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March 29, 2011 by: Shell

The People Of Walmart…I mean, the Gym

Hubs has claimed that our gym is like “The People of Walmart.” Okay, okay- it suits our purposes, but it’s never going to be featured as one of the most fabulous gyms around.

I really thought about taking pics for this post but I couldn’t figure out how to be discreet about it didn’t want to gross you out thought that would be rude.

Still, he’s so right- here are some things that I’ve witnessed that are big Gym Don’ts:

*Don’t workout in your jeans.  Jeans don’t breathe.  I try to be sensitive about things that cost money, but you can go to Walmart and buy yourself a pair of $5 sweatpants or shorts.

*Don’t wear bootyshorts. This is particuarly true if you are a man. A man who likes to lean over the elliptical, pushing your booty even further up in the air. None of us wants to see that. And even if you are a woman who is in fabulous shape, well, bootyshorts might be okay, even if it will make other women hate you. Just make sure that no one can see anything that they shouldn’t.

*Don’t use the treadmill in your flip flops or dress shoes.

*Don’t wear spandex. Just don’t. And neon spandex is a double no.

*Don’t forget that the girls need support.  Even if your girls aren’t very big, they are still going to be bouncing around. And can be seen through your tank top. And if they are big? Well, they shouldn’t be peaking out the bottom of your shirt. Say it with me: sports bra.

Gym Tips for Those Who Hate to Workout
Pour Your Heart Out: This Mom’s Body Image

Comments

  1. singedwingangel says

    March 29, 2011 at 7:06 am

    Bwhahah the last one got me. Although when I went to our gym I saw a woman on the treadmill barefoot. I was thinking ewwww seriously.

  2. Lisa @ Two Bears Farm says

    March 29, 2011 at 7:09 am

    Angel – I have to confess that I ran on our treadmill barefoot once – just out of curiosity. At least it wasn't a gym treadmill (ewww). And I got blisters from it – after just one mile!

    What always got me when we belonged to a gym was the people who were heavy sweaters that didn't wipe down after using a piece of equipment. So gross.

  3. Mommy Lisa says

    March 29, 2011 at 7:22 am

    there is this one lady who comes in wearing the grossest, most disgusting, yet revealing workout clothes. And I KNOW she is not poor – I don't know how she walks around in that nasty stuff. Looks like she just walked into the gym from doing yard work. bleh.

  4. Barbara says

    March 29, 2011 at 7:25 am

    This post and the comments had me cracking up! Almost enough motivation to join a gym … ALMOST!

  5. myevil3yearold says

    March 29, 2011 at 7:31 am

    I haven't seen you at my gym but it sounds like you have been there!

  6. Babes Mami says

    March 29, 2011 at 7:37 am

    Hahaha everytime I see old people out for walks/working out they are wearing jean shorts, dress shoes and a polo! Get some sweats guy!

  7. The Blonde Duck says

    March 29, 2011 at 7:52 am

    Are they seriously in flip flops on the treadmill? OMG.

  8. Jessica says

    March 29, 2011 at 7:53 am

    This is hilarious! In their jeans? With flip flops? Who goes to the gym like this??? So funny.

  9. JDaniel4's Mom says

    March 29, 2011 at 7:56 am

    I confess that I walked the track in the gym in jeans last week.

    I went to get a new gym card and JDaniel decided he wanted to spend time in the play room. I didn't have sweats with me.

  10. Diane says

    March 29, 2011 at 8:01 am

    You seriously saw someone on the treadmill in flip flops/dress shoes? wth?

  11. Kmama says

    March 29, 2011 at 8:11 am

    LMAO. Your gym really is like the People of Walmart.

  12. Erinsgobragh says

    March 29, 2011 at 8:15 am

    Are you serious you've seen people with flip flops and high heels on a treadmill!?

    You so have to make this a weekly post! I'd so be willing to do a cartoon for it every week!

  13. Heather says

    March 29, 2011 at 8:19 am

    I am fascinated. I want to see pictures, but then…………I really don't want to see pictures.

    WAlmart of gyms….that is a good comparison.

  14. Brittney says

    March 29, 2011 at 8:29 am

    bahahaha thats hilarious!!!

  15. Katina says

    March 29, 2011 at 8:38 am

    Treadmill with flip flops? Ok really? U are soooo right about the sports bra! Maybe it us just me but the girls bouncing around is so Not comfortable!

