Things I Can't Say

Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom

Things They Can’t Say: CA Girl

Lourie is the incredibly sweet and sometimes sarcastic blogger behind CA Girl: CEO, Writer, MD, Lawyer, Ref, Taxi…Mom!

I am often behind the camera instead of in front of it because I am the photographer and because that means I won’t break the camera.  I am painfully shy and yet, I love the idea of performing.  Let me explain that to you.  Being on stage and pretending to be someone else is a great escape from reality.  I do not have to be me.  Or at least, I can pretend to be the person everyone thinks I am not.  People think I am so quiet and reserved.  They also will tell me I am so calm and even-tempered.  My only response to that is:  oh honey, you just don’t live with me.  As for the quiet and reserved, well you haven’t stepped into my comfort zone.  Once you are there you know I am not either.

Unfortunately for you and for me, I make myself to appear quite unapproachable.  I am not one to sit in the middle front row at church—more like the back corner or near the exit to make a clean get away.  Likewise, I will not seek out new people at mixers(like I go to any) or church functions(more my speed) I either search out the one person I know or hang with the one I came with—meaning my husband or my mom if husband happens to be working that night.   I am not a cold fish by any stretch of the imagination.  All you have to do is draw me out.  Once you have done that you are golden.  And you will see that I don’t bite…usually.

So if we ever have the pleasure of meeting, and it is filled awkward silences, rest assured it is totally me and not you.  Just keep the conversation going.  If you can do that, I am sure we will hit a common ground and I will open up.  Then I will start talking, and probably not shut up open up and that awkwardness will melt away.   


Are you shy or outspoken?  Do you reach out to people or hope people will seek you out?

cagirl

Please leave Lourie some comment love here and then go follow CA Girl. You can also find her on twitter.

Comments

  2. Behind this keyboard it is easy to be outgoing. I love to make people laugh. But I also feel umm less than if that makes sense. I will instantly look at someone and say oh her hair is pretty or her eyes and I am so not as pretty as her, making myself believe they would never associate with me because I am not as pretty , smart, witty, insert adjective here. So I totally understand how you feel. I eventually will come out of my shell if we meet face to face once I get over those feelings but it might take me a few minutes. If I can think of a way to make you laugh then I am fine,I just have to make you laugh.

  3. For me it depends on the situation I'm.

    When I know we clearly have somethings in common, I jump right in and get the conversations going. ie. at the soccer fields, while kids are practicing/training or playing a game.

    When something is new to me, I sit back awhile and listen to others. I try to get a feel for what is acceptable within that group. My current example, Marching Band parents.

  5. It really depends on the situation, but more times than not: Quite, shy and reserved.

    Reading what Lourie just wrote, she could have written every word about me! :o)

  6. Totally reserved. And I hate that I'm that way sometimes! It's hard for me to step out of it.

  8. I am an introvert who is really, REALLY good at pretending to be an extrovert. Till I was almost 19 I didn't talk to people and almost never made eye contact.

  9. I'm very shy. It was worse when I was child. I would never talk to anyone unless they talked to me first. Now that I'm older, I'm a little better, but if I'm out somewhere by myself, I always search for someone I know and cling to them. I'm so insecure and I hate it. Going back to college did help me a lot though and I've learned to try to be more outgoing and attempt to strike up a conversation with a stranger. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. I'm afraid people will think i'm a flake just because I'm so shy. Like you, once we find a common ground, I won't shut up though!

  10. As I have gotten older I have become more out going and really enjoy meeting new people and hearing what they have say. In the past I would have just kept to myself.

  13. Wow so much of this resonated with me. I always say it's easier to be on stage because I'm saying someone else's words the way someone else told me to say them.

    But that doesn't explain the writing thing…I do edit pretty heavily before hitting publish 😉

    Nice to meet you.

  14. I'm with you! It's kind of weird, maybe, but online I am very social and chatty. In person, I tend to stick to the same few people I know and am quiet around others.

  15. I feel like you were pretty much describing me! I'm so shy around people I don't know or in situations I'm not familiar with, but when it's just me in my comfort zone (with my hubby and my son, for instance) I can really relax and be myself.

  16. I think I might appear more outgoing than I really am. I try to stay involved in things like MOPS and I joined a book club. But deep inside, I'd rather stay home!

  17. I am reserved, but not shy. If that makes sense. I have no trouble approaching people, but do not like to be the center of attention.

  18. Don't really care to be around strangers, would rather be forever in my comfort zone or in that seat by the door in church lol! Not really sure what I am but it was sure nice meeting you.

  19. Shell, thanks again so much for having me. 🙂 My phone (Twitter) and email are already exploding. hahaha.

  20. Yea!! Love CA Girl :). At first I though shy what? But that is because I have been way in her bubble for a few years now- definitely a fun place to be. As a kid I was totally outgoing for a few years and then shy most of my childhood. Now, I have learned to just open up and get out there- I have to since we move so much.

    Lourie is definitely a great friend to have.

  21. Aww, I love Lourie!
    I could just keep talking and talking…that's what I do when I hit a "shy" one. I just talk and talk until they HAVE to talk back. 🙂

  22. I could have written your second paragraph! I'm extremely shy but I hide it fairly well, so it often comes of as snobbishness. It really just depends on how comfortable I am in the situation in which you meet me.

  23. Cracks me up Shell. Ha ha ha. I'm the same way with ya. I keep to myself but once you draw me out, watch out. Just like blogging, I get attached. Love your blog.

  24. Hey Lourie!

    Congrats on the feature! I'm quite a bit like you (on the inside), but I force myself out of my comfort zone and make myself interact with others. It really hard to do, and totally exhausting.

  25. Great to see you here Louri! And an interesting post. You've always stuck me as so outgoing on your blog. I think I go through social phases, but with most people it takes me a little while to feel myself.

  27. Im one of those people who just can't shut up. I'll talk to people I don't even like if they stand by me. Lol

  28. Great to meet someone new. I have major social anxiety but am pretty good at faking it. In general though I can write much better than I talk so I guess I hide behind my words the way you hide behind the camera.

  29. Good to see you here!

    I'm kind of a mix of both. In some situations I can be kind of shy but for the most part I'm an extrovert and dive right into whatever is going on. It can be a gift and a curse. ;-P

  30. Me and you are quite similar, although I am getting a bit better. I used to be so painfully shy that I would feel awkward talking to anyone or anything.

  31. Oh, this all sounds familiar! I am very much the same way. I do find, though, that I have become more extroverted as I have gotten older.

  32. I'm the same way–I'm very shy in person and prefer to be approached. I don't know why. Often I wish I were more outgoing.

  34. I used to be so painfully shy, but somewhere in the middle of college I became that loud person who charges forward gleefully to round everyone up to do the Macarena.

    I've toned it down a bit in the last decade, so I'm not that scary anymore. But I'll still talk to a wall.

  35. I am pretty shy around people I don't know but when I'm with people I know there is often no shutting me up.

  36. I'm usually more outgoing, but when I meet someone who is more outgoing, then I'm alittle more quiet and if I meet someone who is alittle more shy, then I'm alittle more outgoing lol. so I'm just…all over the place! 🙂