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March 28, 2012 by: Shell

Pour Your Heart Out: It’s Not All Doom and Gloom

being a mom is hard

When Things Look Up

Floating on air after being told something good about my kindergartener last week, I tweeted:

One of the TAs stopped me as I was leaving school w/my boys to say “I think your son is the most precious child.” Love hearing good things

And then I thought oh, shit, I sound like one of those obnoxiously braggy moms on facebook whose status updates lead you to believe that they have a perfect life, perfect children, and a perfect husband. A bad day for them is when their child only wins a national competition instead of an international one. Oh, how those kind of people make me roll my eyes.

So I quickly sent out a follow up tweet:

If you’ve been following along with our school drama this year, you know that was NOT a braggy parent tweet, but genuine relief.

But then it hit me: it’s easier for me to talk about the tough stuff of parenting rather than the good.

This school year has been a disaster, with my kindergartener basically getting kicked out of private school since they couldn’t accommodate his needs, his PDD-NOS diagnosis, and how hard it is when he lashes out. And yet, I could blog it all. Even when he told me he was going to kill me.

It must sound like it’s always hard around here. That everything is a struggle and that this mom gig sucks.

But maybe it’s just that when my boys gorilla glue themselves and the couch or cut each others’ hair for the second time in a week – that’s easier to share than if I blogged la, la, la, my boys were such angels today. We had a wonderful day. Boring, right?

And sharing why I suck as a soccer mom and how I sometimes flip out and turn into a screaming mama has the words flowing onto the screen so much easier than when I somehow manage to get something right.

But truly, even in the roughest times, the good outweighs the bad.

Maybe not in that exact moment, like when I have poison control on the phone thanks to the youngest’s antics and I can’t even find one of my kids while another is attempting to climb out a window and I feel like bedtime can’t come soon enough and neither can wine-thirty… that moment isn’t wonderful. But it’s just a moment.

Those moments might make for more interesting stories, but they aren’t the majority of my mom life. Thank God.

And I bet they aren’t the majority of yours, either.

So, let’s all look on the bright side here. Tell me one thing that has made you feel proud or made you smile lately when it comes to your kids or your parenting. And this isn’t obnoxious bragging- this is just sharing when you were asked to!

Click if you want to find out more about Pour Your Heart Out. Remember, it’s about what you want to pour out: it’s personal, so there isn’t an assigned topic. It’s also about being supportive of others who are sharing: so visit other linkers and be kind with your comments. Please add the button from the sidebar or add a text link to your post if you are joining in.

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Comments

  1. Kristen says

    March 28, 2012 at 12:07 am

    You are so right. My Not Bragging?  Andrew held Alexander’s hand today while Alexander got a shot.  Alexander also did some sitting and later some standing (with minimal assistance). And Mixie didn’t make me want to kill her.  It was a good day 🙂

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:00 pm

      Sounds like a good one! 

  2. Galit Breen says

    March 28, 2012 at 12:09 am

    This is so very true, Shell. So much easier to share the bad than the good! Why is that?!

    My good for the week was Chloe being so, so sweet to Brody after getting home from a sleepover. The (good) sibling stuff gets me every time.

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:00 pm

      I know- I love seeing them be sweet to each other. 

  3. Delilah says

    March 28, 2012 at 12:15 am

    It is easier to share the bad rather than the good. My opinion is because everyone relates to the bad in some way but only a handful really want to hear about the good. It’s easier to feel good about your own parenting when you’re reading about the difficulties another mother is facing.
    My good this week was watching Ty, Maia and Mase go out of their way to help Cam when he came to spend the week with us. Watching them do whatever they could to make it easier for Cam was like balm for my soul.

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:06 pm

      Aw, such a sweet sibling moment!

  4. Stasha says

    March 28, 2012 at 12:27 am

    One good thing? When my kiddo comes up to me and gives me unsolicited hugs and kisses. Nothing better than feeling the love when you’re not expecting it!

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:08 pm

      So sweet!

  5. Tracie says

    March 28, 2012 at 12:42 am

    I find myself sharing the hard things and the bad things and the “I’m going to use my blog as some free therapy today” things far more than the good things. 

    My good is this: Katarina and I went shopping with my friend and her three year old son. Katarina spent the whole afternoon pushing his stroller, holding his hand, telling  him stories to entertain him, and generally being super sweet. And then that night she asked me how old she has to be to babysit, because if I won’t give her a little sibling, she was going to have to borrow other people’s kids. That cracked me up! 

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:09 pm

      That’s adorable!

