Things I Can't Say

Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom

Pour Your Heart Out: Be Wrong

Before we get to this week’s Pour Your Heart Out, did you do your homework from last week? Let us know what you did: share on my facebook page– I’ll leave that post pinned to the top for this week so you can find it easily! 

It’s okay to be wrong.

To take a wild guess and have it be totally wrong.

To think you know the answer but not be 100% sure and yet still give your answer.

It’s okay if you have not a clue about something.

We can’t know it all.

It’s okay to try anyway.

Don’t worry that someone will laugh at you for being wrong.

Most times, they won’t.

Because no one is right all the time.

But if they do, know that they might just be nervous because they didn’t know the answer either.

Or they are covering up for the times they felt bad when they were wrong.

So, ignore the laughs and just keep trying.

Keeping quiet unless you are completely certain you know something will leave you quiet far too often.

Take a chance.

Maybe you are right, maybe you are wrong, maybe you’re on the right track, maybe you’re not.

But if you don’t try, you’ll never know.

We don’t learn new things if we are too afraid to try.

Always try.

You might be right and feel great about yourself.

You might be wrong and learn something new.

Be proud of yourself for the times that you are right.

But also be proud of yourself for the times that you gave it your best shot, but were wrong.

In this life, we’re usually wrong more often than we’re right.

And it’s okay- it’s how we all grow and learn.

This post sums up what I’m trying to convey to my oldest, my second grader, who hates to be wrong. Who would rather keep quiet or say he doesn’t know unless he’s completely certain he has the right answer. I want him to let go of that fear and know that it’s okay to be wrong sometimes. But as I was thinking about it, I realized we could all probably use the reminder. 

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Comments

  1. While making small talk with a mom at a recent football game that my daughter was cheering for, I realized I got her daughter mixed up with someone else.  Talk about being wrong!  I chatted with her for a while about her “daughter” who wasn’t hers. I kind of laughed off the mistake – but she took it a little personally.  It gnawed at me for a while until I fully reminded myself that her taking it badly was her problem.  But talk about being wrong! 

  3. Oh yes my oldest struggles with this. I always feel bad for her because I feel that she misses out on great opportunites because of her fear of being wrong. Such a hard lesson to learn.

  5. Love this! Such a great reminder for all of us, and such an important message to pass on to our kiddos! “We don’t learn new things if we are too afraid to try” ~ yes. Exactly. I want my girls to grow up with this ingrained in their brains! 

  6. Yes, yes we absolutely could. I recently came to the conclusion that I was wrong about something – my toddler certainly taught me a thing or two (sounds like my next PYHO post in the making!).

  7. The older I get the more I realize that I am pretty much wrong about everything! If I didn’t figure it out by myself, my kids made sure to tell me!
    Sandy

  9. You’re right. We can use the reminder….. at least I know that I can. Fear of failing always seems to be there doesn’t it?
    My oldest daughter is like your son. She hates failing or doing bad on anything and is very driven to succeed. There are times that it’s great and other times it annoys me.

  11. My kiddo hates being wrong too. And losing. Both things we do often in life. If we are lucky, we can be right/winners more often than not. It’s hard lesson to learn (I’m still learning). It’s an even harder lesson to teach. Nice work, Shell.

  12. I live with 2 men who HAVE to be right. Even if they will keep talking and adding stuff to make themselves right. Drives me batty. Getting them to break that habit is making me bald.

  13. It’s hard to teach that to a child, because I’m very much that same way…and it started in childhood.  I saw other kids that were wrong, and nothing terrible happened to them…but i couldn’t let myself be wrong.  I think it was the perfectionist in me.

  14. I relate to him because it’s my nature to be the same way. I have to fight with myself to not be that way and to speak up because I don’t want my kids to follow in my footsteps. It’s one of the top things I would change about myself if I had the chance. 

  15. This is something I’m working on with Katarina as well (and myself, if I’m being honest). It can be scary to put yourself out there, but it can also be really great. 

  16. We all hate being wrong don’t we (or asking a “stupid” question). I hope your lil man is able to try to take chances with that though!!

  17. Spectacular post. My son feels the same way. To get a wrong answer or lose a game just reduces him to shreds when it is just one thing. It really keeps him from learning.

  18. Thanks so much for this reminder. I am constantly calling my husband out when he has a hard time admitting he is wrong but really I do too. I need to work on this. If I want to be the best role model for my kids than I need to start acting as I would like them too.

  19. I am having the hardest time conveying the NEED to make mistakes to a newer employee of mine. She is bogged down by needing processes and procedures to do anything and doesn’t understand that most of the learning in life and in business comes from making mistakes. You own up to it and then move on, a little wiser. So frustrating!

  20. So many people would benefit from reading and FOLLOWING this post!!
    I learned a long time ago that it’s more fun and opens more dialogue to actually speak up and be WRONG than to hold it in. I’m wrong often. LOL

  22. My Jack isn’t on as high of reading level as he should be because he doesn’t like to sound the words out out loud for fear of being wrong and getting laughed at….and I have no idea why! No one has ever laughed at him, all the kids in his class last year were just learning and everyone sounded out words incorrectly, but he doesn’t want to do it…it’s driving me nuts

    • That sounds like mine. He doesn’t want to try a word unless he is completely positive he knows what it is. It makes reading with him like pulling teeth.

  24. Love this message. I have a difficult time with my oldest’s perception of his need to be perfect. I worry he’s missing out on opportunities to try things for fear of not being awesome on the first go of things.

    I keep telling myself to keep encouraging and surely he won’t always be this hard on himself. I think. 🙂

  25. I love this! I needed to read this too. I’ve been trying to get my second grader to relax. He thinks he should spell every word correctly, know how to do something before I teach it, and he is devastated to get the wrong answer. What a great message to share with him and me! {{{Hugs}}}

  26. I admit I’m one of those people who always stays quiet, even when I do know the answer. I guess I don’t want to look silly if I don’t know or I don’t want to be the know-it-all when I do know. Which is silly b/c those things shouldn’t matter.

  28. My oldest daughter is exactly like this. She is in 5th grade and I’m still trying to instill this in her. I’m going to steal this because I am fresh out of ideas of what to say anymore.

    • Thinking it might be an oldest child thing- seems like a lot of us in the comments- it’s the oldest who have these thoughts!

  29. Very inspiring. I do believe on the same thing. I think one of the greatest way one could learn is by making mistakes. Make mistakes and learn something from it. Thank you for sharing.

  30. This is a great reminder. Like your son, I’ll often say nothing for fear of being wrong. It’s something I’m working on because you are right, there is nothing wrong with being wrong (and so much to learn!)

  32. I love this, Shell. I love reminding our kids of this and then internalizing it so we don’t forget it ourselves, ya know? Well said. 🙂

  34. I have this same issue with my oldest, even at home while practicing spelling words, if he doesn’t know it he will just freak out and not even try.   Some of the best things discovered in life happened because of a mistake

  35. Ignoring the laughs and continuing to try took me a long time to really get and understand. This is a great reminder and a great way to think about talking about this subject with my kids. My oldest hates to be wrong but I’ve learned that it’s in the trying where you find the greatest reward.

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