There are some thoughts that flitter through my head that I realize I can’t say. Maybe I’m just being crabby in that moment and don’t really mean them or maybe I do really mean others but know there’s nothing to be gained from saying them. Or maybe if I said them, it would just confirm how awkward I can be. But, why not share them here?
I’m Auntie to 8 but I have a favorite.
Much as I hate drama that involves me, I’m entertained sitting back and watching others’ drama.
I complain because my hair is a giant pain in the ass, but I secretly think it’s pretty fabulous-looking hair(why is it that we aren’t supposed to admit what we like about ourselves?).
I’ve judged the moms who show up at school pick-up still in their pajamas(not the ones at drop off, though).
Whenever someone mentions buying an old house, I have to literally clench my jaw to keep from launching into warnings about lead paint that they probably don’t want to hear.
I think the next extrovert to mock my need to be quiet or be alone should be made to sit in a quiet room with no one to talk to or call or even internet for 48 hours.
If I put you on speaker phone, it means that I’m working and probably not paying attention to a word you are saying.
I don’t believe people who say they don’t like bread.
I’m glad my husband finally has friends that I actually like. There were some real creeps over the years.
The socially polite hug makes me uncomfortable and feels fake. I’ll hug a friend I haven’t seen in a while or anyone if we’re in a sad situation and definitely my kids and my husband all the time. But someone I barely know when a handshake or even a smile will do, feels fake.
I think it’s funny when someone doesn’t understand twitter.
I hate when someone says “whatever.” Shouldn’t that word be over by now? It’s rude.
I roll my eyes when someone makes a derogatory comment about yoga pants: haven’t they heard of CUTE yoga pants? Lulus, Lucy, Fabletics, Ellie. Check ’em out. They’re much cuter than mom jeans. (Fabletics is an affiliate link to a subscription service that I love)
I feel zero guilt if dinner is as simple as sandwiches and whatever fruit we have lying around. Suck it, Pinterest.
I refuse to participate in the majority of school fundraisers because I hate bugging friends and family to buy crap when the school only receives a small percentage. For the fundraisers where the school gets all or almost all of money, I’m a pain in the ass about asking for donations.
People who have no dog in this fight yet get up on their soapbox about how kids shouldn’t be medicated make me feel stabby.
When I’m only about 70% sure someone is joking, I have no clue how to respond to them and I feel like an idiot.
I’m really not worried about how much screen time my boys have, even though I hear other moms talking about specific limits. I know mine are active.