It’s not that I’m too lazy to move the Elf on the Shelf around my house each night. Or that I don’t want to come up with creative ideas for the Elf on the Shelf each day. A daily alert on my phone and a quick Pinterest search can solve those problems. So, that’s not why we don’t have an Elf on the Shelf in our home.
Several years ago, when I first saw the Elf on the Shelf in a catalog somewhere, I remember thinking it was a pretty cute idea. Something else to add to the magic of Christmas. A new family tradition.
And, let’s face it: there are days, especially once Christmas break starts, that I sort of want to play the Santa card. Santa is watching you, you better stop that right now. Or the idea of an elf reporting their bad behavior to Santa- it seems like a good way to get them to stop whatever it is they shouldn’t be doing, instead of having it all fall on mom and dad to put a stop to it.
But before I decided to buy one of those elves, I really thought about it. After all, if we started the Elf on the Shelf tradition, not only would it be something that I would need to do every day for about a month, it would most likely need to be carried on until my youngest stopped believing in Santa. That’s years and years of commitment. I didn’t want to start this on a whim and then be stuck with it unless I was really behind the idea.
So yes, I put a lot of thought into the Elf on the Shelf. I know a lot of you have an elf who arrives the day after Thanksgiving or soon thereafter. I enjoy seeing the creative photos that you post with your elves. And I laugh even harder when you post the “elves gone wild” pics, depicting what your elf gets up to when the kids are asleep. I don’t have an issue with other families having an Elf on the Shelf and making a fun family tradition out of it.
But, it’s not for my family.
Much as I love the holiday season, with all the parties, treats, movies, lights, decorations, and most of what goes along with this time of year, sometimes I get a little bothered by the commercialism of the season.
My family celebrates Christmas because we believe that we are commemorating the birth of Jesus Christ. If we didn’t believe this, we wouldn’t do the decorating and the gift giving.
Jesus was God’s gift to us. That’s where I look to for our Christmas gift giving tradition: God gave us an amazing gift, we give gifts to each other.
Here’s the thing- and why there is no room for an Elf on my shelf. God gave us that gift when we didn’t deserve it. Not a single person was “good.” We were all on the naughty list. He didn’t tell us there was a wonderful gift coming on December 25th, but maybe we wouldn’t get it if we didn’t shape up, so we better all watch out.
It was a gift of unconditional love.
To me, that’s what the spirit of Christmas is.
It doesn’t fit for me to have an Elf on the Shelf watching my kids every day and reporting their bad behavior back to Santa. My boys are getting what they are getting for Christmas because we love them, not because they are on the nice list(even though, to be honest- they really are. They have their naughty moments, but they really are good kids). It probably works that way in your house, too- no matter what that elf sees, you already know what will be under your Christmas tree(for the most part anyway).
So even though I know, I know, the Elf on the Shelf is just plain ol’ holiday fun(every one of my boys’ cousins has an Elf on the Shelf in their homes and I’ve been accused of being a Grinch for not having one), we won’t be adding one to our house this holiday season.
Last Week’s Pour Your Heart Out Highlights
- What I Can’t Have from Our Giggles and Grimaces: “I hate them. I hate the side effects. I hate needing them. I hate KNOWING I need them, most of all.”
- When Your Child Doesn’t Believe from Chasing Cloud 9: “And yet, part of me is incredibly sad that he knows the truth. It is just one more sign that my baby, my little boy, isn’t so little anymore.”
- Why I’m Blogging Like a Horse with Blinders On from A Cookie Before Dinner: “I got caught up hard and fast in what others were up to, instead of focusing on what I was doing.”
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Love it! Thank you
I got one last year but never took it out of the box or read it. I do plan on doing it this year. I agree though….my kids do get the gifts because we love them unconditionally. However, the elf looks like fun and helps with the build up of excitement. My kids are much more excited about seeing their dad than getting the gifts.
I’ve found my kids don’t need any help building up any more excitement. 😉
We don’t do the elf either.
There is so much commercialism in the holiday now….and I kind of felt that way when the elf came out, too. My sister sent us an elf. (Not one of the Elf on a Shelf ones, but similar.) Last year we had it out, but I talked to the kids and they knew it was just me moving it and hiding it — just a fun game for us to play together that month. A few times I didn’t hide it and they had fun hiding it for each other.
You are right — God’s love is unconditional, and I don’t want to use the elf, or Santa for that matter, to “make my kids behave.”
Oh, that’s a fun way to use it!
A lot of my boys’ friends have one and they’ve asked about why they don’t.
Yes! That is it exactly! While we still talk about Santa, we don’t ever talk about being good just for Santa. And we try to focus on doing good things for other people. Thank you for this!