  16. Tiffany says

    March 29, 2011 at 8:38 am

    Oh my gawd! The visuals gross me out even without photos. When I was going to the gym there was this guy who was wearing short shorts and obviously no underwear. Well lets just say, I got a free peep show. It was very gross!

  17. Rochelle@AFamilyofLooneys says

    March 29, 2011 at 8:48 am

    Guys in booty shorts are just plain gross.

  18. The Toll House Cookie says

    March 29, 2011 at 8:53 am

    No photos necessary! Your title describes it all!! Great post!!!

  19. Mama Jules says

    March 29, 2011 at 8:57 am

    Yet again, people never cease to amaze me. I want to come to your gym just for the entertainment.

    Your tweets about bootyshorts guy always crack me up!

  20. MommyLovesStilettos says

    March 29, 2011 at 9:15 am

    LOL! I really think there are a few of those at EVERY gym. There are some at mine! πŸ™‚

  21. FreeFlying says

    March 29, 2011 at 9:31 am

    Let's not forget the beauty of cleanliness. My mom refuses to put on deodorant before she goes to the gym because "the whole point is to sweat." Then she'll go do body pump and pilates back to back. She's super fit. But she's also smelly.

  22. heidi @ wonder woman wannabe says

    March 29, 2011 at 9:40 am

    oh my! no visuals needed! yikes. flip flops, really? wowsers!

    we belong to a ywca – so generally people a pretty well covered/put together since it's such a family oriented type of place.

    however, once there was a gal who was working out in a verrrry thin WHITE sports bra.

    oh my.

    you better believe i filled out a comment card requesting that the staff create some type of dress code asking patrons to not work out in sports bras alone.

  23. Angelia says

    March 29, 2011 at 9:53 am

    ROFL! How can anyone work out in jeans! A point that I've noticed at our gym–guys shorts should not be to loose around the legs. When they sit on a machine, I don't want to see their business!

  24. Stephanie in Suburbia says

    March 29, 2011 at 9:59 am

    Wait, someone works out in flip flops???

  25. anSeL says

    March 29, 2011 at 10:02 am

    seriously? if i'm there, my stomach will hurt because I can't laugh out loud!

  26. Megan (Best of Fates) says

    March 29, 2011 at 10:06 am

    Exactly!

    That's why I only ever work out barefoot in my evening gown. (With the top removed, of course, my girls must taste freedom.)

  27. John says

    March 29, 2011 at 10:11 am

    Oh, dear god – I thought all of this was second nature. I cannot imagine working out in jeans. When I was a gym rat (I work out either at home or on the road now), there was a woman who would look overly neat – always in a collared shirt, khaki shorts, and a belt. I wanted to yell at her each & every day.

    I honestly cannot believe the number of women who run wearing only the compression layer…20 miles into a marathon, even a hardcore pervert like myself doesn't need to see cameltoe.

    By any chance to you watch Modern Family? Cam and the bike shorts (which aren't bike shorts but just compression shorts – actual bike shorts have so much padding that you need to really do something obvious to make "it" obvious through the clothing) crack me up.

  28. The Random Blogette says

    March 29, 2011 at 10:24 am

    I once stopped by a Lifestyles gym to look around and saw that one of the ladies was on the treadmill in jeans and I saw another one in full dress clothes. I about died!

    Luckily for us we go to the YMCA and there are signs posted that you must wear tennis shoes.

    I get grossed out by the nasty sweat hogs that don't wipe of the equipment. That makes me want to vomit!

  29. jayayceeblog says

    March 29, 2011 at 10:42 am

    Neon spandex *snort* — ahh, thanks for the laugh. And yes to sports bras!!!

  30. Denelle @CaitsConcepts says

    March 29, 2011 at 10:45 am

    Thanks. I'm now having booty shorts visions… I may have thrown up in my mouth a little. =\

  31. Jayme says

    March 29, 2011 at 11:12 am

    I will come to your gym and take pics for you. I have no shame.

  32. MiMi says

    March 29, 2011 at 11:28 am

    Seriously?!

  33. Pamela Gold says

    March 29, 2011 at 11:28 am

    I just experienced various images in my head while reading this and none of them were good. None.

