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October 30, 2012 by: Shell

Pour Your Heart Out: A Good Report

Though I’ve said before that it’s not all gloom and doom here, it does seem to be the hard times that inspire me to head to the computer and type away at a new post. Needing to vent or to know I’m not alone is more of a motivation than when something good happens.

But for this week, I’m pouring my heart out about a proud mama moment.

autism parentingLast week, we had a conference with Bear’s teacher.

Up until this point, we hadn’t really gotten much feedback from her, though I did keep telling her that if there were any issues to please let me know. His teacher last year used to give me a brief update every day at pick up: what she was trying to work on with him that day and any improvements or setbacks she noticed.

But with his new teacher, she’d occasionally tell me some piece of happy news, but mostly she just sent him out of the pick up line with a wave.

We hadn’t had any emails or notes or phone calls and the behavior chart in his folder showed only good marks.

But still. We’ve had a hard time with school for our Bear.

So heading into a parent-teacher conference had my stomach in knots.

His teacher had his PEP folder on the table.  For those of you who aren’t used to all the abc’s: he also has an IEP which states the modifications and services he receives from the school for special needs. But a PEP is created for any student who might not meet the end of grade requirements.  Areas of needed support are noted as well as what the teacher will do in the classroom to help as well as what the parents will do at home, and what means of evaluation will be used to judge progress.

Last year, we didn’t have the PEP meeting with his teacher because she ended up in the hospital at the end of the school year when our conference was scheduled.

His new teacher said that she didn’t quite know what to do with Bear’s. Which had my heart thumping a bit.

Until she continued by saying that she thought she could just use what had been started in last year’s, but that he was so far ahead of where he was then that it’s not relevant any more.

And that if she didn’t have to create some sort of PEP for him due to him technically being retained, she didn’t think she’d make one for him.  And while she came up with two goals for him for it, she wasn’t concerned that he wouldn’t meet them(and he’s already met one of the two in the week since our conference).  She also said that when we meet to discuss it next grading period, as long as he continues on the track he’s on, we can deactivate his PEP.

She went on to tell us about how he is doing with the K-2 assessments that they use here and how he’s either on track or ahead of where he needs to be for everything.  She told us that he’s sweet and tries hard and does a great job and has friends…

She didn’t have a single negative thing to say.

Not one.

We’ve never had a meeting like this for Bear.

While some previous teachers have tried to soften the blow by starting out with a positive thing or two, the majority of what we’ve heard has always been negative. And with one teacher in particular, it was almost all negative.

So this? This was amazing.

I want to share with you because I want to share the joy along with the negative… but also because at this time last year, school was a total disaster. Everything just seemed so freaking hard all the way around. And here we are, a year later- and things have improved so much. I hope that can be an encouragement for anyone who is going through a rough spot- to hang in there, it really can get better. And maybe I’m writing this a bit as a reminder to myself for later- for when we go through a rough patch again.

Click if you want to find out more about Pour Your Heart Out. Remember, it’s about what you want to pour out: it’s personal, so there isn’t an assigned topic. It’s also about being supportive of others who are sharing: so visit other linkers and be kind with your comments. Please add the button from the sidebar or add a text link to your post if you are joining in.



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Comments

  1. Cyndy says

    October 30, 2012 at 10:14 pm

    I am SO SO happy to hear this!  I hope the year just gets better and better.

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 12:58 pm

      Me, too! Thanks!

  2. Christie @randomreflectionz says

    October 30, 2012 at 10:14 pm

    Such amazing news! So happy for your family. And you are right, we need constant reminders that the bad things will change. Good things are often just around the corner. It just takes patience – which, unfortunately, I have in very short supply.

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 12:58 pm

      I’m not known for my patience, either. 😉

  3. Mary says

    October 30, 2012 at 10:18 pm

    So glad that he is doing well.  Hope the good work continues.

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 12:59 pm

      Thanks, Mary!

  4. Heather says

    October 30, 2012 at 10:43 pm

    That’s EXCELLENT! Great news!

