Things I Can't Say

Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom

Things They Can’t Say: Seeing the Future on a Target Shopping Trip

things they can't sayTricia Oakes is a wanderlusting, foodie, Anglophile who loves the Real Housewives and swim up bars. She lives just outside of Charlotte in Fort Mill, South Carolina, and is a known sassy mouth. Find her blogging at Southern Spark. 

When my husband and I were still dating and starting to talk about getting married and how much fun having kids would be, we unknowingly saw our future in Target. Walking through the wide main aisle near the health and beauty section, we spotted an approximately three-year-old boy several rows up. He was standing beside an end cap precariously stacked with multiple boxes of tampons. His mother warned, “Don’t touch them. DO NOT.” He turned to look at her, smiled impishly, and knocked the entire display to the floor.
My husband and I laughed uproariously. As we came closer, she screamed at us, “DON’T. EVER. HAVE ANY!”
SharpieNow that I have my own six and three-year-old boys, I think of that mother often.  When I’m barreling through crowds chasing my own kids, whom I often liken to drunk zombies, I wonder what that mom is doing now that her child is probably closer to a driver’s license than a tricycle.
I wonder if letting him go out with friends, drive, or have girlfriends he likes better than her will be worse than taking my three-year-old to his first movie as I did last weekend. The first 20 minutes were perfect, and I thought, “Oh! Maybe we’ve been released from Baby Jail! We can go out in public on occasion without him acting a fool and making it generally miserable.”
Turns out I was just on work release from Baby Jail. After sitting nicely in his seat for a bit, he insisted on lying on the steps of the very crowded theater beside my aisle seat. He punctuated his reposes by standing up, straining, and screaming, “I’M POOPING!”
Thankfully, he’s still in diapers. The potty training thing hasn’t gone well so far, and he clearly needs more fiber in his diet. I suppose it could have been worse. He could have been knocking down a million boxes of tampons.

Or going off to college. 

 

Comments

    • Thank you. Some days I want to sell them. Today was one of those days. Luckily I wrote this post earlier in the week. 

  3. Ahhh yes, good times but honestly, we wouldn’t have it any other way because then what stories would we have to torture and embarrass them when they are older? Great post and AWESOME pic!!

  5. My children also have the desire to announce ther bathroom activities loudly in public. What is that about?!!

  6. The next time you feel too lazy about brushing your teeth, flossing, or going to your dentist for checkups, just think
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  7. Lol. I’d love to say it gets “better”, which people use to really mean “easier”, because let’s face it – as hard + suck-ish parenting is – it’s the best thing we’ve ever done. Back to the point, seriously, it doesn’t in fact, and this may be relative… it gets HARDER. You probably want to smack me right know, or roll your eyes and dismiss me with a “she is so far removed she forgot how HARD parenting this age group is.” I know this, because I was where you are. Almost a decade ago, I had 4 daughters under the age of 10. And man, was parenting HARD. Especially when we had to leave the privacy of our own home and spend time in civilized society. And in the middle of MANY a near meltdown(MINE, being brought on from the difficulty of parenting 4 children in public while trying to accomplish other tasks – like grocery shopping or returning library books or bringing them all to their dental cleaning appointment) some “well meaning”(or in hindsight, ENVIOUS) parent(s) would give me that “knowing – as in I have been in your humiliated, seconds away from losing it and shouting JUST WAIT ’til we get HOME – to save face, because your kids really can’t wait to get home, knowing you will disappear into your own time out” look and say, so condescendly (er, I mean SUPPORTIVELY) you need to ENJOY this time – it only get’s harder. Ya, right. 

    Um, ya, EXACTLY right. The thing is,  the HARD part of parenting young children is the sheer energy and time it requires. Keeping them clean, fed, happy, healthy…  alive is EASY, just time consuming. ALL consuming. You think to yourself, ” If I can just hang in there until they are all old enough to keep themselves clean, fed, happy, for the most part healthy… my job (PARENTING) will be so much EASIER”.  See where this is going…. ?!??

    Keeping them HAPPY, HEALTHY, and ALIVE becomes more of a challenge and less within YOUR ability. The time you longed for now represents time you have nothing constructive to do to help your child with their pursuits – time you spend wondering, worrying, wishing… that you could spend more time with them. Have more control over their happiness and safety. Go back to the days where the most you had to worry about was them knocking over a tampon display in Target. 😉 

  12. Knocking over tampons? JUST TAMPONS?!?

    Glass jars and bags of manure. 🙂 I wish I was kidding. I really, really wish. Oy.

  13. Loved this post, especially the part about the movie theater. When my son was 5 we took him to see “Cars 2”. He hated it. He loudly announced: “WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO TAKE ME HERE???” Now that he’s 6 and a half, we took him to see “The Croods” and he actually sat through the whole thing and loved it (as long as the Skittles kept coming). There is light at the end of the tunnel!

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