Things I Can't Say

Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom

Pour Your Heart Out: Little Boy Cuddles

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Again, just a brief reminder that everyone linking is pouring their hearts out and we should all be respectful in our comments. 😉


 

I’m a girl who likes her sleep.
Not just likes it, but loves it. Needs it.
Not a few hours, but a full night’s sleep.
Or I get cranky and miserable.
So, those nights up with a newborn were torture for me.
I lived in a fog, trying to figure out when I could get some rest.
And then once my babies were old enough to sleep through the night, oh, how I loved that. Slight bumps with teething or illnesses or nightmares could put me in a bad mood.
And my bed? Well, it’s MY bed.
Oh, and Hubs’s bed, too, of course.
Small children invading and stealing my pillow, blanket, and space is not high up there on my list of things that make for a good night’s rest. Kicks and failing arms, snoring…. nope. Get back in your own beds, kiddos. 

Well, except when Hubs is out of town. And then I occasionally make an exception.
Except that lately, our youngest has been finding his way into our bed in the middle of the night. And I don’t want to get up to move him back.
And our middle comes down when he wakes up at some unholy hour of the morning and cuddles.
I look at their sweet little faces… those cute little noses, the fluttering eyelashes, the soft skin, the crazy hair….
Their little heads buried against me or Hubs. Arms around us.
And I realize… this won’t last much longer.
Already, my oldest only occasionally wants to sit in my lap or snuggle in to watch a movie.
They are getting so big, so fast.
Soon, they’ll scoff at the idea of sharing a pillow with mom.
They won’t fit in my lap or even want to be there.

They’ll be too big for me to carry them when they fall asleep in the car on the way home. 

They’ll retreat to their own rooms and lock the door, wanting their own space.
They’ll roll their eyes at the idea of snuggling mama on the couch.
Maybe I’ll be lucky and they will still give me a kiss and a hug… as long as their friends aren’t around, anyway.
But, these moments when they want to want to sleep in mommy and daddy’s bed… they aren’t going to last much longer.
I’ll take little boy cuddles over a full night’s sleep.
Because soon enough, I’ll be kept awake by the antics of teenagers.
So, I’ll cherish these moments while I can still get them.

So let them be little ’cause they’re only that way for a while 

Give them hope, give them praise, give them love every day 
Let them cry, let them giggle, let them sleep in the middle 
Oh just let them be little  -“Let Them Be Little,” Lonestar

Comments

  1. Shell – I never rocked the twins to sleep … etc. I mean – I was one person and they outnumbered me. And they slept through the night be 3 months. But still… they won't fall asleep in my arms – and it makes me sad. I'm glad you are getting some cuddles in.

  4. Oh, how alike we are Shell. I am the same way with my sleep but have been thinking the same thoughts with my lil boys. Little b was in our bed again last night and I layed there and thought those same thoughts…. for an hour… ugh LOL

  5. I figure, I've had 30 odd years of sleeping through the night, so giving up a few years to be with my little boy? No biggie 🙂

  6. I LOVE that poem, Shell. You are so right, they are only little for a while. I'm growing to enjoy napping with my almost three year old. Sometimes…I'm a lover of sleep myself, like you.

  7. It doesn't happen often but my 18yo will sometimes sit beside me on the couch and lay his head on my shoulder. He's definitely too big to get in my lap, but for these fleeting moments he's little again. Enjoy these moments with your little guys, because it truly does go by so fast.

  8. Seriously, GET OUT OF MY HEAD! I wrote mine this morning about babies in bed. Though mine is going in the oppositie direction 🙁 Let them cuddle…it is precious.

  9. OH I miss those moments too. All of mine are too big for snuggle time with us anymore unless they are sick.. this is so well put and beautiful.

  10. OMG, I was just lamenting this same fact to my neighbor with two teenage sons. She told me the other night when we had really bad storms BOTH her boys crawled into bed with them. It gave me a giggle to know teenagers still wanted a snuggle with mom and dad.

  11. I feel the same way! I still let my girls sleep with me esp. when hubby is out of town. Even when he is IN town, they still manange to get in our bed from time to time. I am a sucker for it! I agree with you, it won't be long and the hugs and cuddles will become less and less! Cherish the time!

  12. Oh, savor those snuggles! My "baby" used to come in every morning and snuggle up, but now, with school schedules and important other thing to do (like play Legos) I don't get my morning fix anymore. I miss it. {sigh} Suck up every moment.

  13. Yes, they do become "big" boys so very, very fast. Now I'm lucky if one of them sits beside me on the couch.

  14. Awww so true! Soon they'll be teenagers, and you'll wonder where did my sweet cuddly boys go? Enjoy and soak it in momma! 🙂

  15. I am all about the cuddling. Somehow I can just never SLEEP when the kiddo is in my bed. But the cuddling? I am all for it!

