Things I Can't Say

Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom

Things They Can’t Say: The Adventures of Daddy Runs a Lot

In the almost 18 months that I’ve had a Friday guest, I’ve only featured one other guy besides today’s feature. Because for the most part, this is a community of women. But, it’s nice to hear from the “other side” now and then. And today’s guest fits in so well in the mom blog world. Please welcome John from The Adventures of Daddy Runs a Lot.

On the whole, I’m not a worrier. Typically, if I am worried about something, we’ve moved beyond the point where worrying would be proper and we’ve moved onto the stage where worrying is useless and action is required.

But, lately, I’ve found myself worrying. More specifically, about two years ago, I started worrying. What’s worse is that I’ve been worrying about stuff that, well, you absolutely can’t control. Worrying, typically, is useless . . . but, sometimes you worry over something and you come up with a plan to actually change the course of the thing you’re worrying about. But, there are tons of things that will just play out – and worrying about them is just pointless. Of course, it’s those things that I worry about.

I worry about my job. I worry about the number of hours that I spend working it. I worry about losing it and how I’d provide for my family. And I worry, just as much, about keeping this job for forever, because I don’t have the “this isn’t really work, but I get paid for it” vibe that I once convinced myself that I’d have . . . and that I hope my children grow up knowing.

I worry that the line between “daddy” and “husband” gets blurred and lost.

I worry that I don’t do enough at home. I worry more that I find myself longing for “peace and quiet and just a minute to myself” when I am at home. So, there are times that I get home and try to do everything – and long more and more for just that minute of silence. And, once that minute of silence is attained, I worry that I’m being reclusive.

I worry when I reach for a beer or a glass of wine – both in the fact that I might not have any more beer or wine, or that there’s some part of me that feels that I need it.

I worry that something will happen to me, and my kids won’t remember me. So, I work out in the extreme early morning, and over lunches, to try to make myself as strong and healthy as possible.

I worry that my “five year plan” is nothing more than “let’s wait and see,” but, honestly, I can’t see much past the next week.

I worry that I’ll lose my phone, and with it, lose any track of the weekend commitments I’ve made to my band, or couples getting married, or community theaters needing a musician. You’d think I’d keep better track of my calendar because of this (ask me, some day, about my photo backup strategy if you want to see a fully anal-retentive John), but I trust worry to do it all.

I worry about my two year old son not speaking yet. I worry that he’s well on his way to becoming a superstar athlete, and I worry about the constant worry I’ll face about him getting hurt because that.

I worry about the speed at which my daughter figures things out, and the way that, even at 17 months old, she’s quite clear about what she does not want. I worry about her being far smarter and more motivated than I am.

I worry about my kids having their hearts broken.

I worry that I’m not doing enough for their future educations.

I worry about my kids finding out just what kind of student I was.

I worry about my kids becoming fans of the Dallas Cowboys. Or worse, the Oakland Raiders.

I worry about the way I eat when I worry, which makes me want to reach for another donut, which makes me worry more, which makes me daydream of nachos.

I worry that I now want nachos. Badly. And maybe some wine. After a donut, of course.

Please leave John some comment love here and then go follow The Adventures of Daddy Runs a Lot. You can also find him on twitter @daddyrunsalot

Comments

  1. Nice to see you here, John!

    Worries – I've got them aplenty too. Then I go eat a cupcake and try not to worry about the calories.

  4. So good to see John here, I have just been getting to know him through his blog and this post is a perfect reason why everyone loves him so much.
    I'm not a major worrier day to day until someone coughs or sneezes and then you need to hand me a tranquilizer to dull my nervous shakes.

  5. If you want to know how much I worry…just take a look at my head…it is being overrun by gray hairs these days. Thank goodness for highlights!!!
    Great post about about just living it general. It's amazing we can live as long as we do with the stress upon us!

  7. I think that worrying is just part of life… as much as we try to not worry about things in our life it's just to hard to not. Especially this day in age!

    It's nice to see a guys thoughts!

  8. Thanks so much for sharing a Daddy's point of view. How amazing to know that we mommies clearly don't shoulder the burden of worry alone!

    or strange food cravings. thanks John for sharing!

  12. I can totally relate. Today is the tomorrow that I worried about yesterday! It is interesting to hear a male perspective. Thanks for sharing.