  6. Jessica says

    March 28, 2012 at 1:12 am

    One good thing…my youngest gives me big hugs and says I’m so proud of you when I do something she likes. 

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:10 pm

      That’s too cute. 

  7. momof12 says

    March 28, 2012 at 3:02 am

    I love talking about my kids, especially when they do something awesome! My three-year-old talks like a grownup. After calling his dad the “awesome-ist guy ever” he got just what he wanted…Dad is now coaching his tee-ball team.
    Sandy

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:11 pm

      No way Dad could say no to that!

  8. Alison@Mama Wants This says

    March 28, 2012 at 5:11 am

    I just wrote about this yesterday! I won’t post the link here, check it out when you have time 🙂 (titled He Lifts Me Up).

    And yay for your son being complimented!

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:11 pm

      Will be over to read it! 🙂 

  9. Leigh Powell Hines (@Hinessightblog) says

    March 28, 2012 at 6:38 am

    Great post.  We’ve had a rough week because we’ve been sick so I have to dig deep to find the good this week. I love how my son can be so sweet to his sister sometimes, but then he can be a complete jackass to her, and it overrides the sweet act that I witnessed. 

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:13 pm

      I hope everyone is feeling better now.

      Mine will have moments where they are sweet to each other and then they beat on each other, just to make up for that kind moment.

  10. tracy@sellabitmum says

    March 28, 2012 at 6:46 am

    Love this Shell. xo My daughter just randomly told me that I wasn’t ugly but not quite pretty either. But she’s 2 and not informed yet. Does that count? lol

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:13 pm

      Oh, kids. Niiiice. The Easter Bunny is listening.

  11. Making It Work Mom says

    March 28, 2012 at 7:14 am

    I love this. Sometimes you have to share the good stuff even when it is hard.

    Often I feel compelled when my hubby and I are so frustrated with my Tween to list all the things that she has going for her that are good. Sometimes it just helps to give us some perspective.

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:14 pm

      It helps to realize that the good really do outweigh the bad. It just doesn’t always feel that way in those bad moments.

  12. JDaniel4's Mom says

    March 28, 2012 at 7:47 am

    I have heard that it is important to remember one good thing each of your children have done before you go to bed. I am trying to work on doing this.

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:15 pm

      I really love that idea!

  13. Kristen says

    March 28, 2012 at 7:56 am

    I love this idea! It actually goes along with my post today. I would say that both of mmy girls had the best manners at a friend’s house last night during a playdate & pizza dinner.

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:15 pm

      So nice! I love when my kids behave in front of others. Well, and at home… but it really makes me proud when others get to see it, too.

  14. Oka says

    March 28, 2012 at 7:58 am

    Not bragging, but limiting to one thing makes it tough….hmmm…when Bubby tells me he always loves me, even when he does bad things or gets mad, and then apologizes for some action he may have done that day.

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:16 pm

      Aw, that’s sweet. You could have shared more. There wasn’t a limit. 😉 

  15. Kmama says

    March 28, 2012 at 7:59 am

    Yay for good things from his teachers!

    I don’t have anything fun to share today, but I do plan to share something that made me smile in tomorrow’s Proud Mommy Moments post.

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:16 pm

      I’ll be sure to head over and check it out! 

  16. Leah aka FFPMaMMa says

    March 28, 2012 at 8:15 am

    Well done! We HAVE to celebrate the small victories or else we would crawl up into a small ball and hide. My little success was yesterday watching Pule interact with her cousin who is 6 months older than her and a boy. While she is growing with her words more every day, she seems to have found “No, Stop!” to be her current phrase. It is really annoying. Her cousin says “she’s not supposed to say that”. We talk about it, but then just seconds later he hands her something and she says “thank you Jarod” without my prompting.  For me comes down to respect and I love hearing it come from her mouth.

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:18 pm

      Polite moments always make me smile. 

  17. Samantha says

    March 28, 2012 at 8:43 am

    I wrote a positive blog post about my four year old yesterday…something I haven’t done in a while.  It’s been mostly negative, about how she’s such a brat & disrespectful & crazy.  It was a hard post to write…but I wrote about how she’s become her own little person, perfectly capable of making right decisions & being a leader, instead of a follower.  Here’s the link to the post if you’re interested: http://thechroniclesofthed.blogspot.com/2012/03/lessons-on-playground.html

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:19 pm

      Such a proud mama moment! She’s such a cutie! Seeing that pic of her on the swing, I get how you say she’s tall for her age! Wow! When will she be 5? 

