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March 21, 2012 by: Shell

Pour Your Heart Out: A Child’s Confidence

I can still remember the bobby pins holding my bun tight in place.

A gold crown fastened atop the bun.

Sequins sparkling, yellow tutu swishing back and forth.

Ready to take the spotlight and dance.

Not a doubt in my mind that I’d do a wonderful job.

That I was a perfect ballerina.

I was the same age that my oldest is now.

And I see that same excitement in him, that same confidence.

Not in ballet, of course.

But in the way that he thinks he can do anything, the way that he gets excited over being a part of things: or how he thinks he’s the star in his own show.

I hope he keeps that confidence.

That he always feels assured that he will kick ass at whatever he tries(though I hope he doesn’t say it like that until he’s much older).

That total self-belief is hard to hang onto as we get older.

We see others who can do things better than we can, we worry about how we’ll perform, and if we’re good enough.

And we don’t want to appear too cocky, so sometimes we downplay our own abilities.

But confidence can carry you a long way. It can be the difference in succeeding and failing.

Though I’ve managed to reclaim a lot of my own self-confidence and even learned that it’s okay to fake it(and oh, can I fake confidence), I have never quite captured that same fearlessness of that tiara’ed seven year-old.

Maybe if I start wearing a tiara again….

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Comments

  1. Kristen says

    March 21, 2012 at 12:09 am

    So, One of my best friends and I still wear ours. 🙂  Every once in awhile we will have get togethers where we put them on. Because – you do feel like a million bucks. (or a freak show) – but we go for a million. I say wear it. With pride. Because (fake it or not) – you exude confidence. 

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:02 am

      I used to have a tiara. I wonder where it went. 

  2. Heather H says

    March 21, 2012 at 12:22 am

    I’m trying to instill that same kind of confidence in my child. I don’t remember ever having it, and I want her to meet life head-on instead of rather timidly like her mom has done. I’m glad you remember it, and I’m glad your son is that way too. I hope he holds on to that belief for a long, long time.

    And I think the idea of a tiara is splendid!

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:05 am

      I think girls are sometimes taught to be more modest- and that ends up translating into not being confident because it’s taken too far. 

  3. Anna says

    March 21, 2012 at 12:37 am

    Children can be so brave and strong, I wish it was easier to hold on to that confidence as we get older, not compare ourselves so much to others or feel so bad about what we think our shortcomings are. That’s so awesome you see that confidence in your son and remember it from your own childhood. I think even having that memory can help us later in life when we need to summon some of that strength for ourselves. Great post!

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:06 am

      I hadn’t thought about it like that. That memory can help. 

  4. Kimberly says

    March 21, 2012 at 1:38 am

    I admire kids for showing how brave and strong they really are. As an adult, I wish I could have a fraction of that.

    I think wearing the tiara may give you that confidence again. 😉

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:06 am

      Even just a little would make such a difference. 

  5. Simply Brittany says

    March 21, 2012 at 3:08 am

    My brother and sister are at that stage, one even jumped off the roof the other day. It’s their confidence that helps me build mine and I love that about them (and all kids, in general)! 

    Oh, and I say pull out the tiara! 😉

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:07 am

      Ha! Jumping off the roof might be a little far!

  6. Shelly Coulter says

    March 21, 2012 at 5:47 am

    LOVE this! 🙂 I am probably more confident now than I have been since I was a young kid. And I still have a long ways to go. Maybe I should get a tiara too! 🙂 

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:07 am

      Tiaras would help us all!

  7. Raw Thoughts And Feelings says

    March 21, 2012 at 6:05 am

    It’s hard to keep the same confidence feeling we once had as a child, but yes, we could fake it, and rebuild. Beautifully written!

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:07 am

      It would be nice if we could hang on to some of that.

  8. Maggie S. says

    March 21, 2012 at 6:10 am

    Someone sent me a tiara. I recommend it.

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:08 am

      I think I need one!

  9. Sorta Southern Single Mom says

    March 21, 2012 at 6:24 am

    My mom and I used to talk about this with my son too… luckily for him, he still pretty much does excel at everything he does… My Girl, she is confident about things she likes, but that whole, ‘I can’t do it, this is too hard” has always been a part of her. It’s hard to know how to help them keep the confidence while instilling humility and grace!

    Wear the tiara. You’d totally rock the tiara!

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:10 am

      It is a balance. I want my kids to have that humility, but not so much of it that they downplay everything they can do. I was taught to do that and I think it went too far. 

