Hi, I’m Nicolette. I share my life with a very funny man and two beautiful girls. They are the inspiration for most of my posts at Working on a Project. I love to create, teach and make all things pretty and covered in chocolate when ever possible.
I’m petite, only 5’2″ with a small frame. Narrow hips, not the childbearing kind. I don’t think of myself as short but next to my 6’5″ husband I appear pretty tiny. My weight has always been within a healthy range for my height. Despite my healthy appearance, others, both people I know and strangers, have made comments like these to me:
“you are so lucky to be skinny”
“it must be nice to just be naturally thin”
“you have good genes, so it’s easier for you”
“you are probably one of those people who don’t even have to workout”
These are just a few, there have been more, some not so polite. Once I even had someone tell me that it was not okay for me to compliment a friend on her weight loss because I was skinny and didn’t get it. She added, “No one wants a size 2 telling them their size 12 ass looks good in a pair of jeans.” I was kinda shocked by this statement and at first felt bad that maybe I was out of line. But in hindsight that person has no idea about my journey.
Prior to having kids, I never really struggled with my weight. Body image, yes but weight, no. However, I am one of those woman who gains a lot of weight when I’m pregnant, like twice as much as recommended. I gained 40 pounds with my first and 50 with my second. I had two very healthy pregnancies and my weight gain was never a medical concern. I’m just one of those women who really packs it on while growing a human. I honestly think I could have gained more. I worked out 3-4 times a week until my last month and I walked about 2 miles everyday. If I didn’t do those things, I’m confident I would have gained 75 pounds.
When I left the hospital with my second baby, I weighed 4 lbs less than when I checked in. I had a 8 pound plus baby! You do the math.
I could still be that weight today. Time alone doesn’t make you lose weight. I had and still do have to work very hard to maintain a healthy body. So when someones says to me “I hate you for being naturally skinny” or “you’re so lucky.” I want to yell in their face, “It’s not luck! It’s hard work and dedication.”
Dedication to something I truly do not enjoy. That is probably the understatement of the year. I loathe working out. It’s worse than laundry. Because in my head it never ends. I will always have to workout. It will never be off my to-do list. At least with laundry, when the kids move out, there will be less of it. Working out is forever. Outside of my relationship with my husband and kids, forever is not appealing to me.
My point is that being healthy is not easy. I don’t blame other woman for making those comments. I understand they are pissed. I’m pissed too. I don’t want to work out either. I would much rather eat potato chips dipped in nutella but I have a responsibly to my daughters. I have to be an example of a healthy body image. Because outside of my home they are bombarded with quite the opposite.
My husband has heard this rant many of times and he usually asks why I even tolerate these comments. I don’t have an answer. Except, I’m too polite. I feel bad because I assume these women are struggling and well, maybe “no one wants a size 2 telling them” anything about weight loss.
The other day I decided maybe they do.
My oldest saw a woman about to get on her bike outside the store. My daughter commented on the color of the bike and told the woman she really liked it. They had a short conversation which lead to her asking the woman why she was riding her bike and not driving. The woman replied, “because I want to be skinny like your Mom.” I knew she meant no harm. I usually just shrug the comments off and make some kind of joke to deflect the awkwardness. However, this time I very nicely said “Good for you. It’s really hard work to be healthy.” I then shared that I recently had a baby and losing the weight was not easy. At the end of the conversation, she thanked me. She said it’s good to hear that the hard work pays off because she often sees other women and gets frustrated that she has not reached her goal yet.
As we drove out of the shopping center, I saw the woman again. She was peddling her heart out in the oppressive Florida heat. I rolled down the windows and slowly drove by honking, waving and cheering her on. My daughter did the same from the back seat. The woman laughed and waved back saying thank you. It seems the size of my ass didn’t bother her at all.