Sure, I was still posting here. And jumping on facebook and twitter when I had a minute because I could do that from my phone wherever I happened to be. And I was still working because mama needs a paycheck.
But, I haven’t been commenting the way that I used to- the way that I would like to.
I truly believe that the blogging community is about friendships. And friendships should be give and take. So, I used to go visit everyone who commented here(maybe a day or two late, but I still did it) and then go visit others: maybe some usuals, maybe something that caught my eye on twitter.
But, the past two months….
Not knowing what was going on with my son or what we were going to do, plus having him home all the time, us going to up to 4-5 appointments in a week, some over an hour away…. I had nothing left to give.
So, the blogging guilt kicked in. And the internal debate began. Let me give you a glimpse of what I was thinking.
I really need to go return visits to blogs.
No, you don’t. You need to sleep.
But, I miss my blog friends.
They’ll still be there.
No, they won’t. They’ll leave if I am not a good blog friend back to them.
Oh, shut up. They know what you’re going through. You blog about all of Bear’s problems and how depressed you are about everything else, and how tired you are and how you are overwhelmed with everything. They’ll understand.
Well, what if they don’t read and they don’t know? They’ll just think I’m ignoring them.
Do you hear yourself? If they aren’t reading and have no idea what’s going on with you, why are you worried about not visiting them?
I don’t want anyone to think that I stopped caring about them.
Shut. Up. When one of your friends is going through a rough time, you always cut them some slack.
Well, yes. But…
No buts allowed. If you would cut them that slack, then you should expect it in return.
But, I’ve already had people mad at me for not being there like I used to be.
You have to let those people go. You’ve been doing all you can to take care of your family and yourself. You couldn’t do anything else.
But, I still feel bad. Guilty. I worry what people think.
Get over yourself. Most won’t think anything of it.
Stop with the buts. The ones who do judge, well… let them go.
I still feel bad.
I know. I’m you, you goofball.
Well, now that things are starting to get better, I’ll be back around like I used to be, soon.
Of course you will. And your real friends will understand. And will think you are silly for even writing all these asinine thoughts out.
Do you ever have blogging guilt?