When there’s something rough going on, we all deal in our own ways. There really isn’t a right or wrong way to deal.
We feel how we feel.
But it seems that the way that I deal makes me the odd one out when it comes to my family.
And I’m sick and tired of being made to feel like I’m an uncaring, unfeeling monster because I’m not reacting in the way that others are.
You see, a few months back, one of my sils was diagnosed with cancer. She’s been extremely public about this, posting from day 1 on her facebook about it, so I don’t feel like I’m violating her privacy to tell you this.
She had an operation last month and they were able to remove everything.
Me? I was so happy. YAY!!! The cancer is gone!!!!
But, you see, because it was stage 3, her doctor recommended that she go through radiation and chemotherapy. So she’ll be going through all that for the next 6 months.
Which is inconvenient and not the absolute best outcome possible- the best being that they would have removed it and said that was it, all clear. And I have never gone through radiation or chemo, so I don’t know about the pain and everything else she’ll be dealing with.
But this is what I know: the doctors are telling her that this is just a precaution. That the cancer is gone and that this is just to ensure it won’t come back.
Yet, the response of my family members has been to cry. And to talk about how awful it all is. And to cry some more. Not my sil, though- she’s a freaking rockstar with her positive attitude. But everyone else is crying all the time.
And they do not understand my reaction. They think I don’t care. Or that I don’t understand.
But, what I know is that the doctors are saying the cancer is gone. They are saying that these next few months are just to ensure everything is okay- but it’s not even required. Yes, I’m repeating this fact. A fact that others can’t seem to wrap their minds around.
What I know is that this could have been so freaking much worse.
The surgery might not have worked. They might not have been able to get it all. Or it could have spread. They could have been telling her she HAD to go through radiation and chemo. That she had to if she were to even have a chance to make it. Or they could have told her that it didn’t matter, that nothing could be done to help her.
But none of that happened. She is cancer-free.
And sure, the next several months are going to suck.
But, from everything I’ve heard, at the end of it- she’ll be totally fine. That there’s no question that she’ll still be here next Christmas… and many, many Christmases after that. Something that no one was sure of this past Christmas.
So, I choose to focus on the positive and celebrate what I see as happy news. And just because I’m dealing in this way doesn’t make me a heartless bitch. I’ve yet to tell anyone that just because they are freaking out over the negatives that they are being selfish drama queens, so they can refrain from judging me for looking on the bright side. We’re all just dealing in our own ways.
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