During my morning mom-taxi duties of dropping off my oldest two at their elementary school and then driving into town to preschool and then back home, I listen to a local radio show. Mostly because I like the music they play, notsomuch for the morning radio show hosts.
Every morning, they have a segment called “the daily search for Darwin Award nominees, the news that didn’t make the news.” And it features the stupid things people do in local stories around the country. Usually it involves a Wal-Mart somewhere. And sometimes I laugh and other times, I think it’s cruel because the people involved already feel bad enough as it is, they don’t really need to be made into a joke.
But last week, they told a story that struck a nerve and had me cussing at the radio(thankfully, I’d dropped all the kids off by this point so their ears weren’t assaulted by my rant).
The story went something like this: There was a woman who bought a house for a ridiculously low price- about $5,000, with the intent of fixing it up, flipping it, and making a profit. And now she’s sitting on $110,000. But not from selling the house. She sued the city for not disclosing that there was lead paint in the house, which she found out when her child started showing elevated lead levels. And the radio host said something to the effect of “How about teaching your kid not to eat paint chips?” And then he laughed.
To which I said something along the lines of “Fuck you, you fucking ignorant asshole bastard!” and slammed the off button on my radio.
My kindergarten had lead poisoning. And yes, it came from our former home. Which we had been assured did not have any lead- a big, fat lie.
My beautiful son, who suffers from lead poisoning
And he had so many problems from the lead poisoning. The effects of lead poisoning can be: decreased bone and muscle growth, poor muscle coordination, damage to the nervous system, kidneys and/or hearing, speech and language problems, developmental delay, and even seizures and unconsciousness. Verbal, linguistic, and cognitive deficits. Inattentiveness, hyperactivity, short term memory problems, aggression, violence, hostility, inappropriate/uncontrolled behaviors similar to ADD/ADHD, difficult to manage, fine motor dysfunction, irritability, problems with learning, delayed growth, behavior problems, difficulty concentrating, headaches, loss of appetite, weight loss, sluggishness, fatigue, abdominal pain, muscle and joint weakness or pain, anemia. The list of the effects of lead poisoning goes on and on. I get physically ill thinking about it all. And knowing how true it is because we’ve lived with this for years now.
But let me tell you this: my child did not eat paint chips.
Think of a child who is one or two years old and how oral they are. How everything goes in their mouth. So, they touch a door frame or window sill or floor that has lead residue. And then they later put their hands in their mouths as they eat. Or they touch a toy and put that toy in their mouths. Or they suck on their fingers. Lead exposure, right there.
Not from eating paint chips, you asshole radio host. Don’t you think if it were as simple as telling your child not to eat paint, I would have done so?
And I realize that “it’s all in fun” and that there are those who would roll their eyes at me and tell me it was meant as a joke.
I’m sure you have seen the campaign to “spread the word to end the word” to stop the use of the R-word. I especially love what Ellen of Love That Max did to try to make people aware of the words they were using. She so eloquently discusses this issue while I just get pissed off. I need to take a lesson from her, but for today, I just need to vent.
When someone makes a joke about eating paint chips, I take it just as seriously and personally and feel that it’s just as offensive.
Because lead poisoning isn’t a joke.
And now I have to find a new radio station to listen to in the mornings.
I would have been mad it I had heard that joke.
Because I do know about your son, and I have been reading your blog (and learning about his story) for several years now. Your writing and speaking out about lead poisoning is making a difference, and it is educating people. You are a great mom.
Thanks, Tracie.
I so won’t have wanted to be that radio host if you had been hearing him talk at a near by table and not of the radio.
I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself had it been someone in person.
Well, yes, they were ignorant assholes, and I think your rant and vent is totally justified.
As Tracie said, you’re a great advocate for creating awareness for lead poisoning. I know this is not a position you want to be in, but you’ve been such a champ about it. Hopefully, less assholes in your path in the future.
Thanks, Alison!
AMEN!
Did you email the station? I totally would! It happened to me once with the radio station I uses to listen to and emailing felt cathartic. Not sure it made a difference but in this case it might! Hugs to you!!!!
I’d also be emailing the station. You are a great advocate for your sons and I love the awareness that you create with your story. I know that in my younger (ahem, unwiser years) I have said something offhandedly that was offensive and it took my @ss getting handed to me for me to even realize it. 3 separate times someone was brave enough to call me out, and I’m a better person because of it today.
I should email the station. I almost called when it happened but thought they would probably just shrug me off as someone who can’t take a joke. Only, it’s not a joke.
I’m with Amanda…. did you contact the radio station? I think that you should and set them straight.
You’re venting… totally justified as far as I’m concerned and I love that you’re sharing all that you’ve learned and what you know about lead poisoning because it’s something we don’t think about or know much about really. Maybe it’s just me… but you’re informing so many of us and it’s a good thing.