    We have been having a tricky year. I was near a melt down about it just this morning, so thanks for sharing this. I know it will all work itself out over time. 
    Heather

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 12:59 pm

      Ugh. So sorry to hear that. If you ever need to vent, feel free! xo 

  5. Courtney Kirkland says

    October 30, 2012 at 11:31 pm

    That is so great!! What exciting news for your sweet boy! 🙂

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:06 pm

      Thanks, Courtney!

  6. Alison says

    October 30, 2012 at 11:31 pm

    This is so awesome to hear! 

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:06 pm

      Thanks, Alison! We were so excited.

  7. Shay says

    October 30, 2012 at 11:54 pm

    I always seem to be drawn to the computer or to write more when I am upset or going through something difficult too. It’s much easier to express my feelings by typing/writing it all out – and it does seem to help me to see the good in most situations too. So glad to hear that your guy is doing well!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:07 pm

      Same here- but I’m trying to make an effort to write more about the good- since there’s definitely lots of it there!

  8. Laura says

    October 31, 2012 at 12:31 am

    Yay!!  What fabulous news!!  So happy for you and your sweet boy!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:07 pm

      Thanks, Laura!

  9. momof12 says

    October 31, 2012 at 1:49 am

    That is so awesome! Give Bear a hug for me. You must be so proud!
    Sandy

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:08 pm

      We are very proud! Thanks, Sandy.

  10. Varda (SquashedMom) says

    October 31, 2012 at 3:21 am

    This post brings me such joy, I am so glad things are going so well for your lovely son. We both know there will be more bobble to come, but every bit of smooth sailing is so precious for kids like ours – so enjoy!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:08 pm

      It really does make the good moments so much sweeter! 

  11. colleen says

    October 31, 2012 at 3:43 am

    Oh I am so glad for you and your family! Thank you for sharing your joy!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:08 pm

      Thanks, Colleen!

  12. Single Mom in the South says

    October 31, 2012 at 6:30 am

    This made my heart sing! I know you were nervous and I’m so happy it’s going well. As a teacher, these are the kinds of conferences I love to have and wish I had more of!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:14 pm

      For sure! These are the rare ones. 

  13. Wayne says

    October 31, 2012 at 6:46 am

    Thanks for being a gracious hostess of the meme.  

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:14 pm

      Thanks for joining in! 

  14. Ducky says

    October 31, 2012 at 6:52 am

    Absolutely made my heart smile and I was tingly all over! I am SO HAPPY for you and Bear! What a wonderful report!!!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:14 pm

      Thanks- it was amazing to hear this report!

  15. Kim says

    October 31, 2012 at 7:20 am

    Hooray for a teacher who is willing to focus on the positive! Some folks subscribe to the theory that if they don’t point out all the things that need work, then they are doing a disservice. While I appreciate feedback as an adult on where I could improve, if all I heard about was everything I was doing wrong, I would NOT feel any incentive to improve.

    Glad to hear things are going better for you and your son this year!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:15 pm

      And it’s necessary to hear some of the negative- but when it’s not balanced out by some positive, it starts to feel so hopeless.

  16. JDaniel4's Mom says

    October 31, 2012 at 7:42 am

    What great news! Her words must have been golden to your ears.

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:15 pm

      They were! 

  17. Blond Duck says

    October 31, 2012 at 7:59 am

    What a wonderful thing to hear!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:15 pm

      It was! 🙂 

  18. Patricia P says

    October 31, 2012 at 8:11 am

    That’s wonderful! It’s such a good feeling when others see how great your children are. I hope he continues to have a great year!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:16 pm

      Thank you- we do, too!

  19. Kim@Co-Pilot Mom says

    October 31, 2012 at 8:16 am

    How wonderful it is when something turns out better than expecte! School is such a big part of their lives, it is always great to hear positive news on that front.

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:16 pm

      It really is- they spend practically half their awake time there!

  20. Angel says

    October 31, 2012 at 8:24 am

    That is great news hun. Let’s hope this is the start of a permanent thing.

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:16 pm

      Thanks, Angel!

  21. Cindi says

    October 31, 2012 at 9:23 am

    Such great news! The difference one year and, a teacher can make can be amazing. Glad you’re off to a good year. 🙂

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:16 pm

      THanks- we’re thrilled!

