Things I Can't Say

Tips and Tales from an Introverted Mom

No More Babies in This House

The first time that I saw that double line show up telling me I was going to have my first little baby, I was a little surprised, even though we’d been trying. I didn’t think it would happen that quickly.

The second time I saw that double line, I wasn’t shocked at all. After all, the day before, I had decided that I wanted a huge glass of milk and chugged it down. I never want milk unless I’m pregnant. So, I barely glanced at the stick: I knew what it would say.

But, with my third, I looked at the double line and thought This thing must be broken. And so I did another test. Hmmm, this pack must be defective.

And so I bought a different brand and tried again the next morning. Okay, I guess I’m really pregnant.

We weren’t trying at the time. We also weren’t doing anything to prevent a pregnancy, so we weren’t not trying either. Three or four kids was always our plan.

But, I had also just returned to work (part-time) for the first time in almost three years. Which is how I justify not realizing that I’d actually missed two periods by the time that I took a pregnancy test. I tried to insist that I’d just missed one- which led my OB to think that perhaps I was carrying twins since I was measuring big.

When we found out Cub was only one baby, just due about a month or so sooner than I thought, I was relieved. I had been panicking at the thought of having four children under the age of four. Three under four was scary enough.

Cub’s birth was the easiest of the three. Since my other two had been born very quickly and we were living 45+ minutes away from the hospital, I was induced with him and given a blessed epidural, unlike my first which was natural and my second where there was enough time to give me a little something, but, nothing like the epidural, which allowed me to be a lot calmer than with my other two.

It was two years ago today that my little Cub was born. Why do I call him Cub? Because of all that hair! He looked just like a baby bear.  Look at my cute little newborn.

And months passed quickly….

And in a blink of an eye, he was one:
And I vowed not to blink any more.
But, somehow, my baby is now 2.
If you ask him how old he is, he tells you THREE. I try to correct him and tell him TWO, but he insists that he is three already.
And with that, I realized that I don’t have any more babies in my house. That they are all growing up so quickly. The baby gear and clothes are slowly all making their way out the door.
There will be no more pregnancy tests with double lines in this house, no more anticipation of a new baby’s arrival. No more first smile, first time rolling over, first time sitting up, first crawl, first spitting out of baby food, first step, first sleeping through the night, first word.
Now, it’s lasts. Last firsts. The last time that I get to see one of my babies hit a milestone for the first time.
I think I understand why the baby of the family is forever treated like, well, a baby.
So, my dear Cub, I know you want to grow up quickly and be able to do all that your big brothers can do, but please forgive Mommy for wanting to keep you as a baby for a little while longer.
Because you are my last baby. Happy 2nd Birthday, Cub!

Comments

  1. AWww he is a cutie and LOOK at all that hair!!! Happy Birthday lil man

  2. It just made my body ache to look at those precious baby shots of your cub. I am DYING over here for another baby. And it would figure, the Guinea Pig is pregnant—but not me….waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

  3. Wow, he's adorable. Happy birthday little guy. Happy birthday to you as well Shell.

  4. Okay, first of all, he is seriously gorgeous!!! I love all of his hair and I'm sure that my Hailey would be jealous!

    Second of all, I'm so envious of your baby gear leaving the house…for that, you are very very lucky.

    Third, maybe this is why I had twins…we hit all milestones together and then they're gone…no one else has to hit them. We enjoy each of them to their fullest b/c we know that this is it.

    Happy Birthday Cub!!! Let your Mommy hold you like a little baby for a just a minute, okay?

  5. Happy birthday to Cub!
    wow, that IS a lot of hair! And so dark to start and now so light!

  7. Happy Birthday to him. I only have two but am struggling with my "baby" turning 2 in August. My oldest will be starting a full day pre k program in September.

    Hugs to you Momma. Hug that "baby" tight!!

  8. Happy Birthday to that beautiful little boy!! It does go SO fast! No more pink lines for me either I've recently decided. It's a little sad, but then again we have so much fun together doing things as a family now that he's older, so I try and remember that whenever I think about starting over!

  9. I'm going through much of the same feelings, knowing that our baby is the last. I'm trying to enjoy every day because, like you said, there will be no more firsts.

    Found you on SITS. Glad I did 🙂

  10. Happy 2nd Birthday to that sweet boy! I'm surprised his hair has lightened up so much since he was born. He is going to be a heartbreaker!

  11. Awe I remember my last baby- its sad to see all those "last's" happen.
    But with that you have a super handsome little guy- and im sure a beautiful family =]

  12. I really understand what you are feeling. My babies will be 3 in a couple weeks. We are so far removed from the baby stage and it kind of makes me sad but also, happy.

    Happy Birthday, Cub.

  13. Such a sweet post about your Cub…what a cutie all the way around..

    Happy Birthday Cub!