  10. JDaniel4's Mom says

    March 21, 2012 at 6:32 am

    I love the confidence children have in what they can do. I think you should start wearing a tiara too.

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:10 am

      it really is amazing to see how much kids believe in themselves. 

  11. Tracy Wilson says

    March 21, 2012 at 6:32 am

    Awww- your picture is so sweet!
    It’s so easy for us to feel confidence for our kids- we think they’re so great (and they are) but why is it so difficult to impart those same feelings as adults to ourselves. I can fake it too, but when did we lose it?

    Tracy

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:11 am

      I wish I knew!

  12. Making it Work Mom says

    March 21, 2012 at 6:48 am

    Oh my 5 year old has this confidence right now. I love it. Makes me smile every time.

    Somehow I don’t picture you as a ballerina!

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:11 am

      Oh, I wanted to be one! LOL 

  13. Natalie @MamaTrack says

    March 21, 2012 at 6:51 am

    I love the bravado of youth. It’s a gorgeous thing. If only we all had it still. 
    But then again, in the adults that do, it can be a bit much, right? 

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:11 am

      That’s true. It’s a balance in being confident and being overly so. 

  14. Alison@Mama Wants This says

    March 21, 2012 at 6:57 am

    I know what you mean. I feel the same way all the time. We should all wear power tiaras once in a while!

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:12 am

      Yes, we should!

  15. Leigh Powell Hines (@Hinessightblog) says

    March 21, 2012 at 7:14 am

    What an adorable photo of you.  You are so right with your thoughts today.  But, let me tell you….you have a lot to be confident about. 

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:12 am

      Thanks, girl. 

  16. Kmama says

    March 21, 2012 at 8:10 am

    Cute picture.  The other day, I was telling my mom that when I was little, I remember thinking that I wasn’t little.  I felt like an adult…always.  My mom said it was my confidence.  I still have some of that confidence, but like you said, it’s really hard to hang onto all of it.

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:13 am

      I remember feeling that way, too. An old soul, I think.

  17. christina says

    March 21, 2012 at 8:17 am

    oh i definitely feel you on this one. i pray she exudes so much confidence in everything she does, but especially just with who she is… the first step is to lead by example. it’s tough some times, but when i think of her, it’s easier to be confident.

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:14 am

      Our children can really inspire change in us more than anything else, I think.

  18. Galit Breen says

    March 21, 2012 at 8:21 am

    Yes, this. Confidence and resilience. I’m always looking for ways to instill these in my kids. So very important!

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:15 am

      It’s hard to know how to do this. But such an important part of parenting.

  19. Awn says

    March 21, 2012 at 8:28 am

    Shell, I love this post! You are put into words what I feel on a regular basis. Maybe I need a tiara as well. 

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:15 am

      I think we all do!

  20. Pamela says

    March 21, 2012 at 8:28 am

    I love the picture! Somewhere between high school and college my confidence took a dip and it wasn’t until my mid twenties that I recovered it so I really hear what you are saying. I think experience is a great confidence builder; doing things out of your comfort zone and getting ok with failing or feeling the high of succeeding. Knowing that you’ll be there one way or another; it’s important to learn. Thanks for a thoughtful post!

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:16 am

      I think it was junior high for me. 

  21. steph says

    March 21, 2012 at 8:38 am

    I agree…and wish there weren’t so many things (magazines, schools, etc.) working against boosting confidence. I know you didn’t mean to offend, but I certainly hope  you support all those male dancers out there!!

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:17 am

      Of course I didn’t mean to offend. Simply meant that we don’t see that in him in ballet because he’s a soccer kid. 

  22. Sela Toki says

    March 21, 2012 at 8:39 am

    Such sweet childhood memories. You’re so right, our self-confidence can fade as we grow older. Some because of unfortunate circumstances and some because of some kind of fear they carry within their hearts. Whatever it is, it does take its toll on the level of our self-confidences. However, everyone can improve their confidence if they choose to. You’re already teaching your son to be confident. In his own strengths, abilities and in his own skin. Not in comparison to others because when we compare ourselves to others, we almost always come out short.

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:19 am

      Comparing to others never makes us feel good. 

  23. Barbara @ Footprints in France says

    March 21, 2012 at 8:50 am

    I see that in my son and I never want him to lose that spirit.  That picture of you as a ballerina is too cute.

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:20 am

      I hope our kids can keep it!