Yup, they have to be good because they have to be. Period.
YES!!
We don’t have one for the very same reason. I mean, what parent Ever – actually did not put gifts under the tree because their child did not behave before Christmas? Not likely anyone – even though we may have been tempted. ha No – we give to show our love. the end.
It can be hard enough keeping “Christ” in Christmas when competing with the Might Sears Holiday Wish Book. I don’t need another thing tearing my children’s attention away from the Reason for the Season.
Ha! Yeah, I don’t see it really happening. Maybe if they did something major, I’d reconsider. And I imagine it changes a bit once they are teens, but in the end, the gifts are coming from a place of love.
I understand your opinion completely! WHen my mom died we started Elf as a new family tradition, to go with our new “normal” of not having Grammy around. Elf showed up with a note reminding children that Jesus payed the ultimate sacrifice and that no matter what scrapes they get into in life, Jesus loves and delights in them. Elf spends the holidays getting into mischief and the kids hear mom teaching elf lessons, accepting apologies, and forgiving. And Elf comes up with great Christ-cenetered activities to get kids into the giving portion of the season … circling options in the newspaper to go served. Envelopes with money for the kids to do random acts of kindness. A pad full of post-its to write nice notes to leave on strangers’ cars. A toy to wrap and give to local charities. A Bible verse highlighted in our Bible to be read at breakfast, etc.
I guess what I am saying is my kids do not believe, and never have believed in Santa. And they don’t believe in Elf either. But they do believe that we can learn Christ values while having fun with family tradition. Elf does not take notes for Santa. Elf does not judge who is naughty or nice. Elf does serve as a daily reminder to be gracious, forgiving, and thoughtful of others. I’d say those are values that keep my kids focused on Christ.
That’s a really fun and smart way to use the Elf without losing the meaning of Christmas. I love it!
Hear! Hear!
We have an elf. He’s vintage from my husband’s childhood. He comes out to play hide and seek and cause a little mischief, he doesn’t report to Santa. We don’t have the book and it is one I’ll never read to my kids. Our elf adds a little fun to our December holiday season. This is the first year that Malone is really starting to grasp that Christmas is all about Jesus’s birthday. He’s asked to bake a birthday cake to celebrate, which is such a sweet idea. We’re also going to do the Truth In The Tinsel advent series for kids for the first time this year. I’m looking forward to that!
We always did a birthday cake for Jesus and sang happy birthday when I was little. It was a fun tradition.
I gave in to the elf madness several years ago when I was a retail manager and I was working 6-7 days a week every week between Thanksgiving and New Year. I was missing out on so much with my kids around the holidays just because of lack of time and sheer exhaustion, and I remember thinking that it would be an easy thing I could do for them that they could look forward to every morning. I have regretted it ever since. I don’t love the “I’m watching you” message it seems to send, and every year since the first year I’ve downplayed it just a little more.
I do think it can be a fun tradition. Like you, I just don’t like the whole I’m watching you aspect to it.
I.LOVE.THIS!!!!
We don’t do it either, although I confess to not putting this much thought into it… we don’t do it because I can’t handle another thing…. that said, LB’s kids do it and he has one, so their Elf will probably need to make an appearance when they get here….
Well, I first saw it when my oldest was a baby- figured it was too early. Forgot about it the next Christmas. Saw it again his third Christmas, when there was him plus a toddler, and I was pregnant. And I realized that if I started it then, I’d probably have to keep it up until the yet-to-be-born baby stopped believing, which would mean about 9 years or so… so I really, really thought about it. Probably too much. 😉 But once I came to this conclusion, I couldn’t go back.
We did the elf last year, but he wasn’t very active. He was kinda lazy like us because I kept forgetting. I don’t know if we will do it this year or not…
There are some super cute calendars out there with suggestions for each day. Though the funniest one I saw basically rotate from shelf to other shelf to tree to forget to move it. LOL
Our family celebrates Christmas for the unconditional gift, too, Shell. We tell our kids that God wants us to love one another, so showing love is our birthday gift to Jesus. And at Christmas, one of the ways we show love is by giving gifts. So I go a little crazy this time of year… more gifts means more love? 🙂 Not really. But my kids are being taught the true purpose behind the hype. And we eat birthday cake for breakfast on Christmas morning! Do you do that? My girls totally love it. Blessings to you and your family. Happy Thanksgiving!
Birthday cake for breakfast sounds like a fun idea to me! We always had a birthday cake and sang happy birthday to Jesus when I was growing up.