So rant away. We don’t mind at all. 🙂
And I understand b/c I didn’t know all this until my son was affected.
I also agree that you should contact the radio station. Not that you necessarily need an apology, but so they know not to do that stupid shit again. I’m sorry!
I think I will- the comments on this are convincing me.
People are always saying things without thinking. Words are dropped so casually – retard, gay, schizo. And I’ve been guilty, in the past of using them. I’m glad there’s you and Ellen who send out reminders/blog about the effects of using such words.
And I’m glad you blog about lead poisoning because each post I’m sure educates someone new. {Although I know you wish you didn’t have to}.
I’m with the others, I think I’d call the station.
I’m definitely more careful with my words. I hate that we’ve had this experience with lead poisoning but the more I’m learning, the more I see that it’s so much more common than I thought.
I agree and as a mother with 8 kids whos been poisioned from lead i to am very upset by the joke lol its not funny when are children who has been affected is doing surgery on you in 15 years and suddenly cant remember or consentraite hello dumb @$$ there your future take it sirius….
I’m so sorry. I know how hard it is with just one lead poisoned.
Some folks don’t realize the impact their words or actions have when in working in a public forum. They don’t realize the huge responsibility it is. Making jokes about something that has a profound and lasting effect on children (anyone really) is tasteless.
Amen.
Total ignorance. I don’t think people know as much as we credit them with. I am staggered by how stupid people are on a daily basis. Humor is humor…some people probably thought it was funny, but we all have different reactions. I still just hate that you’ve had to deal with all of this.
I hate it, too. I wish I could just think it was all a joke.
If I were you, I’d do more than rant…I’d contact the radio station and let them know how you feel. Send them this blog post as an email if you have to! They might have been trying to be funny, but it wasn’t. And they need to know that.
I think I will. The comments are convincing me. 🙂
I feel like you should forward this to the station. Honestly, until I read your blog, I didn’t even realize that lead poisoning was still an issue! Now I know and I think and worry about it and will always have that in the back of my mind should we ever move to an older home. You’ve definitely educated me about it!
There are still millions of children affected by lead poisoning. It’s so scary.
ugh some people just don’t understand that not everything is a ‘joke’ We live in a house with lead paint (under other paint now thankfully) and even just regular dust can have the lead in it. Obviously no one is going to let their child eat chipping paint (at least I hope not!) but there are so many ways to ingest lead!
I would email the radio station at the very least to let them know that you will no longer be listening and why.
So many ways to come into contact with it that don’t involve eating paint chips. I really hate that stereotype.
You did the right thing by turning off the radio! Some people are ignorant and say things just to get a reaction like that radio host. Lead poisoning is very serious and why should they joke about that to begin with…..
The thing that really bothered me is thinking that all the other listeners would just laugh, too, and not realize that it’s quite serious if you have a child affected by lead poisoning.
I didn’t read the other comments so I apologize if this is repetitive. I am too sick to my stomach that someone made this a joke. It’s not funny. At all. It makes me want to punch the person that said it. Isn’t the idiot lucky that he doesn’t have to deal with a loved one afflicted with this? Idiot. How about just being thankful and compassionate? How about shutting the hell up because he has no idea the heartbreak of watching HIS CHILD deal with the effects of lead poisoning. God, this fires me up so much. It’s not the same thing, I know but it reminds me of when a gym teacher gives Nico or Tommy a hard time about running in class, making fun of them for being athletes that are slackers. I want to punch them in the throat and ask them if they know the feeling of breathing through a straw because that is how the boys feel and they still fight through it. Your Bear, my boys…they are heroes as far as I am concerned because they LIVE this…they OVERCOME it. They aren’t some second rate radio person trying to be funny at someone else’s expense! Sorry…now that I just ranted in this comment, I’ll be quiet.
I know you get this. We both have to listen to ignorant people make comments about things they know nothing about. It’s so, so frustrating!
If I were you, I would have been pissed too.
And since knowing you, I don’t take this crap lightly. I’ve seen your beautiful boy and he is not a funny punch line at the end of a joke.
That radio show guy is a dumbshit.
Thank you, Mimi. xo
I think you had every reason to be pissed, and I’m so glad that you wrote this PSA about it because I think a lot of people don’t realize both the long term risks of lead poisoning or the fact that it really isn’t about eating paint chips. An adult could just as easily put their hand on a wall to prevent from falling (especially with children at their feet) and then later stick their hands in a bag of chips and into their mouth. Who washes their hands every time they touch a wall? Or a door frame? It could happen to ANYONE and it isn’t a joke.
It really could happen to anyone. It’s so frightening. And the effects are truly awful.
I support you ranting everywhere you can to get out this important information. Until I started reading your blog, I had no real idea of the horrific problems lead paint can cause. I’m grateful to know now and hope the radio station hears you out. Good luck!
