About Julia: Jersey girl, wife and mom sharing my ramblings, insights, highlights, lowlights and occasional bitching about motherhood, at my blog There’s No Wine in Mom.
I picked bad godparents for my son.
For those who aren’t familiar with god parents, in Christian religions parents pick two people to serve as sponsor for their child at baptism. These people are expected to take an interest in the child’s upbringing.
We wanted to pick just the right people. Friends who we thought would appreciate, respect and enjoy the title.
So we picked our best friends. Friends who we had known for years, friends who were the best man in our wedding and my college roommate, friends who were the first people, other than family, to meet Jackson.
We liked the idea of Jackson having these extra-special people in his life. People who we imagined would come over and play with him. We hoped that these people, who mean so much to us, would play an important role in his life.
Sadly we were wrong.
Jack barely knows his godmother. Every invite we have gotten from her in the past 2 years has come with the lovely “please, no kids sorry” attached at the end of it. Sure, she drops a gift off on his birthday or Christmas but she doesn’t spend any time with him. She never asks to see him.
Jack hasn’t seen his godfather in months. He never calls us to hang out and when I call him he always has some excuse or is annoyed that I haven’t called him sooner. He doesn’t send birthday gifts or cards or call to say happy birthday. Our friendship with him has become a one way street.
If I had to ask Jack to identify these two people he wouldn’t be able to. And it makes me sad. Because I choose these people for him and I made a mistake. I made a decision I regret. And I feel bad that he will grow up without the type of godparents I intended for him.
But I know he is lucky. He has grandparents and uncles and aunts who adore him. We have friends who love him, who are happy to have him over and who want him to call them Aunt or Uncle.
And Jack love’s these friends. He asks to go to their houses and to play with their children. He knows their cars and homes and where to find the snacks.
He goes to them easily and gives hugs and kisses. And they love him too.
And I’m thankful. Thankful that even though I didn’t choose the best people to be is god parents; that my son at the age of 2 has managed to choose some pretty awesome people to take their place.
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