  16. I think we all have our moments where we go against our promise to never let our kids do something.

    I am nasty when I don't have enough sleep. My mom still tells people not to talk to me until I've had coffee. The husband agrees.

    But sometimes I'm ok laying awake with a child sleeping in bed next to me, with their foot up my nose.

  17. And chances are, after they get over that hormonal teenage bullshit, they'll want to sit in your lap again.

    Well, you might be sitting in their laps if they grow to be lumberjacks but I suppose that remains to be seen.

    I say squeeze 'em and smoosh 'em. They're little so they'll probably bounce back to their original shapes, right?

  19. Such good points, Shell! It really doesn't last that long. Only on the days when we haven't had a lot of sleep, it seems that way.

    We do need to enjoy it while we can!

  20. I am recently realizing what I am missing by not allowing some things within our family structure. Like sharing my bed on occasion with the kids.
    It got me to thinking about why, I am that way. Sadly, I realized I was raised that way myself. Now, my kids will probably raise theirs that way 🙁

  21. I wish I would have read this before D got up at 5 am and would only lay on the couch for brief moments at a time this morning. I would have LOVED for him to climb in my bed LOL But you're right, they're only little once…

  22. I love my sleep too but agree that it won't be long before those hugs and cuddles are only memories so we need to take them while we can get them 🙂

  23. I was so adamant about making Chessa fall asleep on her own at about 6 or 7 months, that it became the only way she could or would fall asleep. When she was teething or sick, i couldn't cuddle her and make her feel better and I hated every second of it. Cole was such a snuggler that I thought it would be different for him, but now he's fighting me too at night, not letting me rock him or hold him at bedtime and I think he's going to be the same way.
    I already miss the nighttime quiet sweet cuddles. I say hold onto those moments as long as you can.

  24. That's finally the point I got to as well. Those first few weeks of night wakings were so hard because I value my 12 hours of sleep. But I've really come to love the early morning snuggles and snoozes with my baby.

  25. I used that song in Buddy's first photo slideshow. It always makes me tear up.

    I was honestly thinking about this this morning. Buster was coughing his head off and I thought about bringing him into my bed, but he's like his mama, and he really prefers to sleep on his own, so I just let him be. Most times I love that my kids want to be in their own beds, but there are times (few and far between!) where I miss that cuddling.

  26. You are so right! Those morning snuggles are priceless…and I feel like bc we are mom's of boys we have to cherish those even more!

  27. Oh, I have been feeling the SAME way lately! Letting my 4 year old climb into bed with us doesn't feel bad or wrong or frustrating the way it used to. Now I almost can't wait for him to show up…

  28. I so needed to read this today, especially since my toddler crawled into our bed at 4 am which made for a hectic and sleep deprived morning. I really need to start appreciating the cuddles a lot more!

  29. Alex sleeps with us sometimes. I know I should be stricter on him but…really, he's not always gonna want to sleep in the middle.

  30. I think this is one of my favorite posts ever of yours Shell. The days go by much too quickly. Mine have been climbing in our bed a lot lately too but they will be 4 on Sunday so I'm soaking it all up.

  31. Snuggles, love them … my 13 yr old still wants you to snuggle at night and rub her back … hope it never ends!

  32. It's funny, I posted about sleep today and I just commented on another blog about getting those snuggles in while you can.
    I miss those snugg1y baby days!

  34. I agree! I cried when my husband wanted our youngest out of our bed. It took a long time to adjust to sleeping without a little arm wrapped around me.

  35. So sweet!

    I look at my little sister who, I swear, turned 8 over night and I think the same things about her. She's ALREADY so grown up – and it won't be long before she's even MORE grown up.

    Uh. The though – makes me want to cry!

  36. I actually dream about sleep . . . it's gotten that bad. But, I love baby cuddles way too much to do anything to radically correct the serial lack of sleep.

  37. My little guy has been coming into our room around 3am every night…and I actually love it! It started when the hubster was out of town a lot and I let him sleep with me, so now he is used to it. I keep saying that in a few years, he will lock us OUT of his room and do GOD KNOWS WHAT IN THERE…so I'm taking the last bit of him being a little kid while I can get it!

  38. If I didn't do what you're doing now, I know I'd be drowning in regret now that two of mine have passed on.

    So you just keep on doing what you're doing Shell and soak up every single minute 🙂

  39. You are such a better mom than me. I cannot stand sharing my bed, because I too need a full nights sleep.

    I am just really thankful that since the day they were born my children slept through the night.

  40. We are soooo alike. I complain about Jacob sleeping with me and Gio sleeping with John and , the kicking etc…BUT I also know that they won't be little much longer and to have them next to me is a gift..I inhale their little heads and just exhale. 🙂
    Love that song too…it's on a CD I have and we listen it to almost every night.

