Things I Can't Say

Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom

Pour Your Heart Out: Too Many Glasses to Count

If you need more info about Pour Your Heart Out, see THIS post.
But, really, it’s anything that YOU consider pouring your heart out.

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Be sure to check out some of the links- you will find some amazing stories out there.
Again, just a brief reminder that everyone linking is pouring their hearts out and we should all be respectful in our comments. 😉

 

When I was in high school and college, I kept journals. I wrote down all the things that were happening and my thoughts on life. Stop laughing.
When I was packing to move away from home for my first teaching job, I actually threw out my high school journals. If I remember correctly, it was a dramatic gesture on my part that I was leaving the past behind me. Or my behind in the past. Whichever.  Thank you, Lion King.
But, I kept my college journal.
Most of it is pure drivel. And I can see now, looking back, how I should have done things differently. How plain it is to see now. I want to go back in time and say to myself  “Reread what you just wrote and THINK about it!”
Mostly, it was good for a few laughs at myself as I skimmed it the other night.
But, I found this entry, written on May 15, 1999, when I was a senior in college, that is my 21 year-old self pouring her heart out. And so, that’s what I’m sharing with you today. Unedited- except for the spacing. Because no one want to read a big block of text.

I’m writing this not because I’m in an especially good mood or even an especially bad one.
I’m writing for later times, when I will feel hopeless.
Because now, I have hope.
I don’t know what the future holds.
I have no idea how my life will change.
But, I take comfort in the fact that it will change.
That I can never predict what will happen, but that everything happens for a reason.
What seems impossible today will seem silly later.
I have to have confidence in myself and faith that everything will be alright.
Because things can always get better.
I need to remember to have hope.

Start thinking about the Cutest Pet Contest coming next week!
Sponsored by Tooth Soap® and hosted by Supah, Chief, and yours truly.

Comments

  3. That's really beautiful. I like the idea of gathering hope for future times when it might not be so readily available. I think it's amazing that you had that kind of insight at such a young age!

  4. I agree with Laurel! I don't think I had that insight waaayyy back then. It's like you were taking care of the future you. It's a beautiful post!

  5. It is insightful and beautiul. Hope is what keeps you going when life sucks! I only had 1 or 2 journals and I have them…they are all about my crazy relationship with a man 21 years older…that could make for some good pour your heart out drama.

  6. Shell, that was really beautiful and I think it is wonderful you shared that. What a neat thing to look over your old journals

  7. You had some great insight at 21! Insight that most of us don't have at our age! I have a couple of journals and one is about hubby when I was 18…hilarious to read now!

    xoxo, big sis!

  8. I kept journals too, but I never wrote anything that insightful.
    I only ever wrote things like:
    Dear Journal,
    Today has been a pretty good day. I woke up, got dressed, went to school, blah, blah, blah.

    Lol!

  9. What a profound journal entree for a 21 year old! You are totally a writer! Especially since you had journals your whole life. I have journals from every year of my life. (I've slacked since I've been married for some reason) Anyway, I really need to take the plunge and throw a few away! If I died tomorrow, it would be pure horror knowing people were reading these embarrassing entrees I wrote! Although, I might have to keep a few of them. 🙂

    Looks like you were right in your writing! You seem to be in the exact place in life that you wanted. I still can't wait to see what the future holds in my life. There will always be ups and downs, and there is always hope for our dreams!

  10. I too wrote journals at school and also threw them out later. I kind of wish I hadn't!

  11. Great entry!
    I still keep a journal today for my kids but my high school ones i cant find but i stil lokk back on the ones i do have on my kids and read over them. I think keep a journal are a vlog is on inportant

  12. Wow Shell that was very deep. How cool that you can look back and go hmmm maybe I knew a lot more then I gave myself credit for back then..

  15. That's such a great entry at such a young age. I use to keep one up until I had my second child and I love looking back on entries I wrote.

  16. Love it! I remember having hope…what a good time!

    I, too, threw out journals and old pictures as a grand gesture…I wish I hadn't.

  18. Well said!! I wish I had kept journals or something like that back in my college days. What a fun thing to find!

  19. have never ever kept a journal. too afraid that someone will read it one day!

  20. Your 21 year old self sure was grown up…more grown up than I am sometimes now. It's hard to look past the right now and see that things will change and get better. I hate wallowing. It's just not helpful.

  22. I love that you wrote this when you were a wee babe. I hope it's come in handy over the years.

  23. Very insightful for that stage in your life. I bet your glad you kept that journal!

  24. I agree, this is beautifully written and wise beyond your (at the time) years. A great message and something we all need to always remember.

    I have been meaning to hop over to your blog for a long time, but I am finally here and glad I made it.

  25. Look at how smart you were even then. And while I've always known you were my bloggie twin, I totally kept journals in HS and College, I'm freaking out because now I'm 3 whole years older than you. No wonder you're so good at Sexy Mom…

    p.s. I linked up today for pour your heart out…it's my first one, so excited.

    Lots of yummy love,
    Alex aka Ma, What's For Dinner
    http://www.mawhats4dinner.com

  26. What a clever blog post from the College Shell.

    Funny you are mentioning your journals, as I just blogged about journaling and mentioned you there.

    LisaDay

  27. Such wisdom. 🙂

    And I LOVED The Lion King reference!! hahahaha! Made me laugh!

    Yeah, yeah I loved that movie too! Big surprise.

  28. Those moments in our lives that are so life altering (graduation, marriage, birth) bring great emotions and hope. How cool to have a written record of that time!

  30. Wow! You sure were one smart 21 year old!

    I would be scared to read any of mine. I hope anything I ever wrote down is long sitting in a landfill somewhere!