  24. Ali says

    March 21, 2012 at 8:51 am

    I’ve never had confident which is why I never did anything as a kid. I’d be happy to throw a tiara your way. We’ve got about a dozen to spare. And might I point out that you could basically stick a tiara on any one of your boys and they’d look exactly like you? I never noticed it before! 

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:21 am

      I’d love one. 

      You should see my boys beside my Hubs, though. They are his clones. Especially the youngest. 

  25. Stephanie says

    March 21, 2012 at 9:08 am

    I often wonder at what age I lost all confidence in myself.  I have slowly been building it up over the last few years.  It is so tough though.  I pray that I could help my kids hold on to their confidence longer.

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:21 am

      I wonder if that’s just the natural cycle of things. 

      • Stephanie says

        March 26, 2012 at 3:59 pm

        I think it often is.  There is probably no way around it, but I sure am going to try!

  26. Delilah says

    March 21, 2012 at 9:15 am

    I wish I was as brave as I was when I was a kid. I’m not sure what happened to me to make me lose that bravery and confidence. I hope my kids hold on to theirs and I sure wish I could find mine.

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:23 am

      I hope you do, too.

  27. Mrs. Jen B says

    March 21, 2012 at 9:17 am

    Amen, friend.  We all need to reclaim our awesome.

    It’s funny – I remember a very small window of time when that confidence existed.  I’m pretty sure that once I started school it vanished.  But oh, I was the most fierce four year old you ever saw! 😉

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:25 am

      I bet you were! 

  28. Oka says

    March 21, 2012 at 9:19 am

    You should so wear a tiara again.

    It’s weird how kids can be so different.  

    My oldest, when he was your son’s age, wouldn’t want to try anything he knew he couldn’t do perfectly.  Left of to him, he would of only read and played video games.  I had to heavily encourage him to do recreation sports before high school and to join the marching band (which he L O V E S).

    My next, is overly confident sometimes.  He seems awfully cocky sometimes, but he is the most determined child I have.

    My daughter, oh how I wonder how I have failed her so.  Only 8 and she lacks any self confidence.  I am constantly trying to build her up to believe in herself.  She can do wondrous things, but holds herself back.

    My youngest, he is hard to read…some days he can move mountains.  Others, he can barely move his feet.  LOL

    It’s odd you posted this today.  I was having a talk with myself today (not aloud, all in my head), after kind of discouraging my 11 year old from starting band next year.  I wanted to make sure I discouraged him for the correct reasons and not for selfishness on my part.  It all made me wonder if I was affecting his self confidence.

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:26 am

      It’s hard to know how our decisions will affect our kids. 

      And how different they all are. 

  29. Vinobaby says

    March 21, 2012 at 9:23 am

    We ALL need a tiara on hand to break out when life deems necessary. Maybe that’s why so many brides wear them — that extra little boost of confidence.

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:27 am

      Hmmm… I wonder where mine is from my wedding.

  30. Diana @ A Little Bit of Life says

    March 21, 2012 at 9:24 am

    I think the Tiara would definitely make all the difference in the world! Confidence comes and goes I think. It seems like just as you get comfortable and confident with one thing something else comes along that makes you doubt yourself again.

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:27 am

      That’s so true. It does cycle. 

  31. dollimama says

    March 21, 2012 at 9:26 am

    I could use a tiara every now and then.. great post.

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:27 am

      I think we all could!

  32. angela says

    March 21, 2012 at 9:33 am

    First, how cute are you? Second, of COURSE a tiara would help. Even if you’re just wearing it at home 🙂

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:28 am

      Thank you. 

      I wonder if my hubs would think I’d lost if if he came home to find me wearing one.

  33. Lisa says

    March 21, 2012 at 9:41 am

    That’s such a good feeling, to feel you can do anything.

    Wear the tiara. A see a new link up in your future. 🙂

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:28 am

      Now that would be fun!

  34. RoryBore says

    March 21, 2012 at 9:46 am

    its’s amazing to me that all 3 of my children – though raised in the same home – by the same parents – with the same rules and much voiced encouragement: all have different levels of confidence. My eldest, he’s the worrier and hesitant to charge in. always questioning; fear of failure can sometimes hold him back. My middle girl – pretty much charges right in; very few cirumstances give her a moment’s pause. And the youngest? well currently she is balancing on the back of a chair convinced if she just does a small jump, she will be able to reach that thing way up high! and if she misses? she’ll climb back up and try again. maybe stack something on the chair this time: you can see it on her face “I’ll get it by George!”
    Reflection of my own journey in confidence as a parent?
    I might be on to something there…

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:29 am

      That’s true- we do feel more confident with each child. 