  41. Seriously. As one who woke up last night with a little person in our bed, who was fine when she slept, but the talking? Not so much. So I took her to HER bed and wound up sleeping with her there the rest of the night. Oops. Cuddles rock. Sometimes I hope they'll last forever. OK — all the time!

  42. I'm definitely on the same page as you Shell. We always make a point to have BG1 sleep in her own bed, but if she creeps over, we won't deter it because soon she won't even wanna be around us, let alone sleep in the same bed & cuddle with us (ahhh, the joys of teen years).

  43. I love my sleep, too. And my bed. But oh, how I love to snuggle with my little guys. I echo your thoughts here; it's all so fleeting.

    I've gotten my first eye roll when I dared talk to him in front of his friends… the no-cuddle-zone can't be far behind.

    I wish I could remember this all day, every day. They're only little for a little while. I need to soak them up!

  46. A woman after my own heart…I love me a good night sleep and without it I'm very cranky.

    Our four year old has been climbing into our bed every night for the last two years. It started after my sister and her husband were killed in a car accident as has continued after my nieces then moved in with us. It's like he wants to make sure we're still there. It drives both of us crazy, but we don't have the heart to send him back. Too soon, the days of no cuddles and hugs will come like they did with his older brothers.

  47. This made me so sad to think that my little {7 month old} will one day be reaching the non-cuddle stage. I want him to stay my little baby boy forever. 🙁

  48. So true, Shell. AJ is still getting into bed with me in the middle of the night, and I gotta admit, I don't hate it.

  49. I know what you mean. I love cuddles with my 5 yr old. Hubs gets annoyed but she's so warm and fits right in the crook of my body. But yes I do not sleep as well. For being so tiny she takes up a LOT of room.

  50. I love sleeping in my bed alone… it happens once in a while the husband goes away.
    You're right… all to soon they won't want cuddles. Cherish the moments while you can.

  52. I love sleeping with my babies when they are small. When they are bigger…not so much. As we've gotten older, my sweetie has asked me to keep the babes on the outside since he sleeps pretty soundly. I love the snuggles.
    Sandy

  53. Yes, exactly this. It is so hard for me not to give in to a lot of things because I know that they won't last.

  55. I absolutely love my sleep. My toddler has started coming into our bed in the middle of the night. Even though I don't sleep soundly when he's with us, I love the cuddles and snuggles more. I know it won't last forever so I'm soaking it up now.

  57. I have a vivid memory of a time when I was home for Christmas my freshmen year of college and I lay on the couch by my mom and snuggled- but yes- those moments soon will be rare and gone 🙁

  58. Just last night my little one came into our room at about 2AM and asked me to take her to the bathroom (something must have spooked her). I took her and then asked her what bed she wanted to go back to. She gave me a little look and then said yours. I let her crawl in the middle and snuggle with us on a perfect fall night. It really was heaven. And now I am crying.

    *thanks* 🙂

  59. I'm a lot like you when it comes to my sleep. I need undisturbed rest, and several hours of it. But our little guy has started this middle of the night crawl in our bed thing, too. And I just don't have the heart to move him. For all of the same reasons you mentioned.

  60. Hey lady. How did you get so smart while you're still so young?

    I think I was forty before I figured this out.

    So cheers to you. And your little boy cuddlers.

    That kind of awesomeness trumps sleep any day.

    (And most nights. But sometimes, mama's gotta get her shut eye!)

    Sweet dreams…

  61. Cherish those sweet cuddly moments.

    I like to have my own space in bed too…but when Katarina comes in for a snuggle, I try to say yes more than I say no.

  62. Shell, I am the same way. I need sleep and food to keep me from getting majorily grumpy. I always say our girls have to stay in their beds but for the most part, I am secretly happy when they "break" the rule every once in a while and I find them snuggled up with husband and me.
    Enjoy those cuddles!
    Thanks for the link up today!

  63. I do love, crave, and need my full night's sleep. And I also hated the middle-of-the-night feedings during the newborn days – they actually made me a little crazy, I think. Luckily, they didn't last long as the universe blessed me with a baby who STTN at 5 weeks. And now? I don't mind those middle-of-the-night wake-up calls to soothe her after a nightmare or what have you. Because when I pick her up all warm and groggy, she lays her head on my shoulder and snuggles in. And last Sunday morning, she climbed in bed with us and cuddled for a full 15 minutes.

    And with that, I discovered something I love even more than sleep.

  64. Love this. This is what it's all about, right? Taking the time today. Because we won't always be able to. I so identify with this. Down to my love of sleep.

  65. Damn right it's your bed and your bed alone (even if you have a husband). I look forward to teenage years when you can't get them up till past noon. That will be nice. I love my sleep too!

    And, thank you for your comment at my site about having your children spit their gum out if they chew obnoxiously. I thank you. You are a good mom.