  22. Kim Young says

    October 31, 2012 at 9:33 am

    How wonderful! Do you think the medication has helped with this?

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:17 pm

      I really do feel like the meds are a big part of it. They help him with his focus- and that’s not just academic but for behaviors as well. 

  23. Jessi says

    October 31, 2012 at 9:35 am

    I never comment, but I’m going to on this one.  I have felt what you described-dreading conferences, having to watch your child endure a hard year at school (and you endure it with him/her), etc.  I have a son with special needs and it can be nervewracking, to say the least.  I love this post and am so happy for you and Bear.  His teacher sounds great too.  I love the teachers who can focus on the positive, especially when there is so much positive to be found.  Great job to all of you!  Hope the rest of his school year and the years to come are just as wonderful!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:18 pm

      Thanks for taking the time to comment, Jessi! It really can be so nervewracking, can’t it? That’s why we need to celebrate the good.

  24. KLZ says

    October 31, 2012 at 9:40 am

    This is really, really fantastic news. I’m so thrilled for all of you.

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:18 pm

      Thanks, KLZ! We were thrilled to hear such good things!

  25. Michelle says

    October 31, 2012 at 9:50 am

    That’s so great!  We had a disaster year last year, too!  I started the school year feeling ill, but it’s so much better!  It’s such a relief when things go well!  Glad Bear is meeting all his milestones:)

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:18 pm

      So glad you are having a better year, too!

  26. Barbara says

    October 31, 2012 at 9:54 am

    This post makes my heart happy! I’m so happy for your and so happy for Bear!!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:19 pm

      Thanks, Barbara!

  27. Diana says

    October 31, 2012 at 10:22 am

    I’m so happy for you! How awesome for you guys! Treasure this good report and remember its what you’re doing at home too that’s helping!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:19 pm

      Thanks, Diana! 

  28. Stephanie says

    October 31, 2012 at 10:28 am

    Aw, this is GREAT! 🙂  I’m so happy for him and for you!  You must have been so proud!  It’s the moments like this… 🙂

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:20 pm

      So very proud! 🙂 

  29. Tiffany says

    October 31, 2012 at 10:47 am

    Maybe it’s just hormones, but I am totally in tears over this post.  Give that sweet kiddo a hug for me – isn’t it amazing to realize that something clicked?!?!  

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:20 pm

      It really is amazing! Thank you! 

  30. brianna says

    October 31, 2012 at 10:55 am

    Hooray for a good report!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:20 pm

      Thanks, Brianna!

  31. Delilah says

    October 31, 2012 at 11:13 am

    That is AWESOME! I love it when I have those types of conferences for Cam. It gives me something to hold onto when times get tough again 🙂

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:20 pm

      Exactly. I know that we’ll have rough times- but this is really the first time we’ve had that positive report. 

  32. Mary @ A Teachable Mom says

    October 31, 2012 at 11:26 am

    I have tears in my eyes as I write this – I feel so happy for you. I relate to feeling terrified at what I’ll hear at parent-teacher conferences. I could feel your joy, excitement and love for your adorable little pumpkin throughout this post. And your relief. Thank you for sharing the happy news (I also completely relate to it being harder to write when things are going well!). Well done, mama. 

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:43 pm

      Thanks, Mary! It really was such a relief to hear such good things!

  33. Jackie says

    October 31, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    That is wonderful news! I am so glad to hear that the conference was so positive! Maybe this year will be great after all!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:44 pm

      We’re hoping so! 

  34. Kathleen says

    October 31, 2012 at 12:06 pm

    Oh do I remember those IEP meetings with my daughter and her teachers… The stress of it all! I am so HAPPY for you that your had such a positive and encouraging report. It gives us strength and hope. Thank you for sharing so much from your heart. Bear is such an inspiration for many parents. Have a blessed day 🙂 

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 1:45 pm

      Thanks so much, Kathleen! 

  35. Emmy says

    October 31, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    Oh Shell I am so so happy to read this!! So happy for you and yes you should share this and celebrate it as you have worked so hard to make sure he is getting the help he needs- and now look how awesome he is doing!!  So happy for you

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 3:52 pm

      Thanks, Emmy! We are thrilled at how this year is going!