  18. Denise says

    March 28, 2012 at 8:55 am

    I find it funny that this week although I am writing about my struggles, the story is about how my son’s sweetness made me feel better. I notice that I do find it so much easier to write about the hard stuff. Isn’t that weird? The happy and fluffy does seem boring or braggy. I was just toying with the idea of starting my own meme to at least once a week share something that made me less crazy. Made things a little more calm. I think it will be a nice addition to my blog because I do love to pour out all the drama and this will force me to put some calm out there too. So funny how the blogosphere seems to naturally move along with my own moods and thoughts. I’m rambling but I think you get me 🙂

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:20 pm

      Forcing ourselves to stop and take a look at the positive is a good idea. It’s so easy to get caught up in the negative. 

  19. Created In His Image says

    March 28, 2012 at 8:58 am

    I totally agree! Your life sounds very similar to mine, and it is never boring around here. We send out a Christmas letter to distant family and friends every year. I told my husband it doesn’t sound like I’m bragging when I say – “Hailey was swimmer of the year,” when it is sandwiched between “We are checking Josh for seizures” and “Ashley is finally fully potty trained day and night at age 12.” When you deal with special needs daily, it does not sound like bragging, I think it is a relief to people that something good is happening.

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:21 pm

      Definitely- it’s a relief and we’re celebrating! 

  20. Adrienne says

    March 28, 2012 at 8:58 am

    Oh I love this post! Yesterday my oldest told me he thinks his dad is cool. “I think it’s really cool that dad doesn’t ave ad ream job, but he’s still content because he can provide for us. He’s always happy just being a dad.” It made me cry. 1. because it’s true. My husband is amazing and 2. that my son would notice something so mature. The fact that he can recognize those qualities in his dad make me cry, cry, cry! Today’s post is the last in my series (the longest series ever!) and the best example of the kind of man his daddy is. I’m just so glad he knows it! That made me proud of him!

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:22 pm

      What a sweet moment- him noticing that and your husband for being like that!

  21. JoAnne Potter says

    March 28, 2012 at 9:01 am

    Just wait until they are grown like mine, and they are respected in their work and raising their own kids well. These are the best moments because I know they have loved me, and still do, but they don’t need me to tell them what is right or good or honorable.

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:23 pm

      Aw, that sounds like such proud mama moments. 

  22. Christine says

    March 28, 2012 at 9:04 am

    I had a moment yesterday with my oldest (a second grader). I got to chaparone her field trip at school. She was so excited that I could be there. She wanted to sit with me on the bus and hold my hand and be near me the whole time. I could tell that she was proud to have me there and wanted to enjoy the experience together. On the way home we got the kids around us on the bus to play a game (I’m thinking of an animal) and it was so much fun to just be in the moment with her and with them. When she got home she gave me a big hug and told me that I am a “fun mom.” It was one of the best days we’ve had in a long time and I will treasure that memory with her–especially in a few years when she hides in her room, finds me embarrassing, and wants nothing to do with me! 🙂

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:24 pm

      Aw, sounds like such a great day!

  23. Jaime says

    March 28, 2012 at 9:07 am

    I did the same thing on FB a few weeks ago when my son’s daycare teachers (yes, plural!) stopped me and told me that Jackson is their model student and they wish every student could be just like him. I gushed about that on FB and later felt guilty. But you know what? He deserves to be gushed over once in a while. Congrats on receiving a compliment about your son. 🙂

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:25 pm

      I think it’s okay to gush sometimes. I think we just get overly sensitive about it because there are some people who do it all the time and for every single thing that it sounds annoying. One of my college friends is like this. I can’t even read her updates. 

  24. Evonne says

    March 28, 2012 at 9:10 am

    That’s awesome what you were told about your son!  It does seem easier to talk about the bad.  Maybe because there’e almost always someone who can relate on some level and then we don’t feel so alone.  It’s great to share the good about our kids and we shouldn’t have to apologize when we do it.  But yes, those who do it ALL. THE. TIME drive me batty!

    My kids were playing outside yesterday while I made dinner (aka the witching hour).  Instead of the usualbickering, my daughter was being so nice and so helpful towards her brother.  It definitely made me proud.

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:26 pm

      Good kids at the witching hour is a miracle!

  25. Cindi says

    March 28, 2012 at 9:25 am

    You can share and be proud any time!

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:26 pm

      Thanks!