  35. Kristen says

    March 21, 2012 at 9:50 am

    I am constantly trying to reinforce the confidence of my girls, any children in our extended family, close family friends and the girls on the teams I coach. I couldn’t agree with you more on this. I used to believe in myself and now I let doubt creep in and make me feel like I can’t do anything good enough. I am working on building it back up but it isn’t easy. Maybe I will go dig my tiara out of my wedding memory box and put it on when I am feel that doubt lurking around a corner.

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:30 am

      I think that it’s harder in girls. A confident male is applauded and a confident woman is seen as vain. At least sometimes. And that’s not right. 

  36. Moomser says

    March 21, 2012 at 9:51 am

    Wearing a tiara every once in a while, even as adults, is a good reminder that we really are the stars in our own show, and we shouldn’t forget it!

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:31 am

      I think we all need a tiara!

  37. Andrea says

    March 21, 2012 at 9:53 am

    Every now and again my daughter shares her tiaras with me. I totally feel what you’re reflecting on. 😉 The only tiara I ever had was from my wedding day. I loved it. I think it seriously takes over our bodies and creates a confidence we often forget is there. Beautiful post, Shell.

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:32 am

      So fun that she shares with you!

  38. Elaine says

    March 21, 2012 at 9:59 am

    This may be a little long… 

    We are Catholic and last night we parents had a class for those of us who have children about to receive their First Communion.  I was thinking back to when I received mine and how proud and happy I was…

    Later, after I got back to my son and I told him how we were at the meeting to learn how to help him learn about the miracle of this event and the importance of the sacrament he said something so amazing.  He said, “Mom, I cannot wait to walk up there and this time be able to get my own Eucharist!  I’m going to walk with my head held high!!”  Anyway, I know that’s a long and “religious” 😉 comment but I just wanted to reiterate the innocent confidence that we DO have as children and yes, if only we could have it as adults as well.  This kinda goes along with my post, in a way, huh?  

    I think we should all start wearing tiaras!! 😉

    xoxo

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:32 am

      I love that he has that kind of confidence! 

  39. Jenn [ Crippled Girl ] says

    March 21, 2012 at 10:02 am

    I think you’d look pretty fabulous in a tiara 😉 

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:33 am

      I think I might need to start wearing one!

  40. Tiffany says

    March 21, 2012 at 10:17 am

    Great post! Every once in awhile, putting on your tiara and prancing around your room might be a good thing! 🙂

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:33 am

      I think so, too! 🙂 

  41. joann mannix says

    March 21, 2012 at 10:17 am

    I look at my girls and I am amazed and ridiculously happy at their ability to be so comfortable in their own skin. They exude self confidence and nothing makes me more satisfied as a mother. Especially because confidence is a tenuous thing for me. That little voice of self-doubt whispers to me a lot and I try my hardest to shush it. Sometimes I’m successful, sometimes I’m not. 

    I think it should be a fashion law, (along with leggings should never be worn as pants), that tiaras should hold their rightful place in the fashion world. In fact, there should be a day every week designated to the wearing of tiaras. We would all be better for it.
     

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:34 am

      I love that your girls are so confident!

      I have to tell you- I only recently bought a pair of leggings. And I absolutely love them, but I always think Joann says these should not be worn as pants, would what I’m wearing be okay with her? LMAO

  42. Jaime says

    March 21, 2012 at 10:22 am

    I too wish I had the confidence that my 5 year old has. She’s knows withoput a doubt that she will conquer but all I see is me and my failings.

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:35 am

      I wish we could all go back to that 5y/o confidence. 

  43. Charlie says

    March 21, 2012 at 10:25 am

    I can soooooo relate.  My hope is for my boys to never have their confidence and self-esteem broken like I’ve experienced in the past.  This is a great post…thank you for putting yourself out there!

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:35 am

      I hope our kids can keep it 

  44. Christine @ Quasi Agitato says

    March 21, 2012 at 10:39 am

    That unchallenged confidence in children is a beautiful thing to witness and probably in my top five favorite things about being a mother. Ironically, I have as you say so perfectly “reclaimed some of my confidence” through motherhood. Being a mom has been both the most challenging to my confidence AND the map to finding it again. Or perhaps finding it for the first time…I have to think about that one!