  31. That was beautiful. Such great advice to yourself. Glad you can look back on it.

  32. Great advice! And I'm envious – I always wanted to be one of those girls who wrote in a journal every day, but I was just far too lazy.

  33. Your 21-year-old self was a wise woman indeed. As long as you have hope, you have the world at your feet. Or so I think on a good day.

  37. You have inspired me to look up some of my old journals and see what I was writing. You were already a smart girl at 21, I love the "what seems impossible today, will seem silly later" That is really true…even still today.

    Dee

  41. Well color me happy, those are pretty smart words for a 21 year old! I think at 21 was pretty busy wondering where my Accounting book was and picking vomit out of my hair.

    I currently keep journals to my boys. Don't know if I'll ever give them to them, but I like reading about the things we're going through.

  42. Your 21 year old self was far more mature than my 21 year old self. I'm impressed!

  43. This is awesome! I just happened to write a post today for another party I participate in….turns out I was pouring my heart out, then came across your party….perfecto! Thank you.

  45. I'm not laughing! I kept similar journals though high school and a lot of college. I still have them, and I go back to re-read them sometimes, often looking for what I was doing/feeling/thinking, say, 10 years ago today.

    Like you, I find it amazing, in some entries, the wisdom my younger self had. The words I wrote that serve as a timely or helpful reminder to my future self.

    Thanks for sharing, I know it's difficult and scary to put your private words out there like that.

  47. How do you come up with stuff every week like this?

    Cutest pet? How come I wasn't informed. Can I enter myself?

  49. I really like that! MUCH more insightful than any of the brooding stuff I wrote in my journals when I was younger. I thought I was all poetic. If I ever posted any of it on my blog, I'd be laughed right off the internet.

  50. I loved this. I have only in the last few months started to keep my journals. I regret the decision to "move on from them" and throw them away as soon as I'm done filling it….

  52. this is beautiful. i think you should regularly read back. you'll never know when you'll find jewels such as this 🙂

  53. well that was just perfect for me to hear right now! I agree things always do get better 😉

  54. What a great post and journal entry. Man, maybe I should post this on my wall 🙂 If only more people had this same outlook on life. This is wonderful!

  55. That's pretty deep insight for a 21-year-old! It's also just want I needed to 'hear' right about now. Not sure I'll link up today. Not sure I'm 'allowed' to post what is on my mind/heart. We'll see …

  56. Wow, I'm pretty sure I know people way over 21 who haven't grasped those insights yet. Thanks for sharing with us 🙂

  57. I kept a journal through high school, as well. I started keeping one when I was probably ten or so. Still have them. Interesting to read those! He, he, he. Come visit me at Mama's Little Chick!

    http://www.mamaslittlechick.com

    Mama Hen

  58. I love journal entries. I still have all of my old ones. I did, however, take out the last page and burn it after I got married. It was a……oh nevermind, lol. It was a tally if you can figure that out!
    Did you get your ring? Do you love it?

  59. crap! I forgot to link up!!!! will be back.

    Loved this post!
    😉

    Mostly my old journals make me cringe….

  61. A few years ago looking through one of my high school year books I found a letter written to a guy I dated on and off from age 17-25. It was bizarre to read my words almost 10 years later and see how far I'd come emotionally.

  63. I really want to join in some time.. I know I will. I read on post from a friend that was linked up and she is amazing..
    As was this post. I think there is always hope..

    Have a great day..

  65. That's awesome that you kept those journals! You were sure very insightful and wise at that young age….as I'm sure you still are, except even wiser now. How wonderful to look back and read what you were thinking.

  66. You were a very wise 21-year old. My old journal entries all make me want to cringe or roll my eyes. Such a pessimist I was.

  67. Shell, you showed great wisdom in the phrase, "What seems impossible today, will seem silly later." I have always abided by that and passed that wisdom on to my own girls in so many ways.

    What you worry and fret over now, you won't even remember in the years to come. So, unless it will impact your life forever, let the worry go.

    And also, what you find insurmountable today, will seem so easy when you look back, so always go for it, no matter how insurmountable.

    That was a beautiful journal entry. I'm glad you saved it and I'm glad you shared it. Thank you.

  68. I never had a journal. I do have notebooks full of quotes but no journal. I wish I had.

    You were pretty smart at 21 to have those thoughts.

  69. Love it! Makes me want to dig out some old journals and see if I had sage advice to my older self from a younger and hotter me! Thanks for joining my blog! 🙂 Lo

  70. What a great entry. I have always written, always kept journals- and wish more than anything I still had them. What a great thing to get to reflect on.

    Thank you for hosting this! Sometimes it helps having a "reason" to get it all out!

  71. That is a wonderful entry. How encouraging it must be for you to read now.

  72. There are a lot of dramatic gestures that I regret doing now, but at the time it seemed like the right thing to.

    Anyway, beautiful entry. I love going back and reading some of the stuff I wrote. Sometimes it's good to go back to those times, when you weren't stressed out with kids and a husband and running a family, and trying to make it in this world…and remember what really matters. What you knew then…and what you need to know now.

  73. What an awesome journal entry! Great thing to remember during a time when you're feeling down. Thank you for sharing!

  75. Wow! Thats really very meaningful for a 21 yr old. Im not sure I was ever sober enough to write anything at all when I was 21.

  76. Somewhere packed up in storage I have my old journals from high school and after. I don't know that I was that hopeful back then…in fact I know I wasn't. Thank you for sharing your hope from across the years! What a blessing!

  78. I through out all my journals. Which really sucks because they're always fun to go back and read. Especially the high school ones. It's so funny what to look back on what you "thought" was important.