  26. stephanie @ babe's rockin' mami says

    March 28, 2012 at 9:26 am

    When we go to the park Nate is very sweet and considerate of other kids and their feelings, I love seeing that.  He can also communicate better then his 4 year old cousin and is potty trained (mostly) while his cousin is not but I loved that when he saw his older cousin wasn’t, he started trying to show him how and (at least while we were there) his cousin was going in the potty and Nate would clap for him and throw a mini party.  Super cute!

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:27 pm

      Aw, that’s so cute! He’s a good cousin. 🙂 

  27. Deanna says

    March 28, 2012 at 9:31 am

    Whenever we have conferences, the teachers always compliment us on what polite children we have and how they have such good manners and are always so well behaved. This always makes me proud!!.. Even though I don’t quite get why they are sooo good at school but soo crazy at home, I’m just glad they are making us out to be good parents, haha! I guess we all need to learn to brag a little bit about the good stuff, along with bitching about the bad stuff.  Some parents just go way overboard on the bragging though and I want to tell them to just STFU!

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:29 pm

      Always nice to hear good things from teachers!

      It’s those overboard braggers that make me want to not share anything good. But, there can be a balance. 

  28. Lisa says

    March 28, 2012 at 9:33 am

    Someone posted on my FB album — You have the cutest kids in the world! and it was someone I just reconnected with on FB and haven’t seen in years. . We also often get compliments on how well behaved they are. It makes me smile. 🙂

    And so HAPPY for that great comment about Bear. 😉

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:29 pm

      Aw, that’s so sweet!

  29. Maggie S. says

    March 28, 2012 at 9:51 am

    You are so precious. I love that you are honest about not digging the gig with soccer. My theory is that no one likes it except some really competitive kids who never got the memo.

    You’re right. It’s easy to get negative, in the name of transparency, on the blog. It’s something I get stuck in a lot. Sometimes I know the punch line is so much more accessible from “below”.

    Congratulations on finding a place for your son where he is loved and appreciated.

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:32 pm

      To me, it’s the negative or the tough that usually inspires posts. I might need to reconsider how I look at things. 

      Bear is doing well at his new school- yesterday was a rough day though. Ironically. Go figure.

  30. molly says

    March 28, 2012 at 10:00 am

    I’m just always so proud and thankful when my boys kiss me and tell me they love me without being prompted. It’s the best feeling.

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:33 pm

      I love those little boy kisses!

  31. Dana Brennan ~My 3 little ducks says

    March 28, 2012 at 10:21 am

    You are so right!! The bad stories are usually funny and everybody likes a good laugh. It is always nice to hear the good stories too! Everyone deserves happiness.
    Thank you for sharing

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:34 pm

      You’re right- we all do. And I’d hope that we all have good to share along with the tough.

  32. Sherry BabyPop says

    March 28, 2012 at 10:23 am

    I am with you it is so much easier to talk about the bad then talk about how amazing your kid is. My son no longer lets me share his life on my blog .. so now I talk about my dogs bad behavior(replacement). Because I think people like the humor to our lives that is why they read right?? The self doubting of want to be humble is what bloggers do because it makes us human and we want people to relate, our need to be loved even in the space of our own blog. .. Your kids (our kids) are amazing and it is ok to say that. So celebrate all the parts.. You are lovely Shelly,

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:36 pm

      I look at it like I don’t think I could relate if I was reading a blog where all the person did was talk about how wonderful and perfect their kids were- I’d figure I have nothing in common with them. So, if I wouldn’t want to read it, I don’t write it. But, we all do have good moments. 🙂 Thank you, Sherry! 

  33. Jaime says

    March 28, 2012 at 10:34 am

    I hate sounding like I’m bragging and perfect but I hate always sounding miserable too. It’s hard to balance.

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:37 pm

      It is really hard to balance. Too far in either direction seems to make people run.

  34. Lizbeth says

    March 28, 2012 at 11:02 am

    Oh Shell, I so know what you mean about not trying to sound all braggy when our kids do something we’ve been yearning for.  So get it.

    And I’m sorry, I’m not so upbeat at my place today….you are right, it is easier to talk about the bad.  You’ve given me the kick I’ve needed to get out of my funk.  And for that I thank you.     

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:37 pm

      So much easier to talk about the bad- and if you look at my PYHOs- most of them are on the bad side rather than the positive. We need to get it out sometimes. But still realize that there’s good, too.

  35. Dianna Kennedy says

    March 28, 2012 at 11:02 am

    Shell, 
    I’ve been digging around in the archives, reading about your sweet boy. With regard to the lead poisoning – can I ask how that came to be? How did you find out about this? I haven’t come across it yet. 