  66. Oh man, this made me weep today. I was up last night quite a bit with my baby who isn't really a baby anymore. I could definitely use some more sleep, but at the same time. . . the cuddles. The precious cuddles. What will I do without them?

  68. my middle child has come back to cuddle time (at 11) … I'm thoroughly enjoying it.
    but yes, they grow way too fast

  69. I've been feeling like this a lot lately, not so much the sleeping with me part, but the growing so fast, need to cherish every moment part… it puts a crack in my Momma heart knowing that before long Goose won't want to snuggle before bed every night, or run to hug me as I pick her up from daycare… she's growing so fast…

    that is one of my very favorite Lonestar songs – even more dear to me since having a child of my own… love it!

  70. Oh how I love this! And isn't it funny? My post I linked up is also about how fast they grow up. Must be something in the autumnal air.

  71. I look back so fondly on the days of nighttime cuddles. Now if the Babby gets in our bed she turns sideways and pokes me and fiddles with my nose and generally makes a pest of herself and never actually SLEEPS.

  72. Oh I know what you mean. My boys are 7 & 9 and I know my snuggling days are numbered. I am so grateful that the oldest is still willing to hug me at the bus stop before school.

  73. Even though I'm sleep deprived most of the time, I try try try to remember this! 🙂
    Very sweet post!

  74. As I read this, it's almost my bedtime. My babies are asleep in their cribs.

    And, I suddenly have this urge to go get them and sneak them into the bed with me…

  75. Definitely grow up quickly. I've been kind of strict on the bed policy….now I feel badly about it.

  78. Give me middle of the night cuddles with my boys any day. I love it, love it, LOVE IT.

  79. Oh cuddle them for sure! Mine are teen/tween…my tween cuddles, my teen almost cuddles on very rare occasions.

    🙂

  80. My little one still sleeps with me and as much as I want sleep it's difficult to put her in her own room because I love the cuddles.

  81. Thanks for your comments on my blog. I know you know what it's like. It really can be "so damn hard" sometimes. I wish I had more people like you to just surround myself with. People with the same struggles.

  82. I love cuddles from my kids. Probably my favorite thing! Sometimes it seem like my kids will be in the same phase forever, but I know the time is going quickly! A great reminder for me to cherish these days.

  83. I've been really feeling that sense lately that time is flying by with E too. Just last week I had to drop him at morning care and I kind of felt like he didn't really want me to kiss him goodbye in the school. I got a bit of the brush off. 🙁

  84. I actually still sleep with my three year old in my bed… no one really understands why, but to me it's quite simple – he's only a baby once, and this time is fleeting, and soon he won't want to snuggle in bed with his mama. Sadly my husband has taken to sleeping in the three year old's room, on his new big boy queen sized bed… I know, it's backwards, but it's what works for us now! And I cherish these moments and sleeping with my three year old! I also will lie down with my six year old whenever he needs me… 🙂 Yes, I'm tired, and yes, I haven't had a good night's sleep in so long I can hardly remember!

  85. Such a sweet post!! Last night I got to rock Garrett to sleep because he had had some shots at the dr's office and his arms were sore. It felt so nice to rock him…and it made me feel bad because when all my kids were little, I used to dread rocking them sometimes because I was just so damn tired all the time. Now, I wish I had spent more time rocking them because it won't be too much longer that they can still fit nicely on my lap in that tiny rocking chair we still have.

    Love that song you quoted at the end. I have it on my iPod and listen to it whenever I'm having a tough day. It's a great reminder for sure.

  86. I tend to get cranky if my sleep is disturbed. I should probably be nicer about it.

  87. I am with you. Sleep is priority one. And with two colicky babies that was a pipe dream. haha. I make my kids sleep on the floor…but I have blankets piled up for comfort. I'm not totally heartless.

    Teendom…so far has some perks…not sure what it will be like with your boys, but I have fun with my daughter. Ask me again when she gets behind the wheel!

  88. My eldest (boy) is the only one that has ever tried to wiggle and worm his way into our bed. I take him back to his own bed. every. time.
    I do completely agree with the sentiment here….but fear I have not learned to live with the reality.
    I love my bed.
    some days, my bed is the only one who truly understands me.
    I don't like to share my bed.

    and ssshhh…I secretly like it sometimes when the Mr is on night shift – it's not even the sleep sometimes…. I just need one darn place that's not covered in Barbie, Lego and goldfish crackers!

  92. I was the "sucker" mom who let all three of my sons sleep in our bed with us. They each had their phase, went through and eventually grew out of it.
    Do I regret it? Not on your life! They grew up. And I will NEVER get those days/nights/memories/moments back. I cherish every random punch to the gut, stolen blanket, kick to the shins along with every arm thrown over my body, face nestled close and a whispered "mommy".