There are times when I look at my fourth grader’s math homework these days and just shake my head.
My biggest problem with the recent changes in math is that what I assume was intended to teach kids to think about problems in different ways is now forcing them to think in one specific way or their answer is wrong.
The idea of teaching kids that there are different methods to solving a math problem: I’m all for it. This is really nothing new. I did this when I taught math, even though it’s been almost 10 years now since I was a classroom teacher.
Teaching different strategies, just explaining again with slightly different words: sometimes that was all it took for it to click for a child. And if there was a way to solve a problem that made the most sense to a particular student, then that was the way they were encouraged to do it, even if it wasn’t the way that I thought was the easiest or most efficient.
What was important was that they understood what they were doing.
The way that a lot of the math problems are set up today, kids have to approach them in the way specified or they can’t get the correct answer since the question deals with the given process and has very little to do with if the child actually understands that mathematical concept.
It seems to do the exact opposite of what the original intention was. Instead of teaching that there are many different methods to solve a problem and they can use what makes the most sense to their learning style, it forces a way that might feel totally unnatural.
It’s enough to make me rant that I hate homework or that I hate math these days.
So, despite being a former teacher, former math department chair, current math tutor, and all-around numbers geek, I get why I hear so many moms talk about how they hate math and how it’s so hard.
I really do.
But…
Moms, I’m going to ask you to stop doing something.
Please stop saying math is too hard for you.
Don’t tell your kids you’ve never been good at math.
Don’t tell them they have to wait until Dad gets home because Mom doesn’t know how to help them with math.
The majority of the students I tutor in math are girls. And when they are sharing their frustration about not understanding a concept, they often share that their moms say those things to them at home.
I lost track of the number of times it came up in parent teacher conferences that mom had never been good at math.
Talking homework with other moms at school, it’s rare to come across the mom who is enthusiastic about math. Or even lukewarm about it.
Be careful that your words aren’t teaching your daughter that math is hard for girls.
Or teaching your son the same thing, though with boys, that might teach them the misconception that they’re smarter than any girl in math, which is an obnoxious way to think… but not as damaging as allowing our girls to think that just because they’re girls, they can’t possibly be good at math.
I know that’s not your intention. I know you want your girls to think they can accomplish anything and that they’re intelligent.
But from working with girls, I can tell you that is the exact negative message some of them are getting: that math and girls aren’t a good combination.
Now look, I haven’t had reason to do math beyond elementary level and a little algebra since I took Calculus in high school, 20 years ago. That level of math isn’t something the majority of us need on a daily basis, but elementary math?
We can do this.
It might not be your favorite thing. And you might hate the way that your child has to do math these days.
But you can still do it.
And if a specific problem throws you off, it’s okay to say “I’m not sure how to do this problem” but don’t say “I don’t know. I can’t do math.”
We can admit we don’t have all the answers, but we can also let our kids know that we don’t have to let one small problem define us or our abilities.
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Great advice! Something I need to remember when my little gets older. Math is definitely my weakest subject, but I am going to do my best to help my son understand it. I may just have to learn right along with him.
I never really thought about it this way, but it’s true. I’m like you and like math and numbers so even if I don’t know how my elementary child is supposed to do a problem with these new processes, we can eventually figure it out. Thankfully my daughter excels at math because it’s been quite some time since I’ve done algebra!
And if you think about it, this topic could cover a lot of subjects. We should be careful what we say we don’t like or aren’t good at because we don’t know how our children will interpret it.
Exactly. It can go with a dad saying he doesn’t like to read (not that I’m giving an example from my husband or anything 😉 ).
It’s funny reading this I was reminded of being in 8th grade and barely passing algebra and my Mom saying wait for your Dad to get home, he’s good at math . And as someone who is not good at math I really need to remember not to say those things as Jack gets older.
It does get to be a little more of a challenge not to say these things as they get older. If mine take calculus eventually, they’ll probably be on their own. Or I’ll just have to say that it has been 30 years since I took it(by the time they are taking it).
The thing is, I AM bad at math. I failed algebra in high school and I haven’t gotten much better at it over the years making it nearly impossible for my to help my 8th grader with his algebra homework. I also don’t think this is a “girl” thing. My husband passes the kids off to me for their Language Arts homework. We all have our strengths and weaknesses; it’s what makes the world go round.
It definitely applies to more than just one subject or even gender. Just trying to make a point. And yes, everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, but hearing it from parents whose kids are in lower elementary can be very disheartening and can set a child up to think they can’t ever learn it, any of it, not just the more advanced math(or whatever the subject is).
Helping with homework fell to me with Turbo. I can do math. I’m not quick at it and need paper and pencil to figure it out a lot of the time, but I can do it. The frustration came in doing it the way the teacher wanted it done. Which was totally counter to the way I learned it in school. However, having Turbo explain how he was supposed to do math often helped him understand it better and me help him more effectively.
It is kind of sad that math has become so intimidating to so many. I know I can do math, but not quickly. That was the part that always intimidated me–the speed they wanted some of it done in…
We don’t have to have all the answers for our kids. Just asking “So, what’s the first step you’re supposed to do?” can help them remember the way their teacher taught them. We don’t have to be able to do it for them.