    Many hugs to you, sweetheart! Brag all you want. 😉

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:40 pm

      We knew something was going on with him and so we kept pushing for tests and evals. They eventually tested his blood for a multitude of things and that’s how they caught it. He was three when we found out, though he had been exposed for over 2 years. We were lied to about there not being lead in our home. Just him touching anything with lead in it and then later touching his hand to his mouth gave him exposure. And lead is very sweet so kids actually get addicted to it and keep seeking it out. We moved away from the source and left everything that could have been contaminated. His levels have dropped considerably since then, but there’s still long-term effects. 

  36. Amanda says

    March 28, 2012 at 11:10 am

    I think we post more about the bad stuff because we need to get it out of our systems and know we’re not alone. When we’re happy we smile and think how wonderful life is and don’t need to write about it. It’s just the way it goes.

    My happy moment was this morning lying in bed with my son. He wanted to tell me a story but told me to choose which one. I asked him to tell me a story about a garbage truck (it’s garbage day, his favourite day of the week).

    His story: Once upon a time there was a recycle and a garbage truck. The came out when it wasn’t garbage day so they went back and came again on garbage day. The end!

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:41 pm

      What a cute story!

  37. Emmy says

    March 28, 2012 at 11:14 am

    That is exactly why I started my Proud Mommy Moments meme– it is everyone’s weekly free pass to brag about their kids if they want as we asked them too– and we do let them share the “proud” -i.e. embarrassing things they did too as let’s face it, it is often funny. I try and be very real on my blog but I am also just a naturally optimistic person so I see the good and that is okay.

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:41 pm

      I do love your PMM! 

  38. Queen Bee says

    March 28, 2012 at 11:15 am

    You are so cute, and it’s true we do feel like that because of how others sometimes sound. But we should be a little proud of those moments! And I’m going to share.
    I have three little ones… and there are so many little things throughout the day that bring a smile to my face (which is a huge blessing between the other stuff) but I think the biggest smiles come when I hear one of the help or love on the other. When they say to each other I’m going to help you with… or when they just show each other kindness and love. This mom thing really is the most amazing jobs I could ever feel luckily enough to be a part of! 

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:42 pm

      That love between them is something special!

  39. Rusti says

    March 28, 2012 at 11:20 am

    sharing the good may not be as “interesting” all the time, but hey – sometimes we just have to, right? 🙂

    Goose made me smile the other night when she was snuggling my belly and gave it a kiss then said “this is MY baby!” and also last night when she jumped on Hubs’ lap and said “I’m snuggling with Papa, because I love him” love that sweet girl. (also, wondering where she was this morning when we were getting ready for the day??) 😉

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:42 pm

      What a sweetheart!

  40. MiMi says

    March 28, 2012 at 11:33 am

    Anyone who reads you or saw your tweet was not feeling like you were being a braggy gaggy mom. We all let out a sigh of relief with you!! I think it’s wonderful.

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:44 pm

      Thank you! I figured my regular readers would get it, but I realized oh, not everyone knows that that isn’t normal around here. LOL

  41. Jen says

    March 28, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    We need the good with the bad. 

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:44 pm

      Somehow, it’s just easier to tell the bad stories. They are what make me start a post more often rather than when things are good. I may need an attitude adjustment.

  42. Not a Perfect Mom says

    March 28, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    eh, good kids don’t make for good stories! ha! I always joke with my friends too that any outsider would think we all have the most horrid husbands too, because all we do is bitch about them…
    good mommy moment? hmmm…
    Hope’s teacher told me she’s the best behaved child in her class…
    wow? really? because she’s evil at home…

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:47 pm

      Oh, I know. I must have the worse kids and an awful husband. B/c I rarely write/talk about the good.  The rest is just more interesting. 

  43. Missy | Literal Mom says

    March 28, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    Last weekend we had nothing to do all day long.  Bliss.  My oldest invited my youngest into her room (totally unsuggested by me) and played with her for over an hour.  No bossing, no yelling.  Just sisterly love and play.  It was beautiful.

    To your other point about not writing about the good stuff?  My oldest recently told me “I should totally blog about that” about something that happened here and my first thought was “No way, that’s bragging.”  So I totally get that feeling.  

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:48 pm

      What a sweet sibling moment!

      I guess we all have to figure out where that line of what is bragging and what is just sharing the good stuff. 

