Heather Alexander is a married mother of two who writes tips, solutions and humor on her blog TheMommyhood.com. She also just published her first non-fiction humor book for moms Secrets of The Mommyhood: Everything I wish someone had told me about pregnancy, childbirth and having a baby.
Sometimes I think when they were passing out the mom genes I was in the wrong line. (Maybe I thought it was mom “jeans” and made a break for it! Apparently, I ended up in the yoga pants line.)
I LOVE my kids.
But I need a lot of alone time to function.
The bottom line…I’m not good at being selfless. And motherhood requires a lot of that. When they are really little, it’s non-stop. You get in the mode and just go.
Now, mine are still young, but more independent, which is great. But I find my role as server-of-all-needs, plus maid to an ever-destroyed house really annoying. Perhaps I’ve reached my threshold for the amount of servitude I am willing to put up with. I am struggling to achieve a balance.
I don’t know how single moms do it. Because when there’s no break – it is really hard for me to go the distance: I yell more than I want to. And I find myself working through my kid-related To Do List just to achieve the alone time I desperately need to be sane.
We DO laugh and have fun. I have a great marriage and great relationships with both of my kids. And I am not lazy. But when it comes to all the work involved, I find myself resisting it.
And, there’s pain in the resistance.
I LOVE being mom; I wouldn’t change that for anything. But I do think about other moms and wonder if being selfless comes more easily to them. I wonder if they are truly selfless, secretly selfish and hiding it, or outright owning their selfishness.
Maybe, unlike me, they got in the right line!
How do you feel about the work you do as a mom, and how do you fix it when things get out of whack and you do not have a good balance?