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:36 am

      Our kids make us grow in unexpected ways. 

  45. Jennifer says

    March 21, 2012 at 10:43 am

    I think this all the time when I watch my daughter. She thinks she is fabulous all the time. I wish I felt the same way about myself.

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:36 am

      You should, girl. 

  46. Practical Parenting says

    March 21, 2012 at 11:29 am

    So true. At 7, you didn’t think to worry about the criticisms of others or how you stacked up. Now, influence is everywhere. I’ve been on a mission to quiet my own judgments/questions about my own abilities lately and just be in the moment. When I succeed, it’s liberating.

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:36 am

      It’s such a pure belief at that age.

  47. JamieAnne says

    March 21, 2012 at 11:30 am

    Confidence is so much easier when you’re young eh?
    I was a ballerina girl too. I’m not sure I ever got to wear a crown though.

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:36 am

      So much easier!!

  48. JamieAnne says

    March 21, 2012 at 11:31 am

    Confidence is so much easier when you’re young eh?
    I was a ballerina girl too. I’m not sure I ever got to wear a crown though. I did love all the sequins.

  49. Kirsten says

    March 21, 2012 at 11:42 am

    I am ALL for wearing a TIARA once in a while. Goodness knows it’s deserved, esp in your case 🙂

    I also agree that our confidence takes a dive after about 10 yrs old and reappears as much as it can at about 35. I still don’t have it all back, but I wish I did. I look at you and see so much accomplisment, so much to be proud of and I’m thrilled that you are feeling it or faking it…because either way it’s REAL and you should.

    I really liked/needed to read this today…maybe we should start a Tiara Club….celebrating our confidence.

    xoxoxo

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:37 am

      Yes, a Tiara Club would be perfect!

  50. Charlotte says

    March 21, 2012 at 11:42 am

    OMG, you were such a cute little muchkin, Shell! I totally get this. It’s hard to hold on to that confidence so many years later, especially when in childhood, everything seems possible. We just have to remember that sometimes we can still make certain dreams come true, too.

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:37 am

      In childhood, we do think we can do anything. I wish we could all hang on to it. 

  51. Deanna says

    March 21, 2012 at 11:48 am

    I don’t remember ever having that type of confidence :o(   I wish I did back then and that I did now. My confidence is better than it used to be, but still needs a lot of work.

    I’m reading through all of the posts, even though I’m not participating this week!!

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:38 am

      Glad you’re reading! 

  52. Jenn {Mommie Couture} says

    March 21, 2012 at 11:56 am

    You may be the cutest ballerina ever! I remember that crazy confidence until, oddly enough, high school! Got it back in college though, just in time for sorority life. 😉 haha

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 11:39 am

      I think it was junior high for me. And then a few years after college. 

  53. My Inner Chick says

    March 21, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    –Only if we can wear Tiaras every single day 🙂 xx

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 1:38 pm

      Sounds good to me! 🙂 

  54. stephanie @ babe's rockin' mami says

    March 21, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    Fake it til you make it!  Nate is pretty confident too and I hope that only grows as he gets older, but, not into a big douchey ego haha

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 1:38 pm

      LMAO!!! Yeah, we don’t want that.

  55. Christie says

    March 21, 2012 at 12:51 pm

    I think about this all of the time, especially when I see my son run so exuberantly over to the neighbor’s house when he sees the kids out playing.  Even though they are a couple years older than him, he is so confident that they will be just as eager to play with him as he is to play with them.  I certainly was not like this as a child.  I would stand timidly on the fringe waiting for someone to invite me to play.  How I admire his confidence in himself as a friend and person that people want to be around.

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 1:41 pm

      I hope he keeps that confidence!

  56. Caroline says

    March 21, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    You go girl! You wear that tiarra. It would have amazing benefits for sure!

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 1:42 pm

      I bet it would look great at school pick up. 

      • Caroline says

        March 22, 2012 at 3:20 pm

        It SURE would!!

  57. tracy@sellabitmum says

    March 21, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    You my friend would rock a tiara. Even to the grocery store. xoxo

  58. Adrienne says

    March 21, 2012 at 2:12 pm

    This sort of jerked a tear with me. It’s so true that we have this innocent confidence at that age. We haven’t experienced heartbreak or so many of the other confidence shattering things the world has to offer up. My son is 7 too, and he’s going to be a chef, a shamu trainer, a famous artist, and a husband and a father. And let me tell you. I pray he accomplishes ALL of it! And if he has anything to do with it, he’ll be sporting purple crocs on his feet and and hot pink baseball bat in his hand! LOL He’s confidence personified. I wish I could sell it. 

