously chugging beer!

  31. Middle kiddo managed to sneak a drink out of hubby's beer once. He immediately spit it out. But then Oldest Kiddo went around telling everyone who would listen that his little brother drank beer. It was quite lovely.

    I think people are way too quick to judge and forget that they aren't perfect either.

  32. We all do the best we can with our kids but none of us are perfect. People shouldn't be so judgemental.

  33. Good Lawd, if someone ever caught us on video! All 3 of mine have tried some sort of alcoholic beverage & they all spit it out, well except for the little one & she just ain't right. 🙂

  34. Those poor parents.

    I hope that kid grows up to be a rocket scientist who later wins the Nobel Peace Prize and that in his acceptance speech, he cites that baseball game as the jumping off point toward his genius.

  35. Huh. I posted something just like this recently. Different video, same idea.

    I don't know if the guy next to him is the dad or what, but it seems like he does glance at him while he's got the bottle. Almost as if he's given him the empty bottle to keep him happy for a minute. I don't know if that's necessarily the best idea, either, but hey.

  36. I agree. This has really gotten out of hand. If that parent is like me, I am so engrossed in the ball game, I am not paying attention to the kids. My kids know that there are "adult" drinks but hey they have often been curious. Once my son got curious so I gave him a sip(tiny sip), he thought it was so disgusting he spit it out and said gross. End of discussion , he never asked again. When we make a big deal out of something, kids are more interested because it seems Taboo. Act like its not a big deal and it never becomes a big deal to them.

  37. I agree with you 100% and this was a very well written post!

    Besides which … you couldn't see the label so who's to say it wasn't IBC Root Beer or Sasparilla? I know … it probably wasn't but I wouldn't be inclined to even automatically assume it was beer!

  38. You have a very valid point, Shell. He's just imitating and it's bound to be empty. Now he did probably get a few drops or some backwash though! lol

  39. I remember one time my two year old snuck a taste of my coffee before I put the cream and sugar in it. We were at a restaurant, and I saw her edging toward it with her spoon. My husband and I both watched as she snuck the taste! I've never seen a bigger reaction of yuck on her face. I couldn't blame her. Every time I'd get a cup, I exclaim, "oooh, coffee!" so she wanted to see what the fuss was about. She hasn't made that mistake ever since! LOL!

  40. What's odd is there doesn't even seem to be a parent around! The seat next to him looks empty. And is that grandpa transfixed by the game?

    Anyway – that's funny. The poor parents!

  41. Seriously this whole thing is stupid and blown out of proportion! kids will be kids!

    People need to mind their own business and worry about their own kids!

    I have a blog friend whose son asked once to try a cigar and she used it as a teaching time to show him they are gross and not for kids, so called good adults at his school found out and CPS was called on her!! I mean really?? never even asked her side of the story just jumped to a conclusion.

    I guess I am a "bad" parent also cause if my kid did this because I turned my head and I found out I would laugh, he is little and doesn't know anything is wrong with what he was doing, dang maybe he was thirsty! I will admit to letting my child taste wine because they were drinking sparkling grape juice and they wanted to know how ours was different-fyi they both thought it was gross:)

  42. I think the more you make a big stink about your kids touching things the more they want to do it. I can remember as a kid my dad letting me have a swig because I asked and you know what I am not an alcoholic today because of it. In fact I rarely touch the stuff and I can bet I never asked for another swig!

  43. I guess that makes me a bad parent as well cause it happened to me few times.

    I feel for the poor parents.It would be interesting to have a poll and see how many parents were in the same situation (and how many admit to it).

  44. My dad used to let me take swigs off of his Moosehead beer when I was 3. And I grew up to be fine.

    Ok, ok. So, that's really what's wrong with me. 🙂

    How about that kid in Indonesia who smokes?!?!?!

  45. My 3 yr old grabbed my Malibu and pineapple and got a little drink faster than I could grab it back! So I guess Im a bad parent too. Damn. And here I though I wasnt doing too bad of a job.. haha! Who am I kidding? My kids are gonna be in therapy for quite some time.. LOL

  46. I'd totally leave my thoughts but pretty much everyone else already did for me LOL

  48. My parents did the same thing that Oka's did. I am a smoker now, but I won't get into that. lol However, as far as drinking goes, I didn't touch it until I was almost 21.

    That bottle has to be empty. It's tipped so far back that something would have spilled all over over.

    People need to mind their own damn business and realize that they are not perfect either. There is no such thing as a perfect parent.

  49. Oh to be a perfect parent!

    My oldest daughter was about 18 months when she pulled her dad's beer bottle out of the trash and started tipping it up like she was chugging it. I, being the responsible parent I am, got out my camera and started snapping away. They are some of the most adorable pictures ever.

    She's 19 now and I'm shocked to say, that little episode didn't make her a raging alcoholic. She doesn't even drink. Huh.

  50. YES! THANK YOU!! I totally agree!! (said the mom who's baby has fallen off bed twice in the middle og the night when co sleeping.) BEER tastes horrible!!!

  51. I wrote a post about my little Kamden getting drunk at a wedding. We were not, NOT watching him. It was just crazy busy, and there was a lot going on, and the little sneak was pouring his soda pop into the "cool" toast glasses that people had left a sip or two of champagne in. Before we realized that it wasn't just orange pop in them, he was sick enough to puke.

    Whatever, didn't hurt him. He puked, and slept damn good that afternoon.

    I am a BAD PARENT TOO I guess!

