About Adrienne: Somewhere along the way I picked up homeschooling two boys and blogging. When I’m not scrubbing toilets or answering endless questions, I’m busy over sharing it all at the blog. My writing is always honest, sometimes sarcastic, and never perfect. Find me on Facebook and Twitter as @TheMommyMess
Sometimes I catch myself feeling left out of the mom world that was filled with diapers, breastfeeding, and all.the.opinions.
It’s weird, I know. Most of us just want that stage to pass and pass quickly, but then one day it happens, and for me, it’s bittersweet.
I no longer have a baby or even a toddler for that matter. My boys are big.
In early stages of motherhood, you can be the mom who’s disheveled, leaking breast milk, wearing yesterday’s dirty yoga pants, and it’s socially acceptable.
Having a baby on your hip or a toddler to chase is like having a free pass for everything, and some days I miss the motherhood pass.
No wonder! You’ve been up all night with the baby.
It’s totally understandable. Ya know, with the sore breasts and all.
Clueless, naive, unorganized?
It’s gonna be OK, honey.
There seems to be an umbrella of grace that new moms get to stay under for while, but when your children grow older society starts treating you differently. People expect more from you than they did in your days of barley keeping it together for good reason. Now, you’re still just barely keeping it together, and there’s no pass for you.
OR? This whole it gets easier mentality is all a big misconception. I do not have it all together, and never really feel like I do. So far, this stage isn’t easier. It’s equally daunting for different reasons.
I find that saying things like, “Oh, I’m sorry we’re late. It was so hard to get the kids in the car this morning.” is a really embarrassing excuse when your kids are 15 and 8, albeit true, it’s lame that I still can’t make it anywhere on time because of motherhood. I’m here to tell you young moms: No matter how old your children get, they will always move slower than usual when getting in and out of vehicle!
It’s not acceptable to still be a disheveled mom when you’ve reached the stage of motherhood where you’re actually supposed to have it figured out by now. It’s been fifteen years and I still feel like I don’t know anything more than I did on day one. Sure, I’ve learned many parenting lessons along the way, but I don’t actually feel any wiser.
Most of the moms I meet with kids my age are a little older than me. I started this motherhood gig fairly early in life and many of the other mothers with teens have a good ten years on me. That’s a lot more experience and plenty more wisdom. It’s a little intimidating to feel like I’m surrounded with wiser women who seem to have it more together.
When your kids are little, you have support groups you can go to that aid in keeping your sanity. You find mothers you can relate to and hopefully meet someone who gets it.
Play dates, MOPS, Mom’s Morning Out…you know the groups. They don’t have those for moms of big kids or teenagers. Not fair.
I’m officially seeking a support group for moms of 8 and 15 year old boys.
Also? I want my motherhood pass back.