Things I Can't Say

Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom

Pour Your Heart Out: Knowing Our Worth

If you need more info about Pour Your Heart Out, see THIS post.
But, really, it’s anything that YOU consider pouring your heart out.
Be sure to check out some of the links- you will find some amazing stories out there.
Again, just a brief reminder that everyone linking is pouring their hearts out and we should all be respectful in our comments. 😉

 

My Pour Your Heart Out today is inspired by the opening keynote at Blissdom. Thanks again to my sponsor LeadCheck for sending me to the conference.

I had the pleasure of listening to Brene Brown’s opening keynote at Blissdom. There were three quotes that really stuck out to me and resonated with me.  I think everyone who heard her speech felt much the same way. So, here are those three quotes and my thoughts on them.

Our stories matter because we matter- Brene Brown.

What are we really doing with our blogs, anyway? Putting our stories out there? Why would someone want to read that? Well, it’s because WE MATTER. And because we matter, our stories do, too. 

Know that you matter. Don’t ever think that sharing your story doesn’t matter. It does. Share it.

When you say you don’t care what people think, and mean it, you have lost the ability to connect.- Brene Brown

I’m pretty confident in my own skin.  This is me, this is who I am.  But, we’re not talking about being confident and not changing to fit an expected mold.  It’s more not giving a damn whom you offend or what others might think. If you really don’t care at all about others, how can you connect?

You can still be you, but you still have to care about what others think. And if you don’t care what others think, why should they care about what you think?

Delete the negative. This is my space and you don’t get to be here. -Brene Brown

There is a difference between someone disagreeing with you and someone attacking you.  I’m opinionated. I respect the fact that not everyone is going to agree with everything that I say. In fact, I’d be pretty shocked if no one ever disagreed with me some of the time. That’s all well and good- I like a discussion.

But, it is NOT okay to attack personally because of those differences. And we all have a right to say HEY! This is MY space and you don’t get to be here.

It’s not a right that anyone has to come into our space(whether that is on our blogs or in real life) and insult us. We do not have to put up with that. We can DELETE(or whatever the IRL equivalent is).

Brene Brown was just one of the many inspiring women of Blissdom. If you are wondering if you should go next year, the answer is YES, you should.

Comments

  1. What great thoughts! I haven't had a truly negative comment yet, but I have had some intelligent questioning and debate. I like that—tells me I'm making people think! Well, at least a couple people, anyway. 🙂

  2. Great thoughts, like Rachel above me, I haven't had any truly negative comments. I did have one that rubbed me the wrong way and when I went to email the person, they were no-reply blogger and had no web page attached to their blog… go figure… if you are going to be contrary, at least leave a contact! I deleted it… I would have left it, though if there had been someone "behind" it to get in touch with!

  3. Thank you for sharing! I really needed to hear the first one, "Our stories matter because we matter"…sometimes I think does anyone care, is this post good enough, etc. I have to stop that…yes they do matter {at least to me} 🙂

  4. I loved that you poured your heart out this week by sharing words of wisdom from Blissdom. Thank you!

  5. I always tell new bloggers that they never know who is sitting there reading their post, nodding their head in agreement and knowing that they aren't alone in whatever struggle they are going through. That is why I also tell them not to get caught up in the numbers or whether they have a lot of comments, etc. You never know who is reading and didn't comment, but you still touched their life in some way.

  8. I love the comment about not caring what people think – it drives me crazy when bloggers say that!Then why bother writing to an audience?

  9. That is great advice! Sometimes I do wonder if anyone would really care about a specific topic but I should realize that what I have to say is important to me 😉
    Thanks for sharing this!

  11. I like that our stories DO matter. I need to be reminded that what I post is important even when I think that no one cares.:)
    Great advice!

  13. I love the parts where you talk about our stories and the negativity. I had a guy yell at me once in comment form and he summed it all up by saying, "I do not agree with this article at all!" I was seriously more offended by that than anything he was ranting about. This is my life. It's not an article. It's an entry. I think you were looking for that Newsweek over there in the magazine rack, mister…

  15. Great quotes! I struggle with the first one a lot! I constantly second guess myself in regards to what I have or plan on posting. I need to remember that quote and know that what I say might not be important to anyone but me and that's ok.

  17. I think she is an excellent choice, too. I've come across many bloggers referring to Ms Brown, and she sounds like she writes exactly about the things I think of.

    Good recap, SHell, I wish I had gone. Are you thinking of BlogHer?

    And how's Bear?

  18. These are fantastic points – for blogging and for life. Thank you for sharing them with us!

  19. I got a very positive response from the nice people of the world by not deleting a negative comment. It still hurts even if you try to get rid of it. Sometimes let one stay and see what happens.

  20. I remember reading your tweet about the 2nd point and it's really stuck with me. There's times I wish I didn't have the ability to care, but then you really do lose out.

