Our autism is a huge collection of Angry Birds stuffed animals, carried around and slept with, even though they’re too numerous to be carried in one trip.
It’s eyes that flicker to mine, but don’t linger.
It’s lots and lots of peanut butter sandwiches.
Sometimes it’s stares and questioning glances.
Our autism is two brothers who watch out for the third.
It’s the third being a defender to the other two, too.
It’s the very best hugs in the world, especially because they aren’t given to just anyone.
Sometimes it’s always being “it” or “the monster” or “the bad guy” in whatever game happens on the playground, as if the otherness is that obvious.
Our autism can be full of sleepless nights or at least really, really late ones.
It’s kicking butt at math, reading, and spelling, even if the physical act of writing is a struggle.
It’s knowing what issues to press and what is a hill I’m not willing to die on.
Sometimes it’s hearing “Why does he do that?”
Our autism is knowing we will answer those who ask out of genuine concern or because they need to know, but that we don’t have to answer every question.
It’s unwavering concentration on Minecraft videos and playing Skylanders even though he beat the game a long time ago.
It’s loving jumping in the waves and fishing at the beach.
Sometimes it’s a really long day.
It’s wishing there was a volume control button on all electronics because they’re all played too loud.
It’s needing to run and jump and not sit still all day.
Our autism is changing and evolving and getting easier(you know, except when it’s still really hard). When the diagnosis first came a few years ago, it was wishing I had a magic wand to be able to make everything better. And while I’d still take that magic wand if someone offered it, I’m not desperately wishing and hoping for it all the time now.
Jess at Four Plus an Angel is asking bloggers to share what your autism looks like, knowing that it varies so much from family to family. While I’ve shared a little before what my son’s autism is like, it continues to change. The only constant being how fiercely I love all three of my boys.
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Teresa says
July 15, 2014 at 9:34 pmAnd it just so happens I kind of wrote just that…this week.
Shell says
July 20, 2014 at 1:17 pmWill be over to read! Was out of town, so I’m catching up!
Teresa says
July 15, 2014 at 9:35 pmAlthough, I think I’m going to do a do-over with more positives.
Shell says
July 20, 2014 at 1:17 pmIt seems it’s easier to write the negative, but it sticks out more in our minds. I’m trying to work on this.
angela says
July 15, 2014 at 10:16 pmI really love that you added the only constant is how much you love all three of them.
🙂
Shell says
July 20, 2014 at 1:19 pmThose are my babies. I love them all so much!
Alison says
July 15, 2014 at 11:33 pmThank you for sharing, Shell. No matter what it looks like for everyone (different), the common thing shared is the great love for these amazing children. I love that.
Shell says
July 20, 2014 at 1:19 pmSo different for all of us. On the spectrum or not, but we love our kids!
Roxanne says
July 16, 2014 at 2:00 amI admire your honesty, Shell. It’s not always easy, but your fierce love for your boys is strong and will help carry you through the tough times.
Shell says
July 20, 2014 at 1:20 pmDefinitely not always easy! Thanks! 🙂
Jessica says
July 16, 2014 at 7:29 amI love this and SO relate to “knowing what issues to press and what is a hill I’m not willing to die on.” I’ve always joked that Ashlyn could be a lawyer, despite her autism she is very good at making her case for everything.
Shell says
July 20, 2014 at 1:20 pmYes! It’s amazing to watch my son try to negotiate. And really, not everything is worth that argument!
Julia says
July 16, 2014 at 7:39 amI love this you put it so beautifully.
Sylvia says
July 16, 2014 at 10:31 amI can relate! 😉
Andrea B (@goodgirlgonered) says
July 16, 2014 at 11:41 amThis is beautiful, Shell. Thank you for sharing a glimpse into your life. xo
Chris Carter says
July 16, 2014 at 2:08 pmThis is absolutely beautiful. What an inspiring post! It needs to be shared so every mom that shares the same journey can be supported and embraced in their passionate purpose and calling! Thank you for so eloquently describing such love.
Shell says
July 20, 2014 at 1:21 pmThanks, Chris. I know we all are dealing with such different issues. I think it helps to get a glimpse into another family.
Amber says
July 16, 2014 at 3:40 pmLove this post and as you know, I understand it since Tommy has autism.
momof12 says
July 16, 2014 at 5:05 pmMan, you just described my life! It does get better, but not always. Nate is 20 now and some days are still super hard.
Sandy
Angie says
July 16, 2014 at 7:22 pmHe is a beautiful child inside and out! What a lovely post Shell. Xoxo
Lisa @ Atypical Familia says
July 16, 2014 at 8:04 pmI love this! And feel the same – especially this “Our autism is changing and evolving and getting easier(you know, except when it’s still really hard). ” Thank you for sharing what your autism looks like!
Nikki says
July 17, 2014 at 12:30 pmAw, what a sweet sweet sweet little face! I don’t have a child with Autism so I can’t relate, but I can send a prayer your way. Blessings to you!
Natalie says
July 17, 2014 at 1:07 pmThanks for sharing your heart as always!
Jill @ Ripped Jeans & Bifocals says
July 19, 2014 at 6:22 pmVery moving. Thank you for sharing. I parent a child from a difficult place and while not exactly the same thing, I can ID with a lot of what was written here. And, oh my word, those eyelashes. Melt, anyone?
Shell says
July 20, 2014 at 1:22 pmHe knows how to use them, too. He bats them up at me and says “You can’t resist the puppy face.” And then I pretty much die laughing.