  36. Megan (Best of Fates) says

    October 31, 2012 at 12:47 pm

    WOOOOOH!!! Fabulously exciting. Well done.

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 3:54 pm

      Thanks, Megan!

  37. Rebecca @ Unexplained X2 says

    October 31, 2012 at 1:04 pm

    Sometimes it just takes a year to turn things around. Sounds great.

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 3:54 pm

      that’s what we were hoping for!

  38. Nicole DeZarn says

    October 31, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Cannot tell you how happy I am for both you and Bear.  Yay for you both and for a terrific teacher:)

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 3:54 pm

      Thanks so much! We were so thrilled! 

  39. Tayarra says

    October 31, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    Such great news!!! I’m so happy the teacher is working out and he is doing so well. Scream it, girl. No reason for you to explain why you have to say it. We get it, momma!!! Congrats!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 3:55 pm

      Thanks, girl! We were so happy to hear all the good news!

  40. angela says

    October 31, 2012 at 1:10 pm

    Seriously, I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. I am so happy for you and for your little Bear. I know you have struggled and hoped for a good fit, and I am so happy things are going well for him. Yay!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 3:55 pm

      Thanks, Angela! I ended up crying after this conference- tears of relief and joy! 

  41. Natalie says

    October 31, 2012 at 1:10 pm

    How wonderful!! Truly Shell, I’ve teared up because I can only imagine how wonderful it was for you in that meeting. 

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 3:56 pm

      Thanks, Natalie! We were thrilled to have a good conference for once! 

  42. Making It Work Mom says

    October 31, 2012 at 1:16 pm

    Love good news! So happy that he is doing well – all your hard work is paying off!!!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 3:56 pm

      Thank you! It’s been a long road already. It’s a relief to have something go right!

  43. Angie says

    October 31, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    Hooray! That is fantastic Shell!!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 3:57 pm

      Thanks, Ang! So glad we got to talk today! xo

  44. Susi says

    October 31, 2012 at 1:36 pm

    Shell, that’s fantastic news. So happy for you and Bear. Go him!!! Happy Halloween. 🙂

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 3:57 pm

      Thanks, Susi!

  45. just JENNIFER says

    October 31, 2012 at 1:49 pm

    That’s fantastic, Shell! So happy for you!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 3:58 pm

      Thanks, Jennifer! 

  46. Kate says

    October 31, 2012 at 1:54 pm

    Woo hoo! That is so awesome!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 3:59 pm

      Thanks, Kate! 

  47. Stephanie @ Babe's Rockin' Mami says

    October 31, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    This made me teary eyed, I’m so happy for him and for all of you.  That’s amazing, awesome, outstanding…all of those fun words!!  Let’s blame hormones for the tears, I just feel like I’ve gotten such a feel for this through you and I know how much you have struggled with it!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 4:00 pm

      Thanks so much, Steph! 

  48. Missy | The Literal Mom says

    October 31, 2012 at 2:47 pm

    Hurray Bear and hurray Shell!  And hurray teacher!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 4:01 pm

      Thanks, Missy! 

  49. Emily says

    October 31, 2012 at 2:54 pm

    I LOVE this post! That feeling of relief is one of the most rewarding things a parent can experience, when we know we are doing a good job and our kids have a bright future. Way to go mom!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 4:02 pm

      It really is such a great feeling! 

  50. AnnMarie says

    October 31, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    I hang on the appointments when all we hear are the positives so I totally get this. I am beyond happy for you! I’m so glad that so far what was a source of anxiety is turning into a source of happiness!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 4:02 pm

      It’s always so nice to hear the positives! 

  51. Jackie says

    October 31, 2012 at 3:29 pm

    What great news Shell! I’m so happy to hear Bear is doing so well. My heart swells with happiness for all of you. 

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 4:02 pm

      Thanks, Jackie! 

  52. Evonne says

    October 31, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    This makes me so happy!  I know you are feeling so proud.

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 4:07 pm

      We are! 🙂 

  53. Helene says

    October 31, 2012 at 5:43 pm

    That is so awesome, Shell!  You must be super proud of him!!