  22. Shell, I just got your comment and I'm embarrassed to say I hadn't read your post yet (though had intentions to do so!). It's kind of a funny thing that I wrote something similar to your post! I appreciate your words and thank you for your encouragement, both this week and last. It's very encouraging to me in my blogging! I really appreciate it and have really enjoyed getting to know a glimpse of you through your blog! Thanks again and I hope your day is great today!

  23. so thankful for my supportive husband – I remember the first time i got a negative comments – (annon, or course) I had an urge to respand but hubby told me, "Just delete it, that's obviously a troll trying to stir the pot."

    🙂
    yep, i certainly don't expect people to agree with everything i say either. i do, however, expect them to treat me with the same dignity and respect on my blog as i would expect in my home. my blog is my on-line living room. 🙂

  24. Thanks for sharing that. I needed to read those quotes today. I love what she says about mattering and this making my story matter. I feel insecure after I hit publish all the time! ANd yet I feel compelled to write all the time. I also love what she says about mean comments. I always delete them. They are not necessary. If they just disagree with me that is completely different.

  25. I love that "If you don't care then you are not connected." I am also a confident woman, but I care. I want people to "get me". I want to make connections and I want people to feel something by my posts. I totally care.

  26. What wonderful quotes!!!

    I loved the "I don't care what ppl think" section that you wrote. Sooo true! Not changing to suit ppl does not equal not caring – not caring definitely would mean cutting yourself off from others. And ditto. why write to the public if you don't care?

  27. This was great and I also REALLY enjoyed your previous Blissdom wrap up. All very good advice.

  29. Loved those tidbits of truth, especially since I'm relatively new to the world of blogging! 😀

  30. Thank you. Let me say it again, louder, bigger, better, more heartfelt, THANK YOU. Thank you for creating this post. I did not follow the prompt this week, but I will try to do better in the coming weeks. Thank you for creating this as a safe haven for me to express my deepest fears, shocks, etc, in a safe, inviting forum. Thank you for pushing me to the limits of my writing. Thank you. P.S. I deleted the last comment as it was so riddled with spelling errors I was ashamed 🙁

  35. Oh it sounds like she gave a great speech!! Some fabulous quotes here and you are so right…we can delete!

  37. Brilliant, brilliant. Thank you for sharing with those of us who weren't fortunate enough to be there. 🙂

  40. Excellent points! I've only had one attacking comment and it was on my food blog. It was so absurd, and I just deleted it!
    I swear I'm going to make it to a conference one of these days!

  43. I finally have the right timing for the Pour Your Heart Out (even if it was yesterday). Mine was about 4 weeks worth, though. 🙂

  47. I've heard a lot about this presentation since Blissdom. So sad I wasn't there. Conferences are so awesome I wish I could go more, or like ever!

  48. For some reason, I wish I'd get more people attacking me on my blog! Ok, well not attacking, but just expressing their opinion when it is different then mine.

    Come on, I know not EVERYONE out there agrees with me!! If you don't, I want to know!

  49. Last Friday, a man posted three very rude comments on my blog, CapturingHappiness …comments that attacked me directly. Luckily, I have a very good sense of humor and was able to laugh his comments off. But it got me to thinking – how often to I worry about what others think about me, and how energy have I wasted trying to control others?

  50. Great write-up on what it means to be a blogger! You make some excellent points and I really enjoyed reading them.

    Thanks so much for stopping by yesterday and supporting me on my SITS day. I hope you have a wonderful end to the week!

  52. Love those second and third ones! Yes, it is good to know who we are but other people matter too. Luckily, knock on wood, I haven't had any haters comment on my blog.

  53. I so wish I could have gone.

    I delete negative comments. I don't have the patience. I'm all for having different opinions, but there is a little thing called tact. And unfortunately, a lot of people seem to lack it these days.

  54. What sound, wonderful advice. And yes, our stories DO matter.

    I've been pretty fortunate, (knock on my computer screen) when it comes to negative comments. I don't get a lot of them. I did have one the other day. I published it. The author must have thought better about it, because she deleted it herself.

  56. I loved listening to Brene speak. She was amazing!

    I might link up with you next week. Theres a post Ive been thinking about…. We'll see, I'll probably chicken out!

  58. Thank you for sharing with us. I'm so glad you gained so much from the experience of attending and this really does inspire me to make it to the next one.

    I agree: our stories DO matter and it's nice to hear that every now and then (because I have in the past questioned this blogging thing and whether or not I want to continue. The short answer is a very confident YES!). I also love the idea of deleting the negative. I'm grateful I don't have too many of them, but the few that have come in were hurtful and they made me question myself. I would never walk into someone's home and insult them, so why should anyone feel they have the right to do that to me?

    Good riddance 🙂

  60. I just tried leaving you a comment but I think it erased (but if not, I'm sorry to spam you!!!).

    Just wanted to let you know that your button is now appearing on the right-hand panel of my blog under the "some of my favorites" category. Please stop by and take a look when you have the chance!

  61. I love that she talked about the negativity as a reminder that it is YOUR space – I've always said, my blog is MY house, if you don't like it, get out!

    So glad you had so much to take away from this conference.

    Hope I get the chance to meet you one of these days!