We are a no Elf family too. Always will be! He is just creepy and something I would rather not look at every day. Christmas is not about bribing my kids to be good because a strange elf is watching over you. It’s about the excitement of the spirit of Christmas, the togetherness, and other fun holiday traditions (like crafts and baking!). Love this post!
He is creepy. If we’d had one growing up, I probably would have had nightmares.
I actually celebrate Christmas completely for the commercialism, okay, well not completely…I’m a pagan so I celebrate Yuletide, the celebation of the darkest day, and knowing that Spring will come and everything will be reborn a new. Bringing the tree into the house symbolizes all that is still green and thriving despite the bitter cold of Winter, the decorations on it help to celebrate the beauty of nature. This shows how we can all make it through anything. We exchange gifts to show our love of family, and celebrate the spirit of giving to others.
Even though, we don’t have the same religious beliefs, I respect yours and appreciate how hard it is for you to come out and speak for what you believe. Kudos to you for standing up for something. Have a happy Thanksgiving!
I know a lot of what we do at Christmastime has roots in other beliefs but has been lumped into Christmas- and some of it is purely arbitrary and has just become habit. (Don’t even get me started on the weirdness of candy at Easter.) But in this one thing, I really felt like we were losing the meaning of the season around here, so I couldn’t adopt this tradition.
We don’t do the elf either. I try, really hard though of course I do it occasionally, not to use the Santa-being-good card. I know it’s a little silly, but I don’t want my kids to think of gifts as something they get for “doing something.” I want them to learn about gratitude and giving, too.
There are other times of the year when my boys work towards getting something. But I want them to know that it’s not always about deserving, it’s about being given something for nothing, just because they are loved.
I’d be lying if I said I never, ever played the Santa card, but I try to use it very, very sparingly an I usually cringe at myself when I do mention it.
I love this! I think that so many people get caught up in the commercialism of the season and tend to forget the meaning behind it call.
I have an elf on the shelf even though my 3 oldest kids don’t believe in Santa but my almost 4 year old does. For us it’s more fun than anything.
I could see it being a fun thing, for sure.
I agree so wholeheartedly!! A couple of years ago, my sister, who is divorced, was stressing because her daughter had an elf at her Dad’s and she felt that she HAD to do it too. I convinced her that it was ok for her to have different traditions in the different homes for so many reasons. I am not an Elf on the Shelf fan. To me it is just one more thing to distract from the true meaning of Christmas.
I’m glad she didn’t feel pressured to have one if she didn’t want one!
Love this Shell! We don’t do elf on the shelf either and I love your stand on it. It’s the same as ours. 🙂
Thanks, Anna!
I actually bought an ELF this year…not because I wanted someone to keep an eye on the boys…but I wanted someone to keep A HEART on the boys.
I don’t move hm, Jacob sleeps with him all cuddled up under his arm and tells him “we love you Jingle”
the thing for me was the SPIRIT of Christmas…but I get what you’re saying. I’ve had many COME TO JESUS moments with the boys this year about what they get all year and how Christmas is one day …that we need to remember WHY we have a Christmas and that’s Jesus being born.
AMEN to all the ways we can teach our children about the love, peace, joy and merry of Christmas without it equaling what we put under the tree.
(My big reveal…Toys for Tots is getting just as much as my children are this year, save one BIG gift for the boys….I am GIVING and showing them how good it feels too. )
LOVE YOU and every word you write, you ALWAYS say it so well my friend. XO
I love your Toys for Tots idea! 🙂
I do think it’s all in the intent. There are people who do a fabulous job with their Elf and make it enhance the spirit of Christmas. I just haven’t been a fan of the “he’s watching you so watch out” mentality.
I can’t do the elf on a shelf either, it just annoys me. Partly because I am too lazy to move it every day and partly because there are more important things I want my kids to take away from the holiday season.
And it’s creepy looking, isn’t it? 😉
No elf in my house either. I try not to use theSantas watching line either. I usually say (when my nerves have been shot by 2 boys wrestling and arguing all day) God is watching and can see everything you do. Truth!!
That’s a much better idea!
I admit that sometimes I go with the Santa’s watching thing, but then I hate myself for it!
I don’t do it either…I cannot add another thing to my plate during this holiday season!!!
There is so much to do this month, isn’t there? One of my boys has a birthday soon, too!
we have an Elf in our house who comes every December 1st. He is a huge part of our tradition and our daughter looks forward to him coming. He gets into mischief and gets very creative. He doesn’t report back to Santa about her behaviour and we don’t use him or santa as a threat in order to monitor or control behaviour. We use him as part of the magic of Christmas. Watching her face every morning when she wakes up to see he has moved and to see what silly things he has done is worth it.
