Things I Can't Say

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December 7, 2012 by: Shell

Things They Can’t Say: Time Out

Becky Kopitzke is a freelance writer and mom of two young daughters. On her blog, Time Out: Devotions for Moms, Becky examines the ordinary moments and mishaps of family life through the lens of faith—and with a healthy sense of humor.

My closet was ridiculous. “Cluttered” is a mild term—more like a black hole for outdated fashion and dust bunnies. The day I broke down and organized it, I unearthed artifacts from my honeymoon a decade ago—hey, beach sandals?! With Jamaican sand still stuck in the grooves, how nostalgic!

Shelves held neglected totes stuffed with diapers, college sweatshirts, and a gym bag full of yoga gear. I haven’t taken a yoga class since 2003.

“Mom, my nukkie!” My five-year-old discovered her old pacifier tucked in a purse pocket.

“Eeew! Don’t touch that!” I tossed the nuk into a garbage bag slumped on the floor, alongside a stack of clothes for charity.

Roomy clothes—affectionately called my fat pants.

Oh, come on, you know you have them, too. Fat pants, skinny pants—it doesn’t matter what size they are. The point is that they don’t fit anymore. They belong to an old version of the person whose closet they’ve been stashed in for too long.

Since the onset of sleep deprivation and toddler chasing, I shrunk a size or two. It’s temporary, I assume. When my steady diet of kiddie cuisine catches up with me (mac and cheese, yum), I might fit into those old clothes again. So I wavered. Should I keep the fat pants?

Just in case.

I mean, smaller jeans are nice, but they can’t possibly last forever. I might need a contingency plan.

That’s smart, right?

Not really.

Let’s compare my closet to my heart. They’re both hoarding junk. In my closet, it’s the pants. In my heart, it’s fear. Anxiety. Doubts. Selfishness. Stuff that doesn’t fit as well the older and wiser I get. But I hold onto it anyway, just in case it comes in handy someday.

Just in case life gets heavy and I need to cover my butt.

Just in case this whole trusting God thing doesn’t pan out.

As if that could ever happen.

“And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose,” (Romans 8:28).

Plan B is a myth. There is a God in charge of the universe, working on our behalf to weave together all things—happiness and heartache—for our good. Somehow, in the end, his Plan A prevails. I don’t understand it completely, but my job is not so much to know how God works—it’s to know God. Period.

So. Let’s quit stockpiling those back-up plans. Toss the fat pants.

“Sweetie, can you lift this?” I handed my daughter a plastic sack stuffed with clothes. “You can help me load the car.”

“Where are we going?” She dragged the lumpy bag across the hallway. I smiled, grabbed the handles, and squeezed her pink fingers.

“We’re going to heaven someday, my love. But first—to the thrift store. We don’t need this stuff anymore.”

What are you hoarding in your heart today? Will you be brave and let it go?

Please leave Becky some comment love here and then go visit Time Out!

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Comments

  1. Becky Kopitzke says

    December 7, 2012 at 8:48 am

    Thank you, Shell! I’m happy to be here today!

  2. Kim says

    December 7, 2012 at 12:03 pm

    Ha ha! It’s so good to know we are not alone in our bad hbits, and it is especially wonderful to have someone gently nudging us in the right direction. Yes, I have been guilty of hoarding of all kinds. Thanks for the reminder to everywhere when I am cleaning out! Thanks, Becky, and congrats on being here at Shell’s!

    • Becky Kopitzke says

      December 7, 2012 at 2:22 pm

      Love to see your smiling face here, Kim! So you’re a hoarder, too, eh? We’re in good company, I think. 🙂

  3. ilene says

    December 7, 2012 at 4:25 pm

    In my closet it’s the pants. In my heart it’s fear. I so love this and get this. Thank you for the reminder. And so lovely to see you here!

    • Becky Kopitzke says

      December 7, 2012 at 9:21 pm

      Thank you, Ilene! I’m making 2013 my year of decluttering. Want to join me? 🙂

  4. Monica says

    December 7, 2012 at 6:53 pm

    Beautifully written and painfully on point, as always. I think I feel a toe hurting as your words stepped on them in so many ways. 🙂 Thank you for your transparency, Becky. I think I need to go do some “closet cleaning.”

    • Becky Kopitzke says

      December 7, 2012 at 9:28 pm

      I only hope I didn’t damage your honeymoon pedicure! Closet cleaning is in order for us both, Monica. We can tackle it together, across the miles.

  5. Chris Carter says

    December 8, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    Lovely message and very convicting to read and truly think about. My heart needs a good cleaning… as much as my closet! Thanks for being an inspiration! Will definately check out your blog!

    • Becky Kopitzke says

      December 8, 2012 at 9:47 pm

      Thank you for reading, Chris!

  6. Twingle Mommy says

    December 8, 2012 at 5:55 pm

    I’m pretty sure 2/3 of my closets are clothes that I no longer wear but can’t let go of, I keep them just in case. What if I go back to work? I’ll need those clothes right? Forget that they’re out of style and don’t really fit anymore they are still there. I think I need to let go of the what if I return to work so I can truely enjoy being home.

    • Becky Kopitzke says

      December 8, 2012 at 9:49 pm

      Ah…now there’s a “what if” that’s hard to let go of. Then again, if you do go back to work someday, tossing your work clothes now will give you a perfect excuse to buy a new wardrobe down the road. 🙂

  7. Julie says

    December 13, 2012 at 10:53 am

    Just wonderful, as always, Becky!

    Since I share a closet with my husband, it’s oh so much easier to focus on his clutter than my own!
    Ouch…

Welcome to Things I Can't Say: Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom. I'm Shell. Boy mom, beach girl, bookworm, ball games, baker, brand ambassador, Thinking yoga, food, and travel should start with "b," too. Finding the easiest way to do some things while overthinking so many others. Read More…

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