    Congratulations on Bear doing such a great job…and congratulations to you too!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 4:07 pm

      Thanks, Helene. It was a huge sigh of relief to go in and hear a good report!

  54. Teresa Vanselow says

    October 31, 2012 at 5:48 pm

    What awesome news! It sounds like he got the perfect teacher for him.

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 4:07 pm

      He really did! 🙂 

  55. Carolyn says

    October 31, 2012 at 5:48 pm

    Aw Shell, congratulations.
    And congrats to Bear.

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 4:08 pm

      Thanks, Carolyn! 

  56. Phase Three of Life says

    October 31, 2012 at 7:36 pm

    Yay!! I’m so glad you got to hear all of those positive things. She sounds like a great teacher. You must be so proud!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 4:08 pm

      Very proud! Thank you!

  57. Denise says

    October 31, 2012 at 7:44 pm

    That is awesome! Go Bear!!!!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 4:08 pm

      Thanks, Denise! 

  58. Tracie says

    October 31, 2012 at 10:46 pm

    I love so much that you made a point to share the good news this time. That is a great thing (I have to remind myself, because it is so easy to use a blog as a bit of free therapy when times are bad). 

    Congratulations on the good meeting. I’m happy to hear Bear is having such an amazing year. 

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 4:09 pm

      So easy to make our blogs therapy- but good to balance them out with some good news, too!

  59. sarah says

    November 1, 2012 at 12:54 am

    It is good to know your Bear is doing great Shell . And thanks for sharing this inspiring post .

    Blessings !

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 4:09 pm

      Thanks, Sarah!

  60. thedoseofreality says

    November 1, 2012 at 8:34 am

    This totally made me cry. For different reasons than yours, but reasons all the same, I experienced the same sort of conference for my older daughter this week. And I pretty much had to fight not to burst out into sobs in front of her teacher. 
    Congratulations on this pure joy moment…you and your sweet boy TOTALLY deserve it! 🙂

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 4:12 pm

      So glad that you had that moment, too! Usually, I cry b/c of everything that seems like it’s such a challenge. This time for much happier reasons!

  61. Marta says

    November 1, 2012 at 1:35 pm

    Oh I just started tearing up reading this. I am SO SO SO happy for you. What an amazing achievement. I hope you have much more good news in your future!

    • Shell says

      November 1, 2012 at 4:12 pm

      Thanks so much, Marta!

  62. Tricia says

    November 1, 2012 at 8:09 pm

    So so so happy for you. Good news after so much bad is so much sweeter. Enjoy this moment!

  63. Aria Madison says

    November 1, 2012 at 10:22 pm

    What wonderful news! So happy for you! 🙂

    This was a beautifully written, inspirational post that shows how strong you are! Being able to see the positive and have such a beautiful outlook on tough situations is a rare quality in a person! 

    Thank you for Sharing! 

  64. Christine @ Love, Life, Surf says

    November 2, 2012 at 1:45 am

    That’s really really wonderful and awesome news that things are going well. 

  65. Galit Breen says

    November 2, 2012 at 8:25 am

    HOORAy, you! Just HOORAY for you, your sweet boy, and his teacher who looked for, saw, and communicated the Good!

  66. Jill says

    November 6, 2012 at 7:00 am

    That is wonderful news. It will make me sit back, appreciate, and be grateful for those positive times with my own children. Sometimes we get wrapped up in the negative world. Congrats to you and your Bear!

Trackbacks

  1. 12 secrets to deflecting life’s slings and arrows says:
    October 31, 2012 at 9:24 am

    […] Sharing at NOBH, The Better Mom, Finding Heaven, PYOH […]

  2. Untitled. « Lost and Forgotten says:
    November 1, 2012 at 1:25 pm

    […] with just write and wordful wednesday and pour your heart out Share this:Like this:LikeBe the first to like […]

Welcome to Things I Can't Say: Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom. I'm Shell. Boy mom, beach girl, bookworm, ball games, baker, brand ambassador, Thinking yoga, food, and travel should start with "b," too. Finding the easiest way to do some things while overthinking so many others. Read More…

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