Yes to everything! My daughter was marked wrong on her math assignment last week because she wrote the word total instead of sum. Are you kidding me? It’s bad enough that she has to explain the concept in written form in the first grade but she can’t even use synonyms? We are the opposite in my house, as a former teacher math is something I’m pretty good at. I have to remind my husband not to say he was bad at reading or that he doesn’t like it. I don’t want my kids to use that as an excuse.
I have to remind my husband the same thing about reading.
I hate the really picky way that math is being approached these days. The kids might understand how to do something but get a poor grade because they don’t do it the way specified.
I actually really really loved Math as a child and up to high school. I loved finishing and find out I got the answer correct. When I got to college I had some HORRIBLE Math teachers, and I struggled which I wasn’t it used to. However I still do love Math. Now my husband is an ace at Math and probably why he got his degree in engineering. I think for me I have to learn the concept and then practice it…and then I have it and know it. He’s more where he can not know how to do it and think hmmm…how can I solve this. We can all be good at Math but we all have different ways of understanding it, and it makes me sad that they are only teaching one way to learn 🙁
It’s a weird way that they teach. It’s actually teaching multiple ways(which I approve of) but then they’ll specify a certain way for a certain problem and it will be wrong if they don’t do it that way. I don’t agree with that at all.
My boys are good at math but my middle son feels like he’s in his own personal hell when he has to draw a picture to explain how he got the answer.
Well said! I especially agree when you’re talking elementary math. Of course, it’s easy for me to say all this – I was a math girl!
And it’s really the elementary math that I’m worried about- b/c what the kids think about math at that age will help set them up for later. Yet I hear so many elementary parents talking about how they are bad at it.
I think people’s anti-math comments are about change as much as anything. It’s different than the homework we did and we’re having to learn something new, as adults. It’s out of my comfort zone and sometimes, I tend to “poo poo” things that are out of my comfort zone. But, I agree with what you say.
I had an older guy say to me once, “Young ladies aren’t so good at math, you know.” He said it so matter of factly and it just made me cringe!!!!
Yet there will always be changes. I remember my parents saying it was different when I was a kid. It’s just something we need to think about since our kids hear us.
PREACH!!!! I love this post (and I’m a math teacher whose mother “couldn’t do math”). Love it!
There was still a lot of “girls aren’t good at math” going around when I was growing up instead of “girls can do anything.” But that was just how my brain worked. And I loved proving people wrong. But I think a lot of girls heard those same things and got discouraged.
I really like this and it is so true. One of my son’s classmates, who excels in math and reading was saying she hates math and her mother was saying the same thing. I said I loved it until you got to this crazy wacky calculus stuff, but that my sister is an engineer so that she would love it. I love that they are showing them these different ways to do it, but also hate that so much of the grade is about the process. At our school, the use an analogy to a tool box, and all these different processes were different tools that they need. My son told me Monday night while doing his homework that his tool box was getting to full and why can’t he just keep one or two of each type of tool instead of so many varied ones. I loved it and shared it with the math coach. He wasn’t thrilled with the too many tools but he was happy that someone was actually listening.
I really like that analogy and even agree with them teaching different methods. I just hate when they say for this problem you have to use this tool and ignore the rest of your toolbox or it’s wrong.
I admit, I am guilty. But I have been better lately and my oldest has already started pre-algebra! I know! ;-p. I will not say it to my daughter, I promise. Excellent suggestion, my friend!
I can’t promise that I won’t want to throw my hands up in defeat once mine are in more advanced maths, but in the lower grades, when kids are building their confidence, that’s when I think it’s most important to be encouraging.
You know, that drives me crazy too, and I hear TEACHERS say it too. “I’m not good at math.” Hey. It’s not something to shout from the rooftops! The kids say it enough to themselves. Show them that either (a) you’re resourceful enough to figure out how to solve the problem even though it’s hard for you or (b) you know how to find someone who can help you both, but don’t tell them you can’t!!
Yesterday morning, after posting this, I was in my oldest’s Language Arts class. One of the kids asked the teacher for help with a math problem(it’s part of their morning work) and she said “I told you, I don’t do math. I can’t even count.”
I wanted to bang my head against the wall.
As always, you are the voice of reason, Shell!
I am guilty for this. Math really is my weak point but since I am a single mom I have to help my boy with it. Great message Shell!
We all have a weak point. But we can still be encouraging to our kids!
I couldn’t agree more. Not just because it makes Mom appear – how to say this – not the way she wants to appear, but moreover because it’s irrelevant whether that she was or wasn’t good at math. I also don’t believe people are “bad” at things as much as they just aren’t interested.
Especially with elementary math. It can be figured out. It’s true what teachers say- we do actually use elementary math in our everyday lives. It can have more to do with a desire to try.
Wow, I never thought of things this way before. I will have to keep this in mind! It’s funny, you have to change the way you think once you have kids. Everything is about setting a good example for them. It can be hard sometimes, but at the end of the day it’s just making me a better person! 🙂
I totally agree with the need for women to speak more confidently about their math abilities. This Common Core math may seem hard, but it’s just different. Personally, I’ve used at least 3 different ways to teach every objective to try and make the skill click for every child. But it all depends on the teacher and also how the district is assessing the standard. Have you checked out the Smarter Balanced Practice tests to see what students are expected to do? It’s nuts. I really feel bad for my kids when it comes to this new math assessment.