  15. Aww Happy Birthday little guy! I love looking at the pics of him as he grows, I love when people post time lines like that 🙂 He's so cute, all three of yours are!

  17. Aw! What a sweet post!

    You have a very handsome little man on your hands. I love that his hair is getting lighter.

    Happy 2nd Birthday Cub!

  18. Aww Happy Birthday Cub! And big hugs Shell, he may be your last "baby" but you have years of mommying ahead of you!

  19. Posts like this and your PYHO make you one of my all time favorite bloggers. It looks effortless and you tell a story with such grace and charm

  23. Happy Birthday Cub! He is so cute and those eyes!!!! Both my girls had full heads of hair. You are so right, the baby is always the baby!

  26. Happy Happy Birthday Cub! Two already! Hope you keep that head of hair for a very very very long time 😉

  27. Awe how sweet…you son is beautiful. Happy Birthday to him. I know there won't be any more babies in this house either..kinda of sad about it!

  28. He is so adorable!!! Happy birthday to him. You still have a lifetime of firsts to go through with him!!

  33. Okay his baby picture made my ovaries twitch…a lot!!!

    I was the same way with my 3rd babe…I took 5 tests because I was like NO WAY…I had an 11 month old still!

    But seriously I want to keep him a baby forever too! 😉

  35. I'm having this same issue right now. My baby is two 1/2 and all of the baby stuff is going and I'm like whaaaaat? lol

    Happy Birthday Cub! My daughter turned 5 today.

  36. Happy Birthday Cub! I'm so right there with you. I'm realizing just how fast it's flying by. But, seriously, can they just be in kindergarten already??? Just one????

    Lots of yummy love,
    Alex aka Ma, What's For Dinner
    http://www.mawhats4dinner.com

  39. I can't get over all his hair! Too cute! Happy birthday, Cub!

    My son, who's 4, has been insisting that he is 6 for the past two years now. And that no epidural thing… ya, it stinks! I couldn't get one either for either kid.

  40. Awww…sad Momma. I went through all of those feelings with Kamden. Then we got our surprise Khylee a few months ago. Babies really do bring so much joy into the house. But, trust me, it's really nice when they are all self sufficient too!

    Kenna had hair like that when she was a baby. She looked like she came out with a wig on she had so much hair.

  42. Our youngest is two now and it's killing me. You would think I would be happy about it, but I'm not. Being a mommy is more about who you are than what you do. I have been pregnant or nursing for the past 15 years and now I'm done. No more nursing, no more babies, no more diapers. OK, maybe I'm happy about the diapers thing.

  43. He is so adorable! I love all that hair and those eyelashes! Happy 2nd birthday to your sweet Cub. 🙂

  44. That is SO sweet!!! I think we're on our last baby too. Come see pictures!

    And you can pick up the award I just gave you.

    shawna-mygirls.blogspot.com

  46. What a sweet and "real" post!! Loved it!!

    Happy Birthday to your last little cub!

  47. Aw, Happy Birthday little man!

    My baby is 3. Poor kid is gonna be called baby forever. I tell him to stop growing and he gets soooo mad! LOL

  48. I hate when "firsts" start to become "last". 🙁 My boys are 11 and 5, and there are no more babies here either. I am finding joy in being a big kids' mom too, though. I still love to look in on them sleeping, and watch them do new things. They will always be my babies! Thanks for sharing these adorable pics. Your little cub is so precious! Happy birhtday!

  49. Happy birthday little Cub! You are adorable! And mom, while you may want him to stay little a while longer, pretty soon you will start to enjoy the freedom. You will start to slather love on other people's babies and it'll be awesome (specially cause you can give em back when they poop or puke!)

  50. Look at how much his hair has lightened. He's a cutie and deserves to be the baby 😀 (even if I still hate being refereed to as the baby).

  51. Oh. For real. The "last firsts." My guy is potty training [about done for real]…so to have no diapers, after 5 long years of diapers…I'm not sure what we'll do with all the extra money?! :p
    Happy Birthday to your cute Cub. And I mean C-U-T-E!

  52. I understand. All of it. The longing, the relief, the understanding that this is it, and we're leaving Babyland for good.

  53. That was beautiful, Shell.

    Happy Birthday to your sweet boy.

    I know exactly how you feel, my baby is 12. The days whooshed by me faster than I ever knew possible. How bittersweet this raising of children is. It all goes too fast.

  54. Happy Birthday Cub! Wow 2 years old!

    It's okay mom, Brad is still my baby at 7…it's hard to think of him like that when I see him being all grown up…but he will always be my baby.

  55. How sweet.
    I know the feeling exactly.

    Enjoy. Maybe your baby and my baby can be friends some day and wonder together why no one will let them grow up!!

