Robin is a writer, speaker and mom. She experienced undiagnosed postpartum depression after her first son was born and started her blog, Farewell, Stranger, as a way of writing herself out of it. You can also find her on Twitter @FarewellStrangr and on Facebook.
If I have one vice, it’s Coke. (I don’t count chocolate as a vice. Anything that provides good endorphins can’t be bad for you.) I don’t smoke, I don’t drink much, and I don’t even eat a lot of junk food. But Coke… I just can’t quit it.
I’ve had this problem before. In the last semester of the last year of my undergrad I drank so much Coke I was afraid I would turn into a blob of syrupy sugar. So I quit.
That time it was hard – I had the caffeine withdrawal headaches and the willpower battles and everything. But I knew I needed to do it and I did.
Over the intervening years I have continued to be a Coke drinker off and on, except for during my first pregnancy. I had it in my self-righteous head that my baby shouldn’t ingest all the crap that’s in Coke so I didn’t drink it while I was pregnant or breastfeeding. That worked out to 25 straight months without a Coke, and when I had a much-anticipated one after my son weaned I didn’t even like it.
You would think I might have taken that opportunity to ditch it altogether, but no. Put me in a restaurant and offer me a fountain Coke with ice and I almost guarantee you I won’t say no. I think with my last pregnancy I lasted a few weeks before deciding a Coke now and then wouldn’t kill my child and diving right back in to the red cans.
And here I am with a three-month-old nursling and if I don’t have a Coke every day I get twitchy. It’s totally psychological, I know. I don’t need the caffeine, and I certainly don’t need the calories. It’s January and cold here, so a cold drink shouldn’t be what I crave. But it is. I’m tired and my body is sore in all the usual new-mom ways. I’m spending more time than normal with my high-energy four-year-old. So a Coke a day is my treat to myself. (Plus it goes nicely with chocolate.)
I’m back to exercising regularly and I’m eating better after a pregnancy so fraught with morning sickness I didn’t eat much at all (and when I did it wasn’t always healthy). I could jump on the resolution bandwagon and vow to quit drinking Coke, but I don’t really want to.
But, whew. I do feel better having admitted it.
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