I know that the effects aren’t common knowledge- I didn’t know much about it until my own son was exposed, but at the same time, I wish there could just be more general compassion for anyone struggling. There are plenty of illnesses out there that I don’t know much about when it comes to their effects, but I can still be compassionate… or at least not turn them into a joke.
I agree with others; i hope you called the station manager (not the DJs). I’m also sure the DJ would appreciate knowing he was being a dick. Sorry about your family’s suffering from the lead paint…
All the comments on this post have me convinced I do need to contact them.
Ugh! I’m disgusted by the things people deem hilarious. Thank you for writing this post. Lead poisoning is definitely not a joke.
Thank you! xo
An important message. Thanks for the reminder, Shell. I have over the years, worked with children who had lead poisoning and you are so right, the effects can be devastating.
I agree with the PP’s. Contact the radio station. Some things just aren’t funny!
I wish I didn’t know firsthand about the effects. 🙁
I’d be hopping mad, lead poisoning is no joke. It’s serious and it’s not about eating paint chips, just breathing it in can affect you.
Exactly.
I’m behind you 100%. Most educated people know that it’s not from eating lead paint but usually from the dust that’s emitted when stripping the paint. Thank you for your continued mission to raise awareness. It means something!
Thanks, Fadra.
This is why I find so many jokes out there and sites like the people of walmart not really funny. To be totally honest, I have laughed at some of the pictures and different things along those lines- but in the end it is real people, real people who are living lives that we know nothing about so it just really is not that funny.
I agree. I’ve been guilty of laughing sometimes, but then I realize these are real people. The first time it truly hit me was when they were talking about a guy who did something super stupid(I can’t quite remember what it was- but it was so obviously not anything anyone should ever attempt) and the guy died. And all I could think of was that somewhere out there, his family was mourning losing their son/husband/brother/etc and meanwhile, THAT is supposed to be a joke? Nope.
You have every right to be angry. I’m sorry you had to hear that. Have you considered taking it a step further and writing to the radio show? Now sure if it would do anything since the joke has come and gone, but raising awareness is always good.
Or you can vent and we will be here to listen. That’s okay too. 🙂
I almost called as soon as it happened, but I needed to calm down. And then I went back and forth on if I should say anything to them or not- figuring they would probably just say “lighten up, lady, it’s just a joke” and then possibly mock me on air. But the comments here have convinced me that I do need to speak up.
Too bad you couldn’t have called in… you could have made a great point and been justified in your anger!!! I am so so sorry you had to deal with lead poisoning and your poor kiddo had to suffer so…
I thought about it. But I was afraid I would just go on a screaming rant and they wouldn’t take me seriously.
I was mad for you! WE really need to think twice about what we let fly out of our mouths. We just never know what people have gone through. I’m sorry your little guy has had to deal with this! Good for you for speaking out.
There’s such an attitude of “light up, it’s just a joke”… and while I get that sometimes, I also think we need to realize words can hurt.
Ignorant people, ignorant minds! I wonder how their sponsors felt about their comments? They are paying for a time slot with people that just made a joke about something incredibly serious.
I’m sorry you had to hear those words! Those are the djs that should play more and talk less!
I wonder. Or if they just chalk it up to a joke as well.
I think I have a great sense of humor and am not easily offended. But I would not have found that funny either. Some things are just in poor taste.
I can usually chalk a lot of things up to well, it’s just a joke. But this one really hit me right in the gut.
I wouldn’t have thought that was funny either, and I tend to think people are far too PC for their own good…but when people’s kids are the reason for the joke, then it’s always gone too far…
You know, someone on a listserv tossed out how her bosses were “so ADD.” My son suffers with ADHD and it made me mad that this person tossed it around so casually. After I stewed about it, I contacted this person personally, not on the listserv. Amazingly, it turned out that SHE suffers from ADD and even she tossed it around. I think it’s gotten to be our version of whistling in the dark. We joke about even serious things that affect us.
I’ve always been worried about lead. I live in an area with LOTS of old housing stock. Our first house was over 100 years old. I had my son tested a couple of times, with no elevated levels. But he ended up with ADHD nonetheless. I don’t know if it would’ve made a difference if that had been the cause or not. But it’s frustrating. I would do ANYTHING to make it easier for my son (and for us, too – because there are plenty of days he is not fun to live with).
I didn’t realize what lead poisoning can cause – lots of things! It’s scary to think that all of those symptoms could easily be misdiagnosed as other problems, if people weren’t aware of this child’s exposure to lead in the first place. And yes, it was totally a cruel, ignorant thing to say about the paint chips!!
I didn’t realize until our son went through it. After talking to his doctors, they said that there have been cases where autism or behavioral issues were diagnosed and the lead wasn’t caught until much later.