I’m not that great at making friends.
Scratch that. I can make friends, when I put myself out there. I’m just not great at putting myself out there. I’m shy, I get overwhelmed around strangers, and people think I’m a bitch because I don’t talk much to new people. I look like a snob, but really, I’m taking it all in.
I have always been one to surround myself with a small group of good friends. I’ve never been “popular” but I’ve never lacked those relationships.
I’m still in touch with close friends from every stage in my life, but as I get older (and the responsibilities of motherhood exponentially increase with each child), I find it harder and harder to not only connect with people, but pencil in time to spend time with them.
There are too many exclamations of “we need to get together!” and “I haven’t seen you in so long, we have to catch up!” I’m as much to blame as my friends are. And with social media, it’s even more complicated. We feel like we know what is going on in the other person’s life, but we don’t actually “talk” about it, face to face.
There is just something about virtual communication that is seriously lacking. The tone of a simple note can be taken in a completely different way than it was intended, and the lack of a simple note (or comment on a status) is too easily taken as disinterest. I, personally, am entirely too sensitive about things that I see or read online (real or imagined). I won’t hear from someone for a while, or there will be a notable absence of a “like” on good news that I’ve posted, or whatever, and I let my feelings get hurt. It’s pathetic, I know. But it’s true. Without that verbal communication, what else do I have to go on?
Of course, I have some friends that, when we finally do get together to catch up, it’s just like it was the last time, five months ago. But that in between time is hard. And it’s lonely. I would kill for a chance to meet up with my girls for dinner and drinks and boy talk.
But I don’t have a “group of girls” anymore. I have friends scattered all over the country, whom I rarely get to see.
I do have a friend that I make a serious effort to make time for (and vice versa). It’s easy when we get together, but what’s more important is that we DO get together. We met through this crazy blogging world but live close enough to hang out in person every couple of weeks. We “get” each other, and I’m incredibly sad to think that we may end up solely as “virtual” friends again. I don’t want to lose her to the online world, like so many others. It’s just not the same as sitting across from each other and Instragramming our lunches simultaneously.
Greta Funk writes at Gfunkified.com, about her glamorous life on the Kansas prairie as the stay at home mom of her four little tornadoes and wife to her noble protector. She also writes about the Celiac Disease that her preschooler was recently diagnosed with, and her household’s resulting Gluten Free lifestyle. She co-hosts a fun camera photo link-up called iPhone Photo Phun (#iPPP for short) every Wednesday. She works hard every day to record the moments, keep the crazy contained, and maintain herself as a Person and not just a Mom. Follow @gfunkified on twitter and “like” her Facebook page.