  44. Kimberly says

    March 28, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    It’s been a rough few weeks…to say the least.
    But my son ripped out the neighbors flowers a d gave them to me.
    He said “Happy Birthday Mama”
    I didn’t have the heart to tell him it wasn’t my birthday.
    But it made me smile

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:49 pm

      LOL I’d have to smile at that, too. 

  45. Natalie says

    March 28, 2012 at 12:48 pm

    You are so right! It makes for better blog material I suppose. I was happy to see little Nolan just running at the park so carefree.

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:49 pm

      I love park time. 🙂 

  46. Caroline says

    March 28, 2012 at 12:49 pm

    Ha ha, the funniest joy for me, is when my daughter was able to hold her pee twice yesterday for more than 10 minutes while I rushed her to the bathroom. Potty Training has been a bit of a nightmare for me, but she definitely has it now!! The first time I was walking home from the park with my girls in the stroller, and the second time we were in the car driving to GG’s house. We made it both times! Hurray!!

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:50 pm

      Oh, how I hate potty training! sounds like you are almost through, though!

  47. Heather says

    March 28, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    Let’s face it my five kids fight constantly, so it is extra sweet to me when they are actually nice and cooperative with each other.

    This morning when my four year came downstairs in his undies, my sixteen year old son picked him and hugged him said, “Good Morning, Best Friend.” It made me smile before I had even had my coffee.

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:50 pm

      That is precious! 

  48. Jessica says

    March 28, 2012 at 1:26 pm

    Love this Shell, I’ve seen my kids genuinely look out for each other. Even though my boys fight like crazy I watched my older one encourage my younger to walk up to the Easter Bunny yesterday, it was so sweet.

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:51 pm

      I love that about mine, too. They might fight and say ugly things to each other, but they also watch out for each other, too. 

  49. Jenny says

    March 28, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    Totally agree! Those kinds of comments do make a mom’s day though, and you deserved to tweet it!

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:51 pm

      Totally made my day when she said it!

  50. Robin | Farewell, Stranger says

    March 28, 2012 at 1:44 pm

    Loved it last night and this morning when C calmed down enough to do puzzles. 

    Glad you got some words that made you smile. 🙂

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:52 pm

      Oh, I love any calm moment I can get! 

  51. Elaine says

    March 28, 2012 at 1:48 pm

    My 4 year old’s (Gavin) asst. teacher said to me on Monday “Oh if ONLY we could have a class full of Gavins!!”  And you KNOW he doesn’t act ‘perfect’ at home, right?  Apparently he saves it all for me.  And my friend teaches P.E. at his school and says he’s SO quiet and does everything he is told.  I just wish I knew how to make that happen here! ;-P

    p.s. It was REALLY good to hear that he is a good boy at school and I know he is… 🙂

    And you know I love that tweet, for you! 😀 xo

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:53 pm

      Anything good we hear about our kids makes us feel so good- and it’s okay to share it sometimes! 🙂 

  52. Tayarra says

    March 28, 2012 at 2:26 pm

    We know, momma! Something that made me smile lately parent wise? I am always envious of those parents that do sporadic fun things with their kids throughout the week. Most of the time I feel like week days are for the routine and don’t allow for much time to do something out of the ordinary. So, I’m starting to change that because it isn’t true. Monday I bought stuff for floats and we had root beer floats for desert. They loved them and actually couldn’t finish them, but came in rubbing their bellies with huge smiles on their faces. And Saturday I put all the crap cleaning to the side and took 2 walks with all 3 of them. LOVED it! I need to do it more often.

    Thanks for asking : )!

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:54 pm

      Oh, what a fun Monday! 

  53. Krista says

    March 28, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    We recently switch our 20 month old to a new daycare. Each day for the past 4 weekdays her new teachers have emphasized that her vocabulary is good, then excellent, then really advanced, and then amazing.

    “Yeah. We know” her dad and I secretly head nod to each other, as we say “thanks” as humbly as possible to the teacher.

    It helps to make up for the raging lunatic she’s been the past week due to all the changes in her routine!

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:54 pm

      Ha! It’s nice to have good to balance out the crazy!

  54. Christine @ Love, Life, Surf says

    March 28, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    Love this post. I don’t know why it’s so hard to take notice of and focus on the all the positive things that my kiddos do during the day and week. My moment this week was when my kids made me three get well cards and the played nicely together on Monday afternoon – no screaming or yelling or fighting. I wasn’t sure I was in the right house.

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:58 pm

      Oh wow- I would start thinking mine were sick! LOL

  55. Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell says

    March 28, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    The bad stuff is just noisier and louder so it somehow ends up sticking more. 🙁 Plus we need support in those times so naturally they’re a little more public.

