You could judge me for the age I was when I had my first baby. For where I was living, I was an older mom. For where I’m from, I was a young mom. I’ve heard it from both sides.
You could judge me for the way I chose to give birth to my babies(I had one all-natural birth and one with a little bit of pain management assistance and one who was induced and with an epidural). Go ahead- I’m sure you could find fault with one of those ways.
You could judge me for breastfeeding. You could judge me for sometimes looking longingly at a bottle of formula and being relieved instead of sad when it was time to wean.
You could judge me for how close in age my boys are- my first two are just shy of 17 months apart(totally planned, y’all) and my middle and last are almost exactly 2 years apart. Maybe that’s too close for you.
You could judge me because I at various points used a “leash” on one of my boys. I decided that being in a super crowded place with three little ones under 4 made it the right decision for us. But you could look at that leash and freak out.
You could judge me because I chose to “waste my degree” and stay at home with my boys. Or maybe you think that’s the right decision, so you could judge me for the time when I worked outside the home. Or now, when I work full time from home.
You could judge me for being too easy on my kids… or being too hard on my kids. Since I tend to fall somewhere in the middle, you could really accuse me of both, depending on what day of the week it is and what my boys are doing.
You could judge me for sending my children to a private school. And then judge me for sending them to public.
You could judge me for choosing to medicate my child for ADHD. Or you could judge me for waiting so long to do so.
You could judge me for occasionally feeding my kids fast food and letting them have ice cream as a treat.
You could judge me for letting my boys watch tv and play with iPads and a DS and whatever other technology. Or you could judge me for not letting them use them enough.
You could judge me for how many sports my kids play. Or judge me for not letting them get involved with more than one sport a season.
It just goes on and on and on.
We all make different decisions in our parenting. To be honest, I often make different parenting decisions for each of my boys because they are so different. And if I don’t have the magical answer for what the “right” way to parent is for my own kids- born so close together, to the same parents, living in the same house- how can I tell you that the only right way to parent is the way I do it and criticize you for doing something different?
I totally get it that sometimes we hear another mom talk about what they are doing and we think “Oh, that’s not for me, that’s not how I do it.” There’s nothing wrong with that. But that doesn’t mean we need to berate another mom for making different decisions than we do.
All of us moms are just doing the best that we can, in the way that we feel is right for our kids. It looks different to each of us. This mom gig is hard enough without the judgement. So, let’s try to stop it, okay?
I want to encourage you to sign the StrongMoms Empowerment Pledge because it has such a great message that we should all be behind: I pledge to create a more supportive and less judgmental environment by empowering moms to feel good about the decisions they make for their children and their families.
What parenting decisions have you made that you have felt judged about?
I did some work with the StrongMoms campaign at Blissdom. However, I was not required or even asked to write a post. This is an issue I feel really strongly about, so it lent itself to a Pour Your Heart Out post and I hope that y’all will sign this pledge as well!
Click if you want to find out more about Pour Your Heart Out. Remember, it’s about what you want to pour out: it’s personal, so there isn’t an assigned topic. It’s also about being supportive of others who are sharing: so visit other linkers and be kind with your comments. Please add the button from the sidebar or add a text link to your post if you are joining in.