I stood in amazement, listening to two moms discuss the horror of having boys. One who had all girls(the one who had prayed not to have a boy). One who had one boy and two girls.
How much one did not want a boy at all and how she wouldn’t have been able to handle it if she had. And the other saying how one was more than enough for her because her girls are just so much easier than her son and how she was so glad her last one was a girl.
They couldn’t take the noise, the dirt, the messes, the constant activity, the yucky stuff that boys like. Boys tend to be bad and they wouldn’t know how to handle that.
It’s probably a good thing I’d had a drink at that point or my head may have exploded from the pure stupidity.
As it was, I shrugged my shoulders and said “I love my three boys. I couldn’t imagine it any other way.”
And then I walked away to find someone else, anyone else, to talk to.
But what I wanted to say, oh, there was so much I wanted to say.
You realize that not all boys are alike, right? Sure, some are noisy, but some aren’t. And really? Do you think girls are never loud? Do you HEAR that shrieking coming from the other room? Those are girls(they may have even been girls belonging to the moms who were complaining about the noise of boys). Plus, even though I’ve been known to complain about how loud my boys can be… mine have also been taught inside/outside voices and they know when to use which(and I have no problem reminding them if they forget and *shocker* they listen to their mom).
The dirt and the messes. Again: girls aren’t messy or dirty? Maybe it’s different kinds of messes, different toys they strew all over the floor(toys they can be taught to pick up- boy or girl). Yes, my boys have been known to find mud puddles and stomp through them. But one of my nieces does the same.
The constant activity. Oh yeah, my boys are active. They like to run, ride their bikes, play soccer and basketball, swim in the ocean, climb up sand hills and roll down them, jump on the trampoline, chase around their uncle’s playful puppy, make up games of tag. They move. But not all boys are like this. Some prefer to be still. Just like some girls would rather be running around instead of (let’s see, what’s an obnoxiously stereotypical girl activity….) sit quietly in the corner and play with her dolls. Just because a child is moving doesn’t mean they are being wild: if you’re in a wide open backyard with your friends, it’s not bad to run around.
The icky stuff. I’d answer this one, but I just jokingly asked one of my boys if he wants a pet snake and I need to go pull him out from under my bed where he went to hide at the suggestion…. okay, I’m back. Again, a stupid stereotype. Not all boys like snakes and bugs and frogs. And some girls do.
As for boys tending to be bad and not knowing how to handle that… I have to call bullshit. You know what you do? You parent your child. You teach him(or her, yes, you have to teach girls, too) right from wrong. You give consequences when they’re bad, you praise when they do right. You model proper behavior. You teach them to be kind. You don’t throw your hands up in the air and whine “I can’t do anything about it!” You parent them. And you realize that, boy or girl, no child is perfect.
There are unique challenges to being a boy mom(and a girl mom, and a mom of both). And there are unique rewards to each, too. But you love your kids. No matter what.
Last Week’s #PYHO Highlights
- Why Every Mom Needs a Red Apron from Haven Help Us
- Be from The Kir Corner
- Silent Survivor from Simply Stavish
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