  34. Dumb Mom says

    March 29, 2011 at 11:51 am

    What? Dress shoes?! Why? Personally I can't be bothered with Walmart or the gym for that matter:)

  35. Jennifer says

    March 29, 2011 at 11:57 am

    I don't want to see boobies or hienies at the gym. Or really anywhere else for that matter. I'm not insanely glad that the people at my gym dress appropriately.

  36. heavenisabookstore says

    March 29, 2011 at 12:08 pm

    Thank you for the laugh!! This cracks me up. I am so not surprised.

  37. Jen says

    March 29, 2011 at 12:33 pm

    Um, yeah. You got a crazy gym there. But what do I know, I haven't been in a gym in years.

  38. Kimberly says

    March 29, 2011 at 12:34 pm

    Who ever invented spandex should be punched in the taco.
    Thanks for the chuckle!
    I haven't been to the gym since I broke my back. I remember those odd people who just didn't seem to understand the dress code.

  39. PBJdreamer says

    March 29, 2011 at 12:34 pm

    say it with me SPORTS BRA

    heeeeeeeeee

    love this,

    that is all

  40. Courtney K. says

    March 29, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    Working out in jeans?! Wha?? And yes. Bootyshorts are a no-no…for everyone. Have some respect.

  41. tracy says

    March 29, 2011 at 12:42 pm

    See, this is why I do not go to the gym. gross.

  42. Kate says

    March 29, 2011 at 1:45 pm

    Sports bra! Oh my…pics would have been fabulous lmao

    My motto is…if you can fit in a garment that contains more than 1% of spandex material…get yo ass off the treadmill cuz their are people here who really need to use it!! And what is with people getting on the treadmill right beside you when there are 4 other ones way down? There should be a one treadmill space minimum! I don't need to be splashed with your sweat, yo!

  43. Renegades says

    March 29, 2011 at 2:09 pm

    Butts and boobies peeking out I'm not sure that's a walmart gym or free strip joint????

  44. Jessica says

    March 29, 2011 at 2:20 pm

    Use your iPhone to take pictures of just the clothes people are wearing without their faces. They won't know you are taking the picture because you can pretend that you are playing a game or something.

    What about pajama jeans? Are those acceptable to workout in? I have heard they are comfy.

  45. Orglamix says

    March 29, 2011 at 2:32 pm

    LOL! Can I print this and post it at my gym?!?

  46. angela says

    March 29, 2011 at 3:01 pm

    Do we go to the same gym? LOL

    This should be discreetly posted on the wall at my gym (and yours!)

  47. Not a Perfect Mom says

    March 29, 2011 at 3:53 pm

    how about-don't leave your undies face side up on the floor in the changing room?

  48. Tammy says

    March 29, 2011 at 4:07 pm

    Oh girl I am rofl…How do people get dressed in the morning and think "this looks good" and it is the worst thing ever!!! πŸ™‚ I just don't get it.

    Booty shorts….can we say scary??

  49. Lourie says

    March 29, 2011 at 5:19 pm

    Ewww on the man booty shorts. *shudder* Thank you for not taking a picture of that.

    The girls always need support no matter what.

  50. kc says

    March 29, 2011 at 6:11 pm

    I cannot decide if I should laugh out loud at this or be completely disgusted….I laughed at the thought of neon spandex and flip flops. Really???

  51. Sara says

    March 29, 2011 at 6:29 pm

    Hilarious… And let's not forget the invisible requirements also… (i.e. strong enough DEODORANT)

  52. 3LittleMonkeys says

    March 29, 2011 at 6:48 pm

    Working out in jeans? Oh my…sweat city…I wonder how they get them off afterwards???

  53. WhisperingWriter says

    March 29, 2011 at 6:50 pm

    How could a person work out in jeans? That is nuts!

    I have seen LOTS of people in Spandex. Granted, I've only been in a gym like 8 times, but still…

  54. Sonora says

    March 29, 2011 at 6:59 pm

    Hahahaha! Amen to the spandex one. I haven't been to the gym in awhile, but it appears that some things never change!

  55. Mama Marchand says

    March 29, 2011 at 8:04 pm

    Wowza. Sadly, our gym hasn't seen us in a LONG time … but, if what you mentioned are the current trends in gym wear, I think we'll cancel our membership. πŸ˜‰

  56. Sandra says

    March 29, 2011 at 9:23 pm

    Don't hate the spandex! I've had some very refreshing and calorie burning gut-busting laughs due to men in spandex!…I'm giggling as I type this at the mere thought of men in spandex!

