“Mom, can you read this for me?” my oldest asked me yesterday morning.
Glancing down at what he held in his hands, I saw a piece from his Ninjago Lego set.
“Oh, honey, I’m sorry, but I can’t read that.”
“What? You don’t know how to read Chinese?”
No, I don’t.
There are a lot of things I don’t know.
My boys are still at an age where they do believe Mom and Dad know everything… or at least almost everything… or at least that we know how to google it if we don’t know.
And yet, yesterday afternoon, I had to tell him for the second time in a day that I didn’t know.
I had explained to my two oldest about the tragic killings in Connecticut, realizing that they would most likely hear about it at school and I wanted them to hear it from me first, so I could focus the message on how loved and safe they are and that they shouldn’t be afraid. Even as my mama heart worried, knowing that things like this really can happen anywhere.
I let them ask questions.
My oldest thought for a few minutes and then asked why this happened.
I don’t know.
I will never understand why things like this happen.
There’s so much I just don’t know.
But, this I know:
I know that this is not something easily gotten over: nor should it be.
I know that this is not a time to fight and push our personal political agendas.
I know that the petty worries I had just a few short days ago are just that- petty.
I know that I love my kids with all my heart.
I know that their teachers love them, too.
I know that there are many more good people in this world than ones who would do something like this.
I know that this is the time to show kindness: to our families, our friends, our teachers… and everyone we can.
I know that the most important thing right now is to love each other.
I know that we have to find a way to put one foot in front of another and continue on with our lives, to have our children see that we haven’t given up hope, even as we keep the victims and their families in our thoughts and prayers.