Coreen is a firefighter’s wife, mom of two kids currently in two sports each, corporate career gal, LA Kings fan, red wine drinker and the queen of complicating her life; thus the crazy notion she has the wherewithal to coach her 4 year old daughter’s soccer team. Find her at http://fussypantsandlittlemiss.com
I am my own best and worst critic. I know myself better than anyone. I also delude myself better than anyone. Well, that’s not entirely true. I try to but I still know. I’m smart like that.
So when someone tells me something I already know, it makes me teeter on the brink of batshit crazy. Am I the only one who feels that way? I doubt I am. So I guess the better question is do you ever want to shout at someone to shut the f*#k up when they tell you something that you are obviously already well aware of?
Yeah, I thought so. But we don’t, do we? We smile and nod and agree as our insides boil and our eyes twitch. Shouting would be rude. They are just trying to help. Stating the obvious is always so helpful.
But it’s not, my inner me screams. It’s annoying, none of their business, rude.
But as a mom, I find that I too am guilty of it. Recently, in a mom reminder kind of way, I may have said something that was already obvious and known because my son used a tone with me in his I know response and gave me the look of annoyance no boy should master at 8 years old. And it occurred to me that I’m not the only one who doesn’t need constant reminding of certain things.
In his case, he is notorious for not picking up dirty clothes off the floor and putting them in the laundry and he slacks when it comes to brushing his teeth even though he’s prone to cavities. But me telling him to do these things doesn’t come across as gentle mom reminders.
To him, I’m picking at the scab, poking at something he is already well aware of. Me telling him he should do these things doesn’t make him want to do them. And I get it. Because someone telling me something I already know doesn’t make me race to get it done either.
So, how to do motivate someone without annoyance? How do you let them figure it out, even when you clearly see they are not getting it done? How do you know that they know?
In my case, my hottest hot button is about working out. I know I need to be more consistent, I know that if I really wanted to I’d find the time but I don’t want to get up at 4:30a in the dark and cold and bounce around. I also don’t want to wait until my kids go to bed after 8p and then be too wired to sleep. It sucks that these are my options. But someone telling me what I already know is not motivating.
I am my own best and worst critic. I have a deep and clear understanding of what needs to be done but sometimes, I just can’t get it done. I do not need to be told, reminded, and shamed for that.
Because trust me, I know.