Sarah had a mind once. Now she has children. When she’s not wrangling her 3 sports-loving boyz (ages 12, 9 and 8), Sarah works full-time as a corporate paralegal at the Staples, Inc. headquarters. Sarah is a habitual nail-biter, Coke Zero drinker and wine-lover whose Trenches are located outside of Boston, Massachusetts. Her personal blog, In the Trenches of Mommyhood, chronicles her oftentimes guilt-riddled working motherhood journey – the good, the bad…and the boogers.
I don’t think anyone will disagree with me that female friendships are hard.
I have found that my friendships, and what I *value* in a friendship has evolved as I’ve gotten older, and surprisingly, as my children have gotten older as well.
Think about it: when you are a new mother with a newborn, you seek out others who are in the same boat–other new parents. You join parenting groups. Playgroups. New Mommy and Me classes. It really doesn’t matter if your babies get along at that point – they’re blobs!
But then, things start to change…schooling enters the picture. Suddenly you find yourself sizing up the other mothers on the playground…evaluating whether you could see yourself hanging out with them. At this point, you are still able to pick your child’s friends and arrange the playdates based on who YOU like.
Until suddenly, another shift happens. Your child actually dares to have an OPINION on who he’d like to hang out with! Which brings me to where I am today.
With boys ages 12, 9, and 8, I have sadly grown apart from some of the mothers with whom I used to be close. Nowadays, it seems my girlfriends are those who 1) have children my kids’ ages that my kids get along well with and 2) have similar parenting styles. And I’m happy and comfortable with that.