  52. This goes to show you that big brother is everywhere these days! You have to be so careful about EVERYTHING because you never know where it will end up and how it will get all twisted and tangled!

  53. I totally agree with you. I don't think that parents who let their kids drink would do it in such a public place. I think the kids was using an empty bottle or took it while the parents were looking at the game. Heck my nephews do it all the time. I think people need to cut the parents some slack

  55. Yeah I just laugh at the parents posting comments about how awful this kids parents are..any REAL parent knows this stuff happens and it is not that big of a deal.

    I'd be mortified if I were his parent for sure!

    I see you read my bad parent story today – so file me under "My boy pops pills" or "his mom can't count" whatever….

  56. I know there is a picture of me as a child drinking out of a beer can. I turned out just fine and no my parent's are not bad parents.

  57. I have pics of both of my boys drinking out of empty beer bottles. They want to be like mom and dad, and don't care what's inside.

  58. ha! People get so upset & they are only seeing a momentary picture of the event! To me the videos that bug me are the tiny kids being taught & encouraged to dance all sexy cause their parents think it's funny.

  59. I totally agree, it's hard to take this seriously. I cringe at the thought of a camera catching my kids at their worst when I had my back turned, and my kids are good boys, and they don't drink beer. LOL Being a parent is tough, especially in a world where people love to hate!

    BE SURE TO CHECK MY BLOG FOR AN AWARD AND THE REASON WHY I SENT IT TO YOU!

  60. My younger boy had milk allergy when he was little. So I used to give him Coca Cola when we were out walking with the stroller … he was quite happy about that, actually >:)

  61. Looked to me like nobody was really watching him. I would love to see more video..maybe a few minutes later.

    The people who made negative comments, probably weren't even parents.

  62. we used to play with dad's beer bottles all the time when we were younger! I even have a picture of me holding a beer bottle. Not Sure where it is but I know we have it.

    When my Cousin got married in April there were so many cups sitting on the table that one of my cousins little girls grabbed a cup of rum and coke and drank some of it. Of course they noticed right away and took it away, and now it's a funny story at family parties.

  63. You totally hit this right on the head. Like the parents were actually letting him drink beer in public. This has been blown WAY out of proportion!

  64. Couldn't agree more!!! People love to find something to bitch about and criticize others to make them seem superior. It's sad and like you said as parents there is no humanly possible way to know EVERYTHING that your child is doing and/or gotten into.

  65. I like this, Shell. I like what you say. It's true. We miss plenty of stuff our kids do that would horrify us, because it only takes a split second… and I bet you're right about the beer bottle being empty too 🙂

  66. I love the comments about how awful the people in the crowd are. Really? I would never tell a parent in public (or anywhere for that matter) what THEIR child should or shouldn't be doing unless it was life threatening.

    Lydia

  67. I so agree with ya !I mean seriously!!! People are way to much in peoples bussiness!!

  68. I agree, and I would love to see that photo of Jordan with the beer and cigarette! Too funny!

  69. We are all good at pointing fingers and blaming, aren't we? Good thing those judging are perfect.

  70. I loved your argument for this. You are spot on. We can't watch them 24/7 it is an impossible task.

  71. You're a funny girl, Shell. 🙂 This is the first I'm hearing of this. I enjoyed your side of the argument; you crack me up.

    shawna-mygirls.blogspot.com

  72. I am a bad parent and it is because my parents were bad parents…my dad's fave story is about him giving me a chug of cinnamon schnapps and telling me it tasted like Big Red and me frwekaingout when I really tasted it. Did you see the smoking baby?

  73. I remember when this story hit. I had the same thoughts as you.

    Just yesterday, my husband poured us both a beer while I was making dinner. Mine was sitting on the bar in our kitchen. While I was seasoning our chicken, Aiyana took a sip. I did not see it happen. I was standing right there. The bad thing is, she liked it…I am in trouble! I gave her the lecture of kids are not allowed to drink it because it makes them stop growing. All Aiyana wants to do is grow, so I do not think she will be sneaking anymore sips.

  76. I must REALLY be a bad parent then. We are currently living in China, and there is no drinking age. We have a picture of the boys, 10 and 7 at the time, holding a bottle of beer on Victoria Harbour in Hong Kong. We thought it was cute. They didn't actually drink it, but we were pointing out that they COULD have where we are currently living. Also, my 2 year old is always wanting a drink of our beer. So one night, again in China, my husband gave her drink. You should have seen the face she made. That was 4 months ago. She won't go anywhere near them now. Guess the reverse psychology worked on her.
    Mich

  77. Good insights Shell. I thought the attention was mostly unwarranted.

    Since he is a Phillies fan, his right of passage is drinking as a toddler, but at least they don't teach him to vomit on people until he is a teen. Ha–sorry I could not resist the cheap shot at Philly.

  79. Amazing how quick people are to judge when they don't know the circumstances! I agree… the bottle is probably empty and he is being a toddler for pity sakes! =) You are wise to put this out there … to remind us not to judge … =) and mny kids have drunk Henry Weinhert's (sp?) ROOTbeer in a bottle exactly like that one… just sayin… people probably thought I was a horrible mom then too! and it was ROOTbeer! =)

  80. I couldn't agree with you more, I imagine that it was an empty or near empty bottle and it was just one moment caught on camera. People just like to make a fuss! Plus, the Phillies have been having a rough year with fans, so it is getting easy to pick at them! 😉

  81. Excellent post. I totally agree. I'd hate to think of the things that would be caught if there were a "hidden" camera following my kids around all day!