    Clip to my 13 year old…he’s had a harder time in life. Things don’t always seem to flow for him. ( I know you know what I’m talking about.) He has a harder time envisioning his future. He never can quite put his finger on his dreams and desires. I can tell it’s filled with self doubt. He questions whether he’ll be good at this or that. I hate it. Curse this stupid world that breaks our kids. I wish I could slap it, punch it in the face, and spit on it sometimes! 

    Great post!

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 1:42 pm

      I do know what you’re talking about. And it’s heartbreaking.

  59. Kelley says

    March 21, 2012 at 2:29 pm

    I don’t know why, but I am totally tearing up. I guess it is because it all just so…sweet. You look adorable. You look happy, fearless…confident. Your son is those things now. My son, also 7, is those those things now on many days. I wish I could bottle up that passion, that excitement for life. I loved this, Shell.

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 1:43 pm

      I wish we could all stay this way. 

  60. KLZ says

    March 21, 2012 at 2:45 pm

    I had a teacher knock my confidence and call me a braggart. Which…is horrible. Maybe I was? I don’t know but…I’ve never been sure of myself since.

    I’ll buy you a tiara next time I see you 😉

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 1:44 pm

      Ugh, how awful. Teachers don’t always realize how a flippant comment can really stick with us.

      Tiaras all around at the next conference. 

  61. Angie says

    March 21, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    Such a cute picture! I would love to have that confidence and my outgoing personality back!!

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 1:44 pm

      You always seemed so confident to me! I envied that. 

  62. Recovering Supermom says

    March 21, 2012 at 3:16 pm

    I love that my children still feel like they can do anything, too (for the most part). It’s a beautiful time in childhood. 🙂

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 1:46 pm

      Such a beautiful and innocent time. 

  63. Paula @ Simply Sandwich says

    March 21, 2012 at 4:01 pm

    I remember that “I can do anything” feeling and so wish I could get that back. I love when I watch my children and they have that look of pride on their face. There is nothing like it! I think the tiara wearing would do the trick! 🙂

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 1:47 pm

      Such a powerful, freeing feeling!

  64. Emmy says

    March 21, 2012 at 4:36 pm

    I remember watching Alex dance in the grocery store isle once and I longed just to be able to let go and dance with her– as yes that freedom and confidence of childhood is wonderful.

    Love the picture!

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 1:55 pm

      I think you should dance with her. 🙂

  65. Kim says

    March 21, 2012 at 4:46 pm

    I totally thought that you captured Bear being silly wearing a tiara!!
    It is hard to keep that confidence. So many people tell you that you aren’t good enough, not pretty enough, etc.

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 1:56 pm

      It’s hard when there are people tearing you down. Even my mom telling me when I was a child that it was a good thing I was smart because I wasn’t getting by on my looks. Gee, thanks, Mom. 

  66. Amber says

    March 21, 2012 at 5:09 pm

    I think we all deserve a tiara. Especially if it can magically transport us back to the confidence of our childhood.

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 1:57 pm

      Wouldn’t that be great? I think I should get one.

  67. Denise says

    March 21, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    Please sign me up for a confidence inducing tiara!

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 1:57 pm

      We should be able to get a bulk discount!

  68. Kimberly says

    March 21, 2012 at 7:31 pm

    i am terrible with confidence. Do you know how many times I read then re-read posts before i publish them and then I still worry if they’re even good enough..gah!

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 1:58 pm

      I understand that! Sometimes, I have to make myself stop reading or I know I’ll never hit that publish button.

  69. Teresa (Embracing the Spectrum) says

    March 21, 2012 at 7:53 pm

    I could use some confidence

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 1:58 pm

      Maybe from a tiara. 😉 

  70. Rach (DonutsMama) says

    March 21, 2012 at 8:55 pm

    I too wonder where along the way we lose the confidence and assurance we once had. How does it happen? More importantly, how can we get out kids to retain it??

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 1:58 pm

      I hope we can figure it out!

  71. Christine @ Love, Life, Surf says

    March 21, 2012 at 9:05 pm

    So very true. I’ve been thinking about this a lot too lately – how to instill the nurture confidence in my kids. It’s amazing when I see it shine through in my boys and I wish that I carried more of that within myself. However, I did recently buy some sparkly headbands for working out and boy, when I have those on, I feel like I can conquer anything!

