Steph is an inspired photographer, social media specialist, and brand ambassador. When she doesn’t have a camera in her hands, you’ll find her with a cup of coffee. She lives life in the Philly ‘burbs with her two boys and husband, taking it one latte at a time! Visit her blog A Grande Life.
“I don’t know how you do it!”
“Do what?”
“Stay at home with two kids and work and be amazing.”
Excuse me while I choke on my coffee for a minute. Friends, I don’t do it. I am far from amazing. It’s all smoke and mirrors. I just give off the appearance that I do do it all.
But I don’t.
Take a peek in my house unannounced and you will clearly see that I do not have it all together. It’s easy to give off that appearance online or over the phone. Kids are being cute and you want to Instagram that cuteness? “Oh hey, honey, can you move over to that corner of the room that’s not covered in toys or bits of breakfast from 5 hours ago? Thanks.”
Smoke and mirrors.
When it all comes down to it, if I am excelling at one thing, you can best believe I am failing at something else.
Cranking out articles and rocking the internet? The kids have been watching Spongebob for 4 hours straight and got their own snack of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
Take the kids to the zoo and don’t look at my phone the entire time? Come home to 5 urgent emails and several missed deadlines.
And I know it will happen. But I let it happen anyway. I can’t be everything to everyone every single time.
I tried that.
I failed even more.
And I needed to fail. I needed to see that it was ok not to be able to do it all, all of the time. It helped me realize that no one really has it all together. Sure, she might look put together or is always on time. But I bet you she left a sink full of dirty dishes or left that load of laundry in the washer.
If she tells you otherwise, she’s lying.
Smoke and mirrors, my friends.
Smoke and mirrors.
Michele C. says
September 20, 2013 at 9:33 amSo very, very true. Which reminds me, I have dinner crumbs from last night to clean up. Oops.
Shannon@MishmashMama says
September 20, 2013 at 9:39 amFor real, girl. Preach. Seriously, My life is a disaster most of the time!
Anna Hettick says
September 20, 2013 at 9:57 amOH yes, I’ve FINALLY started realizing that there’s ALWAYS going to be something else to do, somewhere else to go. Doing it all is a myth.
Jayme says
September 20, 2013 at 10:00 amYou’ve described my life LOL
Arnebya says
September 20, 2013 at 10:03 amI have learned that we can’t control what others think when they see what bits they see of our lives. Just because I am showered and my clothes aren’t filthy or mismatched doesn’t mean I don’t have piles of laundry in my living room or that my bathrooms don’t smell like someone shit on the walls (seriously, between poop and pee, the bathrooms stink like it’s a damn boarding house for bathroom-abusive vagrants). As long as we’re not purposefully lying about the greatness of our lives, people will think whatever they think. The key is unintentional smoke and mirrors.
Amy says
September 20, 2013 at 10:13 amI understand, trust me… Against my will, I became a single mom last year when my husband entered cancer treatment… the end is finally in sight. I dream of the day when I become a part of a parenting team again!
molly says
September 20, 2013 at 11:24 amIt’s good to know I’m not alone in the smoke and mirrors!!!
Sherry says
September 20, 2013 at 11:37 amSteph I love the honest of your post.. hey we all are there. I feel that way all the time and my kids are older. I feel like the overall they are turning into wonderful people. So my point , you might not think you can juggle it all, you are doing great your a mom and your own women. That is something to be proud of.
Gina Badalaty says
September 20, 2013 at 11:50 amAnd thank God for smoke & mirrors! People would never accuse me of being “put together”, but they’ve said other complementary stuff that assures me they have NOT seen the clothing apocalypse going on in my laundry room right now or the ant farm I discovered in pizza box that wasn’t quite properly disposed. And those handprints on the wall? No, it was NOT a burst of creativity I let my child have. I just framed so you’d think so…
JDaniel4's Mom says
September 20, 2013 at 11:50 amI just read in a book that we look at others outside and compare them to our insides. It is like comparing apples and oranges.
julie gardner says
September 20, 2013 at 12:55 pmSmoke and mirrors…oh yes.
We must have the same interior designer 🙂
just JENNIFER says
September 20, 2013 at 1:29 pmTotally smoke and mirrors! I don’t have all the same responsibilities you do, but there are still some smoke and mirrors going on here too. Sssh, don’t tell anyone.
Amber says
September 20, 2013 at 3:01 pmSo true! And oh, my daughter LOVES cinnamon toast crunch as a snack. They are pretty dang tasty.
The Dose of Reality says
September 20, 2013 at 7:57 pmSo. Very. TRUE!!! I can do it all…just not at the same time. NEVER at the same time, actually. Something has to give. If it seems otherwise, it IS just smoke and mirrors! I love people who tell it like it is!! –Lisa
Lauryn says
September 20, 2013 at 9:31 pmTellin’ it like it is:) A perfect recount of what life is like as a mom of little ones! I love the analogy!
Amanda Jillian says
September 20, 2013 at 10:47 pmSign it sister!
Leah Davidson says
September 21, 2013 at 7:31 amI think that’s the reality for most! We do what we can do but it’s often just putting out the most urgent fire!
Julia says
September 21, 2013 at 8:14 amYes1 If one area of life it well put together than another area is falling apart. Great post!
Rosaria says
January 26, 2014 at 9:37 pmThank you, I have jist bewn llooking for information approximately this topic
forr a long time and yours iis the greatest I have founbd out till now.
However, what about thee conclusion? Are you positive concerning thhe source?
testosvit.com says
February 9, 2014 at 9:36 amWe’re a group of volunteers and opening a neew scheme in ouur community.
Your wesbsite offered us with valuable information
to work on. You have done an impressive job and ouur whole community will be
thankful to you.