It sounds like you’ve made it into a really fun tradition!
Sometimes we need a reminder of the reason for the season. I love the humorous twist you put on this post. I tried the elf thing last year and hardly ever remembered to place it somewhere new.
I could see mine moving from one spot on the shelf to another and back.
I completely agree with you. While I love seeing all of the cute pictures shared and the wonderful ideas on Pinterest, I just don’t know if I can commit to an entire month x every Christmas for the next 10 years! The thought of it is daunting! I’d love to shake the hand of the mom who has 30 new and wonderful ideas each year for her family’s Elf – I just don’t know if I have it in me!
Happy Thanksgiving,
Victoria
Mommy’s Playbook
That was why I put so much thought into whether or not we’d do it- because I knew it would end up being something we’d have to do for a month for years to come and I didn’t want to start it on a whim!
Oh, I had to laugh when I read this. I’ve been feeling like such a grinch all fall, since the Elves first appeared again. I honestly just don’t get it. The Elf is a cute idea, but who has that kind of time?
After writing this, I see more people don’t do it than do- despite what all the pics on fb made me think!
I think it’s completely up to the parents and their own beliefs/traditions if they want an elf. I am sure it’s fun for those that partake, but it’s also not for everyone.
Agreed. I have no problem with anyone who chooses to do it and I even enjoy the creativity of it. It’s just not for my own household.
I don’t do Elf on a Shelf because the little bugger is creepy looking. I got an Elf Magic elf instead so my kids weren’t scared of it. My kids are little so it’s something fun to do with them. I like the reactions. I get it though.
They are creepy, aren’t they?
I’m with you for me its more about simplicity. So my children won’t know about/believe in Santa Clause, Tooth Ferry, Elf etc. Because it further complicates things when you than try to explain your beliefs and reality to a child. I rather tell my 3 & 4 year old mom and dad gives you gifts at Christmas because we love you like Christ loved us, but that’s just me. Great post!
If I had it to do all over again, I most likely would not have started the Santa tradition with my kids and said the same thing you did. But it was what my husband and I grew up with and by the time I really thought about it, my kids already knew about Santa, so we’re rolling with it. But that’s probably why I put even more thought into adding anything else to our traditions.
Amen Shell! I love this. We won’t do the elf, either. First because I don’t think I’d be good about it…and more importantly, we need to remember the real reason for the season.
It’s so easy for the real meaning to get lost.
We are starting the tradition of Elf on the Shelf tomorrow night. We don’t plan to use him as a bribe for better behavior – just something fun to add to the holiday season.
I can definitely see it as being something fun for the family!
we do christopher popinkins here. and christina. we do NOT do the behavior thing. our elves hide all around the house and my kids can’t WAIT to see where they will find them the next morning. they rarely do any shenanigans– they have been known to leave a gingerbread house kit though.
i don’t like the spying aspect either.
That’s such a fun idea!
I totally see where you are coming from. We do it and I sometimes regret it. The holiday does get way too commercialized. 🙁
I think it could be a lot of fun. I probably overthought it, but in the end, I’m okay with our decision.
We started the Elf on the Shelf the first year we were a blended family as we needed some new traditions that were just “ours” . However, we never did the “watching you to see if you are bad”. Our elf does CRAZY things that makes us laugh. He has been hanging in the tree outside our home, he has been breakdancing on video (it took my husband a while to stream together all the still shots), last year he fell and came back the next day with a sling and a note about his broken arm…! My kids are now all at an age where no one really “still believes” but they are still excited to see what our elf is going to do every day! So, it is a total commitment – and you have to do what works for your family!
I think that’s a really fun way to handle it!
Just another reason why I love you as much as I do. (Although for the life of me, I can’t figure out why our circles don’t cross that much. I’m blaming it on me.)
xo We should be in the same place at the same time some time soon, right? (fingers crossed)
My kids were older by the time the Elf craze began, and I am SO glad. Because not only do I agree with your post 100%, but I honestly find those elves INCREDIBLY creepy. Like, nightmare inducing.
They are a little creepy!
Thank you for this post! We do Hanukkah but the point of the season is Jesus!
I think it’s important to do whatever meshes with a family’s beliefs.
You go girl. My kids are in their teens, and there is no “santa” issues at our house. But even when they were younger I could not get into the whole Santa is watching thing. I do think sometimes the true meaning of the season gets lost. I haven’t felt the “Christmas Spirit” yet this year. Thanks you for reminding me that the Christmas Spirit lives in my heart everyday as a Christian.
I can get so swept up in the commercial side of it and worrying about money that I can forget what the real point is. I didn’t want one more thing taking away from that.
