Laura is a military wife & Mama who loves Jesus, her boys (and soon to be girl!), Kentucky basketball, costume jewelry, traveling, flowers & good food. You can find her little corner of the web at Storybook Reality where she blogs about all of the above!
Today in the car on the way to meet Daddy for lunch I hear my three year old say,
“Mama. You are beautiful.”
Just about everything causes tears these days (I blame it on being almost 38 weeks pregnant) and this was no exception.
“Daddy says you are beautiful Mama. You are beautiful.”
I got it together and told him thank you. And that Mama loves to hear that. And then he proceeded to do this hideous noise and say “MAMA” as loud as he could at the top of his lungs. I hate that noise. The moment was over. But his words are etched into my heart.
* * *
I’ve been thinking a lot about words lately. Words and how they represent who I am. Blogging has been a place for me to record my thoughts and feelings. My words To record the boys’ milestones. To share my favorite pictures and recipes. And occasionally to connect with others who seem to “get” me.
When I started blogging it was purely to be a “Mommy blog” and to share pictures and moments with family scattered across the country. And then somewhere along the way page views and connecting it to other forms of social media and shares and likes and followers started crowding in. Instead of writing what was on my heart or in my head I started wondering what people would want to read about. I started wanting people to want to read. And when they didn’t I got upset.
What am I doing wrong? Why don’t I have more followers? Why am I not meeting up with my Insta-friends in real life?
I feel like I should add a disclaimer here because I don’t think any of these things are wrong. I love that blogging is an outlet for people. I love that it is a place for people to connect over issues and get support. I love that men and women are able to provide for their family by writing and sharing! These are just things that I had to deal with personally because I was looking at blogging the wrong way for me!
And then one day it was literally like God spoke to me and said,
“Is what I’ve given you not enough?”
And I realized that I was looking to a computer screen to validate myself. Likes and shares and followers were more important to me than actually liking and sharing moments. Moments with family. Moments with friends. Moments where I was learning something or experiencing something new.
So I took a month off. And it changed everything! I stopped looking at pageviews. I starting living my life and recording it for me and for my family again. The words that I write are MY story. Our story. It’s about the moments when my three year old brings happy tears and when we get to announce another baby. It’s about the things that are hard (cancer, deployments, crohns…just to name a few from the last 3 years). It’s about the lessons I’m learning and hopefully the ones I’m teaching. It’s about having a space to be me.
And if no one connects? That’s ok! It doesn’t mean I’m less of a Mom. Or not a good friend. It certainly doesn’t change the way I look in the eyes of the boys and this precious baby girl we can’t wait to meet. It doesn’t determine my worth. I believe I’m called to live life in the moment. Can I share that? Sure! But should I derive my worth from who reads it? Never.
And THAT is beautiful to me!!
* * *
Enjoying the everyday moments. Lately that’s meant more iphone pics and less camera pics. But that’s ok! Thankful for all of our time together!!
You’re a lucky gal with all those boys. I’m glad you’re taking a step back to appreciate what you have.
I know exactly what you’re talking about here. I’ve made a promise to myself not to even look at my pageviews anymore. Family first.
I have a page viewer installed in my blog footer – but honestly, I was happy it was just more than 1. LOL
I didn’t even know I could check this thing called stats via Blogger until last year. It was a bit obsessive at first, but then I realized I am just the kind of person who is going to write and post what I want anyway, so what’s the point in checking it constantly. Feedback is great of course, but yes – like you say, it cannot become all consuming.
LOVE that picture with you and your boy kneeling down by your head! that is perfection.
It was great to read this because I’ve been there and I’m still working on “changing” my point of view. Blogging changed for me when I started working again and had less time to devote to it but didn’t want to give it up completely… So now it’s turning more into a journal of our lives! Going to check out Laura’s blog now. 🙂
I am so very very guilty of this, ” Instead of writing what was on my heart or in my head I started wondering what people would want to read about. I started wanting people to want to read. And when they didn’t I got upset.” I started blogging YEARS ago and it was never about pageviews and shares then, but its so hard for me not to seek that validation knowing it exists. When I get a really popular post its like a high, I keep wanting to recreate it. I want to see the numbers grow and when they don’t it is SO disappointing. But you’re absolutely right that validation doesn’t actually MEAN anything. Thank you for sharing your post!
