Maybe your second cousin’s neighbor’s grandson went to the doctor and was given medication for ADHD after a five minute office visit. And you scoff that medication is given out like candy. That there’s no thought put into it and ADHD is overdiagnosed when really, that kid just needs to learn to calm down.
And you know, maybe that did happen to your second cousin’s neighbor’s grandson.
Or maybe you just don’t know the whole story. I’ve written about one of my boys’ ADHD plenty before, as well as in defense of ADHD medication. How meds were life-changing for my son and for our family. Of course I’m not saying they work for everyone or that they are the answer, but they are for us, for now.
However, I never went into detail about the process of starting medication. But since I’ve heard a few too many off-handed comments about how quickly kids are put on meds for it, I thought I’d share our story to show you that it’s not always easy and also that maybe there’s more to someone’s story than what you know.
In September of 2011, we started the evaluation process with a phone call to the doctor. We’d already had other evaluations done, we were already aware our son had certain challenges, but this was the point where it was affecting his day-to-day life and he wasn’t able to participate in school to any meaningful way and we knew we needed to figure things out.
We picked up evaluation questionnaires, filled them out, had his teachers fill them out, and then sent them to the doctor. We had an appointment two weeks later, where the doctor asked some questions and referred us to an occupational therapist to help with some of our son’s more immediate needs and to a psychologist who specializes in children’s psychological testing. We couldn’t get an appointment for that testing until December 2011.
In December 2011, we took him to the psychologist for three different evaluation sessions, each lasting for the majority of a morning. We didn’t get the results until January 2012.
We then had to make an appointment with our doctor, seeing her in February 2012. She went over the results with us again and let us know our options. We tried different strategies with him as well as therapies, all with very minimal success.
In August 2012, we made an appointment with the doctor to talk about medication and we got in in September. We did have to fill out the same evaluation questionnaires again, as well as have his teachers fill them out. Because we’d had the psychological testing done and because we’d already tried other options, this is when we went to trying medication.
And it worked. Not the first dosage of the first med, but the second dosage and then later, an additional medication added. Every 3-6 months, we have to fill out those questionnaires again and go meet with the doctor to discuss how he’s doing and talk about any side effects(his side effects have been minimal but the medications very effective).
If you actually read through all those steps, then I’m impressed by your patience. Patience was something we had to have throughout this process, which, in case you skimmed because all those doctor’s appointments made your eyes cross(imagine actually going through it instead of just reading it) took a year from the time we initiated the process to when my child was started on medication.
A year. With over 2 years before that where he went through other evals.
There was nothing quick, easy, and thoughtless about it. Not from us as his parents or from any of his doctors.
Maybe there are doctors out there who prescribe ADHD medication the first time a parent mentions a concern. Maybe. But maybe they’re suggesting it because after years of knowing the child, they’ve had their own concerns noted in that child’s chart. Or maybe not. There are exceptions out there. But when I’ve talked to other moms whose children are on medication for ADHD, their stories are much more similar to mine than to that of your second cousin’s neighbor’s grandson.
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You forgot to mention that many ADHD meds are classified as controlled substances — the doctor cannot just phone in a refill (paper script is required); the pharmacy can only dispense a 30-day supply at a time; not all pharmacies dispense dispense controlled substances, and there are often drug shortages.
Very true. We just needed a refill and while our doctor will mail the scripts to us instead of us having to pick them up, I have to be sure to call in with enough time so that it gets here in time even if the mail is slow. We cut it close this time. Also, one of his meds is almost impossible to find. Especially in the generic form and since the brand name isn’t medically necessary, if we want it anyway, we have to pay full price.
I’ve lost count of the times I’ve gone to the pharmacy and they have been out of my ADD meds. It is frustrating. Plus the cost varies widely between pharmacies.
We had about 6 months or so where we didn’t have insurance to pay for any of it, so we were having to pay for it all out of pocket. These were not cheap, not even the generics. But we had to do it because it’s not just something that provides a little help, it’s a necessity for my son to be able to function.
I am so glad you shared all the steps! I think some people think it is a quick and easy process.
I hadn’t before because I thought who wants to listen to all that? But maybe that’s the problem- people who don’t go through it just know that a child went to the doctor and got a prescription, they don’t hear the rest of it.
I imagine that more stories are like yours. I work in pharmacy so I know that even just filling a script like taht takes time and is highly controlled. I think that people who say those type of things don’t know a kid or family who has dealt with it and if they did they would probably feel differently.
Yes, a previous commenter talked about the prescriptions, too. No refills, have to get a new script every month, some are hard to even find, can’t pick it up unless the right number of days have gone by(found that one out when we tried to pick it up a week early so we’d have it on vacation).
Wow-I can’t believe it took a year (plus)! My sis was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, so I’m familiar with how real of an issue it is. I’m glad you found a solution for him!
If we had wanted to, we could have gone the med route at the February appt, but that still wouldn’t have been quick.
This is so true. Rarely do moms enter into medicating their children without agonizing over it. I’m glad it’s working for him.
Definitely a lot of thought goes into it. Maybe because we just go through the process and don’t share all the details, people who are on the outside of it just assume it was quick and easy.