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 3:59 pm

      That’s true- I really don’t feel that need for support when we’re actually having a good moment here. 

  56. Kirsten says

    March 28, 2012 at 4:07 pm

    this is why I adore YOU Shell, because that was a BRAG WORTHY MOMENT and I’m sorry I missed it via Twitter because I would have smiled because of it.
    This post is every single mom’s day. Nobody is perfect….NOBODY and kids are Far from it, but it is funnier and more blog worthy when they are so it’s a win/win …no? LOL
    I am just so glad that in the midst of the crazy, you got a SMILE and a reminder that you are a PHENOMENAL MOM. That said, my kiddos do lots of things that make me proud to be thier mom most days, I love when they are kind to each other, when they ask for something for each other and when they tell me they love me without prompting. I love when they care about other people, that makes my heart sing.

    xoxooxox

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 4:00 pm

      That kindness is always a proud mama moment! 🙂 

  57. Mary says

    March 28, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    Hmm. I have to say that getting a good report from my little guy’s teacher at his parent/teacher conference last week made me really proud.

    That, and of course when he pointed out my boobs and butt crack on video. 

    😉

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 4:00 pm

      Ha! His video was hilarious!

  58. Rach (DonutsMama) says

    March 28, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    It’s easier to focus on the negative, at least it is for me and I need to do a better job of being positive. So, since you asked, I’m glad Donut is really a happy baby the majority of the time. If I stop and think about it, she really doesn’t cry about a lot of things at all.

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 4:01 pm

      Oh, that’s so nice! Makes things a lot more pleasant.

  59. Jessica@Team Rasler says

    March 28, 2012 at 5:13 pm

    That’s a weird coincidence, because a friend of mine just told me last week that she’d love to hear more about the parenting good times on my blog.  I hadn’t realized that I tend to talk so much more about what’s hard.  So I decided to write about a proud moment for this week’s PYHO, and then here I came to find that you do the same thing!  I like little synchronicities in life like that.  

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 4:02 pm

      Seems to go in waves, doesn’t it? I guess it’s the bad that we tend to think more about and have more to say about. 

  60. Jennifer says

    March 28, 2012 at 7:34 pm

    I got an email from my son’s kindergarten teacher yesterday. Apparently upon finding a belt (?) in the restroom, my son decided to take the advice of his helpful buddies and put it down the toilet. She was “so disappointed”. I was a little embarrassed at first but then I realized it could SO be worse! As he left for his classroom this morning, my last words to him, shouted across the playground were “Don’t put anything in the toilet today!”. Way more colorful than the “I love you!” I shouted the day before.

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 4:02 pm

      LMAO!!!! Hope he listened. 😉 

  61. Greta says

    March 28, 2012 at 7:55 pm

    My kids get bragged on by bystanders when we go out to eat, which to me is a big deal. Because at home, they’re heathens!

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 4:03 pm

      That is a big deal! 🙂 

  62. Nicole says

    March 28, 2012 at 8:22 pm

    Sweetie, you feel free to tell all the positives too! I’m always happy to hear and I will never think badly of you!

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 4:03 pm

      Thank you. xo 

  63. Frelle says

    March 28, 2012 at 8:46 pm

    despite a difficult weekend where i was pretty distant with the kids bc of some personal issues, my 9 yr old introduced me to a table of her friends as “her incredible mom” and it made me feel like I was doing something right. 🙂

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 4:04 pm

      Aw, that would make me smile!

  64. Recovering Supermom says

    March 28, 2012 at 8:51 pm

    My daughter said to me in the bathroom while we were out at lunch today, “You’re the best mom ever.”  For no reason that I could tell at all at that moment.  It’s reassuring that she thinks of me that way. 

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 4:04 pm

      That is so sweet!!!

  65. Tracy Wilson says

    March 28, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    I think maybe it’s so easy to share the bad because thats what we are seeking reassurance for…for someone to say hey- its alright. Its happened to me too.

    Tracy

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 4:05 pm

      That’s true. It does feel good when others relate.

  66. Teresa (Embracing the Spectrum) says

    March 28, 2012 at 9:09 pm

    LOVE THIS. 

    My son helped clean up in the regular preschool class when he entered into the room at the end of Center Time. That’s pretty awesome. 

    I’ve also had a few teachers at the school tell me that they love him. 🙂

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 4:06 pm

      Aw, I love when others see the good in my kids! 