I totally get where she is coming from, but I don’t think I have it in me to disconnect for that long. My iPhone is attached to me at the hip lol.
I’ve never been one to focus on page views unless I need to know them so I got that covered but I totally get what you’re saying. Taking a step back and enjoying life is always necessary.
Your family is so beautiful! Really enjoyed this post and get where you are coming from.
I think that’s great that you took a step back to re-evaluate and prioritize what was right for you. You have a beautiful family!
I is tough, I know exactly how you feel. I can get wrapped up and obsessed with my blog, I have to remember family is first.
Recently my husband became very ill and it was so eye opening how important things are and the little things being so huge in my heart. Family first and treasure every moment 😉 <3
I love this. I think I’m getting to that “need a time out” period. I’ve definitely slowed down and let some things go to the back burner.
Congrats on your new little one coming soon!
Thanks for sharing this. I’ve had the same feelings. It’s hard to not get caught up in the numbers and I have to stop myself from checking my stats so frequently some days. I also have to give myself a break if I don’t post one day. Life happens and hopefully we’re enjoying it. 🙂 (And beautiful family!!)
Great post! I love posts that give perspective to blogging. I do love blogging but one can so easily get entirely too caught up in it. I still work a lot on the computer, but I get up at 5:00 in the morning and go to bed at 11:00, so I don’t take time away from my boys. The lack of sleep is totally worth it!
This is a great post! I know it’s so easy to get caught up in blog world and Instagram. It’s so good to take breaks from behind the screen and not even think about it. I get more inspired by not staring at my computer!
This is a very sweet post! I never take any moments for granted with my babies, ever. Even when they are being little naughty monsters! They grow so fast!!!
Sometimes we have to take a break from the cyber world. We can get neglectful of the real world if we’re not careful.
What a beautiful post. I just recently came back from a break myself. Blogging, numbers, page views etc. start to get the best of you sometimes. I am back and fresh and not worried about all that anymore.
I agree on enjoying the every day moments. Life passes so quickly, we have to enjoy what we have.
Great photos! I especially like the one where they’re walking away from you on the wooden path.
I’m happy you were able to find your balance! For me my site is my full-time job, so I can’t see myself not looking at my stats and all that, but I still try my best to turn things “off” when it’s time to enjoy family and friends.
I’m glad she found a renewed sense of purpose for her blog. She’ll never regret that shift in priorities.
I think more people will connect with the real you anyway! good for you!
I know it is real hard not to analyze the measuring tools for your blog but I think you made the right decision for your family. Kudos to you, Shell! Oh, and I loved looking at the pics of you and your family! I can’t wait to see pics of your newest addition when she arrives 🙂
This was so beautiful and you have such a beautiful family. I know what you man, I started my blog as a way to share with my friends and family but it’s turned into my full-time business. Sometimes I think about starting another blog so I can just WRITE!
I’ve seen where bloggers have taken that time off and they really do come back refreshed, renewed, and with a healthy balance. It’s important to keep those priorities in order in our lives, without one single doubt.
Such cute pics of your family. Isn’t it more important that they read your blog then just like it? I love that God spoke to you and yes what he gives us is enough!
We have all been there. Sometimes a break is needed.
Your son is so cute and your husband is setting a good example.
I agree! Sometimes it’s hard to keep it all in perspective. Sounds like you are doing a great job!
Sandy
Ohhhhh hold on to these moments. They are so special. My 7 year old tells me this a lot and it is usually when I look my worse
Love that she was able to take a step back and refresh. It certainly is overwhelming and exhausting at times. And I love all the iphone pics! We actually just bought the Co-Pirate shirts for both our boys.
it’s so easy to get wrapped up in what we think is so important. stepping away is a great wake up call
At some point in time, we all need to step back and realize what is important and what matters most to us.
What a bunch of cuties! I would definitely say that sometimes we forget what is important, and concentrate too much on the ‘business’ aspect of it all. Thanks for sharing!
These are beautiful pictures of a beautiful family. Sometimes I get caught up on taking pictures of my son and I never remember to get IN the picture with him. I need to start or else we will have a family album with “no mom.”
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