We got suckered into doing this. This morning my boys screamed when they saw him (in excitement). We don’t use as bribery for being good…they just think it’s fun to find him every morning. Actually I just ordered Star Wars pjs for our Elf…to spice things up 🙂 But I admit it’s a lot of work and I always forget to move him!
I saw those pajamas- they are super cute! I know my boys would like the elf, but I’m okay with our decision not to have one.
we’ve had our elf for years and years…like before it became totally trendy and the elf started doing little tricks all around the house…my elf watches the kids and reports back to the big man, that’s it! If he starts pulling shit at night and I have to clean up his messes he is so fired
So no gift wrapping your toilet or sled riding down a huge powdered sugar mountain?
Shel, I wanted to come over and introduce myself and get to know you a little. I am Amy from Involuntary Smiles, and I am one of the hosts for the Extravaganza this year. I love your reasons for not having the Elf on the Shelf. Honestly, it is really very touching, the part about how we were given a gift because we were born, and there was nothing hanging over our heads. I have never thought about it in that light. Absolutely beautiful! I saw a SNL about the Elf on the Shelf and honestly, since seeing that I have lost all desire to participate. Besides, like you said, it is a HUGE commitment! 🙂 Love your blog, and can’t wait to get to know you better!
So nice to meet you, Amy!
I haven’t seen the SNL clip- I’ll have to look it up!
I’m not sure why anti-elf people make this a bigger deal than it actually is. It is light hearted fun in our house and doesn’t mean that we don’t keep the focus on Jesus. I grew up believing in Santa and I’d like to think my faith in Jesus is pretty strong despite that 😉
I think it can be fun, for sure. I don’t have an issue with other people who want to do it. Just wanted to explain why I choose not to and that’s it’s not that I’m lazy or mean(like my family members who do this have accused me of!)
I totally agree! I like to keep things simpler this time of year. We hardly ever even do the daily chocolate candy advent either. I want to remember the reason for the season–not to move an elf each night. Great post!
Yup, we’re totally on the same page!
If you like the idea of Elf on a Shelf perhaps look into My Secret Angel and Me – http://mysecretangelandme.com/
It’s a Christ-centered book about the meaning of Christmas and the Angel flies back to Heaven each night.
Will check it out, thanks!
I read this post last week and am just getting around to leaving a comment but I’ve thought about this post every day since. The part about God giving us a gift even when we didn’t deserve it, has stuck with me. We give at Christmas out of love and isn’t that the best gift.
Once I thought about it this way, the whole “naughty” and “nice” part of Christmas hasn’t set well with me.
Shell,
I love that you shared your faith. Jesus is the reason for the season and too often, commercialism causes everyone to forget that. I, too, have chosen not to have an Elf on the Shelf. Mainly, because our family doesn’t need anything to help with our excitement. I love this time of year, the change in weather, having my boys out of school for a couple weeks, and celebrating the best gift we could ever want or need – Jesus.
LOVE IT! You go girl! We never even did Santa so you KNOW we have been the family grinches for years!
I would never in a million years have bought one and then 2 years ago, weeks after Christmas, my Jewish husband came home with one he found for 75% off. I think I am still laughing about that one. The kids know that I am the hawk watching their behavior so I think the elf is just more fun for them to find. And our elf is one lazy elf. She has been known to not move for days.
I love what you’re saying here, Shell. We have an elf, but mostly he just hangs out – I feel weird about using an elf for behavioral modification too!
Yes! I so agree with this.
OMGOSH I am just seeing this one NOW….
I love love love it Shell!!! Funny thing- I totally support and understand and squeal with delight about your beautiful message… yes yes yes! I love that you declared your faith in such a clear and noble way. You KNOW I am all about the true meaning of Christmas! But- we have a elf. (Hangs head in shame)
It’s really fun and the kids have adopted “Little Chris” as their brother!! He is literally part of our family… I think it’s all about the message of it all. And I really agree with your take- had I read this before I started the whole thing two years ago, I probably wouldn’t be doing it!
It’s a pain in my rear every darn night to write notes of encouragement and hide the little sucker- but the kids literally talk to our ‘third kid’ for HOURS. It’s quite precious… so I’ll take it!
Love you post! Have you seen My Secret Angel and Me? The focus is on Jesus but there is still a little Santa in it. You hide an angel! http://www.mysecretangelandme.com
I love this post! Its so easy to get caught up in the fun stuff and miss the good stuff! We don’t have an elf either! I won’t pretend to have a deeper reason other than I don’t want another thing to do everyday! But your post is such a prefect reminder of what Christmas is all about. Gods love for us!