  67. Kate F. @katefineske says

    March 28, 2012 at 9:36 pm

    I had a moment last week where my son’s Kindergarten teacher pulled me from the hall to tell me how well behaved my son was. At the beginning of the year we came to her with some behavioral problems we were having with him – and she specifically addressed these when she pulled me over. It was SO great to hear… but I never told anyone but my husband. It’s harder to share the good then it is the bad sometimes for fear of sounding too braggish (is that a word?). I completely agree.

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 4:07 pm

      Oh, that’s such great news!

  68. Beth Zimmerman says

    March 28, 2012 at 11:01 pm

    My youngest is 22 now. (Yeah, I’m getting old.) So the challenges … and the blessings … have changed. But the past year still had me wondering if I had completely failed as a parent. But like you shared … those doubts are based on moments not on the big picture! So while the truth remains that 2 of my kids are breaking our hearts … I still believe that they will eventually *come home!* And the other 2 … one is a single mom who is doing a phenomenal job of raising her own 2 kids. The other blesses us daily (he’s still at home) and every day I see less boy … more man! And what an awesome man he is growing, choosing, to be!

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 4:08 pm

      There’s definitely positives in there, girl!

  69. Robbie says

    March 29, 2012 at 12:34 am

    I often worry that I write too much about the struggles and heartbreak and not enough about the joys…but for me, right now it is easier to write about the suck….and it helps me process it all, KWIM? Great things my kids did…pulled weeds in the front yard without being asked as I was running around inside getting ready for a house showing.

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 4:09 pm

      It does help me to get through to write it. And when things are bad, it feels fake for me to gush about the positive. It’s all a balance.

  70. Lee-Ann says

    March 29, 2012 at 7:49 am

    It is so very true.  I try to treasure the good happy moments because some days they seem so far between!

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 4:10 pm

      They really do- but they’re always there, somewhere.

  71. Stephanie says

    March 29, 2012 at 8:21 am

    So happy for the great compliment!  

    Our good moment this week was when Captain B showed unselfishness and let his sister have three turns in a row when picking games and movies.  Usually this is their big fight moment 😛

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 4:10 pm

      Yay for no fight!

  72. Teresa says

    March 29, 2012 at 9:25 am

    I’m so glad i read this today. I felt like a bad mom this weak, very stressed, not playing with the kids, and acting annoyed at everyone around me. I’m glad to not be alone. 

    I don’t have a braggy moment. Okay, well maybe when my son didn’t argue at bedtime and he thanked me for such an awesome bedtime story. And he hugged me tightly. <3

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 4:11 pm

      See? We all have a small good moment. 🙂 

  73. julie gardner says

    March 29, 2012 at 10:30 am

    This is just so very wonderful, Shell. 
    Thanks for encouraging everyone to share something lovely because I believe you hit the nail on the head here: we’re sometimes more comfortable with the “venting” or “sharing” side of blogging – when things are hilariously bad or tear-jerkingly awful.

    Bloggers want to give support, we want to hear we’re not alone. So that’s when we rise up and give our best: when others are in need. Of laughter, hugs, a virtual pat on the back saying “It’s okay.”

    But we do also need to celebrate the good. Like that AWESOME comment about your precious boy. I love that you were so excited to share a most-needed compliment. If we’re going t bare the ugly, we should sometimes bare the beautiful, too.

    So good for you and THANK YOU for doing this. Look at all the sweetness up above…

    p.s. My kids genuinely love to be together and get along most of the time. This is a real blessing because my sister and I fought like screechy cats. I don’t know how I got so lucky but I truly appreciate how well my children co-exist. Middle-schoolers sharing a bathroom? I know. Crazytown. 😉

    • Shell says

      March 29, 2012 at 4:14 pm

      All that support means so much and is why I love blogging so much. But I feel like I’ve just been whining lately.

      How nice that your kids do love each other- my boys love each other, but it’s sort of a violent love sometimes. LMAO

  74. Valerie says

    April 5, 2012 at 10:00 pm

    My son is in middle school and one of my favorite things about him is he’s independent. At an age where peer pressure is so prevalent and kids feel the need to fit in with clothes, phones, etc., he remains focused on his goals, independent of what others have or think. I pray he continues this, because it will keep him from making potentially dangerous mistakes as he gets older!

Welcome to Things I Can't Say: Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom. I'm Shell. Boy mom, beach girl, bookworm, ball games, baker, brand ambassador, Thinking yoga, food, and travel should start with "b," too. Finding the easiest way to do some things while overthinking so many others. Read More…

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