  57. Jessica says

    March 29, 2011 at 10:10 pm

    This is great! Sometimes I wonder if people have a mirror when they walk out in spandex!!!

  58. Cheryl says

    March 29, 2011 at 11:21 pm

    1) Don't smoke right before you come in.
    2) Don't douse yourself with cologne right before you come in
    3) Don't cough and sneeze all over the equipment.
    4) Please release all gas in the bathroom and not on the treadmill next to me.
    5) Don't grunt like an animal when lifting heavy weights. Just go down in weight. Also, rack your freaking weights so I don't have to spend 10 minutes hauling 45s off the bar.

    Not that I'm bitter. At all.

  59. Lady Old Soul says

    March 29, 2011 at 11:48 pm

    LOL @ Cheryl!!! I was in our complex's fitness center the other night, and there was this freaking guy, you know the kind…lifts FAR more weight than he needs, and makes those roaring sex faces and sounds while lifting and staring at himself in the wall mirrors? UGH. I wanted to take the bottle of sanitizer spray over and spritz him in the face like you would do with a dog that barks at nothing. xD

    I absolutely LOVE POWm.com!!! The WalCreatures crack me the hell up, no matter what's going on that day. I've seen a few of those at our gym, too…YUCK!!

  60. Lady Old Soul says

    March 29, 2011 at 11:54 pm

    PS — ROTFLMFAO @ "punched in the taco"…*dying!* That was the best one, I have to say!!!!

  61. Kristin says

    March 30, 2011 at 12:09 am

    Sometimes I wonder if it would be best to work out blindfolded.

  62. Mommy Needs a Vacation says

    March 30, 2011 at 1:07 am

    Can we add to your list:
    "Old man, please stop talking and flirting with me. I am never, I repeat NEVER going to return the favor."

  63. Amanda says

    March 30, 2011 at 2:26 am

    LMAO! That's awesome, Shell…. our gym is quite like yours. We live in hippiville Oregon so you can only imagine the things we see.

  64. K Pugliano says

    March 30, 2011 at 6:09 am

    Oh my….How can one work out in jeans?? Eww. And flip flops on the treadmill? What is up with that??!

    This could certainly rival POW, with just your words! πŸ™‚

  65. Making It Work Mom says

    March 30, 2011 at 6:57 am

    WHAT!!! Now I confess I haven't been to the gym in awhile, but really people are doing that. Oh god makes me laugh!

    Next time though I want pictures!

  66. A Mommy in the City says

    March 30, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    Oh wow! Please tell me some of these are a joke?! I would love to spend a day people watching at your gym!

  67. Amber says

    March 30, 2011 at 1:12 pm

    I can't believe that some people actually do that!! who works out in jeans? or flip flops! or any of that! lol

  68. Charlotte says

    March 30, 2011 at 1:30 pm

    LMAO!!!!! Omg, I love this post. You should really hand out this list of "don'ts" at your gym πŸ™‚

    Also, seriously?! People work out in jeans??

  69. The Empress says

    March 30, 2011 at 4:43 pm

    Oh, thank you and YES!

    Do you know that this woman at the gym, not an attractive one, either, she wears NOTHING under her thin cotton T and too too TOO small booty shorts.

    Y.U.K.
    Her boobs and a** touching everything.

    IT is so gross.

    SO VERY GROSS.

  70. Jill says

    March 30, 2011 at 10:36 pm

    Ha! I live in a gay neighborhood and everyone at the gym is perfect and super stylish. Go figure. Just a little intimidating.

  71. Rebecca @ Unexplained X2 says

    March 31, 2011 at 7:11 am

    I feel so bad for some of the boobs at the gym…they're just so abused!

  72. Meghan says

    April 2, 2011 at 9:06 pm

    This is really too funny. I would love to see the pictures, but of course it would be impossible to take them. What I'm picturing in my mind is pretty hilarious though.

Welcome to Things I Can't Say: Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom. I'm Shell. Boy mom, beach girl, bookworm, ball games, baker, brand ambassador, Thinking yoga, food, and travel should start with "b," too. Finding the easiest way to do some things while overthinking so many others. Read More…

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