It’s usually public speaking that freaks people out.
Having to give a presentation, get up in front of a large group of people.
But that sounds easy to me. That’s always been easy for me.
There’s a purpose to it, there’s a point. There’s a beginning and an end.
That, I can do.
And over the years, I’ve gotten good at the one-on-one with a purpose. In a parent-teacher conference, networking for work. Having a goal in mind, I’m okay.
But small talk?
That’s my own personal nightmare.
Should I say anything? Will the other person think I’m a bitch if I don’t? Do I seem awkward? I know I’m awkward, so I probably seem that way.
Do they even want to be talking to me?
Would they rather be talking to someone else?
Would they rather I just be quiet? Maybe they really like the quiet, too. Maybe we’d both be much happier to sit in silence.
I fail at small talk.
Once I know someone and they know me, we can by-pass that and really talk. Or maybe it’s still considered small talk, but the comfort of knowing each other changes it.
Yet how do you get to the friendship part when small talk is just so hard?
My husband can talk to anyone, anywhere. And people like him. It’s easy for him. It’s just his personality. My youngest is like this, too.
But me? No way.
I know it’s part of being an introvert.
I don’t wish away this part of me: it’s too big of a part of who I am for me to want to change it.
Yet when I see the ease with which others can do it and how they are much more easily accepted than I ever have been, I wish I wasn’t quite so terrible at small talk.
I’m awful at small talk. I’m sort of like, “So hello. This weather, huh?” And then, silence.
My husband can also talk to anyone. I have friends who can do it too. Meanwhile, I just stand there like a lump.
My husband will talk to anyone. I overthink things. And I’m much happier sitting there with a book.
Hate small talk!!! That’s one of the reasons I only get my haircut once a year – don’t want to be in that awkward situation where I have to talk to hairdresser. Lol
LOL My hairdresser knows me well enough by now to just let me be quiet.
Oh my goodness, I saw the title and I was hooked. Saw the first line and wondered if we were separated at birth. 🙂
It’s not so much that I fail at small talk. I can be completely chatty and outgoing. It’s just that I don’t really like it. I would rather be alone or having a deep conversation (or simply joking around with friends, which is not the same as small talk).
I am an introvert trapped in an extrovert body!
No one would ever accuse me of being an extrovert. 😉
I am horrible at small talk, but I’m not all that sure I’m any better once someone gets to know me. Giving speeches of any kind freaks me out, but I can see your point – it’s thought out, rehearsed and has a defined start and finish.
It takes a long time to get to that comfortable point with someone, at least with me anyway.
I’m pretty good at it – only because I honed that over years of working in events management, public relations and marketing. It wasn’t a choice 🙂 But I think my skills have gotten rusty over the stay-at-home-mom years!
I can do it when there’s a point, like in a work situation. But just casual, hanging out at kids’ activities or something: nope!
Of course there are some people who seem like they’re good at small talk when they are really just faking it. That’s me according to my husband. I’m not so sure I agree with him. I have no desire to talk to someone about the weather or the upcoming dance performance. I’d rather sit in silence or talk about something important. I don’t have a very good poker face so I think people pick up on it.
I can do it, but it isn’t nearly as much fun as talking with good friends.
I just love your post! It has inspired me to be “real” about my freaking out when people come up to me while my children play at the park or when I have to get my annual teeth cleaning. Haha! Thanks for the genuine post!
I’m the person at the airport and on the plane that doesn’t talk. And when I’m at the store out and about I just keep to myself. I mean I can be friendly, and I’m nice and smile I just sometimes don’t have the energy to talk to strangers!
I’m the same way. Especially if it’s only an acquaintance- I am always afraid they won’t remember me
I pretty much assume someone doesn’t remember me. Then that gets awkward when they actually do.