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 1:59 pm

      The grown-up version of a tiara! Love it!

  72. Tammy says

    March 21, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    I wish I had that 7 year old confidence too! I am an expert at faking it at times! 🙂

    I am really late in linking up. Had it done this morning but have been offline most of the day…oops! I still linked up though! 🙂
    xoxo

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 2:00 pm

      Faking it helps. 

      Glad you linked up! I am only about halfway through, but I’m getting to yours soon! 

  73. Jessica says

    March 21, 2012 at 9:43 pm

    My daughter is 8 and she is full of self confidence (most of the time) but the problem we are having is that she is coming off as arrogant with that self confidence. She walks around talking about how awesome she is. We are trying to teach her to act awesome instead of saying she is awesome. But I do hope that she never loses her confidence in herself. 

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 2:01 pm

      It can be a fine line.

      I was taught to always downplay my abilities. To the point of taking it too far. 

  74. Lisa ~ AutismWonderland says

    March 21, 2012 at 9:59 pm

    You could totally rock a tiara!  I say, GO FOR IT!!  

    And when you’re done with it, can you pass that bad boy on to me?  

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 2:01 pm

      I think we both need them!

  75. Just Jennifer says

    March 21, 2012 at 10:50 pm

    You should don a tiara and have someone take a pic and just keep it somewhere you can take it out and glance at it every once in awhile. You know, to remind you.

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 2:01 pm

      That’s a great idea!

  76. Runnermom-jen says

    March 21, 2012 at 11:33 pm

    I think you’d look fabulous in a tiara. 
    I hope the same for my kids. Self-confidence without being cocky or arrogant…perfectly said. 

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 2:02 pm

      Hopefully, we can figure out how to instill that!

  77. Sela Toki says

    March 22, 2012 at 3:59 am

    Wow, sorry to post a second time but I finally linked up for the first time. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. Yippee..

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 2:02 pm

      Glad to hear it! I haven’t read all of them yet, but I’m getting there!

  78. SassyModernMom says

    March 22, 2012 at 8:32 am

    Sigh…we could all us the power of a good Tiara. I hope my girls hang on to thier confidence too!

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 2:05 pm

      We need to all have tiaras!

  79. molly says

    March 22, 2012 at 10:35 am

    How cute were you?! My mom kept all of our dance recital costumes. I had a yellow one that I will never forget. Somewhere along the line, I lost my free spirit and confidence. I used to be such a social butterfly but that seemed to change when I became a mother.

    I know I need to work harder at believing in myself so my kids learn this skill themselves!

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 2:05 pm

      I lost mine in junior high and started to get it back after college. Though I could definitely still use help.

  80. Marta says

    March 22, 2012 at 11:39 am

    I wish we could have the same confidence and fearlessness of our younger selves. I try to remind myself what do you really have to lose? But even then it is still sometimes hard to put yourself out there and take those chances!!

    • Shell says

      March 22, 2012 at 2:05 pm

      It is hard- but really, it’s worth trying!

  81. Kristin @ What She Said says

    March 23, 2012 at 11:17 am

    I never know how to react when people note how “confident” I appear to be. I don’t know whether to laugh because it’s all such bravado, or cry because they really have no idea how exhausting it is to live inside my own head with all the self-doubt. 

    I marvel at my 2YO’s confidence. In her mind, there’s pretty much nothing she can’t do. She’ll walk right up to a group of kids on the playground and join them in their play. It’s such a marked difference from me at that age. I never had that confidence; not in making friends or otherwise. And one of my biggest hopes as a new mother was that she didn’t “inherit” that quality from me. Right now, it appears she didn’t – and so I just pray that she continues to approach life with the type of gusto I never had as a child. 

  82. Savannah says

    March 25, 2012 at 10:22 pm

    I have confidence in some aspects of life (work) and much less in others (home). It’s so strange to feel so different in two settings yet I’m the same person. I hope my daughter never lacks confidence or at least never lets her lack of confidence make her feel like less of a person – this is always on my mind.

Trackbacks

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Welcome to Things I Can't Say: Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom. I'm Shell. Boy mom, beach girl, bookworm, ball games, baker, brand ambassador, Thinking yoga, food, and travel should start with "b," too. Finding the easiest way to do some things while overthinking so many others. Read More…

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