At the beginning of this journey and so glad I have people that can share their stories. So many people nearby, do more of the … oh no, not my kid, when you know all to well they are not telling the truth!
Any questions you have, you know where to find me. xo
Agreed. I’ve seen family members go through the same lengthy process. We’re quick to criticize what we don’t understand. Blessings to your household today, Shell!
So easy to sit on the outside of any situation and assume it was easy.
I take ADD meds, and I can promise that MINE weren’t given out like candy. I was in therapy for a year and I have to see my doctor every six weeks. Plus there are random blood draws, not only for my health, but to make sure I’m not abusing the drugs I’m given. None of it is easy, but it is worth it because they help me get through the day like people with typical brains.
Our doctor was telling us (when I complained about the switch from checking in every 6 months to it having to be every 3 months), that at the majority of the offices around here, you have to have a monthly appointment to get your next refill. It’s not an easy process at all! I’m glad you have something that works for you. xo
This is such an excellent post Shell. The people I know have had similar experiences as yours…no rush for meds at all, but when given they have been life-changing. Thank you for sharing your experience.-Ashley
I’ve yet to hear anyone’s personal experience where it was quick. It’s always been someone telling me about a second or third hand experience when they say it’s quick.
I am so glad you are putting this out there so people know what it really takes to get a child the help he/she needs.
There really is so much more involved than just one doctor’s appointment.
We have been working to get our son diagnosed since he was four…and now that he is 6.5, we finally have a med that works…in addition to the IEP meetings, the special purpose preschools, therapists, and on and on I could go. You have to be super committed and dedicated to wanting to get help for your child. It isn’t a quick and easy process. I am thankful for this post. So many people think it is so easy to get the diagnosis and meds! it isn’t! The meds for us have been an absolute life-saver. I can honestly say that for the first time in years, we have been actually enjoying our son when it comes to being his parent. Play time is fun, transitions are easier, learning is easier for him and his work has improved. It doesn’t just help us; it helps him!
My son is so much happier on his meds. And our family dynamic is easier, too. There’s so much work involved in being the parent to a child with special needs- there’s always something extra to be doing.
Thank you for sharing your experience, Shell. I can’t even imagine having to go through the whole process. But I’m glad you did, because your boy is thriving now, and that’s what matters.
Thanks, Alison. It was a long road, but he is doing great now. I get my buttons pushed when someone talks about how easy it is and how meds are given out too often. It’s rare to hear that from someone who actually went through it, so I thought I’d share our story.
I have never passed judgement on friends who’s kids are on some type of medicine or assumed they just did to make their life easier. I’m not in your shoes or someone else’s, and I know moms have their kids well being as a top priority. Thanks for sharing your story for others!
Know that by being open-minded like that, you are giving your friends a gift. There’s so much stress and worry involved and to have friends who accept… it means a lot.
You don’t even wanna know what happens of you stupidly, say, leave a nearly-full thing of ADHD meds in the hotel bathroom at Disney… and fail to notice that you’ve done so until you unpack your bags at home on June 8th. Trust me.
All I’m willing to say about it is that it was almost as awful as somehow misplacing my Green Card (shortly after I was married; I’m Canadian and my husband is dual US-CDN citizen) during a cross-country move to California and the lovely immigration folks coming turning up for a surprise visit/are-you-really-married-inspection while I was on at a three-day conference in Boston.
Apparently, hubby’s showing the immigration guy all my clothes in our closet, the abstract from my presentation at aforementioned 3-day conference, the faculty web page of UCLA that included my name/photo/title/syllabus showing I was teaching 3 classes that semester/etc, my return e-ticket showing I’d be back later in the week and me providing copious proof (including a certified, notorized letter from the Chair of my Dept at UCLA stating that I was a professor with tenure) was inadequate proof that I was really married (not pretend-to-get-a-green-card married) so far as immigration was concerned. It took six months and an expensive lawyer to reinstate the GC I was entitled to.
However, during the entire GC debacle, I wasn’t accused of committing a felony. Which is more than I can say about forgetting my girl’s meds at Disney!!
Oh no, Kaytee! I have nightmares about this- about leaving it on vacation or forgetting it when we go and not being able to get him replacements.
You know, people really do NOT understand the process AT ALL. The time it takes to get all of this done for a child. It is NOT the easy way out. Every month we go to the doctor. And then, the meds wear off after they get home from school. The school sees all of the effect of the meds. We do this so he can do well. Now, we have other medications that we personally have to use to help our son deal with his sleep issues and his violent behaviors, but that is requiring us to go even more frequently to the doctor. We, like you, have been to specialist after specialist. *sigh* I wish people wouldn’t judge. They really have no clue.
There is so much involved. We ended up adding another med for after school, for those nights when we have somewhere to go or company over. Our doctor has told us that because we can tell a difference, we don’t even have to just give it on those occasions, but we can give it all the time. The only reason we don’t is because it’s hard to find and I’d rather just make sure it’s on hand when it’s really required.
I never understand why people are quick to judge to that assumption. Just ignorance I guess. I’m glad your finding the right combo for your little man