  57. Oh my. That is a VERY cute Cub. My goodness. There is just something special about the third (and final) one, isn't there? Mine is 14 months and I'm glad he's still a baby (that still counts as a baby, right? RIGHT?!?!). Truth be told, I so know I'm done. Yes, I miss some of the newborn/infant stuff, but not being pregnant, not giving birth, not the sleepless nights, not trying to lose the weight, not being able to take a shower…the list goes on!

  58. This is a beautiful post, your emotions speak through your words so clearly. As the mother of an only I feel that way too, part of me is all eager to see what comes next, but the other half of me is silently saying "slow down, I haven't had enough time to enjoy this stage yet!"

    Happy birthday to your beautiful little boy

  59. awe you made my cry.

    Happy Birthday to your little boy.

    love this

  60. Happy Birthday to Sweet Mas!!!

    Look how light his hair looks!! Is it just the picture or has it really gotten that light?!?!

  61. Oh he is sooooo adorable!!! Happy Birthday to him. No their are no longer babies in the house, but there are many many firsts to see and look forward to.

  62. He is so adorable! I am also done with having any more babies. It is sad, but I just can't imagine going through all of it again!

  63. How sweet is this! It's going to be so hard for me to not have a baby in my house! I LOVE my baby girl and the hubbs and I are already going to start trying for #2!

    Happy Birthday Cub! 🙂

  64. Happy Birthday to him! What a doll! I can so totally relate to this post. I am a bit behind you, but there will be no more babies here either and I have thought so much about the last firsts. In one way it is really nice because I think it really makes you appreciate their being a baby and every stage thereafter.

  65. Happy birthday to your little boy!!!! He's a cutie. Your little ones still have a lot of firsts ahead of them.

  66. Happy Birthday, Cub!

    This post melted my heart but that beautiful boy of yours…oh my he is priceless!

  67. Oh my goodness, he is seriously one of the cutest babies I have ever seen! He is just too adorable!

  68. He is a doll….My little grandson Jack…is 2 and he insists that he is five….Everytime…

  69. "There will be no more pregnancy tests with double lines in this house, no more anticipation of a new baby's arrival. No more first smile, first time rolling over, first time sitting up, first crawl, first spitting out of baby food, first step, first sleeping through the night, first word."

    That makes me sad!!!!!

  71. Such a sweet post, Shell! Happy birthday, Cub! He does have a gorgeous head of hair. 🙂

  72. Happy Birthday to your special little boy! And my son is still my baby, even though he towers over me!

  73. Awwww Happy Birthday CUB!!! He is so pretty…I know boys aren't pretty but he is! His hair really lightened up. Kelly was blonde and hers darkened.

  74. I am in exactly the same place as you… no more babies 🙁
    It's not that I want more… it's just hard to get your head around the fact that THIS IS YOUR LAST.

    My youngest of three, my baby, turned two about a month ago.

    He is a big strong strapping boy who loves to be in amongst the action with his big bro and sis.

    But I still call him my baby. And my baby forever he'll be 🙂

    Happy birthday Cub. You are gorgeous.
    xx

  75. Oh, Shell, that was the most beautifully written post ever! Happy 2nd birthday sweet baby boy!

    And I almost said 3rd birthday…ha!

    xo

  78. what a cutie! I hope his birthday was great!!! I get so sad thinking that there is no more babies, but then I freak out… could I handle another?!?! 🙂

  80. Happy birthday to you both. He may have been born but you did all the work so celebrate together. Give him cake. You have wine:)

  82. My last baby is nine, and I'd probably put a diaper on her and give her a bottle if she'd let me.
    Happy Birthday to Cub!

  84. Scooby is my last baby too, so I totally understand. I'm glad that he really isn't in too much of a rush.

  85. Awwww…you are making my uterus hurt. What a sweet BABY boy! I already baby my toddler…I'm scared how bad it will be if/when there is a third.

  87. Thanks for stopping by. I am now following from FMBT!I so know the feeling of first lasts. In fact, I just wrote about this very thing over the weekend.My baby turned three and keeps saying she's 5 ( like her older sister).Your cub is adorable! Happy MOthering!
    http://motherhoodthetruth.blogspot.com

  88. so, so adorable… awww!!! okay, that is funny about him saying he is three, my little reese(2) is doing that too, only he thinks he is 5, and he will argue all day long about it. =)

  89. wow, that was an insane amount of hair! He's a serious cutie. And Happy belated birthday.

  90. Ohmygoodness, look at all that hair! Happy Birthday to your sweet cub:) I understand about your baby growing up, mine will be in kindergarten this fall:(

  91. This made me cry. For some many reasons. First, it is beautifully written. But also, I am struggling with a few things. The big big big reason that we will not have a third is the damn economy. I can NOT fit one into this house. We only have two bedrooms as it is, and the kid's is small small small. Secondly, I am just not sure. Which I have never been. I just wish I didn't have so many "last first" regrets and sadness.

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