  14. Wow… that's A LOT of worrying… but I get it. We worry because we care. If you didn't worry about your kids, I'd worry about you..

    now, where's the nachos??

  15. I think we all do it. It is so easy to wonder and question- the key is not let the worry rule us. Great to see a guy blogger out there 🙂

  17. I'm with Cam, let's just all have a donut and worry together…

    John, I'm so with you. I've lost sleep over the things I worry about (and have no control over).

    Enjoyed this alot. So nice to "read" you!

  19. Let's just say that I probably couldn't function at all if I wasn't able to worry. And can you send some of that wine over here?!

  20. Love this post! I am a chronic worrier, which only causes anxiety and makes me feel sick, which makes me worry even more. When you learn the secret for chilling out, please let me know. Although I really think that's what wine and nachos are for.

  22. Love seeing John here. Are you Catholic by chance? 😉 lol Just asking as my whole family is and worrying seems part of the program for us.

  26. Yep, a normal, and sounds like awesome, dad.
    I, myself, am also worried the kids will become Cowboys or Raiders fans. OR. Democrats. HAHAHAHA! I crack myself up.

  27. Okay guy, you gotta stop worrying! Everything's going to be okay.
    Breathe in, breathe out.
    Have peace 🙂

    (I'm sure most of those thoughts run through my husband's mind, too!)

  30. It is great to hear from a guys point of view of fatherhood/holding it all together. Thanks for featuring him!

  31. I am the queen of worry and wonder where the heck my kids get it. I think it's just part of our human nature and when we have kids it really comes out.

  32. Yes, to all that, in some form. Worry is a butt kicker. This was great post, John. I hope it felt good, and eased some of the worry to write it down.

  33. LOVE this post, probably mostly so because it comes written by a husband/father and so nicely written.

    We're all used to women worrying – we do that so well and for stuff and people that we can't do a damn thing about.

    This post makes me wonder how much my own husband worries, but never lets on to me.

    Great job John

  34. ooh, a guy!
    Ah yes…worries…
    I think you probably just described more than half of us…

  35. You sound like most other parents. We are all worried about something and/or everything. I would start with filling your concern for nachos and then go from there.

  36. I thought I worried a lot before I had a baby. That was nothing compared to all the things I think about now!

  38. I hate worrying. Especially when you dwell on it then it becomes torturous. Not healthy for the mind and the body.

  39. Good gracious! That was like the male version of what goes on inside my head. Welcome to parenthood, I guess!

  40. Hi John! I worry. I understand 🙂 I don't have nachos here; I will have to settle for some of Abbey's Halloween candy.

  41. Love seeing the male perspective. It's a nice reminder that we aren't as different as we think sometimes, right?

    Great job, guys!

  42. I think this is a great perspective, and it really reminds me of my husband because I think he thinks about the same things, but he keeps the outdoor refrig…really well stocked, but he gets mad when i take the last beer.

  43. Nice to know that mothers aren't the only ones who worry. Of course, I already knew that, from watching my husband's hair grow touches of silver since the birth of our daughter, but it's nice to read someone else's words.

  44. You sound a lot like my husband…also a musician. Great post. It's always nice to hear from a dad.

  48. Man, you know I love you. More than I should love a stranger on the internet (settle down, John knows I use "stranger" with all the affection my mad self has)but DUDE, you totally just stressed me out with your worry.

    And, do you think you could have some bro time with Adonis because he could use a little of this.

    I'll supply the wine and nachos and cycle/run buddy.

  49. What a great guest post this was! I'm a worrier, too. Wasn't always, but it seems I find more and more things to concern myself with as the years go by.

    Sometimes we just need to chill out. More wine? 🙂 That sometimes takes a bit of the edge off.

  51. Are you sure you're not a woman?!?! LOL But really I glad to meet you and can't wait to go to your blog to check out some of your other thoughts. I am a worrier too, but my worries bring me to the point of anxiety. It sucks, to loose control of your heart. To be frozen in your mind. I am sure that you are doing a great job, don't worry your happiness away! 🙂

    Lynn

  52. I worry a ton too, John. That's just part of being a superstar parent. Trust me, I know.

    I'll think of you next time I devour a donut or enjoy an extra glass of wine. Cheers, my friend.